“Does that technique really work?” Blue studied her with a frown.
“Sometimes.”
A smile began breaking out over Blue’s face, and even though he tried to hide it with his hand, there it was; a big grin lighting up his face. Seeing him smile was contagious. She felt a smile tugging at her own lips. There was something about it that made him look like a little kid instead of a grown man. Yes, indeed. A grown man who seemed to be on her mind twenty-four-seven ever since Lilah had told her he was back in Breeze Point.
“That’s what I like to see. Sarah smiling.”
Blue’s words resurrected an old memory. There had been a song about a girl named Sarah and her beautiful smile. He used to sing this particular song to her in his car when they were on their way to a night out. Ever since their breakup, she hadn’t been able to listen to that song in quite the same way. It had created a deep longing inside of her to be with him, something she’d known was impossible.
Sarah could feel the curious gazes of the other nurses as she and Blue shared this private moment. Sensing her discomfort, he raised an eyebrow and lowered his voice. “I see we’re the talk of the nurse’s station.”
Embarrassment flooded through her at the lack of professionalism displayed by some of her co-workers. “I apologize for the gossip. You don’t need that, especially with all that your family is going through.”
“To tell you the truth,” Blue whispered as he leaned forward on the counter. “I’m kind of flattered that they think the most beautiful woman in town would be into me.” He was flirting with her. Shamelessly. And even though she would never admit it, Blue’s flattery and attention felt like a warm burst of sun after a cloudy day. For so long now she’d just been existing. Here and there she’d dated a few men, but none of them had ever been able to compete with the grand love she’d shared with Blue Donahue. No man had ever made her feel the depth of emotion she’d felt for Blue. No one else had ever given her butterflies.
Sarah rolled her eyes and let out a groan. “Go on, Blue, before the rumors really go into overdrive.”
Blue winked at her. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”
“No, we wouldn’t,” she said in a soft voice, not sure whether or not she’d spoken the truth or not. As Blue walked away her eyes trailed after him. With his tall height and broad shoulders his commanding presence couldn’t be denied. His gait was full of natural grace and ease.
He turned back towards her, catching her in the act of watching him. “Hey, before I forget. I’ve decided not to take the assignment. I’m staying put right here in Breeze Point to help out my family, at least until Dad gets back on his feet.”
His announcement had the effect of an emotional sucker punch. After their earlier conversation she’d been convinced he would have one foot outside the town limits as soon as his new assignment started. Her eyes moistened. She felt chills racing down her arms. Suddenly, she was tongue tied, not knowing what to say to reflect the happiness fluttering around inside her.
“That’s wonderful news,” she said. Feeling the need to clarify her comment she added, “Your family will be so thrilled, especially your parents.” She tried to keep her voice calm despite the havoc his words had wreaked on her. Lord knows she didn’t want him to believe she was invested in him extending his stay in town. It would be tantamount to throwing a match on a powder keg.
“Just thought I’d share it with you.” With a nod of his head he was walking away from her, reaching Alec’s hospital room by the time she realized she was staring at his retreating figure. She felt breathless at the news about Blue’s extended stay in town. A myriad of emotions fluttered inside her. Happiness. A burst of nervousness. And genuine fear. She was falling back under Blue’s spell. The truth was plain and simple. While she knew Blue’s presence in town would be beneficial for Alec and the Donahue family, it didn’t bode well for her. Four years ago she’d made a solemn vow to never allow Blue Donahue back into her life. And now with Blue back in town indefinitely, she had no idea how she was going to uphold her promise.
“What I like most about having a home is that anyone at any time is welcome to come inside, grab a plate and sit down with us.” Eight-year old Remy Donahue
Chapter Seven
Blue wished Sarah had done something more than gape at him and give him a canned response when he’d delivered his big news. Disappointment flooded him. What was he expecting? A ticker tape parade? It wasn’t as if Sarah had suggested he remain in Cape Cod for any reason other than his father’s well-being. It wasn’t personal, no matter how much he wanted it to be. In his wildest dreams he wanted Sarah to have mentioned his staying in town due to her desire to have him around. That was wishful thinking on his part. Even though Sarah had shown moments of grace towards him, there was still a mountain standing between them.
Some things, he realized, couldn’t be undone. Some mistakes would resonate for a lifetime. As he entered his father’s hospital room he came to an abrupt halt. The bed was empty. For a second fear fluttered inside him. No! Sarah would have told him if something had happened to Dad. His brothers were sitting in chairs while his mother was perched on the empty bed. The dark circles and puffiness under her eyes spoke volumes. He walked toward his mother and sat down beside her, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently.
“How are you holding up?” She leaned in to him as he placed his arm around her and pulled her close.
“I’m fine. It’s your father I’m worried about.”
“Don’t worry. Things are looking up. We’re all going to rally around Dad and see him through this. Before you know it, you’ll be walking the beach with him and making one of your famous Donahue wedding cakes.”
“Thank you for lifting my spirits, son. You’re such a wonderful caretaker.” She looked deeply into his eyes. He had the strangest feeling his mother was trying to uncover something about him, as if he were a mystery waiting to be solved. “That’s what you’ve always been, Blue. You’re always taking care of everyone else. Your father and I used to worry about that aspect of your personality because you did it with such a single minded focus. It left you wide open to being taken advantage of by others. But I see it’s made you into the wonderful, God fearing man you are today.”
His mother’s sweet sentiments warmed his insides. “Whatever I am, it’s because of you and Dad.”
She fiercely shook her head. “No! That’s not true. Everything you are, Blue Donahue is because of what lies inside you. And through the Grace of God.” She placed her palm over his heart and smiled a wide, generous smile that brought to mind a hundred different memories.
“From the first time we laid eyes on you, we knew you were special. You belonged to us even before we ever met. A gift from God.”
Tears glistened in Blue’s eyes as he listened to his mother’s declaration of love. As a child who’d been neglected, abused and never acknowledged, there was a part of him that would always crave this sort of affirmation. It felt wonderful to be so loved. And cherished. Once again, Sarah’s lovely face came into focus. She had loved him. Wonderfully. Devotedly. Wholeheartedly. He’d give the world to be able to go back in time and make different choices. Instead of holding fast to what he knew was the right path, he’d chosen the wild card. He’d chosen his birth father.
It was the single worst decision he’d ever made in his life. Pain rocketed through him at the memory of his father’s harsh demeanor when he’d shown up at the hospice. As a Christian, he’d always believed that people sought some type of redemption on their death bed, a ‘come to Jesus’ moment of sorts. How naïve he’d been. His father had shown him nothing but contempt, all the way up until the bitter end. He’d railed at him, hurled verbal abuse his way, told him he shouldn’t have been born, that he’d ruined his life and that of his birth mother. Despite everything, he’d stayed up until the very end when his father drew his last breath. And for some reason not known to him, he’d actually shed tears at the sight of him lying
so frail and cold in death. There had been such emptiness inside him, and it had terrified him to contemplate the fact that there would always be this gaping hole inside him.
His mother narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. Her hand swept across his brow. “What are you thinking about? You look so somber.”
“Nothing for you to worry about. Just doing some house cleaning.” That’s what his mother had always called it when you sat with your thoughts for a while and reflected on past decisions. No matter how much house cleaning he did regarding the situation with Sarah, he always ended up wishing he could go back in time and alter the course he’d taken. If only he could.
“It’s always good to keep a clean house,” his mother teased, a spark of amusement glinting in her eyes.
He couldn’t argue with that. Carrying emotional baggage around with him wasn’t doing anything to lift him up. All it was doing was weighing him down.
“Did the boys tell you the news?” Blue jutted chin in the direction of his brothers, who had their eyes glued to the baseball game playing on television. In profile, he could see Wyatt’s jaw clenched tightly as he watched his team play a series at Fenway Park without him. For someone like Wyatt who loved being in the thick of things, the agony was acute. Even though he was a grown man, he resembled a small kid sitting on the bench while the rest of the team was on the field.
“News?” His mother looked nervously in Remy and Wyatt’s direction. “I hope it’s good news.”
“Try this on for size. How would you like it if all your boys stayed in Breeze Point so we can help Dad with his rehab?”
Her mouth gaped. “All seven of you?” Blue shook his head in confirmation. Maggie let out a cry and began fanning herself with her hand. “Oh, the Lord heard my prayers. Just this morning I was in the hospital chapel on my knees praying that we would all be together as a family to weather this storm. Oh, God is good, isn’t He?” The three brothers concurred, nodding their heads in agreement, smiles plastered on all their faces.
“He’s always with us,” Blue added, saying a silent prayer of thanks for God’s guidance. Earlier this afternoon he hadn’t known which way to turn on the twisted road that lay before him. Sarah’s words had been food for thought. And she’d been right about sticking around Breeze Point to support his family. Even though he’d felt conflicted, deep down he’d known what he should do. Thanks to Sarah, his brothers’ wise counsel and the power of prayer, he’d followed his heart. He knew this was the right decision, for himself and his family. Now that he was leaning more on God to support him through the hard times, he was learning to listen to the voice inside of him. He was learning to reach out for guidance. If he’d done that in the past, perhaps things might be different now.
*
“So, how do you feel about it?” Ryder’s unwavering gaze held him hostage. His ice blue eyes were full of intensity. “We all have to be on board if this is going to work out. Nobody wants to make you uncomfortable or reopen a closed wound.”
There was something about his older brother that made it difficult not to be one hundred percent truthful with him. Perhaps it was his heroic nature or the fact that he’d always been such a straight shooter. Even though he was only a year older than him, he’d always felt as if Ryder was an old soul. Wise beyond his years. Losing Lena had only emphasized the mature qualities Ryder possessed. As a child he’d been forced to grow up in a hurry after losing the only family member he had in the world—his grandmother. As an adult, losing the love of his life had shattered any sense of peace he’d settled into.
“Fine. It’s fine,” Blue said, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could fully assess the situation. Three minutes ago, his brothers had presented him with a home care plan for their father, one that included the services of a private care nurse named Sarah Dalton. His first reaction had been shock, quickly followed by a contented feeling deep in his soul. Hiring Sarah was complicated. Would she even want the part-time job? Did it come with too much baggage, namely him? Would she really want to get swept up in the thick of the Donahue family?
“How do you really feel?” Nick asked, his dark brows knitted together.
How did he feel? Truthfully, he wasn’t quite sure. His family had just laid something huge on him. Now they were gathered around looking at him as if he were a featured exhibit at the zoo. He let out a slow, shallow breath. How would he feel running into Sarah whenever she made her way over to the house to check in on Dad? Could he handle it? Would it only add more strain to an already tense dynamic?
“Sarah’s not the only nurse in town,” Mac said bluntly. “If it doesn’t work for you, Blue, it doesn’t work for us.”
Leave it to Mac to strip the situation of any sentimentality and just get down to brass tacks. Mac the bold. Tough. Taciturn. Always shooting from the hip.
“You’re right, Mac,” Nick said, “she’s not the only nurse in town, but she’s the only nurse who knows Dad almost as well as we do.” Nick’s comment hung in the silence.
Blue let the idea settle around for a few moments before he spoke. “Nick’s right. It’s the only thing that makes sense given the situation. We need a private care nurse to come in for a few hours a week here and there. Sarah fits the bill. She’s fantastic at what she does. She knows Dad. They’ve always had a great relationship. Case closed.”
His brothers collectively heaved a sigh of relief.
Ryder walked up to him. He frowned. “Are you sure this works for you? None of us wants you to take this on the chin.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. But—.”
“But what?” Ryder asked.
“After everything Sarah has been through with this family, I’m just not sure she’s going to say yes. And we all know why she’d say no. Because of me.”
He didn’t want to be the cause of his family’s disappointment. And he didn’t want Sarah to get pushed into doing something she didn’t want to do. Given her altruistic nature, she would want to help out as much as she could, despite any awkwardness she might feel. Maybe he should have just told his brothers to count Sarah out of the equation. Perhaps that would be the decent thing to do. All he knew how to do at the moment was pray. He was praying for his father’s complete healing, as well as for the entire Donahue clan. And now he was praying for Sarah. Whatever her decision might be, he respected her choices.
*
As soon as she walked into the Donahue household, Sarah experienced a keen sense of belonging. She felt as if she were coming home after a long absence. The heavenly smell of pot roast and potatoes wafted in the air. A buzz of activity swirled around her. The sound of clinking glasses and plates echoed from the kitchen. Animated voices drifted towards the foyer. She hadn’t meant to burst in on them during supper time. Blue had told her to swing by after her shift ended. For some reason she hadn’t even paused to consider the time. She was so eager to help out the Donahues. So thankful she possessed a skill that might aid Alec in his recovery. And Blue. She couldn’t act as if he wasn’t a part of the equation. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t seem to get him out of her thoughts.
At the moment she was having a problem getting a word past her lips. Blue had opened the front door and quickly ushered her into his family home. He looked way more handsome than he had a right to, considering none of the family was getting much rest these days. He was wearing a navy blue long sleeved shirt with a pair of dark washed jeans. He’d tied his hair back in a ponytail, which allowed his striking face to dominate. His hazel eyes stood out more than ever. His easy smile made her heart lurch.
“Thanks for coming, Sarah. You must be beat after working all day.”
“I’m fine. Glad to be here,” she murmured, feeling grateful for Blue’s acknowledgment about the stress of her nursing job. Blue had always been so supportive and kind with regards to her long hours at the hospital. When they were together he’d picked her up from work at all hours, surprised her with bouquets of flowers at her workstation and whisked her
off to romantic dinners after her shift ended. In many ways he’d been the ideal partner, which had made it all the more shocking when he’d abandoned her on their wedding day. Sure they’d been fighting leading up to the wedding, but in her mind, the love they shared had been more important than a few squabbles.
“Come on in the kitchen and grab a plate. Mom made brisket and mashed potatoes.
Her stomach rumbled at the mention of food. She was starving. “No, Blue. I don’t want to interrupt your dinner. I’ll come back in a little bit.” She felt a little awkward about walking into their kitchen and plopping herself down at the Donahue kitchen table. Once she’d been a permanent fixture around this house, but so much had changed since that time. Too much water had flowed under that bridge.
Blue grinned at her. “There’s cornbread,” he said in a sing-song voice.
There just had to be cornbread. She had a major weakness for cornbread, especially Maggie Donahue’s famous, mouth-watering cornbread. Her stomach made a loud, growling noise. Blue raised his eyebrow and looked pointedly at her stomach. “Come on, Sarah. Don’t be shy.” He grabbed hold of her hand and gently pulled her toward the kitchen.
The moment she crossed the threshold a raucous greeting went up. She looked around the table, counting all but one of the Donahue sons. Ryder was missing, no doubt standing vigil over Alec at the hospital.
Well, they didn’t call him the hero for nothing, she thought. Maggie, looking a tad better than yesterday, was sitting at the head of the table, a bright smile lighting up her face. They were all seated along a large butcher block table that seemed endless. The Donahue kitchen was a divine place. Filled with an abundance of light, gleaming hardwood floors and beautiful bay windows, it was a showstopper. Although the house was a large Victorian with a wraparound porch, it wasn’t fancy by any means.
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