For Nicky
Page 1
FOR NICKY
A.D. Ellis
www.facebook.com/adellisauthor
Copyright © 2014
Cover, spine, back by
Selfpubbookcovers.com
SelfPubBookCovers.com/Lori
Introduction
LOVE. There are many facets of this emotion. Love of family. Love of friends. Love of self. Love of others. Romantic love.
This is a love story through and through. It’s a story of a brother’s unfailing love for his twin. It’s a story of a girl’s fight to get her sister back and find herself at the same time. It’s a story of learning to let go of anger, standing up for yourself, and being kind to others. It’s a story of love between a man and a woman despite the twists and turns that come their way.
This story came about after a year or so of watching a brother take care of his special-needs sibling during church service. I wondered about that brother’s feelings toward his sibling. Love was obvious. Protector was clear. Burdened? It didn’t appear that way. Guilty? Possibly. Nicky doesn’t have the severe special needs that this sibling had, but Nicky faces his own challenges in life.
I also wrote this story because I despise bullying and the r-word. I wanted to share with my readers how painful and damaging both bullying and the word retard/retarded can be. I want my readers to finish this book with a better understanding of how words and actions can hurt. Or, maybe, my readers will finish this book with affirmation that the words and actions used against them did hurt and they have the right to feel upset by them.
I wrote this story for many reasons. My main reason is to share the story with my readers. I want nothing more than for you to enjoy this story and feel a range of emotions from start to finish. If that happens, I can say I accomplished what I set out to do.
Happy Reading!
A.D. Ellis
Reviews for A.D. Ellis’ Debut Novel For Nicky
“A.D. Ellis takes you on a journey of emotions with her debut novel. A beautiful and captivating story of love and all the twists and turns it brings when trying to protect the ones who matter most.” –Jodie D.
“Author A.D. Ellis authors a beautifully written love story with an unexpected outcome that readers will love.”—Jen E.
“Author A.D. Ellis debuts a unique and sexy love story about love, trust, and second chances.”—J. Lee
“In her debut novel, A.D. Ellis writes a modern day love story with a surprising turn of events that will capture readers’ hearts.”—Danielle M.
"A.D. Ellis blesses us with a contemporary love story that touches the heart and brings to light how bullying affects not only the target, but also the loved ones around them." – Jen M.
“A.D. Ellis brings a contemporary romance to life in a story that compels you to keep reading! The family dynamics, the twists you don’t expect and the unfolding love story make this a great read!”—Dona A.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my husband and children who put up with me spending hours upon hours at the computer with headphones in, music blaring. I know they got tired of it, but they never complained. Thank you to my children for being my reasons to take breaks so I could fix your suppers, dry your hair, and read books to you. Thank you to my husband, who doesn’t enjoy reading, for listening to me talk for hours about all that I was learning in the world of independent authors. I love all three of you more than words can explain.
Love,
Me
Table of Contents
FOR NICKY
Introduction
Reviews for A.D. Ellis’ Debut Novel For Nicky
Dedication
Table of Contents
For Nicky
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
EPILOUGUE
How to Connect with A.D. Ellis
About the Author
Author’s Notes
The For Nicky Playlist
CINDY MORGAN’S BANANA CAKE RECIPE
Coming Soon from A.D. Ellis
Please Leave a review
Acknowledgments and Thanks
For Nicky
Prologue
I was 6 years old and I was sitting in my usual spot in the principal’s office at Torey Hope Elementary School in Torey Hope, Illinois. My principal, Mr. Jones, had given me his usual speech about being disappointed in my behavior. He shook his head and gave a heavy sigh as he made yet another call to my parents. Now, as we waited, he was continuing to work on some paperwork. The paperwork probably had to do with my behavior. My student file was likely already thicker than most of the older students and I was only in first grade. Mr. Jones wasn’t an unfair man; I knew that the boy I’d gotten in a fight with was getting punished too. That only brought me a tiny bit of satisfaction.
I was sitting in the big red leather chair. I always sat in the big red leather chair. The big red leather chair was sort of “mine” and I was here enough to have the right to claim it. My parents were on their way for yet another meeting about my behavior. I had gotten in trouble for fighting. Again. My lip got busted in the process, but the kid who had been making fun of my brother got what was coming to him. I hated when people were mean to my brother or when they thought he was so stupid he couldn’t understand that they were making fun of him. Today, and a lot of days, it was ove
r one simple word. “Retard.” God, how I hate that word. I hate the way it sounds, the way it is used to degrade, the way it hurts. Mostly, I hate the way my brother flinches when he hears that word.
My mom and dad understood where my anger was coming from, but they didn’t condone the fighting. They knew I was just sticking up for my brother in the only way I knew how, but they weren’t ok with it. I knew there would be consequences at home and I was ok with that. I would take the punishment a thousand times over, and, if it means getting in trouble every day or being labeled a bully for dealing with the kids who hurt my brother, then I’ll do it. This wasn’t for me. This was for him. For my brother. For Nicky.
Chapter 1
NATE
8 years-old
“Nathaniel, this is the second fight you’ve been in this week and it’s only Wednesday. I know you want to protect Nicky from the bullies, but you’ve got to stop fighting others. You want to protect Nick, but you’re just as bad as the people who make fun of him.” My mom looked weary as she and my dad gave me the same old speech. At this rate, I’d never see a video game again for as long as I lived. I hadn’t watched TV shows I wanted to watch in over a year. My room had basically nothing but a bed. It didn’t matter, I wouldn’t stop threatening and fighting the kids who made fun of my brother until they learned their lesson. I didn’t care how much trouble I got in. It was for Nicky.
Nate Present day
I was about five years old the first time I realized that Nicky and I were different. There wasn’t one defining instance that brought me to this realization; it was more a series of instances that led me to become aware that Nicky was not only not like me, but he was also not like other kids. My parents had always treated us the same, never favoring one over the other or coddling Nicky more than me.
Nicky and I are twins. Identical twins. We were born in November and we will be turning 25 on our next birthday. I was born 2 minutes before Nicky. Nicky’s full name is Nicholas Edward Morgan. But he’s always been Nick or Nicky, especially with close friends and family. My given name is Nathaniel Joseph Morgan, but I usually go by Nathan or Nate.
When I started noticing that Nick and I were different, I asked my mom about it. She explained that Nick had been deprived of oxygen due to his umbilical cord being twisted. Since birth, he’s always been smaller than me. He struggles with speech sometimes. He has trouble thinking of certain words he wants to use. However, when he’s excited, he talks a mile a minute. He moves a bit more slowly and awkwardly than most; he has a slight limp. But, these challenges have never slowed Nick down. Learning was always harder for him, but he would eventually grasp most things; it just took him longer. He’s always done the same things I’ve done. We played all sorts of sports while growing up. I was always better than Nicky; I was usually better than most of the other players too. Even though I had him on the skill front, Nick always had more heart and gumption than me. He always had to fight that much harder to reach goals, and he worked hard, never giving up.
Once I noticed Nicky was different than me, I also started noticing that a lot of people treated him differently. Kids and adults both would talk to him like he was dumb or they assumed he couldn’t do things so they didn’t even give him a chance. It was around this time that I started sticking up for him and being extra protective. He was my “little brother” and I wouldn’t stand for anyone treating him poorly just because he was different. The worst was when kids made fun of him. They would laugh at how he talked or laugh at him if he missed a goal in soccer or got an answer wrong or they’d mimic his gait. One of the things that set me off quicker than anything was when they called him retard or retarded. I got used to getting in fights protecting my brother and as the bullies got worse, the fights got worse too. The years we were in class together were the easiest because I could keep a better eye on things. The years we ended up separated in different classes were the hardest on both of us. As we grew up, we ran in different social circles, but we were still the best of friends. In high school, my parents decided that Nick would be better off in a trade school setting. So Nick started attending a community trade school, Torey Hope Education Center, where he learned life and job skills in the morning and social skills in the afternoon. This school was perfect for Nick because he got to continue attending there even after graduation. He landed a job at a local grocery store sacking groceries and stocking shelves. Nicky is a great employee; he takes his job seriously and follows instructions to a T. In the afternoon he went to the community center. Nick loved to tell me about his friends and activities at the center. He enjoyed playing ping pong and air hockey with his friends. The center didn’t let the kids just sit and play video games or watch TV so he got his video gaming fun in with me. He had chores at the center. He despised washing dishes because his hands got wrinkly in the water, but he adored bagging up and taking out the trash. He said it made him feel like the trash truck we used to watch pick up trash up and down our street when we were little kids. His favorite part of the center recently became the library. The center hired a new librarian and she is now Nicky’s favorite person. Her name is Miss Elizabeth. He loves when she reads to the group and helps them pick out books. To hear Nick tell it, Miss Elizabeth walks on water.
Chapter 2
Nate
While Nick was doing what was best for him and his future, I was doing the normal high school and college thing. I enjoyed high school, except for the assholes I still felt the need to keep away from Nicky. I did well in most classes and I was good in whatever activity or sport I chose to do. I had a few really good friends who accepted Nick and never made fun of him. They knew he was part of my life and they never excluded him. That was really important to me. Luckily, since Nicky was in classes at the center, there weren’t as many fights at school once I hit high school. Outside of school was a different story. It sort of became a joke that if I was ever seen WITHOUT a black eye, a busted lip, or bloodied knuckles it would make history. I got in only a few fights in high school, all of them because I’d catch someone making fun of my brother or calling him names when they thought I couldn’t hear. Most of my fights in high school were on the basketball courts where I’d go to play pretty much daily. Guys who knew Nick or me well never pushed things but the assholes who would make fun of Nick, or any other person with disabilities, always got what was coming to them. No one should be able to get away with hurting someone else.
Nick and I didn’t spend all our time together, but he always came first for me. The only friends I let in were the ones that understood and respected that. I dated on and off through high school but never got very serious with any one girl. I did the usual homecoming dances and proms and a lot of big group dates. I didn’t party or get drunk much, it just wasn’t my thing. Looking back, I think I didn’t get too serious with a girl because I thought it would maybe confuse Nick or make him sad that he didn’t have that. Girls were fun, but I was usually too busy fighting or looking for a potential fight or threatening the kids who made fun of Nick, to be too serious with the girls. I mean, I had my fair share of making out and the usual rounding bases, but it never surpassed that. I think I was just too preoccupied with protecting Nicky to let things go beyond just having some fun. I would venture a guess, in retrospect, that the reason I skipped partying is because I knew Mom and Dad had enough on their plates with my fighting without having to add me partying and drinking to the mix.
My parents worked hard for us. My mom stayed at home to care for us and the house. We lived in a gorgeous older home on a quiet, shaded street. Dad always made sure it was painted and looked nice on the outside. Our home wasn’t always the same color, Mom and Dad both liked to change it up, but I mostly remember it being a darker green with white trim. I loved the front porch, it wrapped all the way around the front and sides of the house and had beautiful columns. It was a great porch to sit on and play on and Dad always decked it out festively for Christmas. The front yard had a large oak tree on one side which off
ered great shade in the summer and was gorgeous in the fall. There was also a weeping willow tree on the other side. Nick and I spent many days outside playing in our fort under the willow tree. Mom kept the bushes and flower gardens in the front looking beautiful. She always planted colorful flowers in the beds and around the oak tree and the mailbox.
Inside of our house was definitely lived in but it was clean and comfortable and always looked nice. The kitchen was in the back of the house, with a back door leading to a fairly good size backyard where we’d have bar-be-ques in the summer and build snowmen in the winter. For years, our backyard boasted a huge maple tree that had a hollow spot toward the bottom. You can bet that Nick and I made use of that hollow as another “hidey hole” as Nick referred to it. Sadly, that tree got hit by lightning a few years back and had to be cut down. Mom loved her backyard and spent a lot of time out there. She had a swing under a little canopy where she would sit and read while she watched us play. There was a small hill that afforded Nicky and I place to race our remote control cars in the warm weather and a place to sled in the snow. After I moved out, Mom and Dad installed a fountain and a pond where they have some large goldfish. Nicky enjoys watching and feeding the fish.
Off the kitchen was a door to the basement. Before I went to college, the basement was sort of just used as storage and Nick and I would play down there sometimes. I lived down there during college. Through the kitchen was the dining room. We had a big oak table where all of our meals were eaten. The breakfast nook and table in the kitchen weren’t big enough for a family meal. Off of the dining room was a bathroom, an office, and a stair way. Beyond the dining room was the living room and another bedroom. Mom and Dad had the front bedroom. It was decorated simply and had king size bed, two dressers, and mom’s nightstand. It was a pale green with cream accents and pretty nature prints. Our living room was where we spent the most time. We had a big wrap around couch with an ottoman. The colors were tan and a burnt orange. Mom had little knick-knacks and pictures on the coffee tables and entertainment center. The front door, which was almost never used, opened into a little foyer type room at the front of the house and guests could hang their coats there. Luckily, we had two bathrooms. Mom and Dad mostly used the one downstairs which was attached to their room and Nick and I used the upstairs one. Our rooms were upstairs. Nick and I were always used to being together so, even when Mom and Dad gave us our own rooms and let us pick out the paint colors for them, we usually ended up sleeping in one room. Nick picked blue for his room and Mom accented it with yellows and reds. He had the video game system in his room, along with a computer, and most of our toys. I chose gray and red for my room. Nick had a twin bed in his room, but he usually slept in my room on the futon bed while I slept on my own twin bed. Our bathroom just had a stool, a sink, and a shower, but that’s pretty much all boys need. I loved our house and I loved growing up there. It was comfortable and homey and safe. I knew there was no one there that I had to protect Nicky from. I could relax and let my guard down. Even now, as a grown man, I feel safest and most relaxed in my parents’ home and I spend a lot of time there.