Whisper of Love

by Melanie Shawn

  “For what exactly? You’re going to have to be a little bit more specific. Are you sorry for showing up at Patrick’s funeral shitfaced with a—and I mean this with the utmost respect for prostitutes—whore?”

  He thought about pointing out that while Sabrina’s occupation was an escort, she had actually been his girlfriend at the time and she wasn’t accompanying him in a professional capacity, but he didn’t figure that would make any difference.

  “Or are you apologizing for getting into a fight with the caterer at the reception?”

  That asshole had it coming. Kade overheard him talking to his friend about how funerals were the best place to pick up women and how he was planning on, “banging the dead dude’s hot sister in the—” Kade’s fist made contact with that douchebag’s face before he could finish his thought.

  “Or does this bout of contrition have something to do with you taking off after hearing that you—,” she poked him in his chest, her voice lowered to a barely audible level as she stepped closer to him, “—are just as responsible for the boys as I am? Which one of those specifically are you apologizing for? Or is it just your blatant disregard for people? Narcissistic self-centeredness? Pathetic immaturity? Lack of any consideration for anyone but yourself? Or just generally for being an asshole?”

  It was all of that, but as Kade looked into Ali’s amber gaze he knew what he was the most sorry about. “I’m sorry I hurt you. You and the boys are the last people in this world that I would ever want to—”

  “Stop.” She shook her head as if she didn’t believe him. He could see that her entire body was shaking. She took a step back and her heel hit the cabinet door that was open. “I don’t want to hear it. I can’t hear it. I can’t do this. I can’t…”

  His heart broke as her words trailed off and when he saw the bottom of her lids fill with unshed tears something snapped in him and overrode any common sense or self-protective impulses he had. Lifting his arms slowly, he started to approach her with the same caution he would a trapped animal.

  “I know I’m putting my life in great risk by doing this, but, I’m going to hug you right now.”

  With that, he moved slowly toward her. She didn’t yell or move away or even try to land a punch. She allowed him to close the distance between them and did the only thing that he’d wanted to do for the last year and a half. He pulled her into his arms and held her.

  At first it was like hugging a mannequin. Stiff and uncomfortable. But then something happened. With an exhale her body relaxed and she molded against him. He closed his eyes and for the first time in what felt like forever, he could breathe. He felt his shirt dampen with her tears as she silently cried in his arms.

  “Ali,” he spoke her name with raspy desperation.

  He closed his eyes and tightened his grip, wanting to show her that he was here now. That she wasn’t alone. That he was sorry. She might not want to hear him say any of those things but he could show her.

  Unfortunately, the sound of elephants stampeding caused her to push out of his embrace before he could communicate any of those unspoken sentiments.

  One second she was in his arms and the next she’d grabbed an onion out of the fridge and began cutting it. The entire thing happened so fast he wasn’t sure what was going on until KJ flew around the corner exclaiming, “You got us Assassin’s Creed! That’s so dope!”

  KJ froze when he saw them. His eyes bounced between them. Ali stood at the counter with her back to the doorway and she took in a shaky breath.

  “Aunt Ali?” Concern dripped from KJ’s voice as he stepped into the kitchen, with Ricky close behind him.

  “Hey bud,” she glanced over her shoulder as she lifted it and wiped her damp cheek on her gray T-shirt.

  KJ’s eyes cut to Kade and he saw a fierce protection in them. It was just a flash before he turned his attention back to his aunt.

  “Are you okay?”

  Ali lifted the onion that she was cutting over her head.

  “Oh.” He sighed and Kade could feel his palpable relief as he turned back to him. “She always cries when she cuts onions.”

  Kade nodded in understanding.

  The exchange brought up so many questions and emotions. How many times had she been crying and had to use the “onion” excuse? That was a well-executed plan. There was no way that she just came up with that on the fly.

  It was clear that she didn’t want the boys to see her upset, but had she had anyone’s shoulder to cry on? While he was doing what he needed to do, he’d convinced himself that the town would rally behind Ali during this difficult time, but had they?

  Whisper Lake was a tourist town that experienced an influx of people during summer and winter breaks, but off season it was a sleepy community that boasted less than five thousand residents.

  Kade and his father had moved to Whisper Lake when he was seven but the Walsh’s had been in town for generations. Patrick and Ali’s great-grandfather had built the house that they lived in and started Whisper Lake Rentals. The town might have its issues, but it always took care of its own.

  Plus, there was Jess. Ali’s best friend was one of the strongest people Kade knew. She’d had health battles that could’ve easily crushed her, but she never even let them slow her down. Surely, Jess had stepped up and made sure that Ali was okay…right?

  “Dinner will be ready soon, guys. Set the table and go wash up.” Allison’s voice didn’t even hold a hint of emotion. If he hadn’t been there to witness her sobbing in his arms just moments before, he wouldn’t have believed it had happened.

  “Do you want me to take your bag to your room?” Ricky asked.

  “Umm…”

  Since moving to LA when he was eighteen Kade had always stayed in the Walsh’s guest room when he was in town. So much so that the twins called it “his” room.

  But things were different now. He’d hoped that he’d still be welcome at the only place that had ever felt like home with the only people that had ever been family to him, but if Ali’s reaction to him showing up was any indication, then he had to face the very real possibility that he was persona non grata. “I’m not sure where I’m staying.”

  “What do you mean?” KJ’s tone was angry. “You always stay here.”

  “Are you not going to stay here because dad is…” Ricky didn’t finish his thought but it was obvious what he’d been about to say.

  “Of course he’s staying here,” Ali snapped before repeating, “Wash up and set the table.”

  As the boys took turns at the sink and then started grabbing plates and utensils, Kade heard Ali sniff and watched as she once again lifted her shoulder and wiped her face on her shirt.

  He hated seeing how much raw pain she was in, and he hated even more knowing that he’d contributed to it. He didn’t know how long it was going to take, or what he was going to have to do, but he’d make it up to her.

  Somehow. Someway.

  CHAPTER 3

  Ali stabbed her fork into the overcooked noodles and burnt meat as she bit her tongue so hard that she was scared she was going to bite it off before this dinner was over. It wasn’t easy to screw up a meal as simple as Hamburger Helper, but she’d managed to do just that thanks to the man sitting across from her.

  Actually, that was unfair. She was a terrible cook. Something she’d only become aware of since she’d been responsible for two growing humans. Before that, she’d lived on takeout.

  Still, Kade deserved some of the blame. If not for the meal, then for her general state of instability. She was holding on by a very thin thread and Kade was a pair of scissors to her sanity.

  Had no idea where he was staying my ass.

  You don’t show up on someone’s doorstep with a duffle bag not expecting to stay.

  Which, in all fairness, was how things had always been for them. But everything was different now. And that was his fault.

  She took a large drink of water to wash down the barely edible food and scarcely contained a
nimosity she was choking on as she listened to the boys happily tell Kade about school and life.

  Of course, she could barely get five words out of Ricky and everything KJ said to her was laced with arsenic but, hey, she’d only been the one that was there every day of their lives. Why should they talk to her?

  If anyone deserved full backstage passes to the twins’ life it was Kade, she thought sarcastically. The man that abandoned them and left her to pick up all the pieces.

  Kade had never understood that there are consequences to his actions. And why would he? Life always worked out for him. He did whatever he wanted to do, regardless of who it hurt or inconvenienced and things still just magically fell into place for him. Seas parted. Red carpets were rolled out. Standing ovations spontaneously occurred.

  Her blood was boiling but she tried not to let her nephews know how infuriating Kade’s mere presence was. She was doing her best not to show her anger on her face but she wouldn’t be surprised if steam were coming out of her ears like a cartoon character.

  If she were being honest with herself, she’d have to admit that the person she was most angry at wasn’t the one that had shown up unannounced, it was herself.

  In a moment of weakness, she’d allowed him to hug her. She’d known it was a mistake. Told herself to knee him in the balls when he got close enough. Instead, she’d folded like a cheap suit and melted like an ice cube on a hot tar roof.

  And the worst part of all…she’d enjoyed it. More than enjoyed it, she’d loved it. Needed it. Craved it. Being in Kade’s arms and feeling his solid body had been the best thing that had happened to her in a long time, and that infuriated her. He’d disappeared a year and a half ago, with no more than an email with information for a bank account that he’d set up for the boys and instructions to call “if she needed him.” And with one hug her body was ready to forgive him.

  That’s why Kade got away with everything. No one could resist his charm, his strength, or his undeniable charisma. He was a warm fire on a snowy night. He was ice cream on a hot day. He was the scratch for the unreachable itch. He had a magic way about him that made everything better.

  She’d always had an incurable crush on him, but during her teen years she’d managed to build up a tolerance to him. She’d erected an invisible shield that protected her from being devastated by his voodoo magnetism by always being on the offensive. She picked fights with him, called him out on his egotistical behavior, and never let him get away with anything. But now…now she didn’t know how much fight she had left in her. She was at her most vulnerable. How could she possibly guard herself against him? Especially since he was staying in her house.

  It’s fine, she told herself as she took another bite of mushy, burnt food.

  Kade never stayed in town long. About the time she finished college and returned home to Whisper Lake, Kade’s MMA career took off. Since then he’d breeze through just long enough to receive all the accolades and glory that came from being a hometown hero and then he’d be gone. Off living his fast-paced life of debauchery.

  All she had to do was stay strong for his pit stop and then he would be gone and she could go back to worrying about things that really mattered like keeping KJ out of jail or Ricky from shutting down completely.

  She’d just have to ignore him while he was here. She would only speak to him when the boys were around and then it would only be the bare minimum, and she’d do everything she could to avoid contact at all costs. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was all she had.

  “Aunt Ali didn’t want me to start taking jiu-jitsu. She tried to make me play soccer.” The horror in which KJ said the word soccer was so dramatic it made Ali’s jaw tense.

  It was clear that she was being cast as the villain. She’d made plenty of mistakes over the past eighteen months but encouraging KJ to play soccer wasn’t one of them. Soccer was a good sport. KJ acted like she’d signed him up for ballet and forced him to wear a tutu and pointe shoes.

  The image of her nephew dressed as a ballerina made her smile and also gave her an idea if he kept getting into trouble.

  Kade took a sip of his water and set the glass down. “I played soccer growing up. Is Coach Finley still around?”

  “Yeah. But now his son helps out a lot.” Ricky explained, never looking up from his book that was set beside his dinner plate.

  Ali’s eyes betrayed her plan and shot directly to Kade’s, warning him not to tell the story that she feared he was about to. The last thing that KJ needed was inspiration for more trouble. Unfortunately, the memory caused her lips to twitch as she bit back the laughter that threatened. She hoped that the intensity of her stare was enough to get her point across.

  The sexy, sinful grin that caused the corner of Kade’s eyes to crinkle sent a shockwave of desire rushing through her. “Timmy Finley. He still driving that Mustang?”

  “That Mustang” was at the bottom of Whisper Lake. The summer before their senior year Patrick and Kade convinced Timmy that if he drove it fast enough, he could make it across the top of the water. Ali remembered the phrase “jet propulsion” being tossed around.

  To this day she still couldn’t believe that her brother and Kade had actually got him to do it. They’d masterfully fed on his arrogance, cockiness, and ignorance and ended up sinking his brand new Mustang in the lake.

  If Timmy hadn’t been such douchebag as a teenager, Ali would feel bad about what the boys had done. But then again, they probably wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t been such a jerk.

  “He drives a minivan.” Ricky answered, his eyes still glued to his book.

  “A minivan, huh?” Kade repeated before thankfully dropping the subject. “Do you like training over at Legacy? I’ve heard good things about your coach.”

  “Yeah. He’s great!” KJ enthused. “You should come tonight and meet him! Meet everyone!”

  Ali’s fork stilled mid-bite at her nephew’s zealous invitation. Since he’d started taking classes she’d been asking, bargaining, and even begging to come and observe. It wasn’t like she’d stand out, since Kade’s rise to fame mixed martial arts were to Whisper Lake, Illinois like football was to Odessa, Texas. The place was packed and all the parents watched.

  From the first time she’d broached the subject of her sitting and watching like all of the other parents did, his answer had always been a hard no. At first, she’d thought that it was just because he was nervous because he was new to the martial arts, but he’d been training for over a year and he hadn’t wavered on his position. He didn’t want her there. It didn’t matter what tactic she took, what strategy she used, he held his ground.

  Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Ricky was staring at her, waiting to see what her reaction would be. She made a mental note that the chance of her having a full meltdown was what could get Ricky to stop reading.

  “What? What did I miss?” Kade asked, looking back and forth between Ricky and Ali.

  You mean besides the last year and a half? is what she wanted to say…instead she went with a simple, “Nothing.”

  The table was quiet and Ali lifted her glass and took a large swig of Dr. Pepper, closing her eyes as the carbonated goodness washed away the nasty taste of nephew betrayal and soggy and burnt Hamburger Helper.

  “Nothing?” Kade broached again.

  “KJ hasn’t let Aunt Ali go to any of his classes,” Ricky hung their dirty laundry out to dry.

  “It’s not a big deal,” Ali assured the table.

  Logically, she knew it wasn’t. Kade was not just their “uncle” he was Kade McKnight. Of course KJ would want him to go to the gym with him. But emotionally, it felt like another slap in the face. Kade had been off…doing whatever he’d been doing…and she’d been here, in the trenches, and he was the one who got all the glory.

  She’d been the one that had rushed KJ to the emergency room after she found him passed out drunk in the basement. She’d been the one that had been called to the school twenty-seven times fo
r a variety of behavior issues and had to beg the administration not to expel him. She’d been the one that had to go down to the police station because he’d been caught vandalizing Stone Castle with his friends.

  She’d been the one that had been there.

  But he was Kade McKnight.

  * * *

  Kade watched as Ali’s eye twitched and he sensed that she was dangerously close to her breaking point.

  As much as he’d love to go check out KJ’s class and meet KJ’s coach, the last thing Kade wanted to do was upset Ali. He was already skating on thin ice with her since he’d shown up out of the blue with his bag and somewhat manipulated his way into being able to stay here. Sure, it had been a dick move. But he knew that there was no way she’d willingly have let him come or invited him to stay.

  Still, Ricky bringing up Patrick hadn’t been part of the plan. He actually hadn’t thought he’d need the boys’ intervention at all. He’d figured all he’d have to do was show up on the doorstep and he’d get an obligatory invitation. He hadn’t been prepared for how different things were. How different Ali was.

  “See, it’s fine,” KJ insisted, pretending his aunt’s statement about it not being a big deal had been sincere.

  Ali’s lips pursed as her jaw ticked. He didn’t want to disappoint KJ, but he knew that he had to tread lightly.

  Hoping to smooth over the situation Kade suggested, “Why don’t we all go? And then after we can stop at Cherry On Top for ice cream.”

  “It’s closed.” Ricky was back to his book.

  “And they’re thirteen, not five,” Ali snarkily commented.

  “I’m thirty-two and I love ice-cream.”

  He could see that Ali wanted to make a crack about his maturity level but she refrained.

  “I love ice cream.” KJ shot Ali a look that Kade would’ve never dared to give any adult, much less someone he cared about at KJ’s age.

  He’d only been here an hour and already he could see how much the boys’ personalities had changed. Kade wondered how much of it had to do with Patrick’s death and how much of it was just being a teenager. Whatever the cause, it was clear they were having issues and he’d left Ali to deal with it all by herself.