Jana propped her elbow on the mattress and rested her chin on a balled fist. Moonlight played over Varian’s features; it glowed in his sapphire eyes; it shone on his ebony hair and on his white teeth. Her body came to life and a fiery flush teased over her from head to foot. His hair was tousled and that stubborn lock was out of place again, one of the clues which had originally caused her to suspect he wasn’t Ryker. It made him appear rakish and sexy, as did his expression. The concealing sheet did not come higher than his waist, baring his naked chest to her scrutiny. His tanned flesh was unmarred, soft and sleek over hard muscles and strong bones. She wanted to lay her head there and listen to his heart beat with vitality, life, and hopefully with love for her.
She did not speak as her gaze and hands communicated with him. Varian Saar possessed the most potent magnetism and enchanting power she had ever encountered, and sometimes it alarmed her to see and feel the enormous force of his irresistible magic. She felt tension and suspense laced with anticipation and desire mounting within her, within him, and between them.
Varian was alert and perceptive. Eagerness and pleasant surprise washed over his body and danced within his heart. Her gaze said she wanted him and was reaching out to him. She was like a tractor beam pulling him toward her; he couldn’t refuse to obey and didn’t want to refuse. He wanted to whisk her away in his ship of love and carry them to a safe port among the stars to live forever as one. As he gazed into her limpid eyes of blue, green, and violet, he did not battle the multicolored currents that were setting him adrift in a sector of wonder. He didn’t move or speak, just basked in the radiant glow of her admiring gaze that ignited his passions to a glorious height.
Varian sent his eyes on a voyage over her exquisite terrain. Her tawny hair flowed over the arm bracing her head, spilled over his right arm, and pooled on the bed. No features could be more perfectly sized or shaped to enhance her beauty and appeal. Her rosy lips were parted as if in invitation to him to capture and sample them. Her golden complexion was unblemished and was as soft as Mailiorcan silk. Her dark-blond hair was like gentle waves on Zamarra with sunlight sparkling off of them and brightening certain strands. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Yet, her beauty was more than physical; it was all parts of Jana Greyson combined.
The alien commander’s heart thudded with emotion and need. She caused him to lose sight and reality of all except her. He feared doing or saying the wrong thing at this delicate moment in their relationship. He wanted everything to be perfect for her and for them from this day onward. He wanted to win back her heart and her trust. He craved every part of this unique woman, far more than just her body. This could be her decision-making time, their destiny-sealing episode; and he didn’t want to hinder, destroy, or rush it.
Unable to keep from touching her any longer, Varian’s quivering fingers slipped into her shiny hair and pleasured themselves in its fullness. He watched her shut her eyes, lean her head into his palm, and nuzzle it. His hand eased behind her head and pulled it downward so his lips could brush kisses over her features, flawless flesh that was fragrant and beckoning. With leisure and delight, he trailed his lips over her forehead, brows, temples, eyes, nose, cheeks, and chin, then finished his exploration at her mouth where he fastened his to hers in a search for splendor.
At first, the kiss was slow and gentle. After she snuggled closer and clasped his face between her hands, the next ones became fast and deep and exposed intense longings in both of them. He groaned in urgent need for her and embraced her with possessiveness. She moaned in matching need. Their tongues touched, savored, and teased. Their hands joined their sensuous and heady quests as they delved into the magic which enthralled and united two hearts from two distant worlds. It was as if they were striving to strengthen a predestined bond. It was Varian and Jana in each other’s arms without another man’s image between them, together at last.
Jana rolled to her back as if on cue. Varian’s seeking mouth wandered down the satiny column of her neck. His teeth nibbled with gentleness at her collarbone. His tongue played in the hollow of her throat. His mouth suckled at her earlobe. The tickling sensation and her pulsing joy caused her to laugh and wiggle.
He whispered in a husky tone filled with deep emotion, “I love you, Jana. I want you to be mine, all mine, forever. I want your name to become Jana Saar as soon as possible. Every day this mission gets harder because it’s keeping us apart. Please don’t let me lose you because of it. Please trust me and stand by me, stand with me for all eternity. I swear on the stars I love you with all my heart. Eons can pass and that truth will never change.”
Varian had difficulty breathing and speaking in his aroused and worried state. He had trouble thinking, moving, holding still. His body felt heavy, yet light. He was uncertain of her decision, yet sure she loved him and wanted him. He was tense, yet relaxed and enlivened. He lifted his head to gaze into her glowing eyes. He wished she would reply in the affirmative about her own feelings. He knew she had just cause to doubt and distrust him. He knew he must be patient and loving to guide them back to where they had been that night on the Wanderlust before this ruse threatened to tear them apart. He prayed his skills and experiences were sufficient to accomplish his goal of winning peace and holding on to Jana. He wanted to restrain his cravings long enough to give her rapturous pleasure and immense satisfaction, long enough to show her his desire for her was far more than physical.
Varian’s lips captured hers as his hand slipped down her torso and covered one breast. As his tongue invaded her mouth and tasted its sweet response and minty flavor, he caressed the fleshy mound and thumbed the taut peak on it. He felt the bud grow harder and was amazed by the contrast in the rigidity of the point and the softness of its base. He trailed his mouth down her throat and closed it over the nipple, then hovered over one then the other, at first simply brushing them with his lips, then stopping to lavish moist attention there.
Jana felt his hands and mouth working blissful magic on her and dazing her wits. Her spinning senses lost awareness of all except him and their lovemaking. Her hands roamed his bare torso, sliding with leisure and delight over his back, shoulders, and arms. Her fingers dipped into the depression of his spine and tracked each connection until she could reach no further. She stroked his firm buttocks, glided up his hips, over his lean waist, across the ripples of his rib cage, and wandered between them to a furry chest.
Jana loved everything and anything he did to her: each caress, each kiss, each unspoken promise of what was yet to come. Her teeth nipped at his shoulders and neck. She waxed between tension and relaxation. Her breasts responded wildly to his lips and fingers as his tongue circled and flicked the rosy-brown flowers now in full bloom. The core of her womanhood tingled and pulsed with pleasure and with rising need. Her reactions encouraged and urged him to continue his conquest. Fiery blood raced through her, heating her to a feverish level and burning away all inhibitions and reservations for now. Every inch he touched was sensitive, susceptible, alive, pleading.
Varian had titillated her and restrained himself for as long as he could endure the blissful torment which surged through him. At last he slipped between her parted thighs, kissing her as he slid inside her silken heat.
Jana’s legs curled over his as she matched his rhythm and speed. Time passed as they labored with love, pleasure, and unsteady control.
“Be mine, Moonbeam, tonight and forever.”
As Jana moaned and squirmed, Varian knew she was reaching her climax. He was glad because he could hold back no longer. He continued to thrust and retreat until they were left limp in each other’s embrace. As sated and content as he, she nestled into his arms and they shared tender kisses.
Jana closed her eyes and imagined their child’s appearance. A boy would look like his father, as she’d been told was the genetic pattern in this alien world. But what about a female? Would a girl also favor Varian? Would her Earthling genes be totally dominated by his potent ones? A baby �
� Their baby … How would he react when she told him? She couldn’t do so before their trip, and it was mostly for the reasons she had told Tris, Andrea, and Martella. She did have to safeguard their lives, which a lack of concentration and worry could endanger. If he was told and he refused to imperil her and his baby with a trip to Maal’s, the charade could require longer to complete, time she—no, the baby—didn’t have, not without causing its paternity to be questioned. But the main reason for keeping her secret was to control the timing of her demand; it had to be issued when it could be carried out by him. She also wanted and needed a short span with Varian as himself. Only then could she determine if she could trust him and a future together was possible. Until such time, she could not confess she still loved and wanted him. Her bold demand, it would come as soon as they returned from Maal’s.
The following morning while their things were being loaded on the shuttle, Andrea couldn’t stop talking about Varian. “Wow, Jana, he’s magnificent! No god could have designed him better. He’s so nice, too, Jana, utterly charming. I see why you were dazzled by him.”
“But is he trustworthy, my friend? So far, I haven’t had good luck with men, so maybe I’m a bad judge of character. Look what happened with Alex and Ryker, and now with Varian. Maybe using women and being dishonest with them are flaws men can’t help.”
“Varian Saar doesn’t strike me as having many flaws or weaknesses, but I don’t know him as well as you do.”
“I’m not sure I know him, either.”
“How did it go last night between you two?”
“Fine. But please pretend you don’t know he stayed with me. You didn’t drop any hints to Nigel, did you?”
The redhead giggled. “Of course not, Bootsy.”
“My heavens, Andrea, it’s been a long time since I heard that nickname. I thought I had outgrown it when I stopped clopping around in Father’s cowboy boots.”
“You filled his shoes well before you were brought here to live. In fact, there aren’t any shoes too big for you to fill.”
“Not even the ones I’m trying on for size in this alien world, Miss Scribbles?”
They shared laughter as they chatted about how Andrea received that nickname in seventh grade for getting caught numerous times “scribbling” and passing notes to Jana until they learned a more effective method.
“Did anything special happen last night? Don’t keep me in suspense.”
“I didn’t break down and tell him about the baby, if that’s your meaning.” Jana explained her plan.
Andrea, who was convinced they loved each other and could be happy, wanted to help patch things up between the couple. She and Nigel had decided last night to do all they could to keep them from being too stubborn to see the truth and to work out both of their differences. “Isn’t an ultimatum like that dangerous, Jana? He loves you; Nigel said so, you said so, he said so, and I believe it’s true. I like him, Jana, really like him. Don’t say again that sometimes love isn’t enough; if it’s strong and true, love is enough because it helps you work out any problems.”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up again, then suffer when those beautiful dreams fail to materialize. You’re being as rosy-eyed as I was when I met Varian. Just loving and wanting someone doesn’t make it the best thing for me. I have to make certain he loves me enough, loves me in the right way. He must prove his feelings and vows this time. I have to be sure I can trust him; if I delude myself, it will cause worse problems later.”
Andrea couldn’t forget or ignore what Nigel had told her about all the grim situations Jana had endured. “Varian’s explained everything to you, and you admit he had no choice. You know what was at stake. Why do you continue to feel as you do, Jana? I don’t understand.”
“His goals are good, Andrea, but not how he carried them out.”
“He couldn’t tell you or include you at first.” Andrea attempted to justify Varian’s actions.
“He says so, but I’m not convinced there wasn’t another way to do it.”
“True love comes around so rarely, Jana. Are you just going to throw it away because he made a mistake?”
Jana surmised that Andrea was being influenced by Nigel who was Varian’s naturally biased best friend. Yet, it was obvious Andrea believed what she was saying and only wanted the best for Jana and the baby. “I’ve told you my decision; the rest is up to Varian.”
“You want to punish him before you agree to take him back?”
“No, just to be convinced I can trust him and that he loves me as much as his duty and people. Is that so wrong?”
“Don’t act impulsively, Jana, please. You might regret it. Varian Saar doesn’t strike me as a man who can be threatened or tricked.”
“I’m not doing either one. I won’t be rash or reckless, my worrywart friend, just …”
“Jana, Jana, this crazy plan worries me.”
Jana patted her friend’s shoulder and smiled. “Once and for all, I’ll learn the truth about his feelings. At that point, it should be simple to prove himself. If he fails, so be it and I’m out of his life for good.”
“Where would you go? What would you do?”
“I’d go to my father-in-law’s on Tartarus and be a scientist and mother. I’d raise the next heir to the Androasian Empire and live in peace for a change.”
“But it isn’t Ryker Triloni’s child, isn’t Kadim Maal’s grandchild.”
“If Varian waits too long to lay claim to me and his child, it will be viewed and accepted as Ryker’s by everyone who doesn’t know about this charade. Since it can’t ever be exposed, the truth will be buried with Ryker. Besides, I’ve told you that children here resemble their fathers, not mothers. Since Ryker was Varian’s near twin and they both look like Galen, my baby will also look like a Saar, like his father and half-uncle. Don’t you see why that makes it even more imperative to rush? As far as everyone knows and will ever know, I’ve been living with Ryker as his wife. Who would believe this isn’t his child? My hands are tied, Andrea. So many times Varian has said he had no choice in his actions. Well, this time he does, and so do I. But there is a time limit on him making it. I’m not to blame for getting pregnant at the wrong moment; he is. If he doesn’t solve this complication, it will be the last one he makes in my life.”
As they eased into orbit around Tartarus in the Androasian Empire, Varian confided in Nigel. “I don’t know what, but something is up with Jana. She’s been strange and distant ever since we left Darkar.”
“Relax, Varian,” he attempted to comfort him. “It’s natural for her to be nervous. Think about what she’s gone through, first with your impersonation of Ryker, then her demanding confrontations with Faeroe and Taemin. Also, she’s been locked in her quarters to avoid her old friends because she’s here as Ryker’s widow while traveling with her ex-lover. Give her time to settle down. I’m sure things will be fine. So is Andrea. She likes you and she’s working hard on Jana to influence her in your favor.”
“I wish I were as confident as you and Andrea are about us, and thanks for the help; it appears I’m in desperate need of all I can get.”
The two men stopped talking when Jana arrived in the shuttle bay. Nigel smiled and greeted her, and she did the same.
“The casket is loaded and everything’s ready,” Varian said. “Let’s get this task finished so you can get home. After all you’ve endured, I’m sure you need to rest. Any questions or worries?”
Jana took a deep breath and released it. “None that words can change at this time. Let’s do it, Commander Saar. Kadim Maal is waiting for us.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jana was relieved when Effecta Maal was not hostile or hateful to Varian as, in a gentle tone, the Star Fleet officer explained the circumstances surrounding Ryker’s “death.” The silver-haired man was somber and near dazed with grief. Jana empathized with his pain, as she had lost her own family and understood what he must be feeling. She did not try to withdraw her hand from his as
he gripped it for comfort.
After what “Ryker” had told him about Taemin, Maal was open about his suspicions of the Pyropean prince. “If he is guilty, you must punish him for your brother’s death. It is your right and place to do so, as I am too old to seek the truth and subsequent vengeance. Promise me you will do this, Varian, and I shall grant you the treaty the Alliance seeks.”
“I swear it upon my life and honor, sir, not because of the treaty but because he was my brother. If any man is to blame for Ryker’s death, he will suffer.” And I have, more than you can imagine.
“My grandson was right when he said both of you had changed. You are responsible for saving his and Jana’s lives when Taemin closed his treacherous trap around them. I shall remember that deed always. We shall never be enemies again. The past is dead, with the cherished flame of my soul, as he desired it and spoke it to me on his last visit and the last time I heard his voice the day of his death. After Taemin and Jurad learn we have made peace, they will offer no threat to the Alliance who befriended my grandson. He will become more than willing to sign a treaty, too. My grandson cut Pyropea off from Trilabs; do not forget that, my sweet Jana.”
“I will remember, sir, and honor my husband’s wishes.” She told him about Taemin’s attempted visit and threats, and how she had thwarted him with the aid of Kagan, the head of her security. She told him how kind Avatar Faeroe had been, and the others, as well. “Ryker was widely respected and admired, sir, here and in Maffei. Many have sent their condolences. I brought them for you to read and keep.”
The older man asked Jana to stay for a visit after Varian departed.
She hoped her excuse sounded plausible. “Ryker would want me to take care of Darkar, sir, at this critical moment. So many people depend on his products and weapons, and he was careful with his great responsibilities. Too, there are several research projects in progress and at crucial stages. He taught me everything about his work and customers. I can and will carry on his important work and make certain no one forgets it or him. He has left a great legacy behind, one I must continue in his name. I’ll visit again as soon as things are settled there.”
Stardust And Shadows Page 43
