The Way Home

by Belle Calhoune

  The kitchen was the most lavish room in the house, overflowing with copper pots handing from the ceiling, glass fronted cabinets, art deco tiles, granite counter tops and an aluminum refrigerator. Maggie and Alec justified this one splurge in their living situation, since the kitchen had always been a bustling place due to the need to cook for seven children. And her culinary skills still continued to please her sons’ palates, judging by the way the brothers were cleaning their plates with reckless abandon.

  Blue pulled out a chair for her while Mac got up from his own seat and handed her a plate along with utensils. Sarah smiled at Mac, who gave her a polite nod in return. Mac had never been the warm and fuzzy type, although she secretly believed his laid back demeanor hid a very kind, sensitive heart. Blue had never been specific about the details of the conditions Mac had grown up in prior to being adopted, but he had alluded to the fact that he’d been in the worst situation of them all. Looking around her, she considered it miraculous that the Donahue boys had grown into such wonderful, caring men. Not that they didn’t have their problems, but all in all they were remarkable individuals.

  Maggie filled Sarah’s plate almost to overflowing with her succulent brisket and a generous mound of her creamy mashed potatoes with garlic. Green beans and cornbread completed the meal. Feeling thankful, Sarah dug in. A contented sigh escaped her lips, causing Blue’s lips to twitch with merriment. He was seated across the table from her, a fact that made her a tad nervous. Ducking her head down, she continued eating while listening to the conversation as it flowed around her.

  Nick steepled his fingers in front of him on the table. With his dark head of hair and olive complexion, he was arguably the most intense of the brothers. Known for his single-minded focus and determination, Nick had become a self-made man with the creation of his restaurant by the time he was twenty-six. In the last year he’d opened two more restaurants across Cape Cod, both of which were doing very well.

  Nick looked around the table before speaking. “Doc says we have the option of doing an extended rehabilitation at a facility or do one of the programs that are outpatient, meaning he could stay at home.”

  “The problem with the extended rehabilitation facility is that there isn’t one within a fifty—mile radius that has an immediate opening,” Brandon added, a frown marring his handsome walnut colored face. “Rose has been on the phone non-stop all day making inquiries.”

  Rose Maddock was Brandon’s very capable and focused personal assistant. Sarah had always thought she more than earned her paycheck, since Brandon was a workaholic in the world of finance.

  “Your father wants to stay at home,” Maggie asserted, placing her palm firmly on the table.

  “He told you that?” Blue asked, a look of incredulity on his face.

  “Yes, he told me,” Maggie said, her lips planted in a firm line.

  “He spoke to you today?” Remy asked, a look of hope twinkling in his eyes.

  “No, he hasn’t spoken to me, although we all know he’s trying. I asked him some questions today, and he made it abundantly clear he wants to be at home. And that’s exactly where I want him to be.”

  “Ma, we all want him home, but the decision should be made based on what’s best for his recovery,” Wyatt piped up.

  Sarah cleared her throat. “Actually, the second option is just as viable as the first. Some studies have actually shown that patients do better when they’re surrounded with family and a strong support network. Being at home doesn’t mean second-best care.”

  “What kind of support network?” Mac asked in a gruff voice. Long ago she’d gotten used to Mac’s rough demeanor, and she no longer took it personally when he sounded like a bear. It was simply his way.

  “A support network could be many things. A private care nurse would be beneficial. And there are medical necessities that should be installed in the house to make things more comfortable for him, as well as setting up a temporary bedroom for him on the first floor.

  Getting up and down the stairs might prove challenging unless you have a chair lift by the stairs.”

  “There’s a bathroom right next to the den, so it might make sense if we convert it into a temporary bedroom,” Blue said.

  “Those are excellent suggestions, Sarah.” Maggie clapped her hands together.

  “Whatever would we do without you? Doctor Crenshaw has been wonderful, but you’ve been a godsend by filling in all the extra details.”

  A round of thanks went up around the table. Blue locked gazes with her. His face radiated gratitude. He laid both hands on the table and began twiddling his fingers. Sarah knew from experience what it meant. Blue was hatching an idea.

  He looked across the table at her. “So, I guess that brings us to why we wanted to speak with you, Sarah.”

  Prickles of awareness raced down her spine.

  “We wanted to know if you would consider being Dad’s private care nurse if we decide on option two.” Blue’s gaze was intense and she couldn’t escape the feeling he was trying to look deep inside her for an answer.

  Shifting her gaze away from him she looked towards Maggie, who shot her a tender smile. “We trust you, Sarah. And we know you have your duties at the hospital, but we’ll work around your schedule.”

  Warmth flooded her, and she fought a wild desire to run from the Donahue household. There was so much here she loved. The tenderness of this big, loving family. The host of memories of which she was a part—Christmases, Easter Sundays, New Years. But hadn’t she put all that in the past? She’d been forced to pack away all those memories when her relationship with Blue ended. Although she’d loved them all dearly, they hadn’t really been a huge part of her life in the past four years. It would have been too hard, too incredibly painful to keep in close contact with the family that had almost been hers.

  So how could she allow herself to go back into this warm, loving atmosphere without risking having her heart broken all over again? Because whether she wanted to confront it or not, being with the Donahue family was risky for her. It felt too good. It was a little slice of Heaven. And if she became Alec’s private duty nurse, how could she ever deal with saying goodbye all over again when he recovered? The first time she’d said goodbye to Blue and his family had been agonizing. Strong woman or not, she didn’t think she could do it a second time without coming apart at the seams. And now she was being put on the spot. Seven pairs of eyes were trained on her. Silence reigned in a house where such a thing was rarer than a Halley’s Comet sighting.

  “I-I don’t know what to say,” she fumbled.

  “Say, yes.” Blue’s words were simple, but spoken with bluntness and determination.

  She bit her lip, not wanting to disappoint them, but knowing she had to consider the ramifications of her actions. As much as she loved Alec, this situation could blow up in all their faces if it wasn’t handed properly.

  “I can’t make a decision this moment,” she began, noticing the disappointed faces at the table. “But, I promise to think it over and check with the hospital to see if they can lighten my hours so I can fit this in.”

  Maggie cried out. “Oh, Sarah, that’s wonderful. That’s all we can ask of you really. To take it into consideration.” Sarah got up from her chair and circled around to the head of the table. She reached down and placed her arms around Maggie, enveloping her in a circle of love. She felt Maggie’s body heave in a great sigh as she embraced her. There was still so much tension and fear surrounding Alec’s condition and his long-term prognosis.

  “On that note, who wants pie?” Remy stood up from his chair and made his way over to the kitchen counter. A large apple pie sat there along with a pie cutter. Deftly, Remy began dishing out the servings. Although Sarah would have sworn she didn’t have a single bit of room left in her stomach, the wonderful aroma of the apple pie swayed her opinion.

  “Mmmm, this is delicious, Maggie. The crust is amazing,” she raved as the fruity flavor slid down her throat.

  �
��I can’t take the credit. People from all over town have been dropping things off for us in droves. Pies. Casseroles. Zucchini bread. Soups.” She shook her head in disbelief. “The congregation has been wonderful. All the calls, cards and well wishes as well as the food. We are so very blessed to be part of such a strong, faithful community.”

  “This family is held in such high esteem. And so very loved.” Whether the Donahue family realized it or not, they were held on a pedestal by most of the townsfolk. Maggie and Alec were loving, hard-working people who had lived a life of selflessness. Adopting seven hard-to- place children had made them heroic figures in Breeze Point. And their seven sons were devoted and loving, not to mention accomplished and devoted. Who wouldn’t want to help such a terrific family?

  By the time dessert was finished, Irish coffee was being served. When her cup was empty and Brandon hauled an armload of board games to the table, she knew it was time to call it a night. Already, her short visit had turned into a full-on evening with Blue’s family.

  As Brandon placed a scrabble ledge in front of her, she got up from her chair. “I should get going. I have an early shift in the morning.”

  Despite protests from the family about not sticking around for Scrabble, Sarah stayed firm in her resolve to go home and get some shut-eye.

  Blue jumped up from his seat and placed a gentle hand on her elbow. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

  The cool April breeze swept across her face as they walked towards her car. The pungent scent of the ocean hung in the night air. When they reached her car she glanced towards Blue, immediately noticing the reserved expression etched on his face. “Is something wrong? You look someplace far away at the moment.”

  “I was just thinking that if your reservations about being Dad’s nurse are tied up in how you feel about me, I promise you I can arrange to not be here when you visit.”

  Blue’s words shocked her to her core. Did he think she was such a small person that she couldn’t handle seeing him at his family’s’ house?

  “Do you really think so little of me?” Hurt, she turned away from him and began walking the last few steps to the driver’s side door.

  “Sarah. Wait up.” Blue’s voice washed over her, as soothing as a summer rain. She felt his hand on her shoulder. He pulled her back towards him, turning her around to face him.

  “You’ll never know how much I respect and admire you. I hold you in the utmost esteem. The reason I asked is because I know this can’t be easy for you. Coming here after all this time. Seeing me at the hospital every day. Being surrounded by my whole family.” He ran a hand over his face. “I hurt you. Badly.”

  His face became fierce. “I did that. Me. I don’t forgive myself for it. There’s no condoning it. All I can do is live with it and learn from it.”

  “I want you to work with Dad. Not for my sake. But for Dad. And Mom. They deserve you, even if I don’t.”

  Blue’s words left her speechless. All this time she’d been working towards forgiveness without having even the slightest notion that he hadn’t yet forgiven himself. And she didn’t know why she felt such conflicting emotions, but she did. Forgiveness wasn’t an easy journey. She’d walked through it for four years and she wasn’t even certain she’d reached a state of grace where it was within reach. Just when she believed that she’d closed a door on that chapter of her life, something rose to the surface to remind her of her ex-fiancé’s betrayal. On the other hand, she hated Blue being so hard on himself. It caused her heart to seize up inside her and painfully contract.

  Blue loved Alec and Maggie to the ends of the Earth. All he wanted was for his father to heal and get back a measure of the life he’d been living before his stroke. He wanted healing. And she wanted it, too. For Alec. And Maggie. For all the Donahue boys. Especially for Blue.

  She wanted it for Blue more than she could ever admit, even to herself. “I’ll do it.” She spit the words out before she could change her mind.

  Blue’s eyes went wide. “You will? Really?” Surprise registered in his voice.

  She nodded, her curls bobbing as she moved her head. “We have to work out a schedule that doesn’t interfere with my hours at the hospital, but I’m confident we can figure something out.”

  “Sarah.” All he said was her name.

  She looked up at him, her body becoming boneless as something flickered between them. She couldn’t put a name to it if she tried, but it pulsed and flowed like an electric current. Blue reached out and placed his arms around her, swallowing up the space between them in an instant. Oh, how she’d missed these sheltering arms. Being held in his protective embrace was like a soothing balm. For a moment it took away all the bad things between them, so that nothing existed other than this one moment in time. It was funny how deeply you could miss something and not even know it until it was right there in front of you.

  When the embrace ended she fought against a mad urge to throw herself against his chest and seek the shelter only he could provide. His hazel eyes were blazing with emotion.

  “Thank you. On behalf of my family, we owe you a debt of gratitude.”

  She shook her head, refusing to accept such a huge thank you. It wasn’t as if she’d even done anything yet. “You don’t owe me a thing. I’m a nurse. It’s my job to help people.” This was far more than a job though. She knew that to be true, even as the words slipped out of her mouth. In accepting this position she would be placing herself in direct contact with the entire Donahue family. And Blue.

  “Well then,” Blue said with a knowing look in his eyes, “God bless nurses.”

  A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. “Goodnight, Blue.” Sarah walked the final steps to her car, willing herself not to turn around and look at him. As it was, she was going to have a very difficult task of not thinking about him in the quiet hours ahead as she settled in for the night. Those were the dangerous hours, when she had nothing but silence to sit up and think about the only man she’d ever loved. Before she drove off she cast a quick look at the spot where she and Blue had been standing. He still remained there, strong and true, his gaze trained on her. A shiver went through her at the intensity of his gaze. Somehow, when she hadn’t been looking, Blue had nudged himself into her heart. Truthfully, it felt as if he hadn’t ever left at all.

  “If you ain’t got love, then you ain’t got nothing.” Ten-year-old Wyatt Donahue

  Chapter Eight

  As the April weather turned almost balmy, things continued to improve with his father’s medical condition. Although his speech was still garbled, he was able to communicate better with the family by using a dry-erase board and marker to spell everything out. He was able to get full sentences out now, although half the time they weren’t intelligible. All in all, nobody was about to complain about the progress he’d made.

  It was lunch time, and with Mac’s help, they were making Dad’s favorite. Blue cheeseburgers with lettuce, olives and pickles. Although, instead of hamburgers, they were really turkey burgers on pita bread. Doctor Crenshaw’s orders were to cut back on fat and carbs in order to improve Dad’s diet. Alec Donahue had always been in relatively good shape, give or take a few pounds he’d put on in the last few years, but his habit of snacking in between meals and having a secret stash of sweets stored in the cupboard had caught up with him. Moving forward, things had to change in order to keep him healthy.

  A loud crashing sound had him racing down the hall with Mac at his heels. Before they reached the den they’d all had a hand in transforming into a temporary bedroom, they heard their mother calling out to them. “Everything’s fine, boys. Dad’s just letting off a little steam.”

  He and Mac exchanged weary glances. The stroke had left their father in a perpetual bad mood, which none of them were used to seeing. Today had been the worst since this whole crisis began. Blue couldn’t remember ever seeing his father so angry. It wasn’t altogether unexpected, since Dr. Crenshaw had warned them about the swift mood changes they m
ight witness during the recovery phase. However, he hadn’t expected his normally amiable father to turn into such a grump. Since his speech had improved a bit, so now he could articulate his dissatisfaction regarding everything from the weather to the size of the beans in his soup. Thankfully, his mother was taking it all in stride. As a woman of devout faith, she was using this opportunity to emphasize her belief in the sickness and health aspects of her marriage vows.

  “Too many people think marriage is just for the good times,” she’d said. “I married your father for love and love alone. Till the end of my days I’ll be caring for that man. He’d do no less for me if I was sick.”

  Blue couldn’t argue with that logic since he knew how much his father adored his wife. More than ever, he was seeing the devotion between his parents. He’d been a witness to it since he was a kid, but at that age, he’d hadn’t been focused on those aspects of his life. Being safe and warm and loved, as well as going to bed with a full belly at night had been the important things. Mom and Pop Donahue had been there the whole time, loving each other all the way down to the depths of their souls. They were committed to one another, through good times and bad.

  Who would love him as he grew old? Would he find someone who would honor their weddings vows the way his parents had always revered one another? If the bottom fell out of his world, who would be there to catch him? The unanswered question left a gaping hole inside him. He’d spent this morning working on a local Cape Cod assignment. Although his boss hadn’t been happy about his decision to pass on the overseas assignment, he’d understood that his family situation called for his presence in Cape Cod. Blue felt very thankful he’d managed to find a few local assignments to keep him busy. And the pay wasn’t half bad either.

  Even though Dad was as grumpy as a grizzly at times, it was a blessing his condition continued to improve. The ding of the doorbell had him checking his watch and moving quickly towards the front door. It had to be Sarah! She was always super punctual about her visits, as well as being incredibly professional. With an eagerness he couldn’t contain, he wrenched the front door open. Sarah was standing there, surrounded by fresh air, a glistening sun and the tangy smell of the ocean. Dressed in Betty Boop-themed scrubs, she looked downright adorable. Her long hair was swept up in a bun atop her head with a few tendrils hanging gracefully down the sides of her face. Even without a hint of makeup, she was radiantly beautiful. A natural beauty, as his mother called it.