One Day to Find a Husband
Page 13
“You’re welcome.” His gaze met hers, and for a long heartbeat, it held. Then Heidi pressed against the cage, wanting more attention, and Finn returned to the dog. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you?”
If anyone had asked her if she had thought Finn “the Hawk” McKenna would be a dog lover who would be easily brought to his knees by a mutt in an animal shelter, she would have told them they were crazy. But in the last few days, she had seen sides of Finn she suspected few people did. And she liked what she saw. More every minute. “You really like dogs, huh?”
“Yeah.” He turned to her and grinned. “Don’t tell Billy Daniels, but sometimes I snuck his dog a little of my leftover lunch, too.”
She laughed and got to her feet again. “My, my, Finn. You do surprise me.”
He rose and cast her a curious glance. “I do? I don’t think I surprise anyone.”
“You’re not what I thought. Or expected.”
He took a step closer, and the noise in the room seemed to drop. The dogs’ barking became background sounds. “What did you expect?”
“Well, everything I heard about you said you were business only. The magazine articles, the way the other architects talked about you.” What her father had said about him. Right now, she had trouble remembering any of those words. “Everything you said, too.”
“My reputation precedes me,” he said, his voice droll.
“But when I first met you, well, not when I first met you, but that day in the office, you were like that. A cool cucumber, as my grandmother would say. You didn’t seem like the kind of man who would have dramatic outbursts or irrational thoughts. And from what I’ve seen, you’re smart and good at your job.”
He snorted. “That sounds boring.”
“And then I see this other side of you,” she went on. “This guy who makes corny jokes about Cinderella, and eats at fast food restaurants so he doesn’t have to stay in an empty house, and has a soft spot in his heart for a dog he never even owned. A guy who takes a girl to an animal shelter instead of a pet store.”
“I just thought, there are tons of unwanted dogs and why buy a puppy when…” He shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with the praise. “Well, it just made more sense.”
“It did.” She smiled, and leaned ever so slightly toward him. She wanted more of this side of Finn, more of him in general. Every moment she spent with him showed her another dimension of this man who was her husband, yet at the same time, still a stranger. A man who had been wounded by his childhood, and yet, seemed to still believe in happy endings.
The Finn she saw today—the one who pitied a dog in a shelter and realized how like Jiao’s life the dog’s was—that Finn was the man she was…
Well, starting to fall for. And fall hard. Damn. Every time she tried not to—
She did.
The thought caused a slight panic in her chest, but that disappeared, chased by a sweet lightness. Could she really be falling in love with her husband?
“You’re a good man.” Ellie smiled.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice gruff, dark. He reached up a hand and cupped her jaw, and Ellie thought she might melt right then and there. God, she loved it when he touched her like that. She saw something in his eyes—something that said maybe this wasn’t just a contract to him, either, despite what he’d said.
Ever so slowly, Finn closed the gap between them, winnowing it to two inches, one. His breath dusted across her lips and his sky-blue eyes held hers. Anticipation fluttered in her chest. The dogs, apparently realizing no one was interested in them right now, quieted. But Ellie’s heart slammed in her chest, so fast and loud she was sure Finn could hear it.
“You are surprising, too,” he said. “In a hundred ways.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Then he kissed her.
He took his time, his lips drifting across hers at first, tasting and tempting. Then his hand came up to cup the back of her head, tangle in her hair, and with a groan, his kiss deepened. His mouth captured hers, made it one with his, and Ellie curved into him. Finn’s body pressed to hers, tight and hard, and their kiss turned breathless, hurried. Each of them tasting the other with little nips, shifting position left, right, his tongue plundering her mouth and sending a dizzying spiral of desire through her body.
This was what she had dreamed of in those nights since Finn had slipped a wedding ring on her finger. What she’d had a taste of at the courthouse, and then later on her balcony. This was what she had imagined, if the two of them had a real marriage. The heat nearly exploded inside of Ellie and she knew that if they hadn’t been standing in the middle of an animal shelter, they would have been doing a lot more than just kissing.
Behind them, the dogs began barking again and Ellie drew back, the spell broken. “I can’t do this.”
“Why not?”
She looked into his eyes and saw the same hesitation as before. She wondered if it was true emotional fear on his part, or if her father’s cautions were right. Or because she knew she was risking her heart, and he was keeping his to himself. When would she learn? “Because every time I kiss you, I only get half of you, Finn. You keep the rest of yourself locked away.”
“I’m not—”
“You are. You told me yourself that you watched your parents suffer through a miserable marriage. I know that has you scared, because I saw the same thing when I was a kid, and I’ve done my best to avoid getting close to anyone ever since. But you know what I learned in China? What Sun taught me just before she died? That it’s okay to love with your whole heart. It’s okay to take that risk, even if it costs you everything. Because in the end, the people you love will be better off for having you in their hearts.”
He shook his head and turned away. “Sometimes all you end up with is a broken heart.”
“Just like in business, huh? Sometimes you win, and everything works out perfectly. And sometimes you lose and take a dent to the bottom line. But you can’t do
either if you don’t take a risk.”
She waited a long time for Finn to respond. But he didn’t.
Because the truth hurt or because he was keeping his distance, and stringing her along just to grab the business out from under her later? The part of her that had seen Finn take pity on a shelter dog wanted to believe otherwise, but the part that had read the news reports and heard about how he nearly married another competitor’s daughter, wondered.
Was she letting herself get blinded by her emotions? The very thing she’d vowed not to do?
Behind them, the door opened and the woman from the shelter stepped inside. “Did you two find anything you wanted?”
Ellie glanced back at Finn one more time. His features had returned to stoic and cold. The man she thought she’d seen earlier today was gone. If he’d ever really been there at all.
“No,” she said. “There’s nothing I want here. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
FINN drove back to his office alone. By the time he reached the sidewalk—after being detoured by Walter, who stopped a second time to thank Finn for his donation—Ellie was gone. She’d either walked or taken a cab. It didn’t matter. The message was clear.
She was done with him.
He should be glad. For a minute there in the shelter he had lost his head, and let his hormones dictate his decisions. He’d kissed her, allowed himself to start falling for her, and stop thinking about the smart decision. The one that would leave everyone intact at the end.
Ellie had accused him of being afraid of repeating his parent’s mistakes. Hell, yes, he was afraid of that, and afraid of doing it with Jiao caught in the crossfire. The already orphaned girl had been through enough. She didn’t need to watch the marriage of her new parents fall apart.
He thought of the orphaned
dogs he’d seen earlier. They were all so sad, yet at the same time so hopeful. Their tails wagged, tongues lolled and their barks said they were sure these two visitors would be their new saviors.
All it required was saying yes, and opening his heart and home.
Then why had he never done that? Never adopted a dog. Never settled down, never had children. Ellie was right. He’d taken risks in everything but his personal life. And where had it gotten him?
He stepped into his office and looked at the towering stacks of work sitting in his IN box. Everything was in its place, labeled and ordered, easy to organize and dispense. This was where he felt comfortable, because here he could control the outcome.
With a marriage or with a child…there were so many opportunities to make a mess of things. Finn excelled here, in the office, and even that had turned into a disaster in the past year. What made him think he could handle a dog, or a child? Heck, except for that goldfish, he’d never even had a pet.
And even the goldfish had gone belly up within a week.
He dropped into his desk chair, and let out a sigh. He dove into the piles of papers stacked beside him and spent a solid two hours whittling it down from a mountain to a molehill but work didn’t offer the usual solace. If anything, the need to be in the office grated on him, and made him feel like he was missing out on something important.
“Hey, Finn, how’s married life?”
Finn looked up and grinned at Charlie, then waved his friend into his office. “What are you doing here?”
“Had some business to take care of in Boston.” He thumbed toward the street. “Remember my aunt Julia, who lived here?” Finn nodded. “Well, she died last month, and her will’s just been a mess over at probate.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s no big deal. It gives me a chance to come back and see some of the guys from the old neighborhood.” Charlie settled into one of the visitor’s chairs and propped his ankle on his knee. “I miss having you guys around. The four of us got into a lot of trouble.”
Finn chuckled. The McKenna boys and Charlie had been the neighborhood wild children, whooping it up until their mothers called them in for supper. “We did indeed.”
“Then we all grew up and got serious. Well, all of us except for Riley.”
“I don’t think Riley’s ever going to grow up. He’s the perpetual kid.”
“Sometimes that’s good for us.” Charlie gestured toward Finn. “Besides, who are you to talk? You eloped, my man. If I didn’t marry you myself, I never would have believed it.”
Finn waved it off. “Temporary moment of insanity.”
“I met your wife, remember? I gotta say, I think that was the smartest decision you ever made in your life.”
“Smartest, huh?” It hadn’t felt so smart lately. He had married a woman, thinking he could keep it all about business. Considering how many times he’d kissed her, he’d done a bad job of business only. It was as if he was drawn to the very thing that scared him the most—an unpredictable, heady relationship fueled by passion, not common-sense conclusions.
“She’s perfect for you, Finn. Intelligent, beautiful, funny. And willing to marry you.”
“Hey. I’m not that bad.”
“No, not that bad.” Charlie grinned. “But, I’ve known you all your life and you can be a bit…difficult.”
“Difficult?”
“Yeah, as in a mule in the mud. In business, that’s served you well. You put your head down, plow through any obstacles and don’t take no for an answer. And look where you are today.” Charlie waved at Finn’s office. “Up on top of the world, overlooking the city of Boston. Doesn’t get much better than that.”
“I don’t know. I had a bad year last year.”
Charlie waved it off. “Lucy did her damage, yes, but in the end, it toughened you up, made you a better businessman. If you never had any failures to knock you down, you’d never be able to appreciate the successes that bring you back up.”
Finn took in the city below him, then thought of the company he had built from the ground up. Sure, he’d suffered a pretty bad setback last year, but overall, he was still in business and still doing what he loved. “True.”
“And really, you didn’t fail. You just met someone who is exactly like you.” Charlie chuckled. “A Hawkette.”
Finn thought about that for a second. Was that where all his careful planning, detailed lists and sensible dating got him? He’d tried so hard to find someone who was similar to him in personality, career and goals, and it had backfired. He’d tried to mitigate the risk by being smart—
And in the process, made an even bigger mistake. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yep. That’s why I think this Ellie is good for you. She’s sunshine to your storm clouds.”
“I’m not that bad. Am I?”
“Nah. But you could use someone who rounds you out, Finn. You’ve always been a practical guy and when you’re running a business based on straight lines, that’s important. But when it comes to the heart, man—” Charlie thumped his own chest for emphasis “—you gotta follow the curves.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Hey, I’m a judge. I’m always right.” Charlie grinned.
“So, how are the kids?” Finn asked, just to change the subject.
“Perfect, as always.” Charlie beamed. “But then again, I’m a little biased.”
Finn could see the joy and pride in Charlie’s face. He’d known Charlie since elementary school, and had never seen his friend this happy. He seemed to have it all—a great career, a wonderful wife, incredible kids. He and Finn had started in the same place, grown up side by side, followed similar paths—college, then starting at the bottom and working their way up—that it made Finn wonder if maybe there was some secret to having it all that he was missing. “Don’t you worry about messing it up?”
“Of course I do. Being a husband and a father is the biggest risk of all because you have other people’s lives in your hands. But in the end, it’s so worth it.” Charlie had pulled out his wallet and was flipping proudly through the pictures of his kids. “This is what it’s all about, my friend. Sophie just lost her two front teeth, and she goes around whistling everywhere. Max signed up for T-ball…”
Finn wasn’t listening. He was looking at the clear love in Charlie’s face, the determination to do right by his kids, and realized where he had seen that look before.
On Ellie’s face. When she talked about Jiao.
She was scared to take the risk of being Jiao’s parent, but she was doing it anyway. Clearly Ellie loved this little girl. Finn had no doubt she’d be a good mother. For a second, he envied her that love, that clear conviction that she could raise a child she barely knew. He was sure she would be a terrific mother. Any child would be blessed to be raised by a woman as amazing as Ellie Winston.
As Finn watched one of his oldest and best friends talk about the wondrous joy a family could bring to a man’s life, he felt a stab of envy. Ellie was his temporary wife, and after all this was over, there would be no pictures or bragging or stories to tell.
He glanced at the clock and realized there was one thing he could do before they got divorced. He could help her bring that child home.
And make sure Ellie’s floors would no longer echo.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELLIE had spent the better part of Friday morning scrubbing her house from top to bottom. Cleaning helped distract her, helped take her mind off the worries about work, the home visit today, and the worries about Jiao. She had called the orphanage earlier and been assured that Jiao was fine and healthy, but that didn’t help set Ellie’s mind at ease when it came to her daughter’s future. Every hour that ticked by with Jiao stuck in adoption limbo was undoubtedly hurting her emotionally.
Well, it didn’t matter what she’d thought. Finn had made it clear over and over again that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with her. There was the home visit today, and then the hospital plans were due to be delivered to the client on Tuesday, and after that, she was sure their alliance would end. Probably a good thing, she told herself.
Tears rushed to her eyes but she willed them back. Finn was the one losing out, not her. She told herself that a hundred times as she scoured the shower walls. But the tears still lingered.
A little after ten-thirty that morning, her doorbell rang. Ellie peeled off her rubber gloves, dropped them into a nearby bucket, then ran downstairs to answer it. Finn stood on the other side.
“You came.”
“I promised you I would.” He was wearing a light blue golf shirt and a pair of jeans that outlined his lean, defined legs. The pale color of his shirt offset his eyes, and made them seem even bluer. Her body reacted the same as always to seeing him—a nervous, heated rush pumping in her veins—even as her head yelled caution.
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.” He gave her a grin, that lopsided smile that made her heart flip. “I’m here to help you get ready. Not that I’m a whole lot of help in the home department, but I figured you’d be a wreck, and need a hand getting things done.”
He could have been reading her mind. Joy bubbled inside her, but she held it back, still cautious and reserved. This was everything she’d ever wanted. Finn would be a temporary husband, just as she’d planned, he’d do the home visit with her, then go back to living his own life, leaving her and Jiao alone, to form their own little family of two. She should have been happy.
Then why did she feel so…empty? Focus on Jiao. On bringing her home. Not on what will never be with Finn.