Fallin' For a Thug

by Mz. Lady P

  “I know more than you, I been around longer. I’ve been a side bitch in my time, so I know what one look like.” She puffed the smoke from the cigarette she was smoking in my direction.

  I continued to pack my things while ignoring her. When I finished, I loaded everything in the trunk of the 2005 Honda Accord Ronnie bought me. He was going to have to get me something bigger because this wasn’t going to work when the baby was born.

  I stopped at Boston Market to pick up Ronnie and I a family meal for dinner before heading home. Too tired to unload the car, I grabbed the food and left my things in the trunk for Ronnie to bring in. The stench of Hennessey slapped me in the face once I opened the door. Ronnie was sprawled out on the couch drinking his life away with a faraway look on his face.

  “You ok?” I asked and closed the door behind me.

  “I’m straight.”

  “I brought dinner.”

  “Do you ever cook?” he snapped.

  “I would if I knew how to.”

  “Tosha knows how to cook,” he said to no one in particular.

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “You not Tosha!” He hurled the cup he was drinking out of into the wall. “I fucked up!”

  Tears began to fall out of my eyes as I stood there with the Boston Market bag in my hand and listened to him ramble on about Tosha. He went on to saying how she found out about me through some purchases that were made on his credit card. The part that broke my heart is when he prayed that she didn’t find out about our baby.

  “You told me it was over between you two,” I said in a hushed tone.

  “I lied, ok! I fucking lied! I was living in the moment not giving a fuck about the consequences and now that I’m on the verge of losing my marriage, I wish I would have thought of my actions before participating in them!”

  “What about us?”

  “There is no us. I have to work on my marriage first. If in the event things don’t work out then I know I have a home here with you. Until then, I have to see if I can fix things. Don’t worry, I will always be here for our baby, but Tosha cannot find out.”

  “B-b-but h-h-how could you lead me on like this?”

  “You knew from the jump that I was married.”

  “But I was also under the impression that you were leaving your wife.

  “Well, it’s your fucking fault for being so damn naive.”

  “Wow you can’t be serious right now.”

  “I’m done talking about this! Are you going to go and fix me a plate or am I just going to have to sit here and starve?”

  I wanted to tell him to take his ass home to his wife, so she could feed him, but I didn’t want him to take me seriously and leave. Instead, I closed my mouth and went in the kitchen to make him a plate. All the bullshit caused me to lose my appetite.

  While fixing his plate of food, I contemplated on crushing some pills and mixing them in his mash potato to kill his ass, but I didn’t want my child to have to grow up fatherless. My mother’s words danced in my head, her voice echoed over and over again like a broken record and it caused me to cry. I didn’t want to move back home and hear all of her “I told you so bullshit”. I had to make sure Tosha left Ronnie; that would be the only way I had a chance of having our perfect little family. She had to find out about my pregnancy, because that would end them for good.

  I went in the fridge and grabbed Ronnie a bottle of water, and then brought the food out to him. I made sure he had everything he needed before going in the room. I pulled out my phone and sent La’Quasha a text. I knew she hated Tosha, so she wouldn’t mind helping me out. Qua and I sent each other text messages back in forth concocting the perfect plan. I deleted all of the text messages once I heard Ronnie’s footsteps walk towards the room. I sent La’Quasha a good night text, so she wouldn’t text back something incriminating since Ronnie was known to snoop through my phone.

  “Who you texting?” Ronnie asked and took a seat at the edge of the bed

  “Why do you care? You made it clear that your wife is where you wanted to be.”

  “She is, but you got life fucked up if you thought you was going to be fucking nigga while you carrying my child.” He grabbed my phone and began scrolling through it. He tossed it back at me after he was done and went to go take a shower.

  I quickly grabbed his phone and located Tosha’s number. I typed it in my phone and saved it under Whitney. I then got up and undressed and joined my man in the shower.

  Chapter 14

  La’Quasha

  I haven’t heard from or seen Khalil since he took full custody of our daughter. He made good on his promise because the day the returned from their trip, he took her to his house and she hadn’t been back since. I was finally able to convince him to allow me some visitation rights.

  Despite what anyone thought, I actually did love my daughter. I just had a fucked up way of showing it. I often found myself yelling at her for the same reason my mother yelled at me. I was kind of happy Khalil took her because I feared I was going to damage her to the point where she became a replica of me.

  Now that Kha’Liyah was living with her father, he stopped paying my bills. Good thing I had some money saved up to cover me until I could get things back to normal. We was either going to be together or he was going to give me my meal ticket back.

  I walked across my room in search for something sexy to wear. I had to make sure my outfit was on point if I wanted to get my man back.

  “So, you just gon’ suck my dick then go see that nigga,” Eboe said as he lay in my bed with his hands folded behind his head.

  “I’m going to go see my daughter,” I snapped. “What the fuck you worrying about me for? I gave you the pussy, didn't I?!”

  “Then why you ain’t wearing no panties?”

  “I like the way my ass jiggle without them! Any more questions?”

  “Nah. You good.”

  “Good! Now shut up or get the fuck out!”

  “I’m out,” he said, grabbed his clothes, and put them on.

  “Where my money nigga ain’t shit round here free.”

  “I can’t believe you gon’ finesse me like that.”

  “Khalil, ain’t paying my bills, so I got to make my money some way.”

  “Oh, so you going around selling ass?”

  “Just to you since you so pressed for this pussy, why not? Hell I could catch a nut and get paid for it ya feel me.” I slipped my feet in a pair of UGG booties.

  He laughed before throwing a stack of money on the nightstand. Looking over the knot of money, I estimated it to be about ten thousand dollars. That would be just enough to pay my rent, car note, light bill, and leave me money left over for some new weave.

  I parked my car in the parking lot of the Children Museum of Atlanta, where I was supposed to be meeting Kha’Liyah and Khalil. I double-checked my face for any boogers before I got out my car and walked inside. I paid the ten dollars admission to get in and texted Khalil to let him know I was here.

  Before I could put my phone down, I spotted them on both doing a rock climbing activity. I took a seat at the table and watched them rock climb. Kha’Liyah kept saying that she couldn’t do it and Khalil was encouraging her by telling her that can’t shouldn’t be in her vocabulary because Kains’ had the ability to do anything. I was really jealous of their relationship. I wanted Khalil to love and tend to me the same way he did Kha’Liyah.

  “Mommy! Mommy! Did you see me climb to the top,” Kha’Liyah excitedly said as she ran up to me.

  “Yes baby, you did a great job.”

  “I know mommy and I wasn’t scared either!”

  “I’m so proud of you baby.” I hugged her. “Hey, Khalil.”

  “What’s up, Qua? Take her to the bathroom and I’mma go grab us a table and some food.”

  “How is it living with daddy?” I asked Liyah as we walked hand and hand to the bathroom.

  “It’s so much fun, mommy, daddy has a big house and I h
ave two rooms. One for me to sleep in and the other for my toys. Daddy always makes me read the dictionary before I go to sleep, but he says that’s so I can grow up and be very articulate.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What about girls, does daddy have a girlfriend?”

  “Daddy has a friend that’s a girl. He took us both to the movies and he bought us flowers. Daddy likes her a lot. She’s very nice and pretty.”

  “Really? What is her name?” My blood was boiling and I was beginning to see red. Not only did this nigga move on, but he had the audacity to have that bitch around my child!

  “Ms. Tissa.”

  “Do you know anything else about her?” I desperately asked.

  “No, mommy, can we go eat now?”

  “Listen to me, Kha’Liyah,” I said and grabbed her arm so that I would have her undivided attention. “I need to know everything. Don’t you want to be a happy family with me you and daddy just how we talked about?”

  “Yes mommy.” she cried

  “Shut up with that crying mess, Liyah, damn!” I yelled and grabbed paper towels to wipe away the evidence of her tears.

  “But I don’t know nothing else mommy I promise.”

  “Ok, baby let’s go.” I had to find out more about this mystery bitch who thought she was just going to come in the picture and take my spot. Khalil Kain was my man, that I had a baby for to secure my spot, and I’ll be damned if another bitch came in trying to take my position.

  Khalil was sitting at the table with a bunch of Frozen characters next to me. When Kha’Liyah finally spotted them, she couldn’t contain her excitement as she yelled and jumped up and down. Frozen was one of her favorite cartoon characters, everything that was made Frozen she owned.

  I took a seat with a look of displeasure on my face. I was highly irritated with all the attention Khalil was showing Kha’Liyah. I was sitting here in a pair of loose fitting jeans that had my ass looking super colossal, but all he was worried about was his precious daughter. Ugh!

  “If you don’t want to be here, you can just go.” Khalil said as we sat and watched our daughter get her face painted.

  “I’m good. Just stressed that’s all,” I began to fake cry.

  “What’s up, Qua?”

  “I been going through it since you took Liyah, she the only one I got. What am I supposed to do, Khalil, all I know how to do is be a stay at home mother to my only child and you took that away from me.”

  “I couldn’t get down with the way you was talking to her. You had my daughter having low self esteem and shit!”

  “I’m sorry, I just been under pressure that’s all. It’s not easy raising a child for five years alone.” I countered and hit him where it would hurt the most. I know missing five years out of Kha’Liyah’s life was a wound Khalil had that would never heal, so I decided to poke holes at it. “It’s not healthy to take her mother out of her life.”

  “How about I let her spend the weekends with you and we’ll see how it goes.”

  “Ok that’ll work.”

  Having Liyah for the weekend would give me back the security blanket of knowing that my bills were going to be paid on time. I was going to give it some time then hit his ass with the “I’m behind on my rent line.” Hell I spent so much of my savings on bills and I needed to put that money back.

  I wanted to question him about the bitch that he had around my daughter, but I decided not to ruin the mood. I was going to have my cousin Pookie and them look into things for me, I needed to know who this bitch he was fucking with was. She better be about that life because the heat I was about to bring her way was no joke.

  “You want to take her home with you tonight?” Khalil asked while we was getting ready to leave.

  “Not tonight. I promised I would help my mama move,” I lied. I had plans on going to the club tonight, but I didn’t want him to know I was neglecting my motherly duties to go shake my ass.

  “When did you and you mother get so cool? I thought you couldn’t stand that lady.”

  “We working on things I guess. She the only mother I got, so why not?”

  “That’s good. Liyah tell mommy bye we’re about to leave.”

  “Bye mommy,” Liyah said as she gave me a hug and kiss.

  “See you this weekend baby.”

  She then ran to the car behind her daddy. Her hair was perfectly braided in pretty pink bows with white barrettes at the end. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had that bitch playing in my child’s hair. I began to foam at the mouth as I watched them get in the car and pull off. This bitch Ms. Tissa was going to wish she fucked with the next bitch’s baby daddy when I got done with her.

  Chapter 15

  La’Tissa

  I had been spending so much time with Khalil and his beautiful daughter Liyah. Every time I looked at her, I got sad. The possibility of me never being able to have children had been weighing on my mind heavily. At first, it didn't bother me because I was more focused on my career, but all the time that I had been spending with Khalil had made me want a family more now than ever.

  Khalil had been on mind morning, noon, and night. I couldn't even focus on my job because he had invaded my thoughts. I hated to admit it, but I had fallen in love with him. My mind was telling me to run far away from him. My heart was telling me to go with the flow and give him all of me. Khalil had gone above and beyond to cater to my every want and need. The least I could do was give him me in return.

  My only worry was our relationship getting back to my bosses. That was the last thing I needed. I'd worked hard to get where I was. I didn't want to ruin all that I had worked for behind some thug ass nigga. Despite Khalil being a Thug, he was the total opposite when we were together. He was loving, caring, and gentle. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. Khalil had managed to come into my life and steal my heart. It was crazy because we hadn't even had sex yet. That was all about to change tonight though. I couldn't be around his sexy ass one more minute and not know how that dick felt.

  I'd been planning the perfect night for us. Liyah's with her mother for the weekend, so we can do whatever we want. I went to Victoria Secret and grabbed the sexiest, hot pink lingerie I could find. I made sure my body was covered, but still sexy enough for him. I was very self-conscious of the scar I had on my stomach courtesy of Joubert. Tears came to my eyes as I looked at my naked body in my floor length mirror.

  I cried because the scar reminded me of the abuse I endured at the hands of a man that claimed to love me. Because of him, I had walked around afraid to give myself to another man. Today was the day I let all things go that reminded me of Joubert. Of course, the scar was permanent. It was the thoughts about him that put my life on hold. For Khalil, I was letting all that negative shit go. Outside of my bestie Tosha, Khalil and Liyah was the only positive thing in my life right now.

  Regardless of all the success I was having with my career, it meant nothing if I didn't have anyone to share it with. Not only do I want Khalil, I needed Khalil. That nigga made life worth living and I didn't want to live life if he was not here to share it with me.

  The sound of my doorbell ringing brought me out of my thoughts. I quickly pulled the lingerie over my head and sprayed on some Pure Seduction by Victoria Secret. I put a thin coat of pink lipstick on my lips and quickly ran my wig brush through my freshly done sew-in. I exhaled and made my way to my front door. As soon as I opened the door, I almost died; it wasn't Khalil like I was expecting. It was my worst nightmare- Joubert.

  "What's up baby? Aren't you happy to see your first love?" He pushed his way inside my home like he lived there.

  "Get the fuck out of my house, Jou! You aren't suppose to be out or around me for that matter." I made my way toward my phone, but he beat me to it. He snatched it from the table and threw it up against the wall. That shit made me jump and cower in front of him. He yanked me by my hair and slammed me into the wall.

  "Stop fucking playing with me before
I beat your ass. I own you bitch and don't you ever forget that. Now, take that shit off and give me some of my pussy." In one swift motion, he ripped my nightie completely off of me. I was naked as the day I was born. All I could do was cry as he roughly rammed his fingers inside of me. I felt him staring at the scar that he gave me.

  "Damn, I fucked you up, huh? Let that be the reason why you never fuck with me again. I changed my mind. I'll get some pussy later. I want that mouth right now."

  He yanked me by hair and tried to force me on my knees in front of him. The sound of a gun being cocked back caused Joubert and me to jump. It was Khalil holding a big ass gun to the back of Joubert's head.

  "Get your hands off of her! You bitch ass nigga," Khalil said as he hit Joubert across the back of his head causing him to go down like a ton of bricks. For a brief moment, I forgot I was naked until I followed Khalil's eyes down to my stomach. I immediately covered up by wrapping my arms around my stomach.

  "Do you know who you fucking with nigga?" Joubert said as he tried to stand to his feet.

  "Correction nigga. You don't know who the fuck I am!" Khalil raised his gun and let off two shots that hit Joubert in his legs.

  "Ahhhh!" Joubert screamed out in pain.

  "Now, get the fuck out of here before the next round be in your dome. Don't you ever say shit to her nigga. If you see her walking down the street, your bitch ass better cross the motherfucking street. This is your one and only warning. Now get the fuck out of here bitch ass nigga!" Khalil yanked him up by his collar and threw his ass out of my house. I just slid to the floor and started crying.

  "Stop crying, Ma. I got you."

  "Why won't he just leave me alone?" I cried as Khalil held me in his arms. After about a minute of him hugging me, he threw my nightie at me.

  "Get dressed. You can't live here anymore, Tissa."

  "This is my house, Khalil. I bought it with my hard earned money."

  "I'll buy it from you."