For Nicky

by A. D. Ellis

  The end of the night brought Scott walking me to my door. “Elizabeth, thanks for a nice evening. I was hoping that there would be something more between us, but I can see that you and Nate have too much going on. It’s too strong to fight against. I won’t be the one who tries to break that apart.” Oh, Scott, you’re too good.

  “Scott, I know this sounds really pathetic, but I’m hoping you’ll help me out. I’ve only kissed two guys. One was a disaster and one was Nate. Would you be willing to kiss me? I know it’s unfair to ask you so you can pass if you’d like.” I was truly embarrassed asking this, but I needed to see if a kiss from Scott would spark in me the way a kiss from Nate did.

  “Elizabeth, I’d never turn down a kiss from a pretty girl.” Scott tipped my chin up and brought a feather soft kiss to my lips. He increased his pressure slightly. His lips felt nice against mine but, honestly, I could have been kissing my hand for all the reaction my butterflies had. Scott pulled back after a final kiss on my cheek. “I hope you and Nate can fix whatever the misunderstanding was. You both seemed much happier when you were together. Good night, Elizabeth. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Ok, so, now what? I love Nate. I want Nate. Elizabeth wants Nate. Libby wants Nate. What do I do now? This is when I wish my mom was around to give advice.

  Chapter 90

  Nate

  I was going out of my mind. I was running more than usual, but it didn’t seem to help much. The poor kids on my team were about run ragged because I ran practices harder than normal. I had talked to Dad and Uncle Dale a couple times, and they didn’t really have much to tell me other than to give Libby time. Luckily, I had Nicky, and he seemed positive that Libby would come back to us. I had to chuckle a little when he told me that he’d had a talk with Mr. Scott. Oh, man, I bet Libby would have had the biggest smile to hear about that.

  I had played ball with Scott and a few other guys last night. It had been a week since Scott took Libby out. It was killing me, but I had to know what was going on since Libby had been off radar for a week. “So, Scott, not trying to be nosey, but how was your date the other night?” Yeah, no way to ask that without sounding like a total jerk.

  Luckily, like I already knew, Scott is a nice guy. “Well, Nate, dinner and a movie with a pretty girl are always enjoyable. A little snuggling during the movie and a kiss goodnight. What’s not to like?” I’m not sure if I was going to throw up or swallow my tongue. Snuggling and kissing my Libby? Libby snuggled and kissed Scott? Maybe it was time to give up on her coming back to me. My stomach sank.

  Scott chuckled, “Man, Morgan, you’ve got it bad. I might as well have taken my sister on that date for as platonic as it felt. Elizabeth is a gorgeous, fabulous girl but she’s not for me, and I’m not for her. Our date made that very clear. Even if she wasn’t totally in love with you, which she is, by the way, we just didn’t click. I can admit defeat and move on when it’s just not going to happen. But, as you told me the other day, if you hurt that girl, I won’t be so nice next time.”

  Scott slapped me on the shoulder and walked away smiling. He left me with a big goofy grin. Libby’s date wasn’t great. Libby still loves me according to Scott. So, why haven’t I heard from her? Is she waiting on me to contact her?

  As I showered and packed up my gym bag, I heard someone talking on the phone. “Yeah, Ma, I’m trying to figure something out. I know it’s a few months away, but I want his 4th birthday to be special. He’s finally old enough to let me know what he wants, and I want him to have exactly what he asks for. I just don’t know where to start. Yeah, ok Ma, I’ll be home in a bit. Bye.”

  I couldn’t remember the new guy’s name. He’d not been playing ball with us for very long, and he didn’t show up consistently. Shit, I hated having to ask his name after already meeting him. “Hey, man, sorry I don’t remember your name.”

  “Oh, hey, it’s Jeremiah. Jeremiah Jordan. And, you’re Morgan, right?” The man was taller than me by about 3 inches. He had an air of military about him. I knew that Audrey was pretty against anything military, maybe because of her upbringing with the Captain? I’m not sure. But, I also knew that she needed the money and her business needed, well, business. I hoped she wouldn’t be mad at me.

  “Jeremiah, right! Yeah, Nathan Morgan, but most people call me Nate. Hey, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you talking about a 4th birthday party. My future sister-in-law is a party planner, and she’s really good. Would you want her contact info? I know she’d be able to help you plan a great birthday party for a 4 year old.”

  Jeremiah took the piece of paper on which I’d written Audrey’s cell number and website information. He seemed interested, so I hoped it would get Audrey some business.

  I left the gym with thoughts of Libby in my mind. When was Libby not on my mind? I headed to my parents’ house. Nick had called earlier to ask me if I wanted to come over for supper. I told him I’d be there in time for dessert. Nick said he’d save me some cake. Mom made the best banana cake with cream cheese icing. Maybe she’d let me take some home too.

  By the time I got there, Dad had left to go help Uncle Dale close the shop, and Nicky was in his room reading a book that Miss Elizabeth had given him. Mom was finishing up the dishes, but she dried her hands to come hug me and get me some cake and a big glass of milk. Will I ever get tired of my mom treating me like her little boy? Maybe someday, but it’s always nice to come home to Mom. I expected her to go back to the dishes so I started to head up to Nick’s room. “Nathaniel, sit down, let’s talk.” My mom wasn’t usually the one to issue commands, she always just sort of let things happen or had my dad make the commands. But, when my mom told me to do something, I usually still jumped right to whatever she asked. So, I turned around and dropped straight into a kitchen chair. After a big mouthful of cake, I cleared my throat and inquired, “What’s up, Mom?”

  “Don’t you ‘What’s up’ me young man. I want to know what is going on with you and Elizabeth. I try to stay out of your personal life, but I know that you’ve both been miserable. I respect Elizabeth’s decision to be on her own for a while because, frankly, you screwed up badly Nathaniel. But, I also know that her date with Scott Donovan wasn’t successful because they are totally just friends at the center. I also know that she loves you, and you love her. So, what is going on?” My mom was asking questions I’m not sure I knew the answers to.

  “Mom, I really don’t know what’s going on. I told her I wasn’t giving up on her. I know her date with Scott wasn’t great because Scott told me himself. But, it’s been over a week since that date, and I’ve not heard from her. I know I love her, and she loves me; I just don’t know where we go from here.” I shoveled more cake in my mouth and took a drink of milk. Luckily, I swallowed right before Mom reached around the back of my head and smacked me.

  “Ouch! Mom! What the hell, I mean HECK was that for?” I rubbed my head and ducked a little in case she wanted to hit me anymore.

  “Nathaniel Joseph Morgan! I didn’t raise a stupid boy, but right now you’re not thinking very clearly! You’ve been so busy protecting Nicky and screwing around, which by the way was ridiculous and I don’t ever want to hear another word about it! But, you’ve been so busy with those things that you don’t know how to date a girl. It’s been a week since Libby’s date with Scott and you’re just waiting on her to contact you? Is that fighting for her? Lordy, Nate, do you think she’s just going to show up at your doorstep without you showing any interest? You sit here shoveling cake in your mouth while that girl is probably at home wondering why you’ve not contacted her. Fight for her my ass, pardon my language, but that’s not fighting for her.” My mom left the room mumbling to herself about thickheaded males. Nicky must have heard Mom because he came into the kitchen.

  “Hi Nate. I saved you some cake! Mom said you can take a piece home too. It’s really good.” Nicky was always as excited about cake as I was.

  “Hey, Nicky, my man. Thanks for saving me some cake. I’ll t
ake a piece home, but you can have the rest of it when Mom says it’s ok. Listen, bud, I’m not going to stay very long. I need to go visit Libby tonight. You ok with taking a rain check on our bro time?”

  Nick jumped up and ran out of the room. Shit, was he angry? Nick usually didn’t get angry easily and I thought he’d be glad to know I was heading to Libby’s place. I heard Nick thumping down the stairs almost as if a herd of elephants was behind him. He skidded to a breathless stop in front of me and held out two items in his hands. I recognized them immediately. They were made from the paper that Libby had purchased the other day. Nicky had made bookmarks. “These are for you and Miss Elizabeth. She let me make three bookmarks. I kept one, but I want you and her to have these.”

  I looked at the bookmarks. My face couldn’t help the smile that broke out and my eyes got a little watery. On one bookmark it said, “Nate loves Libby and Nicky” in Nicky’s scrawled writing. On the other bookmark it said, “Miss Elizabeth loves Nate and Nicky” with a heart. I asked to see the bookmark that Nicky kept to confirm my suspicion of what his said. Sure enough, his bookmark said “Nicky loves Miss Elizabeth and Nate”. I hugged my brother fiercely and told him that I loved my bookmark and that I knew Libby would love hers as well.

  On the way to Libby’s, I came up with a plan. I wanted more than anything to talk to her and hug her and kiss her, but I thought I needed to do more. So, I swung by the hobby shop and caught Uncle Dale before he and Dad locked up for the night. I needed a few things.

  Later, as I headed to bed, I smiled as I thought of Libby finding the gift I left for her tonight. I put it against her door and knocked before running down the block to where I’d hidden my Jeep. The brown paper bag was plain, but I had drawn hearts and flowers all over it with the words “Nate loves Libby” and “Libby loves Nate”. Inside I had placed the bookmarks from Nicky. I wrote a note that said:

  “Dear Libby, These are from Nicky, but he wanted me to give them to you. Libby, you are my heart. I always know my place when I’m with you. These bookmarks are so readers don’t lose their place. I lost my place once when I thought I’d lost you. I’m giving both of these to you. When you’re ready, when you know where your place is, you can give me back my bookmark. I love you. Nate.”

  Chapter 91

  Libby

  Between Nate and Nicky I was an emotional mess. The bookmarks about did me in. I know where my place is, but I almost feel like I’m giving in or giving up on ME if I go back to Nate. However, I miss him terribly and part of me thinks that we’re being ridiculous staying apart. Or, I’m being ridiculous.

  I try to focus on my work but the mix tape MP3 file that Nate had sent me earlier won’t let me. He had included songs like, “Ho Hey” by The Lumineers, “Beneath Your Beautiful” by Labrinth, which was the song we danced to for the first time, “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri, and “All of Me” by John Legend. I probably listened to the whole thing 10 times before I finally forced myself to get to work. I had a preschool story-time coming in about 15 minutes, so I had to go get set up. Today was for 3-4 year olds, and I was looking forward to it. They were the cutest things! Not all of the students had cognitive or physical disabilities, but most of them did. One of our newer little boys had been attending for a while with either his grandparents or his dad. Susan and Jack Jordan obviously doted on their grandchild, but his dad, Jeremiah, is absolutely adorable with him. I’m guessing he’s around 4 years old. His name is Beckett Jordan and he’s one of the cutest kids I’ve ever seen. He has a lot of challenges, but he’s precious.

  I hear the kids start arriving. I usually let the kids and adults mingle a little bit before we get started. It’s good for the kids to socialize in a safe setting and many of these parents need a friend who can relate to their day-to-day struggles. I hear Beckett say, “Daddy, that’s what I want on my birthday cake!” and Jeremiah replied, “Well, Beck, we’ll see what we can come up with.” I hated to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help it. I knew that Audrey needed the business so I grabbed one of her cards from my purse.

  “Hi, Mr. Jordan?” I blushed when he replied, “Oh please, that’s my dad, just call me Jeremiah.”

  “Ok, Jeremiah, I couldn’t help but overhear that you’re planning a party? Beckett, how old are you going to be, buddy?” I couldn’t help but giggle when Beckett held up four chubby little fingers.

  “My sister is a party planner, and she’s really good. She comes highly recommended by myself and many people around town. She’s got great prices too. Her name is Audrey; here’s her card.”

  “Hmmmm, she must be really good. This is the second time I’ve had her name given to me.” Jeremiah takes her card and studies it. “I guess I’ll have to give her call. God knows that I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to a 4 year old’s birthday party!”

  “Can I ask who else recommended Audrey to you?” I’d have to let Audrey know she had two recommendations!

  “Um, I don’t remember his name, but I played basketball with him and he told me his future sister-in-law was a party planner and gave me her name and number. I’m assuming it’s the Audrey you just told me about since I doubt this town has more than one party planner named Audrey. Thanks for this info. I better get Beckett settled in for the story.”

  Jeremiah walked away and found Beckett. They both settled in on a couple floor pillows. I watched all of this while the words “future sister-in-law” floated around in my head. Nate told Jeremiah that Audrey was his future sister-in-law which means he’s insinuating that I’m his future wife. Oh, wow. Ok, I have to go read a story to 3 and 4 year olds. It’s a good thing I can read this book from memory because I’m feeling a little spacey right now.

  Chapter 92

  Nate

  I am officially head-over-heels for Libby Decker. Obviously I am. Only a totally-in-love guy would leave romantic notes and bookmarks made by his brother on door steps, make mix-tape MP3s, write love notes, send nightly texts, and, wait for it, plan a future vacation for his love interest in hopes that she’s his girlfriend again soon and will take said vacation with him. Yeah, I’ve got it bad. But I’m totally loving every second of it. It’s sort of like Libby and I are getting the chance to date a little more than we did back before Audrey screwed us over and things got so heavy.

  I just finished the latest note that I want to send with the gift I got Libby. I was going to go with flowers, but I realized that was pretty cliché and didn’t really sound like Libby. So, this time I’m sending the note with a $50 Amazon card so she can get books on her Kindle. The last love note I sent was delivered to her at work by a very happy Nicky and came with a tea pot, tea cups, and gourmet tea.

  Libby and I have been on a few dates recently, and I know she’s enjoyed herself, but I feel like she’s still holding back on making her decision. Our first date in Operation Get Libby Back was a return to the little drive-in where we went on our first date. I let Libby put the top on the Jeep down and we enjoyed burgers and fries and shakes. I got a sweet kiss from Libby at the end of that date. I felt like I was on top of the world. Maverick was sullen and pouty.

  The next time I asked Libby out, we went for Mexican. The card I had Nicky deliver to her said, “Once upon a time, a beautiful girl told me she loved Mexican food. Well, I love Mexican food AND I love that girl, so I’m hoping she will go to dinner with me tonight. Eat Mexican food with me, por favor mi amor?” That night we spent over an hour after we ate just talking and laughing. I think the wait staff was about ready to kick us out. Libby asked me to come in that night, but I declined. I smiled at her frown and my heart kicked up a beat when she let me kiss her. Maverick was beyond pissy.

  Nicky loved helping me win Libby back. He was so excited the day he took her the invitation to watch a movie and eat pizza.

  To: Libby Decker

  What: A ROMANTIC comedy movie at Nate’s place with pizza

  When: As soon as she can get her pretty butt over here after work

  Wh
y: Because Nate loves Libby and Libby loves romantic comedies and pizza

  That night was absolutely perfect. I got to eat pizza, listen to Libby laugh, and hold Libby in my arms when she fell asleep a few minutes before the movie ended. She’d had a long day, and she’d seen this movie before, so she finally gave up fighting the sleep. I let her sleep in my arms for about an hour then roused her. Libby snuggled up next to me and slept for another hour. When I drove Libby home after that perfect night, I was dismayed at what she said when we reached her door.

  “Nate, I just don’t know what to do. I love you beyond words, and I love spending time with you. Part of me wants to just give in and be with you officially. But, the other part of me has all of these reasons why I shouldn’t.” When I asked her to share those reasons with me, she told me to get comfy on the couch. The tournament tomorrow morning was going to kill me since it was already almost midnight, but there was no way I was going to leave Libby when she was wanting to talk.

  “Nate, my list is long. Some of the reasons are valid. Some I recognize are just frivolous. But, here they are in no particular order. 1) You had sex with my sister twice. I worry what people will think of me for being with you after that. 2) You took a complete misunderstanding and turned it into this huge deal where you hurt me with your assumptions and insinuations and words. 3) You’re the first real boyfriend I’ve ever had, what if I’m only enamored with you because you were the first to show me any attention? 4) You and Nicky taught me to stand up for myself; part of me worries that if I come back to you then I will be hiding again or letting someone tell me what to do. 5) Honestly, I’m scared that if I do come back to you, I’ll fall even harder and deeper than I already have and then it will kill me if things don’t work out again. I feel like I need to make a decision because it’s not fair to keep stringing you along and giving you false hope if this isn’t going anywhere.”