Turn Darkly

by Heather McVea

  Her breath was coming in short bursts as she backed away from the door, beads of sweat trickling down her forehead. Scanning the room, Regan pulled the only sizable piece of furniture she had toward the door.

  The bed’s metal spindles creaked and squealed as the woman slid the foot of the bed flush against the wooden door. Swallowing hard, Regan’s throat felt like sandpaper, dry and tight. She moved to the small kitchen and took a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Nearly emptying the bottle in a series of rapid gulps, Regan felt lightheaded and stumbled to the bed.

  Lying back on the soft mattress, the woman took long, even breaths in an attempt to stay off fainting. She looked at her watch, and couldn’t believe it was only ten o’clock at night. The night, and the shocking revelations it had been riddled with, had seemed to stretch on forever.

  Sitting up, Regan drank the last of the water, and dropped the bottle to the floor. A gnawing sense of disbelief was slowly spreading across her mind. Shaking her head, Regan stood. The room was silent except for the low hum of the refrigerator.

  Her memory skittered and finally settled on the night she had got the flat on the way back from the observatory. Remembering the growls, and then the yellow eyes glaring at her through the darkness, Regan sank back down onto the bed, her mouth dry again with fear. Oh, god.

  ***

  “You won’t get a refund.” Vera sat behind the counter of the shop, a copy of the Big Bend Sentinel obscuring her face, plumes of cigarette smoke rising into the air as Regan went back and forth with the few boxes she had.

  “That’s fine.” Regan didn’t care about the money. She had decided at three in the morning, when sleep had given way to cold sweats and nightmares, that she would rather sleep in her van outside the observatory then stay in Howell another night.

  Vera shrugged, and turned her attention back to the paper. “No skin off my back.”

  Regan was arranging the last of her boxes in the back of the van, when a shadow fell over her. Standing up, she came face-to-face with Trent.

  “Regan, going somewhere?” The man peered around the woman, his eyes scanning the back of the van.

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, Regan forced herself to make eye contact with the man. She was tired and scared, but refused to let this bully get the better of her. “As a matter of fact I am. A room has opened up at the observatory, and it just makes sense to move closer to my work.”

  Trent tisked and shook his head. “You’re lying.”

  “Excuse me?” Regan felt her anxiety morph instantly to anger at the man’s insinuation.

  Trent leaned down, his face inches from Regan’s. “I said -”

  “That’s enough, Trent.” Lily’s voice came from the side of the van, her tone hard as she took a step to the side of Regan.

  The man’s eyes shot up, and he glared at his sister. “You don’t tell me when it’s enough.” Pointing his long index finger at Lily, the man seethed. “I decide when it’s enough.”

  Lily stepped between her brother and a stunned Regan. “This isn’t the time or the place.” She scanned the sidewalk and street. Several residents stood in front of Hobb’s Market, clearly interested in the group’s exchange.

  Trent’s eyes darted back and forth, his shoulders relaxed, and he looked past Lily to Regan. “Later.” Without a word to his sister, the man turned and walked toward the Last Stop.

  After several seconds, Lily turned to face Regan. “I’m sorry about that.” She looked down. “I’m sorry for him.”

  A twinge of concern and sympathy for a clearly distressed Lily shot through Regan, but was quickly replaced with the horrific images from the night before. “It doesn’t matter.” She turned and closed the van’s back gate.

  “Regan, please.” Lily’s warm hand was on Regan’s shoulder, her voice pleading.

  Pulling away, Regan struggled, thinking about the month she had spent getting to know the woman, in contrast to the trauma of the night before. “It doesn’t matter. Forget it.”

  Lily’s voice broke as she spoke. “I want to explain.”

  Regan turned, and felt her resolve wane when she saw the tortured expression on Lily’s face. “I - it’s fine. I won’t say anything, and - it’s fine.” Regan stepped around the beautiful woman, and quickly walked back toward the store.

  Realizing Lily had come into the store with her, Regan quickly gestured for the woman to follow her up the stairs. Vera had already put her paper down, and was outright staring at the pair.

  “Leave the door open.” Regan’s voice was stern, as if she was talking to a child. Her common sense was telling her she didn’t want to be in a closed space with Lily.

  A hurt expression crossed Lily’s face, darkening her otherwise light blue eyes. Regan watched, feeling helpless as tears pooled in the corners of the woman’s eyes. “Shit. Fine, close the damn door.”

  Lily left the door slightly cracked. Without moving any closer, the woman took a deep breath. “I like you so much, Regan. I’m not sure what to tell you, and what to keep from you.” Shaking her head, the dark haired woman looked intently at Regan. “No. I should tell you everything. It’s the only way.”

  Regan’s stomach felt sour and tight. She wasn’t sure she was ready for the truths of her life to be unbound, scattered, and left behind. She meant to tell Lily not to speak. They would be out of each other’s lives soon enough, and Regan could live with not knowing. Instead, she nodded her consent, the curiosity and imagination that had driven her entire life speaking over the shouting of her conscious mind.

  “I come from a long line of werewolves.”

  The statement had been uttered so casually, Regan nearly asked Lily to repeat herself. She had certainly suspected, based on what she had witnessed the night before. Still, hearing a truth with such far reaching implications spoken so frankly, left Regan speechless.

  Lily’s eyes narrowed as she concentrated her attention on Regan. “Did you hear me?”

  Regan willed her mind through the fog of doubt, and back into the present. “Yes.”

  Lily took a tentative step toward Regan. “Say something. Please.”

  Regan felt as if her throat and lungs had filled with water. She couldn’t breathe or speak as the room began to spin around her. Suddenly her legs gave out, and she found herself falling toward the wood floor of her room, clutching desperately at the air for something to save her.

  A warm hand wrapped firmly around her wrist, and then an arm pulled her back from the brink. Opening her eyes, she looked up into Lily’s clear blue ones. “You fainted.” The worried woman sat on the floor, Regan’s head cradled in her lap.

  Regan’s muscles felt weak, and she was unable to lift her head. “Sorry.”

  Lily smiled, and gently brushed a strand of Regan’s hair off her forehead. “I’m glad I caught you.” Looking around, Lily frowned at their position on the floor. “Well, sort of.”

  Regan felt something of herself returning, and lifted her head slowly. “I need to sit up.”

  “Sure.” Lily ran her arm under Regan’s shoulders and lifted.

  The room spun a little more as Regan managed, with Lily’s help, to sit up. “I’ve got it.” Regan leaned to the side, and slowly got to her knees Then after a few seconds, she pushed herself up.

  Standing proved more challenging than she expected, and she instinctively reached for Lily as her legs began to buckle again. The dark haired woman wrapped her arm around Regan’s waist and guided her to the bed.

  “Lay down and I’ll get you some water.” Stepping back from Regan, Lily went to the kitchen and returned a few seconds later with a glass of water. “The refrigerator was empty, so tap will have to do.”

  Regan gratefully took the water, and drank it eagerly. “Thanks.”

  Lily took the glass from Regan, and sat it on the wooden nightstand. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Lily looked expectantly at the prone woman. Regan in turn, wasn’t sure what to say. Nothing in her life’s experiences had prepa
red her for this situation, and clearly her conversational skills were lacking as a result.

  “I know I owe you an explanation, Regan.” Lily nervously flicked her thumb across her forefinger.

  “You really don’t.” Regan had an almost overwhelming urge to run. “We’ve known each other like half a second, and I know we - well slept together, but we’re not dating - so, you - what I’m trying to say is we don’t owe each other anything.”

  Regan nodded, feeling she had managed, albeit not very articulately, to say what she meant. She shifted and sat up on the bed next to Lily. “We’re cool.”

  Lily’s expression was unreadable. Her eyes fixed on Regan as her lower lip began to tremble. To Regan’s horror, the woman began crying uncontrollably, deep sobs filling the room.

  “I’m so sorry.” Lily managed through the tears. “I don’t mean to put any of this on you, and I know how pathetic this is.” She wiped at her runny nose with the back of her hand.

  Regan was suddenly struck with how surreal the situation was. She was sitting in her bedroom with a bawling woman she had slept with, who also happened to turn into a dog. In spite of how terrifying the night before had been, things weren’t shaping up to be a dark tale of the macabre, and Lily was not some nightmarish beast.

  Reaching over, Regan put her hand on Lily’s back. “It’s not pathetic. It’s odd, but not pathetic.”

  Lily stifled a sob as she looked up at Regan. “I wanted to tell you, but then you’re leaving and I didn’t see the point.”

  Regan got up, and going into the small bathroom, pulled several tissues from their box, and walked back to a still crying Lily. Handing the woman the tissues, Regan wasn’t sure what to do next. She opted to sit down next to Lily, and let her set the tone.

  After nearly a minute of watching the beautiful woman blow her nose and wipe her eyes, Regan couldn’t help but smile. It dawned on her that regardless of what additional aspects of the woman’s personality and life had come to light, she was still the same woman Regan had found instantly appealing a month ago.

  “Can I get you some water?” Regan asked. Lily nodded, and the woman picked up the glass she had used earlier and walked to the kitchen. Returning, Regan handed the glass to Lily.

  Emptying the glass, Lily set it back on the nightstand, and managed a weak smile. “I appreciate how not hysterical you’re being.”

  Regan shrugged, and sat back down on the bed. “You seem to have that covered.”

  Lily’s brow furrowed in response to Regan’s attempt at humor, but after a few seconds, the two women looked at each other and in unison erupted into laughter.

  “Jesus.” Lily ran her hand through her short hair, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling. “I’m a mess.”

  “You’re beautiful.” Regan hadn’t meant to say the words aloud, and was surprised when she didn’t regret the utterance.

  Lily smiled, and reached for Regan’s hand. “Thank you.”

  Regan nodded, and reluctantly removed her hand from Lily’s. “I have to get going.”

  Lily frowned. “I wish you’d stay, but I understand.”

  Regan stood, and before she thought better of it, asked the question that was foremost in her mind. “Speaking of staying - why do you?”

  Lily chewed nervously on the inside of her lower lip. “It’s complicated.”

  Regan pursed her lips. “Is that the case, or code for you don’t want to talk about it?”

  Lily grinned. “Both.”

  “Fair enough.” Regan walked toward the door, and then turned around. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, and I didn’t ask for tons of details because that will make it easier to keep that promise.” She hesitated. “Not because I didn’t care enough to ask.”

  The truth was she had a million questions. The fact she squelched her natural curiosity to ensure she was never in a position to compromise Lily’s secret, told Regan more about her feelings for the woman than she cared to admit. Leaving Lily was going to be one of the hardest things Regan had ever done.

  Lily had closed the space between her and Regan. The two women embraced, and Regan placed a gentle kiss on Lily’s cheek before releasing her, and descending the stairs. Walking to her van, Regan was torn between needing to leave, and wanting to stay.

  Her affinity for Lily had been created in a moment, and for a while, their paths intersecting had made this remote part of the world seem like home.

  ***

  “Did you get everything you needed?” William McCale stood next to the white VW van, wearing a green t-shirt that read Gravity Keeps Me Down across the front of it. Regan couldn’t help but smile at the man and his affinity for humorous attire.

  Brushing wisps of hair off her forehead, Regan loaded the last of her belongings into the van’s cargo area. Shielding her eyes against the afternoon sun she looked at William. “I did. Thank you for all your help and support.”

  The stocky man nodded. “Safe travels.” He extended his hand to Regan. “Sure you won’t go out in the morning?”

  “I’ll stop when I get tired.” She shook the man’s hand firmly, and slid behind the steering wheel of the van.

  “Wait up!” Jason’s voice came from just behind the van as Regan started the engine. “Were you leaving without saying goodbye?”

  Jason and she had shared a room for the past three weeks. In spite of Regan’s initial apprehensions, the man had been on his very best behavior and the two had become good friends.

  “Don’t be dramatic, Wiggles. We kiss-kissed and hug-hugged inside.” She teasingly stuck her tongue out at the man.

  “I’ll see you in a few months?” Regan had agreed to spend the holidays with Jason and his family in Dallas. For the first time since her parents’ death, she wasn’t dreading that time of year.

  “See you then.” She put the van in drive, and pulled away from the observatory. She had managed to stay on top of her data over the past three weeks. With the majority of the correlation complete, all she had left to do was write her conclusions. A wave of euphoria washed over her with the realization that her dissertation was over ninety percent complete.

  A few miles from the observatory, the euphoria came to a grinding halt as Regan drove past the mile marker sign for Howell. She had not been able to forget Lily, and had hated how the woman kept creeping into her mind at the most inopportune times.

  Committed to not getting any more entangled in the beautiful woman’s affairs, Regan had managed to fight several urges to pay the woman a visit. Now, she was driving right past Lily’s house, and directly through the center of Howell.

  Maybe it’s a sign? Regan shook her head, and turned the radio up, hoping the sound of OneRepublic’s Counting Stars would drown out the incessant voice telling her to detour.

  Her arms practically ached to turn the van into Lily’s driveway, but Regan willed her foot to stay on the accelerator, refusing to even look up the drive toward the houses. Her will power faltered at the Howell city limits, and she was surprised to find herself parked outside the Last Stop.

  Reverse, Andrews. Reverse! Even as her common sense and self-preservation were screaming in her head, her hands were independently putting the van in park, turning the engine off, and opening the door. Inexplicably, Regan found herself at the door to the restaurant, a thin film of sweat forming along her forehead and back.

  Now I have to go in. She’s probably already seen me. Taking a deep breath, Regan pulled the door open, a blast of cool air rushing over her.

  Waiting a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the dim interior, Regan scanned the room. To her dismay, Lily was nowhere to be found.

  A young blonde woman Regan didn’t recognize stood behind the counter. “Just grab a seat anywhere.”

  Stepping up to the counter, Regan cleared her throat. “Actually, I was wondering if Lily was working today.”

  The blonde shook her head. “Nope. She’s off on Tuesdays now.”

  Regan nodded. “Thanks.” Resigned that the pro
verbial planets were perpetually aligned against them, Regan stepped back from the counter, and walked toward the door.

  “But I saw her over at Hobb’s about ten minutes ago.” The blonde said casually.

  Regan couldn’t squelch the grin that spread over her lips. “Thanks.”

  Jogging across the street, Regan stopped short of the market’s entrance when she saw Lily walk out with a paper sack in her arms. Directly behind her was Trent.

  “Shit.” Regan muttered. Things were strained enough without Trent being involved.

  Before Regan could beat a hasty retreat back to her van, Lily’s eyes met hers, and a broad smile found the dark haired woman’s full lips. Independent of her will, and no longer concerned with Trent, Regan walked toward the woman.

  “Regan, you’re back.” Lily beamed as she stepped down onto the sidewalk.

  “Passing through. I’m done at Addison, and thought I would say hello.” Shoving her hands into her front pockets, Regan suddenly felt nervous. “And, I guess, goodbye.”

  Trent stepped out from behind his sister. “Long time no see, Regan.” The man looked Regan up and down. “You’re looking good.”

  Lily handed her brother the bag of groceries. “Take these to the truck, please.”

  Trent took the bag, but didn’t leave. “And miss the chance to catch up with Regan? Never.”

  “Trent.” Lily glared at her brother. After a second, he conceded, and retreated to Lily’s blue Ford truck.

  Suddenly alone with Lily, Regan was at a loss as to what to say to the woman. Their parting had been difficult and cluttered with a slew of strange occurrences, but Regan had missed Lily.

  “I’ve been thinking about you.” Lily’s voice broke as she managed to barely whisper the words.

  “Me too.” Regan smiled. “Look, I’m in no hurry. Do you want to do something?”

  Lily frowned, and looked toward where Trent stood leaning against the side of the truck. “I can’t.”

  “It’s kind of now or never, Lily.” Regan worked to keep the irritation out of her voice.