New Beginnings

by Elle M Thomas

  “Yes.” Annette grinned, seeming to sense impending victory.

  “Oh, erm, no, I can't.” Eve hoped she could explain her reasons and put an end to this madness. “If…when I have a baby, I will not be giving it away to anyone, ever. What would it say to my child that I gave it away? No Annette, and Max wouldn't want that, the plan was that he and I would raise our children together.”

  “Yes, but I would take care of it and you could visit,” she offered.

  “No!” snapped Eve. “I am not having a baby for you Annette, giving up my baby in exchange for visitation, no, never,” she said firmly.

  “Then give us Max's sperm and we'll find a surrogate,” responded the older woman making Eve gasp before looking at Gray who looked as shocked as her and then across to Alan.

  “Are you in on this? Is this what you want too?”

  Alan shrugged and replied with honesty, “I want my wife to be happy and to stop hurting Eve and if you were happy to do this...” he said, his voice trailing off.

  “I could discuss the fact that you are both in your fifties and by the time any child would reach their twenties one or both of you may be dead, but there is no point because: one, I am not having a baby for you, two, I would never give my child away, three, Max would be totally opposed to this and four, I am going to have Max's sperm destroyed to remove this ridiculous idea as an option in your mind,” said Eve calmly but sternly having literally just made that decision.

  “No! You can't. How dare you,” screamed Annette, leaping to her feet, moving erratically causing Gray to move his body in front of Eve's in case the older woman decided to take another swing. When he'd told her earlier that it was the last time she would hit Eve he’d meant it.

  “You have no idea how it feels to be so desperate that you would rather die than wake up every morning!” shouted her mother-in-law, beginning to round the table.

  Eve stood and really had had enough, “Oh for fuck's sake, Annette! You do not have the monopoly on grief,” Eve cried feeling Gray tense beside her, probably at her swearing but she really had had enough of this ridiculous conversation and even more ridiculous notion. “Your son is dead and it's awful, your husband has lost a son too, your daughters have lost a brother and I have lost a husband, me, not you, me. As for me not knowing about feeling desperate you don't have a clue what I have and haven’t felt because you don’t want to, you didn’t even consider me in any of this,” she accused. “When Max died, he took a piece of me with him and my whole future.”

  With her heart racing and heat and colour flooding through her body, Eve continued without thought for what she was going to say or who was present to hear it, she was running on pure emotion now.

  “When Max first knew that he wasn't going to survive the cancer we talked about what was going to happen to him, and to me. Max hated the idea of becoming a vegetable and a burden and talked about assisted suicide. I knew he would be on some heavy duty drugs, especially as things got worse so I offered to help him when the time came, and after I had helped him to end his life I was planning on taking my own, so don't you dare tell me that I don't know how it feels to be so desperate that you would rather die than wake up.” Eve’s words shocked everyone around her. “But Max vetoed that plan and told me that I owed it to him to live my life for both of us and if the only way of him being helped on his final journey was that I would take it with him then he would battle to the bitter end, which he did. So, living a full life for us both is exactly what I intend to do and that life does not include knowingly giving birth to a fatherless child and giving it away or giving my husband's sperm away to some fertile woman on the make. If you don't like it, or can't accept it, then tough because yet again this is my call,” said Eve, making reference to the time she’d told Annette that she was Max's next of kin and that she called the shots.

  The other woman looked to be seething, making Gray get to his feet and move in front of Eve again, just in case, but she just stormed to the front door and slammed it behind her leaving an uncomfortable looking Alan standing too and staring across at Eve and Gray.

  “She didn't mean that, she's upset,” said the older man walking to Eve and hugging her warmly.

  “That may be so, you’re all upset, but she can't take hers out on Eve,” Gray told Alan seriously.

  “I know and when she calms down—” started Alan before Gray interrupted.

  “Sorry Mr Pardoe, you misunderstand me. I mean she can't take her upset out on Eve because I won’t allow it. Enough is enough and Eve really has had enough, don't you think?” He left the other man in no doubt that he was stating a fact, his intention that what had occurred really needed to be the final instance of this kind of behaviour.

  “Of course. Sorry, Eve.” Alan embraced Eve before kissing her on the cheek and heading for the front door.

  As the front door closed Eve found herself wrapped in Gray's arms where neither of them spoke for several minutes until Eve broke the silence.

  “I am so sorry for all of that and thank you for sticking up for me,” she said overly grateful thought Gray and wondered if she was just trying to keep a lid on her emotions as she stayed wrapped around him and within his arms, avoiding all eye contact.

  Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head where he found her hair was still damp. He pulled his arms from around her but left hers around him as he lifted her head up so he could see her and half wished he hadn't when he saw the sad expression on her face and the pain in her eyes.

  “Baby, they were out of order and if Alan is unable to keep his wife under control where you're concerned then I will. I meant what I said, she will not lay a finger on you again. I know of twice, and it's twice too many for me, but enough. I’m sure they've been to hell and back in the last couple of years but they’re not taking you with them any longer, Eve. And as for that whole baby thing? Jeez, that is so fucked up! I was scared when she first mentioned your children in case you did have kids you'd left, but I was sure you hadn't, wouldn't...” he sounded confused.

  “Thank you for not bolting when you thought I had kids.” She smiled a half-smile at the notion that she would ever desert her children after her own experiences as a child.

  “We may not have known each other long, but I think I know you well enough to know that you would never desert anyone you were responsible for, including Max. I can believe that you wanted to die with him, but to plan it.” Gray rested his head against hers.

  “I never planned on sharing that with anyone beyond Max and Sally, but Annette pushed my buttons today,” she admitted and then reaching up to lift his head from hers so that she could look into his eyes she continued explaining, “I was desperate at that point and didn't want to be on my own after Max died. I told you that night when I cried myself to sleep after I realised just how lonely I had been before Max and I couldn't bear to think of being that lonely again,” said Eve before pausing to take a breath. Seeing that Gray was about to speak, she covered his mouth with her fingers to silence him and continued, “And as you say we may not have known each other very long, but I am very glad that Max set me straight and that I am here, with you.” She pulled his head down so that his lips were almost touching hers. “Now, I have brushed my teeth and I seem to recall that you were planning on kissing me lots today, tomorrow, forever,” she said before willingly yielding as his mouth covered hers to tease her lips gently, caressing them until she felt as though she was swooning.

  “Eve, go and grab some stuff for the weekend, baby and let's go, bring a bikini if you fancy going swimming or lounging round the pool at the gym later,” he suggested, reminding her that they were spending the weekend at Gray's home. “Oh, and bring work clothes for Monday and go to work from mine, we're going to the same building after all, please,” he added but he sounded more in need of her staying with him than she might be.

  Eve grabbed a grey trouser suit and a white short sleeved blouse for work and plenty of casual clothes for the weekend including a bik
ini for the gym and threw them into an overnight bag before disappearing into the bathroom to gather some toiletries.

  “Baby, leave toiletries, we'll buy some later and you can leave them at mine, I'd like you to,” Gray told her seriously as he pulled her shampoo from her hand and replaced it on the shelf.

  Taking her bag from her, Gray led her down the stairs and to his car before saying, “Eve I am sure once Annette has calmed down and thought about everything you told her she will see things differently and apologise.

  “Nice notion, but she is very stubborn. Look Gray, I don't really want to spend any more of my weekend thinking about it or talking about it, so if she comes round fine and if she doesn't, well that's her choice and I have made mine,” replied Eve, leaning against the passenger side of the car.

  “That sounds very sensible and equally considerate,” commented Gray, leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips. “Come on, let me take you home.”

  “Home?” queried Eve.

  “Yes, home, my home. I hope you like it.” Gray got behind the steering wheel smiling at her, unsure why it meant so much to him that she liked his home.

  Eve sat back and relaxed immediately, knowing it was just her and Gray for the rest of the weekend and was thinking about how he managed to make her feel so at ease with him after knowing him such a short time. She also considered his own comments about the fact that nobody, no woman, no girlfriend had ever been to his home before and yet here she was on her way there now, with the offer of buying a set of toiletries to be left at his home. The sound of Gray's laughter brought her back to the present with a jolt.

  “What?” asked Eve.

  “When I was trying to find you every song seemed to have an Eve connection, like this one, although this is more like the one that should have been playing when you found me in the bar that night with that woman.”

  Eve listened to the song playing on the radio and laughed as the lyrics registered in her mind. The words spoke of Eve, of her introducing herself and needing to leave.

  “How weird is this? I've never heard of it,” stated Eve.

  “It's Elvis Costello. I Googled Eve songs after they started haunting me,” declared Gray honestly, making Eve laugh again as she caught another lyric that made her chuckle now.

  The song continued to play, talking about another time when she was his only wife.

  “This is beyond weird now!” she said with a shake of the head.

  “Wait til the end,” grinned Gray mysteriously, but the irony of their last meeting at The Stanford and the final lyrics weren't wasted on Eve. The reintroduction of Eve and it being time for them to leave.

  “Wow. Get us with our own song.” She smiled.

  “I think it's about a second wife and Eve is the first wife or something,” said Gray seriously.

  “Is this you telling me not to get too comfy as Mrs Sharp at The Stanford on date night?” she asked genuinely joking. She hadn't necessarily expected him to answer or comment at all, but he did.

  “Eve, I don't do serious relationships, well, I never have in the past, not even when I've been in them,” he said confusingly. “But I can guarantee that I will only ever have one Mrs Sharp,” he said deadly seriously.

  Eve felt slightly uncomfortable, unsure what to say or do because she was unsure what that sentence actually meant. Was Gray telling her not to pin her hopes on their relationship being serious beyond the here and now, or was he telling her that he meant she was the one and only Mrs Sharp he would ever have?

  Eve made no response and turned her attention to the world passing her by outside.

  After they'd been travelling for about half an hour they turned onto a shopping complex with a small supermarket and a large chemist as well as the usual clothes shops and burger joints.

  “Come on, let's grab something to eat, toiletries for you and some food to take home, in that order,” said Gray as he got out of the car and moved round to help Eve out of the passenger side.

  After an oversized burger and fries they moved as far as the chemists where Eve was looking at the miniature versions of her usual products, confusing Gray slightly.

  “Eve, how long is that shampoo likely to last?” He frowned.

  “Dunno, about four uses,” she estimated.

  “So why are you even considering it? Get the big one, like you have in your bathroom,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Are you sure?” She suddenly felt nervous.

  “About what?”

  “Me leaving things at yours, about making assumptions that I need the full-size items,” she said cautiously, unsure what she meant herself now.

  “Eve, are you planning on going home? To your old home with Max, to Annette and Alan?” he asked more cautiously than her.

  “What? No.”

  “Then why wouldn't you want to leave a reasonable supply of your things at my home?”

  “I just thought, well, you said about not doing serious relationships and—”

  “And you thought I was inviting you over for the weekend for a one-off bunk up,” he finished for her.

  “No. Yes. Maybe,” she conceded.

  “Eve, I said I haven't done serious before, but I could get serious about you, baby, and I don't have women in my house, not unless they're Sam or my cleaner, so that is quite a serious thing for me to do, so buy the largest bottles and jars of lotions, potions and whatever else you need. Please, clutter my bathroom,” he cried, grinning. Then, in a whisper, added, “Plus, if I was going to invite you for a one weekend bunk up it wouldn't be when you're having a period, now please, shop.”

  Eve grinned far too much, far too widely and for far too long as she put back the miniature bottles she had been considering and moved on to the full-size items.

  By the time they got to the till Gray had taken the heavily weighted basket off Eve and placed it on the counter as the middle aged lady, who whilst still attractive, had definitely been glamorously beautiful in her younger years, smiled warmly at both Eve and Gray, although her glance for Gray was more appreciative than the one she'd given Eve. Eve smiled as she realised that most women in the store had stopped to give Gray an extra-long look of longing if not several looks. Her smile widened as his hand found its way to her behind where he gently rested the palm on her right side while his fingers gently cupped the full, underside of her cheek.

  “Gosh, somebody's stocking up.” The lady who was serving them grinned as she began scanning the items in the basket.

  “They certainly are,” agreed Gray, smiling at the assistant while still caressing Eve's behind. “I didn't know that one woman needed so many different things.”

  Laughing, the assistant packed the items after scanning them; shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, body scrub, polishing cloths, face wash, foot scrub, foot cream, pumice stone, cleanser, toner, moisturiser, eye cream, tweezers, nail scissors, cotton wool balls, pads and buds, dry oil spray, hair treatments, tissues, nail varnish remover, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouth wash, body spray and finally, tampons.

  Eve smiled until the total cost appeared on the till, but the true cost didn't register until the woman actually said it out loud, “That's £164.89p please.”

  Gray looked down at Eve and asked, “Do you really spend this much on this stuff?”

  “I guess I must, but not normally all together,” she replied as she fished her purse out of her bag, but before she could pull her card out Gray had inserted his own card into the reader.

  “No!” she protested but he was already entering his pin. “You didn't need to do that,” she said quite crossly.

  “I wanted to,” replied Gray, unrepentant as he removed his card and took the bags from the counter in one hand and returned his other hand to Eve's behind as they began to leave the store.

  Still annoyed, she sped up, freeing herself from his touch and headed towards a cash point where she proceeded to withdraw cash and thrust it towards Gray.

  “I don't want your money,” he told her
as he walked towards his car.

  Running to catch up with him she explained, “And I don't want yours.”

  He turned as he closed the boot with the press of a button enclosing her goods before crossing the road again to return to the shops.

  “Then we're both happy then, I won’t give you cash and I won’t accept yours,” he said flatly, ignoring her pout.

  “I’m not happy,” she moaned. “You have just spent over a hundred pounds on my things, so that is the equivalent of you giving me money,” she explained, but noticing a homeless man sitting on the pavement hoping for donations, Eve decided she had little to complain about, although she still intended to repay Gray.

  Reluctantly, Eve allowed him to take her hand to pull her to the supermarket where once more she offered a handful of notes to Gray.

  “Eve, I am not accepting your money. I invited you to keep supplies at my home and am happy to pay for them and now that I know what products you use, I will add them to my shopping lists so we won’t need to have this conversation again. Now, lose the puppy dog eyes and put your money away.” He sounded cross at the possibility of her defying him.

  Gray grabbed a trolley and navigated it around the compact supermarket with expert handling and the occasional formula one sound effect making Eve laugh at him and struggle to maintain her anger. They each threw items into the trolley and whereas she liked seeded or granary bread Gray opted for traditional white, he threw a bunch of bananas and a few apples in rather than the pineapple and kiwis she added, but when they came to the meat aisle they both reached for steak and bacon, in the sweet section they both opted for a straightforward bar of milk chocolate.

  Eve laughed as Gray studied the cereals and when pressed, admitted, “This one has trading cards inside and the box turns into a mask of a tiger.”

  “And loads of sugar and additives,” Eve pointed out.