The Berenstain Bears Chapter Book: The G-Rex Bones

by Stan Berenstain

  Chapter 9

  Dead Bear’s Gulch

  The sun on the highway near Dead Bear’s Gulch was hotter than ever. Fortunately, Ralph had put a big water cooler on the bus so the tour group could fill their canteens before setting off on their hike to the fossil site, which was almost two miles from the road.

  As they hiked past a big mesa, Lizzy’s sharp eyes inspected it. “That’s it,” she whispered to Sister. “That’s the one we saw Ralph from. Pass it on.”

  It worked out perfectly. The mesa was about a mile from the highway, and the big tent was another mile on. The shallow gulch they’d seen before ran right by the tent. It was too dangerous to drive a big, heavy tour bus two miles off the highway, but a pickup truck could make it with ease. Now there wasn’t any doubt that they’d seen Ralph and four other bears with shovels at the fossil site on the day before the fossils were supposed to have been discovered.

  “Step right up! Step right up!” barked Ralph as he pulled a tent flap open. “See the colossal bones of the great Gigantosaurus rex!” Actual Factual’s name for the beast had been reported that morning in every newspaper in Bear Country.

  Papa and the cubs filed in with the others. It was cooler in the tent, but enough of the blazing sunlight shone through the canvas ceiling to clearly show the bones spread out on the sand.

  “Wow,” said Brother. “Look at the size of those things. What do you think, Papa?”

  “Pretty interesting,” said Papa. “Guess I’ll have to bone up on dinosaurs. Get it? Bone up on dinosaurs?”

  “I get it, Papa,” said Brother. He turned to Ferdy. “More important, what do you think, Ferd?”

  Ferdy was stroking his chin, looking thoughtfully at the vast array of fossil bones. “I think there’s something fishy about these bones,” he said. “They’re so clean. If they’ve ever actually been in the ground, it couldn’t have been for long.” He raised his hand and called out, “Oh, Ralph!”

  “That’s Mr. Ripoff to you, sonny,” sneered Ralph. “Oh, it’s you, Ferdy. What is it, young fella?”

  “Has the Bearsonian staff been here to clean off the fossils?” asked Ferdy.

  “Er … uh, no, they haven’t,” said Ralph. “But I had Sandcrab Jones clean ’em up the other day. Wanted them to look nice and neat for the photographers.” He scanned the audience. “Any other questions, folks?”

  As the other tourists asked questions, the Bear Detectives huddled. “Do you think he’s telling the truth?” asked Brother.

  “I doubt it,” said Ferdy. “But even if he is, there’s something else about those bones that troubles me.”

  “What is it?” asked Fred.

  “That’s the trouble,” said Ferdy. “I can’t quite put my finger on it. Perhaps if I sleep on it …”

  Chapter 10

  Lingering Doubts

  Ferdy did sleep on it. Not just for one night, though. He slept on it for three nights. That’s because he just couldn’t figure out what was bothering him about the G-rex fossils.

  During those few days, Ferdy avoided the other Bear Detectives at school. He was embarrassed about not being able to solve a scientific problem. Finally, the others approached him in the schoolyard at recess.

  “Hey, Ferdy,” said Brother. “We’re kind of curious about what’s happening with you.”

  “Well,” said Ferdy with a sigh, “I’ve gotten a lot of sleep lately, but that’s about all.”

  “Maybe that’s because there’s nothing wrong with the fossils,” suggested Fred.

  Ferdy shook his head. “I wish it were so,” he said, “but I just can’t bring myself to believe it. I remain skeptical.”

  “Skeptical?” said Lizzy.

  Fred, who read the dictionary for fun, defined the word. “Skeptical,” he said. “Inclined to doubt or question. It’s very important for scientists to be skeptical, you know. They have to question everything until they have proof.”

  “Very well put,” said Ferdy.

  “Thanks,” said Fred. “But it’s also important for scientists to talk to each other about their doubts. Shouldn’t you talk to your uncle about this?”

  “I agree,” said Ferdy. “Let’s all go see him at the Bearsonian after school today.”

  And they did. In Actual Factual’s office, Ferdy expressed his doubts about the G-rex fossils. The professor didn’t seem to listen very carefully. When Ferdy was done, his uncle leaned back in his chair and smiled.

  “Of course, as a scientist I approve of your skeptical attitude, Ferdy,” said Actual Factual. “However, I must tell you that my laboratory tests on the G-rex toe bone are now complete. In fact, I am about to announce the results to the media. And those results show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the G-rex toe bone is chemically very similar to T-rex bones that are seventy million years old.”

  Ferdy shook his head and said, “I must admit, Uncle Actual, that this is very powerful evidence. But I still can’t help wondering: if the G-rex lived at the same time as the T-rex, why haven’t any fossils been found before now? A number of T-rex fossils have been found over the years, but not a single solitary G-rex bone. And now, all of a sudden, we have a whole skeleton!”

  “There are any number of possible reasons for that,” said the professor. “There may have been many fewer G-rexes than T-rexes. Or it may have lived in only a small space on the earth compared to T-rex.” He smiled again. “Ah, my dear brilliant little nephew! It does my heart good to see you sticking to your guns like this. But if the lab tests can’t persuade you, what can? Being skeptical is always the first thing a scientist must be. But it can be taken too far. A scientist must also be open to the new, the unexpected. Don’t let your skeptical attitude ruin the excitement of this great discovery, Ferdy! Now, if you’ll excuse me …”

  And with that, Actual Factual strode quickly down the hall to where a crowd of reporters and photographers was waiting at the front entrance.

  Chapter 11

  The Unveiling

  Finally, it was the day of the great unveiling—the unveiling of the put-together G-rex skeleton at the Bearsonian Institution. The museum staff had worked for days to piece together the great pile of bones. Now the colossal skeleton stood tall in the rotunda of the Hall of Dinosaurs, covered by an equally colossal veil of canvas. Actually, “tall” wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how it stood. The top of its head almost touched the rotunda’s skylight, partially blotting out the sun. It was obvious to all gathered in the rotunda that the G-rex skeleton was fully twice the height of the big T-rex skeleton at the Big Bear City Museum of Natural History.

  There must have been a hundred guests crammed into the rotunda. Of course, Ralph Ripoff and Sandcrab Jones were among them. So were Chief Bruno and Officer Marguerite, to maintain order and guard the G-rex. But the throng that circled the great covered beast was made up mostly of the media and invited scientists. The scientists wore name tags listing their universities or other institutions. Ferdy Factual, a scientist in his own right, wore a Bearsonian Institution tag. Actual Factual had given him four extra passes, which he’d given to the Bear Detectives in honor of their efforts to ensure that the G-rex was no hoax.

  “Isn’t this exciting?” said Brother to Ferdy. “First the unveiling, then the signing.” He motioned to the table that had been placed beside the G-rex display. “Just imagine. In a few minutes your uncle will sit there and sign the bill of sale. And the G-rex will belong to the Bearsonian forever.”

  But Ferdy didn’t seem to share Brother’s upbeat mood.

  “What’s wrong, Ferd?” asked Brother. “You don’t look excited.”

  “That’s only because I’m not excited,” said Ferdy. “I still can’t help believing that something will go wrong. Very wrong.”

  Brother let out a groan. “Let it go, Ferd,” he pleaded. “You’re gonna bring everyone else down—even your uncle …”

  “Not much chance of that,” scoffed Ferdy. “Uncle Actual has been lost somewhere up in the
stratosphere ever since those chemical tests were completed. I’d need a guided missile to bring him down!”

  Just then Mayor Horace J. Honeypot stepped up to the podium beside the table and spoke into the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said in solemn tones, “we are gathered here today—”

  “Is he kidding?” Sister whispered to Brother as the mayor droned on. “Does he think Actual Factual and the G-rex are getting married?”

  “Well, in a way they are,” Brother whispered back. “The G-rex is the greatest display in the whole museum. I’m sure the professor has a very special feeling of affection for it.”

  The crowd gave a thankful sigh when the mayor finally ended his boring speech and introduced Professor Actual Factual. They gave the professor a standing ovation. (Of course, they were already standing, anyway.)

  “Thank you, friends, Beartowners, and visiting scientists,” said Actual Factual. “As much as I’d like to, I won’t bore you with a long scientific lecture about Gigantosaurus rex. Suffice it to say that the great creature clearly lived up to its name. And now, without further ado, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for: the unveiling!”

  Actual Factual signaled to the workbears who were in charge of the great ropes tied to the veil. They pulled on the ropes and down came the veil, landing in a crumpled heap at the skeleton’s huge bony feet.

  A hundred gasps could be heard as a hundred pairs of eyes lifted toward the skylight. The massive feet, legs, chest, and tail all made quite an impression on the audience. But what instantly drew everyone’s attention was the immense head. The great jaws were slightly open, as if the beast were gathering breath for a monstrous roar.

  “Wow!” said Sister, shivering a little. “What huge teeth it has!”

  “All the better to eat you with,” teased Fred.

  “But what tiny hands it has!” added Sister.

  “All the better to pick its teeth with after it eats you,” said Fred.

  “Cut it out!” snapped Sister. “You’re scaring me!”

  “Okay, Fred, cool it,” Brother cautioned. He turned to Ferdy. “Well, what do you think now, Ferdy?”

  But Ferdy didn’t even hear him. His gaze was set on the G-rex, and a frown was fixed on his face. He was lost in deepest thought.

  Lizzy, Bear Country’s biggest nature lover, had been speechless until now. “My goodness!” she gasped. “It’s a magnificent creature! What a shame it went extinct!”

  “A shame?” said Sister. “You gotta be kiddin’, Liz! I’m glad that big ugly thing is extinct! If it wasn’t, I’d move to another planet!”

  At last the hushed crowd found its voice. Its hands, too. It broke into applause, with cries of “Bravo!” and “Magnificent!”

  Twirling his cane, Ralph Ripoff came forward to place a sheet of paper on the table. He motioned for quiet. “Don’t mean to break up the party, folks,” he said. “But the time has come for what I’ve been waiting for: the signing. Gentlemen, if you would please take your places …”

  There were two chairs at the table. Actual Factual sat in one, Sandcrab Jones in the other.

  “Mr. Jones,” said Ralph, handing the old hermit a pen, “if you would sign first, please.” He pointed to the spot on the bill of sale. But Sandcrab just stared at it. He motioned Ralph to lean closer and whispered in his ear.

  “Well, then,” said Ralph, “in that case, just make your mark.”

  Sandcrab smiled a toothless smile and drew a little picture of a crab on the line meant for his signature. He handed the pen to Actual Factual.

  “And now, Professor,” said Ralph, with barely controlled glee, “if you would put your ‘Actual Factual’ right here on the dotted line …”

  The professor placed the point of the pen on the dotted line and began to write.

  Suddenly, a cub’s voice echoed through the rotunda. “Stop! Don’t sign it!”

  All eyes turned to the speaker. It was Ferdy. He dashed to the G-rex and pulled a tape measure from his pocket. He measured the width of a leg bone and looked over at his uncle with alarm. “You mustn’t sign it, Uncle Actual!” he cried. He hurried to the table, leaned over it, and whispered something in Actual Factual’s ear. As the professor listened, his eyes grew wide.

  “I most certainly will not sign!” announced Actual Factual, jumping to his feet. He pointed accusingly at the great bony creature. “This so-called fossil skeleton is not a G-rex! In fact, it isn’t a fossil skeleton at all! It is a hoax!”

  Chapter 12

  King of the Giant Hoaxes

  At Actual Factual’s shocking announcement, a nervous murmur rippled through the crowd in the rotunda.

  “How do you know it’s a hoax, Professor?” shouted a reporter.

  “Because of what my brilliant nephew, Ferdy Factual, just pointed out to me,” said the professor. “I should have seen it myself, of course, but I’ve been so wrapped up in the chemical tests that I just didn’t notice it. Perhaps I was also so excited about this great discovery that I didn’t want to notice it. Ferdy, why don’t you explain it to the audience?”

  Ferdy stepped to the podium and disappeared behind it. Quickly, Actual Factual moved a chair behind the podium for Ferdy to stand on. When the cub’s face reappeared, it was beaming with pride at the chance to show off in front of the media and fellow scientists.

  “I observed the fossil bones out at Dead Bear’s Gulch,” said Ferdy, “but it didn’t occur to me then. It wasn’t until I saw the skeleton all put together that it hit me. The G-rex is twice the height of the largest T-rex ever found. But it has the same basic body shape as T-rex, which means that its weight must have been much greater than twice that of T-rex. That we know from the basic laws of physics. And yet the G-rex bones are only twice as thick as T-rex’s.” He pointed to the towering skeleton. “Those bones could never support the weight of that body. In fact, it would be impossible for a creature with G-rex’s body shape to reach such a height. Its bones would have to be so thick that there would be no room left for flesh or internal organs. Thus, we know that whoever planned this hoax was neither a biologist nor a physicist.”

  “An excellent observation, Ferdy,” said Actual Factual as he replaced his nephew at the microphone. “What strikes me is that the chemical makeup of the phony fossils is so accurate. There must have been a very brilliant chemist involved in this hoax …”

  The professor broke off and stared into space for a long moment. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. “I know who it was!” he cried. He scanned the audience until his gaze came to rest on a bearded scientist wearing a name tag that read: DR. REX GIANT, BIG BEAR UNIVERSITY. He pointed directly at the scientist and cried, “It was he! Seize him!”

  Several scientists took hold of their colleague’s arms as Actual Factual strode to meet him. “Rex Giant!” he said. “Gigantosaurus rex, Rex Giant. Very funny, Zoltan.”

  The audience gasped as the professor reached up and ripped off the bear’s beard and mustache. Of course, they came off easily because they were as phony as he was.

  Actual Factual smiled. “Dr. Bearish, I presume! I didn’t recognize you without your silly hat and ugly coat.”

  Dr. Zoltan Bearish glared back at Actual Factual, his penetrating gaze boring into the professor’s mind like an electric drill. Quickly, Actual Factual turned away to address the crowd.

  “This is the brilliant chemist who worked for me at the Bearsonian five years ago,” he said. “He spent more time on his own private experiments than on the work I gave him. And his carelessness ruined one of my most important experiments. So I fired him. Obviously, he planned this hoax to get revenge.”

  All of a sudden, Sandcrab Jones was on his knees before Actual Factual, pleading with the professor. “Please!” he wailed. “Don’t send me to jail! I confess to everything! Ralph Ripoff paid me to ‘discover’ those phony bones at Dead Bear’s Gulch. I needed the money to fix my shack because that lousy termite insurance Ralph sold me wouldn’t pay!”

  “H
e’s lying!” cried Ralph as Officer Marguerite put him in an armlock. “The old coot’s feeble-minded! He doesn’t know what he’s saying!”

  “It’s true!” said Sandcrab. “Ralph paid me thirty dollars!”

  “Thirty dollars?” shouted Dr. Bearish. “Why, you swindler, Ripoff! You told me you paid him two hundred dollars!”

  “You’re calling me a swindler?” cried Ralph.

  “Enough quarreling!” said Actual Factual. “You three can settle your scores in prison! Arrest them all, Chief!”

  But instead of arresting anyone, Chief Bruno stepped forward and gently helped Sandcrab Jones to his feet. “Rest easy, old-timer,” he said. “Nobody’s going to prison. Let go of Ralph, Marguerite. And the rest of you unhand Dr. Bearish.”

  “What?” cried Actual Factual. “Let them go? But this is the cruelest hoax in the history of Bear Country! It’s a clear case of fraud!”

  Chief Bruno shook his head and said calmly, “What you mean, Professor, is that it’s a clear case of almost fraud.” He went to the signing table and held up the bill of sale. “Professor, you put your ‘Actual’ on the dotted line, but not your ‘Factual.’ That means no sale. No sale, no fraud. Thus, no crime. Bear Country has anti-fraud laws, but no anti-almost-fraud laws.”

  The crowd began to grumble. Then there were boos and hisses. Clearly, they didn’t agree with Chief Bruno.

  But Actual Factual signaled for quiet. “Now wait just a second, everyone,” he said. “The chief is right. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that.”

  “But Uncle Actual,” said Ferdy, “you are a rocket scientist.”

  “Oh, yes, I forgot,” said the professor. “What I mean is: the chief is obviously correct in his legal analysis of the situation. We’ll just have to be content that Ferdy uncovered the hoax through his powers of observation and his knowledge of the laws of physics.” He looked again at the towering G-rex skeleton and turned to his nephew. “You know, Ferdy, I’m a bit surprised that those flimsy bones are strong enough even to support their own weight …”