“He was in for the night resting peacefully,” Brandon explained. “Mac had just run to the convenience store to pick up a few things. Next thing you know, Mom hears a thud and then a crashing sound. When she walked into the room, Dad was laying on the floor.”
“He said he had to go to the bathroom.” Ryder’s tone was clipped.
Blue pressed the point. “Why didn’t he ring the bell or press the intercom?”
“He says he’s sick of people helping him. It’s making him feel like an invalid.”
“Well, he is sort of incapacitated,” Blue said. “I mean, he’s recovering from a serious medical episode.”
Brandon motioned wildly with his hands. He brought his finger to his lips. “Shh. If he even gets wind that we think of him that way, there’s no telling how he’ll react.”
“He thinks everyone’s making a fuss over nothing,” Ryder explained, a frown marring his usually placid features.
“Fuss over nothing!” Blue exploded, fear still crashing over him in waves. “He could have cracked his skull with a fall like that. Or broken a hip.”
“Boys, you might want to lower your voices,” Sarah said with a frown, discreetly nodding towards the entryway.
“Let’s all say a prayer of thanks that he was just shaken up. He’s just drifted off to sleep.” His mother’s voice washed over him as she walked into the living room. Her beautiful features were drawn tight and her complexion was more ashen than usual. “It could have been so much worse,” she said she sagged into the comfort of the couch.
Tess and Sarah moved towards the couch and settled themselves beside her. Ryder shot him a look, and then nodded his head in the direction of the kitchen. Blue waited a few seconds, and then followed behind Ryder.
“What’s up?” Ryder rocked back on his heels, a sure sign he was excited about something.
“I didn’t want Ma to overhear us.” He rubbed his hands together, a grin breaking out on his face as he said, “Remember how we had that conversation about doing something nice for Ma?”
“Yeah, like a spa day in Hyannis or dinner and a movie.” He and his brothers had realized that their mother needed some down time. Ever since the stroke, she’d been running around like a hamster on a wheel, with little or no rest or relaxation. Her devotion to Dad was taking a toll on her. She was clearly exhausted, even though she met each day with a brave face on.
“Well, we figured we would invite a few of her friends to enjoy the spa experience with her, and then go for a nice dinner at Nick’s place.” Ryder’s face held a pleased expression.
Blue had to give him credit. It sounded like a great treat for mom. “She’ll love it,” he said, reaching out to give Ryder a hug. “Thanks for getting the ball rolling with this.”
Ryder’s expression turned sheepish. “It wasn’t exactly my idea. Tess came up with the concept all by herself.”
Tess? Lately all roads seemed to lead to Tess as far as Ryder was concerned. And from what he’d observed on a few occasions, there seemed to be something way more than friendship brewing. Maybe it was time he asked his brother about it.
He nodded his head in the direction of Tess. “So, what’s going on with the two of you anyway?”
Ryder frowned, his expression darkening. “What do you mean?”
“Call me crazy, but there seems to be some tension between you two. Romantic stuff. Are you two seeing each other?”
Ryder’s eyes bulged. “Seeing each other? Where did you get that idea?” The pitch of his voice became raised. His face became ruddy. “We’re friends. Partners. What kind of question is that?”
“Take it easy. I guess I misread things.” He took a good look at his older brother. With his dark hair and electric baby blues, he was known to turn a few heads in Breeze Point. With his heroic reputation and strong work ethic, he was considered very date-worthy by the single ladies in town. However, Ryder didn’t pay any of them any mind. He hadn’t dated once in the four and a half years since Lena died. And any time it was brought up, Ryder became defensive and angry. They’d all decided years ago to tread carefully regarding the subject of Ryder’s non-existent love life.
Knowing he might get a tongue-lashing for probing into his big brother’s love life, Blue decided to proceed with caution. “So, there’s nobody you’re even slightly interested in dating? It’s been a while, you know.”
Ryder rolled his eyes at him. “You’re about as subtle as a sledge hammer.”
Blue clapped his brother on the back. “I’m not being nosy. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. Not over the moon, tap dancing down the aisles happy, but I’m content. I can’t hope for more than that, Blue.” He became quiet for a moment. “I had it once, you know. What everyone dreams of...the love of a lifetime. Lena was the other part of me, my other half. And I can’t imagine finding anything that even comes close to that.”
He understood all too well. Once you had the love of a lifetime, it was hard to settle for second best. Like Lena, Sarah had been the penultimate, once in a lifetime kind of love everyone dreams about finding. “So why bother looking, right?” Sympathy for Ryder filled him, nearly to overflowing. He’d been able to witness firsthand his love story with Lena, and he knew how deeply his brother had grieved her tragic loss. How he still mourned her passing. And he thought, not for the first time either, how strange it must be to give up on finding love at thirty-one years of age.
“So, what about you and Sarah? You two look...pretty cozy.” Ryder narrowed his gaze, pinning him to the spot. “Are you together?”
Instead of feeling hemmed in by Ryder’s question, he felt energized. Just thinking about Sarah made him feel as if he could face anything. “Not together in the sense of being a couple, but we’re moving in the right direction. We went out tonight for dinner and it was amazing. It felt like old times.”
Ryder focused his ice blue gaze on him, skewering him to the spot. “Did you tell her about Florida?”
Tension gripped his neck at the mere thought of having that conversation with her. He cuffed the back of his neck and began massaging it. “No, not yet. I know I have to, but—.” His voice trailed off.
“But, what? You lost her once before because of words left unspoken. Don’t do it again, little brother. Don’t throw it all away. You’ll be kicking yourself the rest of your life if you do.” The intensity in Ryder’s voice wasn’t lost on him. Ryder was coming from a place of devastating loss. He knew what Ryder would give to have Lena back in his arms.
Was that what he was doing? Throwing his second chance with Sarah to the four winds? No way was he going to let that happen. If the last four years had taught him anything, it was that living in regret was a terrible state of being. Now he just had to convince Sarah that even after all these years they were still meant to be.
Once it was established that Alec Donahue was fine, Sarah was able to see the relief wash over Blue. His facial features softened up, his tone became less tense and his broad shoulders relaxed. He was no longer clenching his teeth. Although he asked her repeatedly if she wanted to catch the later movie, she was perfectly content to sit with the Donahue clan and catch up on the latest news. As she sat chatting with Tess she cast furtive glances in Blue’s direction. He was sitting with his brothers, trying with all his might to keep his voice low so as to not wake up Alec. Instead of raising his voice as they discussed their love of comic superheroes, he spoke in hushed whispers, and using wild hand gestures. She was watching him in his element, the place where he was at his best. A chill ran through her as she realized this was something she could get used to all over again. Being around Blue and his family felt like she was planted exactly where she should be.
Before too long, Blue drove her home. Once they reached her cottage, he got out of the car and opened her door for her, then walked her to the front door. In one fell swoop she was reminded about his chivalrous gestures. Blue stood on her doorstep, all arms and legs as he leaned against her do
or frame.
“Hey, I wanted to ask you a favor, if it’s not too big a deal.”
“Sure. Why don’t you come inside instead of standing on my stoop?” She led the way in, flicking on light switches that illuminated the path towards the kitchen. She placed her purse on the counter before opening up the fridge and taking out a pitcher of lemonade. She took two cups from the cupboard and filled them up, sliding one towards Blue.
“I remember you used to cut your father’s hair back in the day.”
The very thought of it made her smile. She shared a special relationship with her father and the time they spent together was precious. “Every Saturday afternoon, for as long as I can remember. I still do on occasion.”
He made a scissors motion with his fingers. “How about cutting mine?”
She wrinkled her nose. “You want to cut it all off?” Sarah reached out and touched the shoulder-length, blonde hair. She’d gotten used to it, and now it seemed as much as part of Blue as the rest of him. “What for? It suits you.”
“I’m looking for a change. And it’ll make Mom happy. She’s been bugging me for years to chop it all off. Says she misses seeing my face.”
Sarah smiled, knowing Maggie’s happiness was paramount to Blue. She’d never seen a mother with such adoring sons. The ties ran deep in the Donahue clan. Maggie did have a point. The longer hair didn’t show Blue’s gorgeous face to full advantage. She squinted at him, imagining how wonderful he would look with short hair.
“I’ll give it a whirl.” Blue raised an eyebrow and began stepping away from her.
“A whirl? On second thought, maybe I will go down to the barbershop.”
Sarah playfully swatted in Blue’s direction. “Hey. It’ll be great. I promise.”
Blue lightly grabbed her wrists and pulled her toward him so that she had no choice but to look up at him. Something radiated in Blue’s eyes—something that made her a little nervous and unsettled. She’d been deliberately trying to keep things light between them, so afraid of walking into a hornet’s nest of emotions. And now, looking up at him, she was speechless, absolutely tongue-tied. Blue reached down and swept her curls away from her forehead, his touch feather-light. “I can’t imagine you doing anything poorly. You’re just about perfect.”
The compliment flustered her, causing a blush to rise to her cheeks.
She let out a nervous laugh. “Perfect? Far from it.”
“Perfect,” Blue reiterated as his head began to lower towards her own. He leaned down and placed his lips on hers, his kiss tender and romantic as he swept her up in a tidal wave of emotion. She returned the kiss, hesitantly at first, feeling as if it was the first time they’d ever locked lips. Suddenly she was nervous, afraid of what all this meant. A second kiss between them in the space of a few hours? Things were moving faster than she’d imagined. All she could do now was give in to the feelings sweeping over her. She had no business fighting it. Within seconds it blossomed into an intense, deep kiss full of pent up emotion. It was as if they were both unleashing all the feelings from the past few years into this one kiss. Finally, they broke away at the same time, their gazes locked on one another, their breathing slightly ragged.
Desperate to lighten the moment, Sarah stepped away from her close proximity to Blue. “So, are you ready to do this? I think I’m going to need a towel and some scissors.” Blue nodded and walked towards the linen closet, pulling out an oversized towel. He paused to grab some scissors from the kitchen drawer. After draping the towel around his neck and handing her the scissors, he sat down in one of the high-backed chairs at the kitchen counter. Sarah stood for a moment and studied the back of Blue’s head. His hair was thick and a rich golden color. She ran her hand through it, loving the feel of the glossy strands as they trickled through her fingers. She leaned in to him as the smell of vanilla hovered in the air. “Last chance to change your mind,” she said in a low voice.
Blue shook his head. He let out a low chuckle. “It’s too late to turn back now. Let’s just hope I’m not like Samson. I need my strength.” Sarah grinned at Blue’s reference to the biblical character who’d lost all his strength after Delilah cut off his hair. Before she could second-guess herself, she began to cut off a few locks of his hair, wincing as the lustrous strands hit the floor. She prayed Blue didn’t regret her lopping off his hair, because it really was too late to turn back now.
*
Blue sat still for what seemed like forever as Sarah meticulously worked on his hair. For the most part he closed his eyes, unsure of what he’d gotten himself in to. When he opened one eye, he saw a clump of his hair sitting on the kitchen floor. When Sarah finally removed the towel from the back of his neck and wiped off any stray hairs from his clothes, he was instructed to open his eyes. With a satisfied grin, Sarah handed him a mirror. She was pressing her hands together, resembling a hopeful child on Christmas day.
Looking in the mirror at his new-and-improved self was a jolting experience for him. He felt like he was looking at the old Blue, the one who’d carried a lot of hope around in his heart. A hopeless romantic, a believer in love conquering all. Where had that Blue gone? In the last few years he’d had a little bit of a dark cloud hanging over his head. Not having Sarah in his life had left him jaded and worn down. Losing the love of his life had forever changed him. Staring at his reflection was a revelation. He wanted the old Blue back—the one who believed love was worth fighting for.
“Do you like it?” Sarah was wringing her hands now. It was pretty obvious to him she was eagerly awaiting confirmation that her hair cut passed muster with him.
“It looks great. I look good.” He let out a hearty laugh. “If I do say so myself.”
Sarah was grinning from ear to ear, looking very pleased with her handiwork. “You do look good, Blue. Not just good. You look very handsome and distinguished.”
“Distinguished? That’s a first,” he said dryly. “Thanks.” Their gazes locked. Blue stuffed his hands in his front pockets and rocked backwards on the heels of his shoes. “Not just for the haircut, which is pretty awesome, but for everything you’ve done for us. You really are an angel for the Donahue family, especially Dad. And me.”
Sarah bowed her head, effectively hiding her face from view. He had a feeling she was embarrassed by his praise. Sarah had always been a humble, spiritual woman. It was one of the things he treasured most about her. She had a gentle spirit and a loving heart. She loved the Lord, and treated everyone she came across as if they were a person to be treasured. And although she was one of the most visually stunning women he’d ever seen, she didn’t have a conceited bone in her body. Those were a few of the many reasons he’d wanted her as his wife.
“I’m far from an angel; just trying to pay it forward a little. Your family deserves the best. What your parents have done for this community we could never pay back.”
Blue nodded his head in agreement. Both his parents had devoted their time and resources to support outreach endeavors through the church they belonged to, Bay Street Church. As well as donating food from the Donahue bakery to local shelters and soup kitchens, they had started a program for at-risk teens in the community. In essence, they demonstrated the type of giving from the heart that he aspired to making a daily part of his life.
Saying goodnight to Sarah served as a test of his willpower. Although the thought of placing a goodnight kiss on her lips tempted him beyond measure, he didn’t want to make this evening all about their physical connection. There was no disputing that they shared an undeniable chemistry, the kind that came around once in a blue moon. But there was so much more between them; their history, hopes, dreams, family, love. As he bid Sarah goodnight, he couldn’t help but think that the greatest of these was love.
*
Once Blue’s car roared off into the distance, Sarah locked her door and sagged against it. Her body felt weak and trembling. She pressed a hand against her throbbing temple. Her mind was a whirl of confusion. What was she doing
? She’d gone out on an official date with her ex-fiancé this evening. A man she’d once sworn never to have anything to do with again. And despite the worry about Alec, she’d had the time of her life. She’d given Blue a haircut and ran her fingers through his hair. It was such an intimate act. And she’d loved every minute of it. She’d felt invigorated and alive and pretty… and cherished.
Cherished? Had it really felt that way? Or was she simply getting carried away by old emotions? Long-buried feelings. Everything between them was happening so quickly, like a runaway train racing down the tracks. She sucked in a deep breath. Clearly, she was in danger of being on board the train when it careened off the tracks. The question was: would she end up in one piece?
She loved him. The feelings were just as intense, if not more so, than four years ago. And rather than rejoice in the knowledge, all she felt was soul crushing doubt and fear. She didn’t want to love him! She didn’t want to be vulnerable again to loving him. It had cost her so much the last time.
The feelings she was battling against were futile. She’d been waging a war that had already been lost years ago. She loved Blue Donahue and she always would. Till her dying day, she imagined. And the very thought of it caused panic to race through her veins. Her painful past with Blue served as a devastating reminder of the harsh realities of loving someone. There were no guarantees! You could love someone with all your heart and soul, but there was no promise it would all work out. There were no guarantees of happily ever after.
After everything she’d been through—all the pain and grief and loss—she wasn’t brave enough to take another chance on loving him. Especially since she was as clueless about his feelings as she’d always been. She’d trusted him once before and lived to regret it. What had really changed since then? He was still a globe-hopping journalist who didn’t want to plant roots in Breeze Point. Her heart was on the line. When it came to Blue her heart was fragile. As soon as his father’s condition was stabilized, Blue would return to the life he’d built for himself—chasing news stories around the globe and following his professional dreams.
The Way Home Page 12
