by J. L. Drake
Rubbing my head, I tried to pull back the memory. “My brother. He was watching us move about my thoughts. When we’d move into one room, he’d follow, just watching.”
“Hmm.” Doc put his glasses back in place, his expression turning thoughtful. “It’s pretty obvious to me that you have blocked out a major part of what happened that day. Your brain is trying to tell you Manuel is involved.”
My phone rang and I pulled it free from my jean pocket.
Cole: Pack your bags, found Manuel. Be ready in thirty.
Mark: 10-4.
“Sorry, Doc.” I was headed for the door when he spoke up.
“Mark, I know we’ve been off on the wrong foot since I started dating Abigail. I want you to know I really care for her.”
I felt nervous. “I hope I didn’t say anything—”
“You didn’t, I just wanted to clear the air.”
“Okay.” I respected that. “Thanks.”
“Oh, and Mark…” I stopped at the door. “Call Mia. She is the cause of your headaches.”
I gave him a small smile. “I plan to.”
“Good.” He went back to his notes, and I left feeling surprisingly better than I did going in.
I hurried down the hallway and up the stairs to pack.
Twenty minutes later, Cole gave me a rundown as we raced to the chopper. Keith decided to come along, while John stayed behind. Cole wasn’t sure what we were walking into, and he wanted him to stay put but be ready in case we needed him later. Plus, we knew he wasn’t really ready for fieldwork yet.
We landed in North Dakota and set up surveillance in a hotel with a bird’s eye view of an old warehouse that was presently used as a butcher shop.
I pulled the invitation free from the white envelope that was sent to Frank anonymously. It was for an underground poker tournament. Rumor had it the jackpot was up to seventy-five thousand. It was pretty clear Manuel planned to make an appearance, so we made sure I was going to be there too. My finger ran over the number five; that was the room I’d be in.
“Check one, two, alpha, beta, delta.” Cole waited for me to give the signal that I could hear him. I gave him a thumbs up from across the dirty hotel room.
“This place is a fucking—” Keith slammed his hand down over a spider, “—dump.”
Cole bent and rested his eye to the lip of the scope. I shrugged a sweater over my head and made sure my mic was hidden through the heavy yarn. I couldn’t help but glance at my phone. What I wouldn’t do to hear her voice just once, to ground me.
Cole and Keith seemed to be preoccupied with the preparation, so I snatched my phone and slipped into the bathroom.
“Oh, fuck.” I retracted my hand from the sink where a beetle crawled out of the drain. I flipped a cup over top of it, scooped it up, and dropped it out on the windowsill. My thumb scrolled through my contacts and stopped at her name. I brought the phone to my ear and let out a long breath. Of course it went straight to voicemail.
“You’ve reached Mia. Leave a message.”
I glanced in the mirror and went with my gut. “Hey, it’s me, Mark. I…um…I’m just about to go find my brother at this underground poker thing.” I paused and wondered why the hell I was telling her this. “Look, I miss you, Mia. I know I’ve messed up with us, pushed you away when really I wanted to hold you. I just needed you to know.” My mouth went dry and my hands turned cold. “I—”
“Press one to keep the message, or press two to rerecord.”
Fuck. I lowered the phone. My head did the same.
“I love you.”
“Shake it and leave, dude.” Keith pounded on the door. “You’re up.”
With thirty grand in my pocket, I walked down the back alley and knocked three times, adding another quick knock at the end.
The door opened, and a huge Latino man looked me up and down before he asked if I was carrying.
“No.” I lifted my shirt to show I was clean.
“Money?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t offer to show him, though.
“Fifth door on your right.”
I moved inside the dark room and made sure my shoulder scanned the perimeter since Cole was recording all of this.
Thick smoke burned my lungs as I descended deeper into the warehouse. They definitely made sure you got the underground feel with this place. Hardly any lighting and more guns than the cartels carried.
When I stood in front of door number five, I wondered if I should knock. I decided against it and walked in playing the fool instead of the cautious one.
Five men were at a table playing cards, while another two talked in the corner.
The men playing cards rose quickly when I entered, as did their guns.
I looked at them with fake surprise. “You’re pointing guns at me?”
“Weapon on the table, and who the fuck are you?” one barked out.
“Well, I’m not carrying, but you already know that since no one could get by the sumo out there. Second, I was invited.” I reached in my jacket but held my other hand up to show I didn’t mean any harm. I tossed the invitation at the guy’s feet.
He reached down and examined it.
“Cash?”
“Yeah.” I patted the liner of my jacket.
He stared at me for a moment then nodded toward the table. “Buy in is ten thousand.”
“Lovely. Welcome to the game.” I snickered to show I wasn’t nervous. I took the open seat between a skinny guy who I guessed would cheat by the way he was eyeing my jacket, and another who might die of a heart attack by the time he finished his fries and gravy. Lucky me.
The door opened again, and in walked Dell. Before I could even process him, Cole started prattling in my ear. Dell froze when he saw me, but he regained his composure as he gave a slight nod toward the bar off in the corner. I waited a few beats before I cleared my throat.
“Before I buy in, you got any bourbon?” I pointed to the bar, only to get a grunt from the fat man. “So that’s a yes?” I stared at him. “Okay.” I moved out of my chair and to the bar, where Dell chucked a lime into his rum and Coke.
“What the fuck, Dell?” I hissed before I ordered. Dell hadn’t even been with Shadows for a year, and now he was here in this fucking warehouse. Great. One more person to watch over.
“That was going to be my question,” he mumbled as he checked the time.
“You come here often?” I glanced at the table where the skinny guy eyed me.
“The past six years, I have been. Look, you can’t tell anyone. Logan would forbid it.”
“Fuck, yeah, I do!” Cole cursed in my ear.
“Not helping,” I muttered to Cole. I shifted so they couldn’t see my face. “You happen to know a New York cop named Manuel Lopez?”
Dell stopped, his glass at his lips, and peered at me over the rim. “Yes, we’re good friends. He’s a good guy. Wh—” The light went on inside his head. “Holy shit, is he any relation to you?”
“My brother.” I looked around the room.
“Holy shit, I didn’t even know you had a brother!”
“Yeah, well, he’s only my brother through blood. Look, Dell, you’ve just walked into the middle of a shit storm. We don’t know each other, and if Manuel shows—”
“He’ll be here. He invited me.”
“When he does and when shit goes down, I don’t want to see you.”
“Copy that.”
“You guys planning a date, or do you want to play cards?” a man asked, annoyed.
“Be careful of that one.” Dell downed his drink and took his spot at the table.
Two games in, I purposely lost, not wanting to show my habits. It wasn’t until the third game that I won back what I lost. Dell was uncomfortable, his hand rubbing over his brow more often than not. I’d played with him enough times to know he played better than this. I could tell he was rattled by me being there.
Just as I piled my winnings in front of me, the door opened, and it took
all I had not to lose my composure.
“Sorry I’m late, Noah.” Manuel removed his jacket and handed it to the guy I spoke with earlier. Holy shit. Noah, as in Noah Beck? I couldn’t believe it. Noah was Manuel’s best friend growing up. I hadn’t recognized him.
Fuck me, I hated that guy!
Manuel sat down at the table and looked directly at me. “So you got my invite.”
“I did.” I wasn’t sure if we were brothers at that point, or if I should be playing along.
“Abort,” Cole muttered in my ear.
“No,” I hissed when Mia’s face popped in front of me. This needed to end tonight.
Manuel smirked right before he nodded at Noah. “Left ear and chest.”
Noah came over and ripped off the tiny earpiece and crushed it with his boot. He did the same with the wire. All I had left was a camera, no audio.
“You a cop?” The skinny guy shuffled the cards as he puffed away on a cigarette.
“Special ops,” Manuel chimed in again. “The all-American boy.”
“Right, and he’s a cop, so what am I doing here?” Oddly enough, I wasn’t nervous. All I saw was red. This was the showdown we needed.
“You,” Noah moved into my direct line of sight, “are going to win what your brother owes us.”
“And if I don’t?”
Manuel made a strange face, one I didn’t recognize. Noah snapped his fingers at Mr. Heart Attack Guy next to me. He slid a phone over so I could see the photo that was on its small screen. It was of Mia reading a book outside the ER. Then the screen flipped to another picture of her talking to Molly by the nurse’s station.
No, no, no! I glanced over at Manuel, who watched me carefully.
“We have someone watching your pretty lady at the hospital. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to her, would you?”
I remained calm on the outside. Gathering my strength, I compressed all my fear and tucked it in the center of my stomach and flicked my gaze over to Manuel. I cleared my throat. “You can tell them to leave her alone.” I let my eyes burn into Noah’s. “Okay, let’s play.”
“Excellent.” Manuel grinned at Noah. “Let’s light this shit up.”
Noah opened a different door off to the side and greeted some new players as they entered.
“Welcome, welcome.” He clapped in excitement. “I hope you brought enough cash for me to win.” The men chuckled at his lame joke.
Seven new men joined the table. They were served a drink and were told the rules before the skinny guy dealt the cards.
With my head down, I played, and not once did I engage more than I had to. I did only what was needed and continued.
Three games in and two hours later, I won seventy-three thousand dollars. I didn’t blink at the cash that was piling up in front of me. The rage inside was enough to keep me focused.
I tapped the table over and over. None of them realized I was letting Cole know to stand down. I made sure my fingers were in view of the tiny camera on my sweater. Nothing could fuck this up. I needed to wash my hands clean of this situation once and for all.
At eighty grand, I tossed my cards down. “I’m done.”
“Ah, no, you’re not.” Noah pulled his gun from his pants. “Your brother’s debt is two hundred thousand.”
I glanced at my brother, wondering how we could be so different and why his best friend was holding a gun to my head.
“Not my problem.” I shrugged.
“Mark,” Manuel warned, but this time I didn’t care. “Don’t fuck with these guys.”
Dell shifted and rubbed his nose, which was a sign to not push them.
Noah nodded at the guy next to me, who shoved his phone in my face again.
There was Mia, walking out of a patient’s room. Oh, God, please don’t let her get hurt because of me again. I knew I had to call their bluff.
Bluff. That was what this was. It had to be. They had to know I’d never play if they hurt her. “Like I said, I’m done.”
Noah thought for a moment as Manuel started to panic.
“Fucking shoot the bitch!” Manuel yelled and tossed his drink on the table. “He cares, Noah, you just have to push him.” He stood and waved his arms. “Take him in the other room and let him play with the high rollers. Mark could beat the dealer at his own game. Stop with this practice. It’s time to play for real. You see he’s unbeatable.”
Noah looked at the two of us before he pointed his gun at Manuel and calmly shot him in the knee.
Holy shit!
Manuel screamed as he fell to the floor. Five of the men picked up their cash and headed out the door. The other two moved to the wall, but watched. The fat guy next to me suddenly pushed the table off to the side and left me in a chair facing Manuel and Noah. The skinny guy pointed a gun at me, though it was almost comical because the weight of the gun seemed to be too much for him to hold steady.
Dell stood in the corner, ready to intervene if necessary. I shook my head for him to stand down. This was my fight.
“I’m a little confused, here.” I laced my fingers together. “Aren’t you two old friends?”
Noah scratched his head with the tip of his 40 cal. His greasy hair stuck in place. “We were, until your brother lost two hundred thousand of my money in one sitting.”
I turned my eyes to Manuel, who rolled around on the floor, hugging his bloody leg.
“He needs to pay up.” Noah stared down at him.
Again I held up my hand so Cole would see to stand down. However, I wasn’t sure how long he’d let me do this solo.
Noah grabbed Manuel by the hair and raised him to his knees. His cheeks puffed in and out as the pain increased. Saliva sprayed out as he cried, trying to cover his wound with his hand.
“Mark!” His eyes pleaded with me, but all I could hear was his comment about Mia. Shoot the bitch.
“Should’ve known better than to trust a cop,” Noah hissed as he turned toward Manuel. “Any last words before you pay your debt?”
I cleared my throat. “I have one.”
Noah looked at me, surprised and no doubt wondering why I wasn’t trying to stop this. He motioned for me to go on.
I let the darkness consume me. I gave in to the horrible thoughts I had tried so hard to push away. With my heart pounding like a drum in my chest, I kneeled down to my brother’s level.
Some said the eyes were the window to your soul. I said they were the window to the truth. Something always bothered me about the day our mother was killed. Manuel said my prints were on the knife.
“These might be the last few moments we ever have together, brother.” The word stuck on my tongue. “If you want to go out with any kind of honor, tell me the truth.” I swallowed back the pain this topic brought me. “Did I really kill our mother?”
The twitch of his mouth brought all my senses to attention. “You are such an idiot. You had no idea what it was like living in that house.” His words were like ice—no emotion, only emptiness. “All you had to do was get food, keep your mouth shut, and go to school. I was the one who had to deal with them.”
“Them, who?”
“All Mom’s boyfriends.” His eyes opened and closed with pain, and his face and neck were covered in a thick layer of sweat. “Some wanted more than just Mom.” His fists flexed. “They wanted me too. I fought, but it didn’t stop them.”
“You weren’t the only one.” I raised my sweater and showed him the deep scar. “I didn’t know they were after you too.”
“Of course you didn’t, you were always running off to your other family.”
“Because of you! You made me leave, even if it was a fucking storm, just to find you food, or siphon gas from cars so you could get more pot.” I jabbed a finger at his chest. “Trust me, Manuel, I’ve had my fair share of pain. We were just kids. Mom should have taken better care of us.”
I looked up at Noah. He was listening to our exchange with interest. No one moved as they stood back and watched, fascin
ated as our little drama played out around them.
“Mom was a waste of space, so I took care of her.” My brother’s words pulled me back.
Sweat broke out across my chest. “You killed her?” I was lost for words. Manuel was an asshole, but to commit murder was an entirely different thing.
“Yeah.” He laughed then wiped his mouth dry. “I killed her.”
My heart dropped into my stomach. “You fucking killed our mom? But I—”
“I hated you,” he coughed, “so fucking much. I still do.” He dragged his body to the wall and propped himself up. “But what’s worse than killing someone, huh, Mark? Going down for the murder of someone you love, even that shit of a mother of ours.”
“I didn’t love her.” I tried to stand my ground while it crumbled beneath me.
“Oh, Marky,” he flexed his neck, “yes, you did. You don’t remember that day, do you?”
“You came home, poured yourself a drink of Kool-Aid.” Manuel sneered. “Did it taste funny?”
The memory came then…
“Mom, I’m home!” I dropped my book bag at the door and listened. All was quiet. I poured myself a glass of cherry Kool-Aid from the jug sitting on the counter. It slid down my throat. There was a funny aftertaste that left a gritty film over my teeth. I guessed I should have stirred it. I pulled my spelling test free from my folder. I wanted to show her I got 100. Maybe she’d actually be sober and be proud of me.
When I went past the living room, I stopped as a strange smell caught my attention. Slowly, I turned my head and saw my mother on the couch with a knife sticking out of her stomach.
I froze. The blood attacked my senses and I started to get dizzy.
“Mom?” I called out, but she didn’t move. My toes dragged along the shag carpet and got entwined in the loose threads. “Mama, are you okay?” Everything wobbled and spun. I felt my head hit the carpet. A strange ringing noise traveled from ear to ear, bouncing around like a rubber ball inside a box.
