Fallin' For a Thug

by Mz. Lady P

  The rest of the night I put on a smile. On the inside, I felt so bad for Khalil. He loved his mother and they were really close. For her to keep this secret all these years had me looking at her differently. As bad as I wanted to tell him, I knew that I couldn't. I just hoped Mama Rose told him sooner or later.

  Chapter 24

  Mama Rose

  I couldn't believe my old friend Anne was La'Tissa's mother. She was the only one who knew about Mustafa being Khalil's father. Over the years, we had lost touch with one another. Seeing her again brought back so many memories of the good times we had before I met Mustafa. I'd hated myself every day that I've kept this secret from Khalil. It was during Khalil’s time in prison I found out Mustafa was Khalil's drug supplier. Mustafa was well aware of who Khalil was. He was grooming my son to become a King Pin. I wasn't mad at Mustafa for that. I always knew that there was a possibility he would grow up and follow in his father's footsteps. It was in his DNA.

  I was sixteen and Mustafa was twenty-one years old. I met him at the corner grocery store that his father owned. They had a chain of stores throughout our small Atlanta neighborhood. I didn't know then that his father was a damn drug trafficker and Mustafa was next in line. We started a love affair that no one knew about, but my friend Anne. He was so good to me.

  I had a fucked up childhood, and my mother was never home. I basically raised myself. There were days I went without food. Mustafa was right there for me every step of the way. That was until I got pregnant with Khalil. His father found out and sent him back to their homeland. I was never to tell anyone that he was Khalil's father. I agreed because I was young dumb and naive. Not to mention, I didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I was in love with Mustafa, but I had to let him go.

  His father told me that it was against their religion for him to be with a black woman. When I gave birth to Khalil, I found out that Mustafa was already married to a woman back home. As Khalil got older, he started hanging around the stores that Mustafa's family owned, and I was under the impression that Mustafa was still out of the country. That was until he popped up on my doorstep one day with Khalil. He told me that Khalil would be working for him at the storefronts. I wanted to kill his fine, Arabian ass right then and there. Mustafa handed me a check for two hundred thousand dollars. Of course it was hush money, but I handed right back to him. I didn’t want to accept anything from them and would continue to struggle if I had to. Now I know the shit is wrong. Khalil and Mustafa are very close. I don't care how people look at me. Everything I did was for my son.

  I'd been wrecking my brain ever since I had that talk with Anne. Plus, I knew that La'Tissa had heard me. I didn't want her thinking low of me. I decided that I was going to tell Khalil, but I was not doing it alone. Mustafa was going to be right there when I did. We were going to do it as parents. Khalil deserved that much from us. When I called Mustafa and told him what we needed to do, he agreed that it was time to let him know, but he wanted all of us to come out and visit him in the next month. I didn't know how things would turn out. I just hoped Khalil would understand and not hate us.

  Chapter 25

  Tosha

  I loved Gunz more and more every day. I knew that with him was where I wanted to be. It was amazing how he catered to my want and every need. He was the perfect man in my eyes. I knew what he did for a living and I didn't let that get in the way of what we were trying to build. I've made it hard for him because I still had a barrier up and that barrier was Ronnie. I finally met with the divorce lawyer and had divorce papers drawn up. The lawyer insisted that he send the papers off, but I refused. After being with Ronnie all those years, I wanted to hand deliver them to him.

  If Gunz knew that I was parked outside of my old home waiting to confront Ronnie, he would kill my ass. For some reason, I wanted closure. I didn't want to do it over the phone or through the mail. I deserved to know why he betrayed me face to face. I had been sitting outside our old house for about two hours. Gunz had been calling me back to back, but I didn't answer. The last thing I wanted to do was lie to him. He didn't deserve that.

  About an hour later, Ronnie pulled up to the house. My heart sank as I watched him help Lori out of the car. Her stomach was huge. It looked like she was ready to give birth any day. I had to get out of my feelings. I didn't want them to see the effect they had on me when I confronted Ronnie. The last time they saw me I was battered, bruised, and broken. They would not see me cry or hurt from their betrayal. I just wanted him to sign these papers and be done with me. I waited until they got inside the house to knock on the door. The look on Lori's face was priceless when she opened the door and saw that it was me. After a couple of seconds of silence and staring each other down, Ronnie appeared behind her and our eyes locked. I was the last person they were expecting to see.

  "Can I speak to you for minute, Ronnie?" I shifted from side to side because I was nervous. I was having flashbacks of him beating me and I felt myself getting emotional. I shook it off and stood on my former doorstep staring him and her down.

  "Y'all ain't got nothing to talk about, Tosha."

  "I didn't come here to fight or argue with you, Lori. It's obvious y'all are building something. At the same time, he is still my husband and until he signs his name on the dotted line, we have a lot to talk about. Don't get it twisted bitch. The only reason you're still living here is because I've moved on to something bigger and better. I'm not a bitter bitch, but if I was, I could have been put you out of my house. Ronnie failed to inform you that both of our names are on the deed. I own this house just as much as he does." That bitch stopped talking real quick. Ronnie stepped outside on the porch and closed the door behind him.

  "I just want to say I'm sorry for putting my hands on you. No matter what, you didn't deserve that. I should have been a man and came clean about Lori and me. I can't take back what has happened, but you of all people knew I wanted a baby. You didn't want to give me a baby."

  "So, because I didn't want a baby at the moment and you did, you thought it was okay to step out on our marriage and get my best friend’s sister pregnant." I couldn't believe he was standing in front of me blaming me for his infidelity.

  "All I can say is I'm sorry. What more do you want from me, Tosha?" I didn't say a word I just handed him the divorce papers and a pen.

  "Get the fuck out of here with this shit. I'm not giving you a divorce, so you can be with that nigga."

  "I'm going to be with him whether we get a divorce or not. At the same time, you have a whole family. One would think a divorce would be what you want."

  "Get the fuck off my porch!" Ronnie threw the papers and the pen in my face. I bent down to pick them up and I heard the sound of a gun clicking.

  "Leave that shit down there. Pick that shit up bitch ass nigga!" Gunz was now on the porch with us. He had his gun aimed at Ronnie. I looked from Gunz to Ronnie. He looked like he was about to piss on himself.

  "So, this how you doing it now, Tosha. You bring your nigga to my house." I was trying to respond, but Gunz cut me off.

  "Don't say shit to her. I said pick the motherfucking papers." Gunz cocked the gun back and Ronnie hurriedly picked the papers up off of the ground.

  "Now sign them before I put some hot shit in you." I couldn't believe Ronnie signed the papers. Minutes earlier, he flat out refused to sign them. After he finished signing the papers, he handed them to me.

  "I'll let you walk away with your life today, but if you try some shit with me or my girl, that's your ass. Believe that," Gunz said as he put his gun back in his waist and grabbed me by my hand. Ronnie stood on the porch in silence like the bitch ass nigga he was. When I got inside the car, I attempted to say something to Gunz, but he turned the radio all the way up, drove off, and leaving my car behind. He ignored me the entire ride home. I knew he was pissed off at me. I just fell back and stayed quiet. He needed time to cool off.

  *****

  It had been several days since the incident
at Ronnie's house. Gunz had yet to speak to me. I was growing tired of him ignoring and avoiding me. We hadn't even slept in the same bed. Every morning I would get up to fix him breakfast and he would already be gone. I was hurt by his actions, but I knew he was mad at me for me going to see Ronnie without talking to him first. I was wrong, but I must admit I'm glad Gunz showed up. I was officially divorced from Ronnie. Now I could move on with my life. Despite being worried about Gunz being mad at me, I had bigger fish to fry. With everything that had been going on, I realized I hadn't had a period in three months and I came on like clockwork. So there was a huge possibility that I was pregnant by Gunz. The last thing I wanted was to be pregnant because I had never discussed this with Gunz. I couldn't believe we'd been so careless.

  I sat nervously on my bed waiting for the results to show on the home pregnancy test. So many things were going through my head. Gunz walked in the bedroom and tried to go inside the washroom, but I hurried up and stood in front of the door.

  "Move, Tosha. I need to take a piss."

  "The toilet is broke in here. Go use the guest bathroom." Gunz looked at me like he knew I was lying. He walked away from the door and I walked back to the bed. He turned around and ran inside the bathroom.

  "Damn it, Gunz!" I sat on the bed with my head down. I was scared to look up because I knew he saw the pregnancy test.

  "Ahem!” Gunz cleared his throat getting my attention. I looked up and he was holding the pregnancy test in his hand.

  "What does it say?"

  "It says you're pregnant." He threw the pregnancy test on the dresser and walked out of the room. The sound of the front door slamming and him speeding out of the driveway hurt my feelings. I didn't know what was wrong with him now. I wasn't going to try and find out either. This shit had me stressed the fuck out. I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up from this nightmare. I got undressed and climbed in bed. I fell asleep with the thoughts of where my life was headed on my mind. I knew that I couldn't stay in this house much longer with Gunz acting the way he was. I placed my hand over my stomach and I wondered what it would feel like when the baby moved for the first time. I shook that thought from my head. The way things were looking, there was no guarantee we were even going to keep the baby.

  The next morning, I woke up to an empty house. Gunz never came back. That was the final straw for me. Yes, I was wrong for going to Ronnie's house and not telling him that I possibly pregnant by him, but I didn't know what his issue was. I was not going to keep trying with his black ass. Fuck him. I got out my overnight bag and started packing me some clothes. I called and made me a reservation at the Doubletree Hotel. I wanted to call Tissa, but I knew she would tell Gunz where I was. It was his turn to wonder on my whereabouts. Not that he would care anyway.

  When I pulled into the hotel parking lot, I had to do a double take. It was Mariah and Joubert walking hand in hand. So, this is why the bitch had been avoiding us. Things were starting to make sense now. Joubert was in her house when Tissa and me went over there that day. I couldn't wait to tell Tissa this bullshit. I wanted to get out and kill both of their asses. How could Mariah fuck around with Joubert knowing he almost killed her friend?

  Chris Brown ain't never lied; these hoes ain't loyal. Once they were out of the parking lot, I went and checked into my room. As soon as I started to get settled in, someone started banging on the door. I looked through the peephole and it was Gunz. I opened the door and he pushed past me. He started checking under the bed, in the closet, and in the bathroom. I started laughing at his crazy ass.

  "What are you looking for?"

  "I'm looking for that nigga."

  "Boy please. Ain't no other nigga in here. I came here to clear my head. If you weren't being an asshole to me, I wouldn't even be here."

  "I admit I've been a little salty with you, but that was no reason for you to just leave the house like that."

  "You the one didn't come home last night."

  "I did come home during the night. I left a note for you on the refrigerator telling you I had business meeting with Khalil." I felt stupid now for leaving. I never even went in the kitchen. I just got dressed and left.

  "Wait a minute. How did you know I was here?"

  "The same way I knew you went to see that nigga. I have a tracking system on your phone. I had put on there for safety reasons and not to keep tabs on you. Let's go home. We need to talk about some things.” He grabbed my bag and we walked out hand in hand.

  Gunz had no idea that I loved when he took control. That shit turned me all the way on. He was like my Knight in Shining Armor; he'd always been there when I needed him most. I just needed to know where his head was at in regards to this baby. When we finally made it home, we both just sat in our bedroom waiting for the other one to speak. I decided to be grown about the situation. After all, I was the cause of all the confusion.

  "I'm sorry that I went to Ronnie's house without talking to you first. I was wrong for that. I just needed to get closure, so that I could move on with my life."

  "We're good on that. If we're going to be in a relationship, we need to make decisions as a couple. I was wrong for ignoring you. I just hated that you put your life in danger like that. Ain't no telling what would have happened if I wouldn't have shown up when I did. I love you, Tosha, and I don't want to see you hurt. Now that you're carrying my seed, I have to go through even more lengths to protect you." Gunz pulled me on his lap and lifted my chin up so that he could look into my eyes.

  "So, you're happy about the baby?"

  "Of course, I'm happy. I was just mad at you for trying to hide it. Don't ever hide shit else from me. Do you hear me, Tosha?"

  "Yes, Gunzell, I hear you." We kissed each other passionately. For the rest of the night, we laid in each other's arms discussing our future. I wanted a girl, and of course he wanted a little boy. We'd just have to see in due time. Now that I got my relationship back on track, I needed to holla at Tissa about this lying ass bitch Mariah.

  Chapter 26- Khalil

  With all the bullshit that had been going on in the streets, I had forgotten about meeting up with my newly assigned Parole Officer. I hoped and prayed that I wasn't going to be dropped. I knew for a fact I was going to drop dirty. The last thing I needed was to be locked back up and finishing a damn ten-year sentence. I had to be out in the world for Tissa and my baby girl Liyah.

  Life was real good for us right now. I loved the fact that Tissa had taken on the mother role quite well. She loved Liyah, but I knew that she yearned for a child of her own. Every time I brought up the subject, she changed it. I had faith that she would get pregnant and give me my first son. I had prayed hard for her to get pregnant. No matter how much dirt I did, I knew for a fact that prayer changed things.

  My new Parole officer was coming to do a home visit. Liyah and Tissa were gone out shopping for our trip out to see Mustafa. I was glad Mustafa had me running some of his storefronts, so that would be my documentation that I was indeed employed. The doorbell and I made sure that the house was on point before I opened the door. I could have shitted on the floor. What the fuck was Belinda doing standing on my doorstep? I thought I left this bitch back at the prison.

  "So, we meet again, Mr. Kain." She licked her lips and stepped inside of my home. This shit was not about to turn out good.

  "What the fuck are you doing here, Belinda?"

  "Once you were released I had no reason to stay there. A position for Parole Officer was available, so I hopped on it. I went through my caseload and low and behold, there was your handsome ass mug shot staring back at me. I had to masturbate right there in my office. I swear I could feel your dick inside of me. I missed you K’Money. Don't you miss me wrapping these pretty ass lips around that big ass dick?" She was now holding my dick in her hand. I pushed her ass away from me making her ass fall back on the couch.

  "Hell no. I don't miss your ass. You knew what the fuck it was, Belinda. We provided a service to one another. That's it and that'
s all. I'm about to get married, Belinda. I'm not fucking with your Thot ass like that. You need to do your motherfucking your job." This bitch was really trying my patience she was standing there with a devilish ass grin on her face.

  "Okay. Your wish is my command. Here, I need a urine sample and I also need to see documentation that you're employed. As you know, you're are not allowed to leave the state without putting in a request with me first." She handed me the cup and took out her folder. I had to think long and hard about this situation. I knew what this bitch wanted. If I just gave her what she wanted, I would be able to do what the fuck I had to do out in these streets.

  "What do I have to do to keep you off my ass?" I sat down on the couch and flamed up a loud blunt. This bitch had fucked up my whole understanding. This was some fatal attraction type of shit.

  "I want that dick whenever I call you. No questions asked." She stood up and started looking at the pictures on the mantle. "So, this is the bitch that has you wide open for her. She's cute."

  "Watch your motherfucking mouth, Belinda. That's my Fiancé."

  "Whatever, Khalil. I'll see you tomorrow at three. Don't be late. Ms. Kitty has missed you so much." She grabbed her things and left out the door at the same Tissa and Liyah were walking in. I watched as Belinda purposely bumped into Tissa causing her to drop all of the bags she was carrying.

  "Oops, sorry!" Belinda said and just kept walking. Tissa wanted to kill her ass. I could see it in her eyes.

  "Is that your new Parole Officer?"

  "Yeah baby. She is on real bullshit with a nigga too." I helped her pick up the bags and carried them all up to our bedroom.

  "Do I need to call some of my old colleagues and see if I can get you a new one? I don't like the way she looked at me. She has devious eyes."