Faelorehn - Book One of the Otherworld Trilogy

by Jenna Elizabeth Johnson

  * * *

  Bright lights flashed far above me and it felt like I was floating. I heard urgent voices, shouting and barking out orders. Was I in heaven? Hell? Knowing how my life had been going for the past several months, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up in either place.

  Eventually, the flashing lights stopped and I detected one steady, bright glare. A sting in my arm, the sound of metal clattering on metal, more voices, an incessant beeping sound and then my awareness faded away again.

  I woke in a hospital room, completely disoriented and utterly confused. There were hospitals in the afterlife? A nurse came over to check on me, grinning and making some comment about getting my family. I was alive? After all that had happened? Wait, what had happened? I couldn’t remember. All I could recall was that I had been so sure I was dying. Guess I’d been wrong.

  Mom and Dad looked ragged, as if they had been up a week straight. My brothers came bounding in, all of them either drying their eyes or trying very hard not to burst into tears.

  They explained to me that I had been attacked by some stray dogs or coyotes near my high school. A man driving by saw it all and managed to pull the dogs off of me, then drove me to the hospital. My parents were disappointed that he hadn’t left his name, but apparently I had been lucid enough to give him my name and address.

  I had only been in the hospital for the night, though it felt like a week. I had plenty of bruises, some deep lacerations that needed stitches and my left leg had been fractured. I had also hit my head pretty hard but they patched me up, put a cast on my leg and proclaimed me fit enough to leave the hospital.

  Mom set me up in my bed once we got back home and brought me a pitcher of sweetened iced tea with lemons. She positioned the pillows so that I could sit up and read or watch TV or work on the variety of crossword puzzles and word searches she’d gathered for me.

  “The doctor said you should take it easy for the next few days to make sure you don’t suffer any more after effects of your concussion,” Mom said.

  I nodded. Just doing that hurt.

  She let out a troubled breath and shook her own head. “A pack of dogs, I can’t believe it. What is a pack of dogs doing wandering around the neighborhood?”

  She sounded so disbelieving, but not in a way that suggested she didn’t believe what had happened to me. There were a few junkyards in the industrial neighborhood on the other side of the highway, but they only kept one or two dogs to warn off any miscreants. Most dogs around here were either friendly or fiercely guarded their own yards.

  She shook her head again and said, “I just hope Animal Control finds them before they can hurt anyone else.”

  Her voice was shaky and I knew she was trying hard not to burst into tears. My mom was tough, she had to be with all my brothers, but when something serious happened she let her emotions show.

  I sighed and rubbed my arm. It was sore where the IV had been and where the nurses had given me a rabies shot, just to be safe. I grimaced. I couldn’t wait until everyone at school heard about that. I predicted a whole new onslaught of nicknames coming my way.

  Mom kissed me on the top of my head once more, her eyes shining with the emotion she was trying so hard to keep at bay, and then instructed me to send her a text on her cell phone if I needed anything. I told her I would be fine, but I picked up my phone and held it up to reassure her. Casting me one last smile, she made her way up my spiral staircase and disappeared through the trap door.

  Feeling overwhelmingly blessed about my current state of existence, I huffed a great sigh and leaned fully into my pillows. If my parents had any idea what had really happened . . . I screwed up my face. But what exactly had happened? It was still all a blur to me, the details at least, but I did recall crossing over into the Otherworld and then being almost immediately attacked by a contingent of monsters. I had done something to defend myself, something pathetic like picking up a rock or a stick. I really needed more practice with the lessons Cade had been giving me.

  I cringed at the thought of Cade. Had that really been him when I was certain I was dying? Had he really managed to thwart the Morrigan and chase away her monsters and hounds? Or had that just been another one of my delusions? Had he really held me in his arms and had he truly kissed me before I lost consciousness? And if so, could everything that the Morrigan said to me be a lie? Duh Meghan, she lured you into the Otherworld to kill you. Time to re-evaluate your opinion about Cade . . . again.

  I sighed and turned my head towards the sliding glass door that looked out into my backyard. It was early evening and the shadows of the trees were painting gray streaks across the lawn. It didn’t matter if Cade had come to help me, for I had a terrible feeling I would never see him again.

  Tears pricked my eyes and an ache worked its way up into my throat. As I drifted off to sleep, three thoughts surfaced to my mind. First, I prayed to whatever gods existed that the memories of my ordeal wouldn’t haunt me during my sleep. Second, I asked those same deities that the Morrigan would think I was dead and therefore wouldn’t come back for me. And lastly, I hoped with all my heart that Cade was safe somewhere in the Otherworld. Despite my mixed feelings towards him and regardless of the fact that the Morrigan seemed to have a significant amount of control over him, I only wished him well. Perhaps I really did love him, for why else would I feel this way towards someone who very well may have forsaken me?

  -Twenty-

  Explanation

  When I opened my eyes again it was just before dawn. I wasn’t sure what had woken me, for the silence in my room and just outside my doors was almost deafening. I had to just lie in bed for a few minutes as my muddled mind resurfaced. The medication they had given me at the hospital must have lingered longer than I thought. Finally, I took a deep breath and glanced towards the glass door. I nearly screamed in surprise.

  “Fergus!” I meant to shout, but it only came out as a croak.

  The great white wolfhound panted just outside my door, looking like a ghost against the early morning fog. I threw back the covers and made to get out of bed but the cast caught my eye. Ah, yes. Broken leg. Maybe Mom had left me some crutches . . . I looked around then sighed. No luck. I contemplated hop-limping over to the door but as soon as I put pressure on the leg, I cried out in pain.

  I sat on the edge of my bed, the sheets thrown back, feeling rather forlorn. I was wearing a pair of boxer shorts bedecked with my favorite cartoon characters from my middle school years and an old, faded t-shirt. I reached up and touched my hair. Yep, it was a mess. I hadn’t had a chance to take a good look at the bruises that decorated my face or the stitches in my shoulder and neck, but I’m sure it made me look like some sort of teen version of Frankenstein’s monster. Oh well, I thought with a grin, it’s only Fergus who’s seeing me like this.

  I glanced up, hoping that the hound hadn’t left, and then I nearly fell out of bed in shock. Fergus wasn’t alone anymore. A tall figure stood at my door, one hand on the hound’s head and the hood of his long trench coat pulled up. Of course, the first emotion that rushed through me was relief followed by a tidal wave of mortification. Oh, what a sight I must be! I scrambled to cover myself with my sheets and blanket, well aware of the view Cade surely had been given. At least the bruises will hide the blush, I thought in misery.

  Cade must have been waiting for something, because he continued to stand at the door, looking straight ahead. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I knew his eyes were trained on me. After a few more seconds I realized he was waiting for me to give him permission to enter my room. My dark, cluttered, too-many-personal-things-left-out-for-him-to-see room. I bit my lip. Should I let him come in? I glanced around in embarrassment. Dirty clothes were scattered everywhere, my desk was untidy and my bathroom could have used a good cleaning. I was dressed in nothing but some unfeminine boxer shorts and a hole-ridden t-shirt, my hair a rat’s nest and my face looking like
a demented artist’s pallet.

  I glanced back up again. Cade still stood there but Fergus seemed to have wandered off, perhaps to act as a lookout. I wasn’t ready to face Cade yet; at least I didn’t think I was. I still wasn’t sure what his intentions were. From the beginning he had seemed to be there to help me, but in retrospect, why would he? I was a stranger and his job was to round up wayward Faelorehn and the lost creatures of the Otherworld to bring them back to where they belonged. So why hadn’t he done that with me? Why hadn’t he returned me to the Otherworld when he had found me to begin with? There had to be a reason and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know that reason yet. The Morrigan could have been lying when she had said something about Cade having a mission, but she also could have been telling the truth.

  I sighed. I shouldn’t let Cade in but the fact that he was waiting for my permission was a good sign. Besides, deep down, I really wanted to know if that had been him on the other side of the dolmarehn. If he had saved me in the end or if it had just been an illusion on my part. And if he had saved me . . . Well, then perhaps he wasn’t as bad as the Morrigan had tried to paint him. And I really wanted to see him again, desperately, if only to hear his voice and simply bask in his presence.

  Taking a deep breath, I looked up and nodded once. My door must have been unlocked because he slid it open with a cool swoosh. Funny, I’d been so careful to keep it locked of late . . .

  Stepping out of the fog and into my room, Cade delicately pulled back his hood and began to take off his trench coat. He folded it and set it on the small futon against the far wall of my room and padded silently forward. He wore his customary jeans, t-shirt and boots, but there was something about his stance that was off. He was still walking around as if he had been running a marathon every day for the past several weeks.

  The lighting was bad in my room, the only brightness coming from the foggy dawn outside and the weak night light in my bathroom. As dark as it was it still couldn’t hide the signs of stress on Cade’s face. I almost gasped when I finally got a good look at him. He was incredibly pale, much more so than the last time I had seen him. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and his breathing even seemed troubled; shallow and uneven. If I didn’t know any better I would have said he’d just been released from a quarantined room after barely surviving a bad case of the Ebola virus.

  I cast aside my uncertainty. “Cade,” I whispered, reaching out a hand and forgetting about my ridiculous pajamas.

  He grimaced and avoided my touch. That’s right. It wasn’t as if he was my boyfriend. Who was I to offer comfort?

  “I’m so sorry Meghan,” he whispered, his voice raspy and full of remorse.

  I opened my mouth to argue with him but realized he had said nothing worth arguing with.

  He ran his hands over his gaunt face and through his hair. If he had been trying to wipe away his weariness, he had failed.

  “This is all my fault.” He glanced at my cast-encased leg.

  I self-consciously threw my comforter over it and blushed. When had my covers shifted off of me?

  “I should have explained more to you, much more, but I didn’t think . . .”

  He heaved a sigh of frustration and just barely kept himself from punching the wall. He glanced around my room, spotted my desk chair (strewn with all my sweatshirts and jackets) and dragged it over so that he could sit facing me. My wayward clothing fell off in an accusing manner as he pulled the chair in place. He dropped into it, the legs creaking under his weight.

  He rested his elbows on his knees and thrust his hands through his hair again, his face bent towards his lap. I got the impression he wanted to pull his hair out.

  An eternity seemed to pass and I had no idea what to say, to do, to think. Just a few short hours ago I was sure Cade wanted nothing to do with me, that he had betrayed me and had been using me all along. But his behavior now proved otherwise.

  Finally he spoke, though he still sat with his head in his hands.

  “You should never have crossed over into the Otherworld.”

  His statement was so quiet I almost didn’t hear him.

  “And because I was so arrogant and preoccupied with my own troubles, I never stopped to consider that she would figure it out. It’s my fault, all my fault.”

  I didn’t like the way this conversation was going; Cade talking as if I wasn’t sitting right in front of him and not explaining anything he was saying. He didn’t sound right, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders; as if Atlas had given Cade his burden and now he searched me out as someone to confide in. Only, Cade seemed to be confessing, not confiding.

  Eventually, he sat up and looked me straight in the eye. His eyes, usually always so dark green, looked impossibly pale now. Pale and empty, just like the rest of him. What had happened to make him look so sickly? A pang of fear shot through me. Yes, I may have been slightly angry with him and terribly confused, but that part of me, the part that created my sentimental emotions, reminded me that no matter what he said or did, I would still love him.

  “Meghan, do you know what a geis is?” he finally said.

  Uh, geis? “No,” I answered honestly. To my great relief he elaborated.

  “A geis is like a taboo, something that you must never do or else there will be dire consequences. It is prevalent throughout the old Irish folk legends, but it was really a safeguard instituted by the Faelorehn when we first crossed over into this world.”

  He paused and gave me his characteristic grin. Only, there was too much sadness behind it for me to really enjoy it.

  “It kept our kind in check, so that they would not take complete advantage of the human race. It gave us limits, boundaries you could say.”

  Okay, I think I got all that, but why was he telling me this now?

  He gave a huge sigh and when he spoke to me next, he kept his eyes lowered and his voice soft.

  “I have a geis, and so do you. Well, I should say we each had a geis.”

  I felt my mouth go dry. “Had?”

  Cade looked up at me then, his eyes haunted and his mouth grim. He nodded once, and then lowered his eyes again.

  “Wait, what do you mean, had?”

  “You had a geis, and because of me it has been broken.”

  “What?” I blurted, sitting up straighter. “What do you mean, my geis is broken? How can someone break their geis if they don’t even know what it is?”

  He grimaced again. “Believe me,” he grumbled, “it happens all the time in the Otherworld. Here on earth humanity might call it irony.”

  My head was spinning again, and not because of the crazy antibiotics and painkillers the doctors had subscribed for my injuries.

  “Cade,” I licked my lips and swallowed my fear, “please explain. What happens if you break your geis?”

  He nodded and took a deep breath. “I never thought you would actually come after me, but I should have seen it coming, especially after I learned who had spoken to you . . .”

  I cringed. Oh. So he knew that the Morrigan had paid me a visit? I merely nodded for him to go on, once again hoping my bruises hid my red face.

  He sat up fully and drew his shoulders back. He gasped and clutched his arm. Without thinking, I reached out to him again.

  “No,” he murmured, his eyes drifting shut, “I do not deserve your compassion.”

  More stung than anything, I let my arm drop, the hurt written all over my battered face.

  “When I tell you, you will understand,” Cade said as way of an explanation.

  “In those first few weeks after I discovered you, I came to suspect there was much more to you than I originally thought, Meghan Elam. When all evidence proved as such, I made it my own personal goal to find out as much about you as I could. I tracked down an acquaintance who was able to help me discover who your real parents are. He is the one who suggested you might be Tuatha De and Fomorian. But I have spoken to him since I
passed this information on to you, and if he is correct in his most recent discovery, then you are far more than a simple half Tuatha De, half Fomorian castaway stuck in the mortal world.”

  I felt a strange shock of fear and delight rush through me. Who was I then?

  Cade held up a hand. “It’s just speculation. We have no real proof yet, but the longer I consider it, the more firmly I believe it.”

  “Who am I Cade?” I had to know. After learning about the Faelorehn and discovering that I was one of the immortal beings of the Otherworld, I had been dying to know who I was, where I had come from. Who I belonged to.

  Cade smiled sadly. “I’m sorry Meghan, but I cannot tell you that. Maybe one day, but not now.”

  Severe disappointment hit me first, then anger. I crossed my arms and let my chin drop. Tears pricked at my eyes once again.

  “I deserve to know,” I whispered harshly.

  “You do,” Cade agreed. “But I cannot tell you. Not now.”

  He sounded pained, as if he wished to tell me more than anything. Then it dawned upon me.

  “Your geis,” I said simply. He couldn’t tell me because it would break his geis. But hadn’t he implied he had already broken it? Yes, when he had been talking about mine.

  Cade nodded. “It is more the consequences of my actions. I violated my own geis and now I must pay. One of my punishments includes keeping certain information to myself. I have no control over this.”

  I looked up at him. “How did you break your geis?” I didn’t really expect him to answer, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

  He took a long, deep breath, as if he were preparing to brace himself against something terribly unpleasant. “I violated my geis the night that you were attacked, but even much longer before that. What the Morrigan said to you that night was true. It was my job to find you and bring you back, though she didn’t know it would be you in particular I would find. It was sheer luck that I stumbled upon you. When she found out, she wanted you dead.” I gasped and he held up a hand. “Please Meghan, I must tell you this.”

  I nodded for him to go on, as shocking and frightening as it all was.

  “I stalled, tried to change her mind, did everything I could to get her focused on something else. But she wanted you and she wanted you eliminated. It is hard to kill a Faelorehn and only the gods and goddesses themselves cannot die, but I would not kill you Meghan. I could not.”

  He took a deep breath and seemed to become lost for a second. Then he started speaking again. “When she found out I would not follow through with her plans, she distracted me with an assignment in the Otherworld. I hate myself for that.”

  This last part he said so quietly I had to crane my neck to hear it.

  “That’s when she enticed you into our world, in order to destroy you. For, you see, in doing so your geis was broken.”

  Ah, so we were back to where we’d started.

  Cade glanced up at me, a look of determination on his face. “Meghan, I cannot tell you who you are but I can tell you about the geis that was placed upon you. Your parents knew that someday you would be hunted by the Morrigan, so they did what most of our kind do when their child is in danger because of who they are; they sent you to this world. Now your mother was smart. She not only hid you among the humans of this earth, but she placed a geis upon you. And as you now know, no geis comes without a price.”

  I nodded, the dread in my stomach starting to coagulate like cottage cheese.

  “You would remain safe always from the horrors of the Otherworld, if and only if you never crossed into the borders of Eile. So, because of my foolish reluctance to give you certain information, and because of the Morrigan’s cruel manipulation, you stepped into the Otherworld and broke your geis.”

  I didn’t know what to say, and if I was being completely honest, I was a bit confused.

  “I don’t understand,” I admitted. “What exactly is, was, my geis?”

  “Do you remember all the times you were chased or bothered by some Otherworldly creature?” Cade said.

  I nodded. How could I forget?

  “And did you ever notice how they always stopped short of harming you? As if an invisible shield of protection surrounded you?”

  I clenched my hands into fists and thought back. I remembered how the demon goat-man hadn’t been able to touch me, how the raven had slammed into not me, but some force field around me. Even the Cumorrig on that first night I had met Cade . . . Even they hadn’t really been able to quite reach me.

  Cade nodded solemnly. “You never would have come to harm. Your geis protected you in this world, but since you have crossed over to the Otherworld and stepped foot on Eile’s soil . . .”

  “I am no longer protected.” I looked up at Cade with wide eyes. “I am now free game.” And then something else struck me. “That is why the Morrigan didn’t kill me in the clearing. She knew she couldn’t hurt me here. She knew she had to get me into the Otherworld, to break my geis, to make me vulnerable. That is why she lured me there, not to help you, but-”

  I cut myself short when I noticed Cade start. He was giving me his full attention now, gazing at me with those intense eyes of his. “Help me?”

  I blushed. Ugh, why couldn’t I stop doing that? I hadn’t planned on telling him all that . . . I cleared my throat and sighed. This time I was the one to lower my eyes.

  “Um, yes. She said you needed my help and that I had some special power or gift that could save you.”

  Finally I looked up, only to find Cade looking at me in the most bizarre way, as if he were dumbfounded that I would actually enter an unknown world full of monsters in order to help him. Oh yeah, that did sound unbelievable.

  He reached out then and took my hand in his own. I was shocked at how cold it was and I almost jerked my own hand away.

  “Thank you. I cannot tell you how sorry I am Meghan. You should never have gone with her, but it means a great deal that you would make that sacrifice for me. I don’t expect your forgiveness, or your friendship after all this, but I do hope that you know I never meant to harm you.”

  I nodded, trying to fight the lump in my throat; trying to remember to breathe. Cade had always tried to help me. Despite my current anguish, I was warmed by that thought.

  I laughed after a while, though I felt little humor. “I bet your girlfriend is livid with you at the moment. That was you I saw the night she lured me into the Otherworld, right? It was you who fought off the Cumorrig . . . ?”

  But my question trailed off when I felt the bones in my hand begin to constrict.

  “Cade, you’re hurting me,” I said, feeling fear once again. Had I said the wrong thing?

  I glanced up at him and the look on his face was something between pure disbelief and . . . disgust?

  “Girlfriend?” he said harshly.

  “Yes, the Morrigan.”

  I felt foolish all over again but I managed to get my hand back. Why did I have to go and open my big mouth? Could it be that my brain had stopped working since I found out that I had some semi-important Faelorehn parents who had placed a strong geis on me? All after surviving a bizarre, near-death experience? I really needed a vacation away from being me.

  Cade was quiet for a long time. “The Morrigan is not my girlfriend. Did she tell you that?”

  I bit my cheek. No, she hadn’t. But she had implied it.

  “I just thought-”

  Cade sat up abruptly and looked at me, his gaze hard. I turned away, feeling sheepish. If I blushed any more today my face just might start bleeding. That would be fabulous. Would go well with my stitches and black eye.

  Eventually Cade snorted and I was glad to see he had lost that intensity about him. “She would want you to think that,” he said almost nonchalantly.

  “Oh,” was all I could say. “But, I saw you in the woods, and I just thought . . .”

  “You saw us in the woods?” />
  Oops times infinity.

  While I tried to melt away into oblivion, Cade became still, and then a look of realization spread over his face. “So that is why you never showed up for our meeting,” he said quietly. “Meghan,” he continued gently, “I can’t explain what you saw, like the information about your parents, it’s something I must keep to myself. But believe me, the Morrigan is most definitely not my girlfriend.”

  The silence grew between us once again and as I twisted the sheets in my hands, Cade stared down at his interlaced fingers. I could tell he wanted to tell me something more, like lightning charging the air before it struck. I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but . . . the Morrigan isn’t his girlfriend! I tried not to let the glee show on my face.

  Cade took a breath and released it slowly. “I must go soon Meghan. I violated my geis, and that is no easily forgivable thing.”

  It had been said so matter-of-factly that I wondered if he had practiced that exact line before he came to see me.

  I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. “Will I ever see you again?”

  “Perhaps. When I’ve done my penance.”

  Two days ago I would have bitterly wished him gone from my life for good, but after learning he had made such a sacrifice for me, I didn’t want to let him go.

  “I brought something for you.”

  Cade reached around and seemed to pull something out of his back pocket. It looked like a metal cord bent to form a C. The two ends were capped with what appeared to be two hounds’ heads in the ancient Celtic style. It looked familiar, like the strange metal choker I’d seen him wear before. I glanced up at him. Yes, almost exactly the same, though the intertwined cord on his was thicker than the one he was holding out to me. For a long time, all I could do was stare at the smaller choker, both transfixed and uncertain. The braided cord was a beautiful silver color and the snarling muzzles of the dogs featured finely etched teeth.

  Picking up my hand, Cade drew it towards him and placed the Celtic object in my palm, gently curling my fingers over it. The metal was cold, and so were Cade’s hands, but when he let his fingers linger on mine for several seconds, the place where his skin touched mine warmed.

  “What is it?” I queried silently.

  “It’s called a torque.” He gestured towards his own. “The ancient Celts wore these into battle. It will protect you while I’m gone.”

  That’s when it hit me. Again. I had broken my own geis, a geis that had acted like some sort of invisible monster repellent. Because of my little side trip into the Otherworld, that repellent was now as useful as hand lotion against the sun’s radiation. I didn’t even try to stop the tears this time.

  “Meghan,” Cade breathed quietly, moving his hand to rest against my cheek.

  I wanted to move in closer to him, but some deep, primal fear of rejection stopped me. He’s only comforting you Meghan because you are doomed.

  “Meghan, listen to me,” Cade continued, wiping my tears away with his thumb. “You are far more powerful than you know and you cannot forget what I have taught you.”

  I thought back to the archery lessons he had given me down in the swamp. A fresh wave of tears hit when I remembered that that was when I first realized I was falling for him.

  “And I’ll leave Fergus with you. He’ll let me know if you need me.”

  “Can’t I come with you?”

  Cade shook his head with a sad smile. “When you crossed over into the Otherworld, the fae power inside of you woke up, like a dormant seed that tastes the first rain of spring and the first warmth of the sun. It shines brightly Meghan, but remember what I told you? Your own power is like a battery run down.”

  I blinked in surprise. I felt no different than before, but then again I was still pretty sore from the attack.

  I furrowed my brow. “But wouldn’t it make sense for me to go with you then? So that I can ‘recharge’?”

  I sounded desperate and I hated that. But to be left here like a sitting duck for the demonic beasts of Eile to come find me? Surely I was better off with Cade, even if it meant enduring whatever it was he had to do to redeem himself.

  “No,” he said firmly. “I know it seems like the better option, but even if your fae power were to gain strength, you don’t yet know how to use it. I will come back and teach you how to use your gift Meghan, but until then you must stay here. The Cumorrig and their ilk may seem almost invincible to you here, but they are far more powerful in their natural world. Just remain vigilant and remember what I taught you.”

  I forced a smile. I was truly touched that he was worried for me, but I still didn’t want to think about how long he would be gone and how long I would have to fight off the Morrigan’s minions on my own. I took a deep breath and forced my tears to stop. It sucked. This whole situation sucked, but it was high time I stop feeling sorry for myself and take Cade’s words to heart. True, I hadn’t discovered the depths of my Faelorehn power yet, but if he said it was there then I would believe him.

  Smiling, I looked up at Cade. He dropped his hand and smiled back.

  “Thank you. For the torque.”

  I wasn’t sure how exactly to wear it, but that was soon resolved when Cade stood and placed it around my neck. The cool metal felt comfortingly familiar, the two hounds’ heads growling at each other across my throat.

  “It suits you,” Cade said with a smirk and a glint in his eyes.

  My stomach fluttered again.

  He tilted his head and glanced over his shoulder. Fergus stood at my door, panting and wagging his tail slightly.

  Cade’s shoulders slumped again and he looked back at me. “I must go.”

  I nodded, dropping my eyes again. I will not cry . . .

  He turned to leave and I reached out, grabbing his hand. “Cade?”

  His eyes were no longer so pale, but they held some emotion I couldn’t decipher, yet I knew his attention was fully on me. I should have told him then how I felt about him, that he meant a great deal to me. But I was afraid. Afraid of making myself even more vulnerable.

  I cleared my throat. “Be careful, please. And come back soon.”

  He seemed to pause, as if waiting for me to say more. I’m pretty sure that the slight disappointment I read on his face was just in my mind. Eventually he smiled and nodded ever so slightly.

  He took back his hand, made it into a fist and held it over his heart. Giving a half bow he said, “I promise.”

  And then he turned and silently slid open the door, disappearing into the pale mist with a great white hound trailing behind him.