Heroine Worship

by Sarah Kuhn

  “Let’s get her to the hospital,” I said. I kicked the remnants of my awful bridesmaid dress out of the way. “And somebody throw this godforsaken thing in the trash.”

  DIARY OF A REFORMED HALF-DEMON PRINCESS:

  PART 42

  By Maisy Kane, Half-Demon Princess Editrix

  Dear ’Friscans, lend me your ears! I’m afraid your pal Maisy has to get all unfun for just a moment. To answer the questions pouring in, yes, there was a big bridal fashion photo shoot at Pussy Queen earlier today, and yes, there were some technical difficulties. I’m afraid said difficulties mean I will not be posting video from the event. Your pal Maisy usually believes in freedom of the press at all costs, but I have received a decree from the powers that be at Aveda Jupiter, Inc., stating that if I release said video, I will no longer be privy to any exclusives regarding the #natevie wedding—and I know my readers live for that, so I must comply!

  Please don’t blame Evie for this, I know it’s not her choice. When I say the powers that be at Aveda Jupiter, Inc., I mean . . . well, just that. But don’t worry, #natevie fans, I’ll still be bringing you all the latest scoops—you can always count on your pal Maisy!

  COMMENTS

  MillsAlum97: Soooooo . . . no video, but did anyone actually go to Evie’s big bridal fashion show?! I know they weren’t letting anyone inside, but I heard she looked stunning!

  HaightHoney2000: I was there and she so did, but in that classic Evie way, like she hadn’t thought about it much. I don’t think she even did her hair, it looked so gorgeous and natural and she had just sort of thrown these little flowers in it! I want to do that with mine!!!

  EastBay4Evah: I was there too!! It ended . . . abruptly. Like, Aveda kind of ruined the moment by coming out wearing this BATSHIT INSANE MONSTROSITY . . .

  HaightHoney2000: There was no “kind of,” it totally stole attention from Evie! Typical Aveda Jupiter. Anyway, then Evie started giving a speech, but right in the middle of it, she seemed to be having some kind of, I don’t know, nervous breakdown? A stress freak-out?

  EastBay4Evah: Yes! And they shut the door and just, like, ended it. I’m betting Aveda was stressing Evie out again. Parading around in that awful dress, hogging the spotlight, trying to upstage Evie at her own bridal fashion show! She had to know that fugly dress is all we’d be talking about! She probably forced Evie to let her wear it!

  HaightHoney2000: Or maybe Evie didn’t even know that’s what Aveda was going to be wearing?!?

  EastBay4Evah: Word on the street is Aveda’s the one who called for the video to be suppressed. She really can’t stand anyone else getting attention, and Evie in that gorgeous dress was definitely going to get attention!

  MillsAlum97: Damn. As a bride, I would not stand for that shit. I know we love Evie for being so grounded and normal, but I kinda hope she goes full Bridezilla on Aveda’s ass.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “YOU KNOW, if either of us was going to literally die for fashion, I always thought it would be you.” Evie grinned up at me from her bed, where she was currently ensconced in a mountain of pillows. I gave her a wan smile in return, but I knew my face was creased with worry. She had regained consciousness and been pronounced fine at the hospital, and now she appeared to be mostly back to her sweet self.

  I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop replaying the horrific scene that had unfolded before us: Evie nearly killed by an invisible force, me unable to do anything except freak out. Maisy had begged to post the video she’d gotten from the fashion show portion of the day, but I’d put the kibosh on that immediately—even the most careful editing wouldn’t mask the truly bizarre turn events had taken, and I certainly didn’t need that preserved forever on the internet.

  Nate fluffed one of the pillows propping Evie up. She reached out and squeezed his hand.

  “Stop,” she said softly. “I’m fine.”

  “You could have not been fine, though,” I blurted out, slumping next to her on the bed. “I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to risk you like that, why I ever let you—”

  “Annie.” She dropped Nate’s hand and took mine. “I agreed to it, remember? You didn’t ‘let’ me do anything. And like I keep saying . . .” She leaned forward and exaggerated each word. “I. Am. Fine.”

  I squeezed her hand and nodded briskly, blinking back tears. Go away, Annie Chang, I thought fiercely. Get your meek little Clark Kent ass outta here. Aveda Jupiter has to think. I felt Scott watching me from the other side of the room and studiously avoided his gaze.

  “Cheer up, oldsters!” Bea piped up from her perch on the rocking chair next to the bed. “Dang, it’s like a mausoleum up in here. It’s not like any of you never had a brush with death before.”

  “True,” murmured Lucy. “Though this is perhaps not the best time to bring that up, Bea. As the kids say, ‘too soon.’”

  “I am one of the kids,” Bea said, with an eye-roll. “Anyhow. I just meant we should move on to talking about what we’ve learned about our pal, the invisible puppy demon. Obvs, it used a dress to attack us this time. Oh, and sorry, Evie, your dress got pretty beat up. I don’t think we can salvage it.”

  “Too bad,” Evie said, her voice faint.

  “It is too bad,” I agreed. “It really was perfect. But don’t worry, we’ll find you something even better. Even more fabulous. More dazzling.”

  “Right. Dazzling,” Evie said, giving me a look I couldn’t quite decipher. “Anyway, yes, the two brushes I’ve had with the puppy felt different. In the bridal tent, it was a shift in mood, like I was suddenly filling with rage. Whereas this time . . .” She winced. “It was a physical thing, actually pushing against my skin. Stabbing me, basically.”

  “And it stabbed my hands when I tried to touch it,” I said.

  “As if it found a new, more effective way to attack,” Nate said.

  “So the puppy demon is learning things?” Lucy said. “Delightful.”

  “If it has a higher brain capacity, as we’ve theorized, that makes sense,” Bea said. “But in order to do what? Once again, why? At Pussy Queen, it appeared to be attacking only Evie. As badass as you’ve become, Sis, what does attacking one person gain?”

  “Scott,” I said, “during the attack, you said you could feel the puppy even though you couldn’t grab on to it—does that mean you were able to use your spell to connect with it?”

  “Yes, that part of the spell was at least semi-successful,” he said ruefully. “I couldn’t hold the connection for very long, but I did get a sense of what it was thinking.” He frowned, as if trying to put the pieces together. “This time, it was like I was overloaded with all of its emotions at once: anger, frustration, and . . . conflict. Huh. You know, I think there was conflict within its thought patterns.”

  “Like it’s fighting with itself?” Lucy said, quirking an eyebrow.

  “Like it’s working with something else,” Scott said. “Or fused with something else. It was like part of it wanted to do one thing, and part of it wanted to do another.”

  “So there’s a whole other component we need to look for?” I pressed. “Something else that’s helping power the puppy?”

  “I’m not sure.” Scott shook his head, frustrated. “I wish I’d been able to connect with it for longer, but at the time, the most important thing was . . .” He glanced at Evie.

  “Getting that fucking dress off of Evie ASAP,” I supplied.

  “I’ll test the dress we secured in the trap after we’re done here, see if that produces any clues,” Nate said, his demeanor becoming more even-keeled as his analytical brain latched on to what needed to be done. “I’ll get to it as soon as I make sure . . .” His gaze slid to Evie again and she gave his arm an impatient poke.

  “Fine,” she repeated insistently, pointing to herself.

  “Maybe we captured the puppy. Maybe it’s, like, still inside t
he dress,” Bea said. “That would mean, hey, ta-da, our work here is done!”

  I nodded and resisted the urge to bite my nails. Somehow, I had a feeling it wasn’t that simple. It never was.

  “If it’s still in there . . .” Scott frowned contemplatively. “I’m wondering if there’s another component I can add to the guiding spell, something that will actually let me pull the puppy out of the dress. I think I can modify the spell I was working on to pull Evie’s power out of her back when she was posing as Annie.”

  “That guiding spell just keeps getting add-ons,” Bea said, arching an eyebrow. “Or is it up-sells? Like how I always end up getting candy at the movies on top of my extra-large popcorn. I like to mix them together—you know, sweet and salty—and—”

  “Let’s look at the other data this incident presented,” Nate interrupted before Bea could get too far into her junk food tangent. “What about the words Evie was saying?”

  Evie shuddered. “That part was extra freaky. I felt like I was trapped inside my body, I could hear my voice saying things, but it wasn’t me. It was so . . .” She shook her head, worry creeping into her expression. “I really hate being out of control like that. I . . .” She trailed off, swallowing hard.

  “You kept saying something about ‘new,’” Lucy prompted. “I would say you were expressing general distaste for the concept.”

  New.

  The word lodged in my brain. Simple, inane. Why had it pinged something for me back at the shop? Why was it pinging something for me now?

  “Carol!” I exclaimed out loud. Everyone looked at me in confusion. “Carol also said something about ‘new.’ After she was done yelling about her custom lingerie.”

  “So the puppy demon is anti-newness,” Lucy mused. “But what does that tell us?”

  We fell silent for a moment, puzzling it out.

  “Let’s keep thinking on that one,” Bea finally said. “Moving forward, if we don’t find the puppy in the dress—”

  “Then we need to figure out where it will strike next,” Scott said.

  I allowed myself to look at him. He met my eyes and gave me a tired smile that stabbed right at my heart. I hastily looked away.

  “Seems like dresses are its new thing,” Bea said, twisting a purple lock of hair around her finger.

  “Wedding dresses,” I said. “Or at least that wedding dress in particular. It may be our best lead. So in addition to testing what’s left of the dress, we should try to figure out why the puppy chose this dress in particular. And where it might go next.”

  Bea nodded solemnly. “We follow the clothes.”

  I never expected those words to fill me with such dread.

  “Shruti can probably help with that, maybe give us an idea of where to start,” I said. “Since she seems to know the local fashion and bridal scenes so well. Evie, do you want to reach out to Shruti and see if she’s willing to help? Are you feeling up to it?”

  “Sure, but I think you should do it, Annie,” Evie said. “She seems to really like you. She totally wants to be your friend.”

  “Me?” I said, my brow furrowing. “But you’re—” I cut myself off before I completed that thought: the one everyone likes better. “The bride,” I substituted. “That gives you more authority to—”

  “—to ask for someone’s help in a supernatural investigation that’s only loosely connected to the wedding?” Evie gave me a puzzled look. “Not really.”

  “Oh. Well, then, of course I can do it,” I said, feeling silly.

  She gave me a tired grin and I felt my worry rising back up, threatening to smother me. I flashed back to the night after the battle with Shasta, Evie unconscious in that big bed, with me desperately needing her to be okay. And knowing it was all my fault if she wasn’t.

  She could have not been okay today, too, an irritating little voice in my head reminded me. And it would have been all your fault. Again.

  “If that’s all, then Evie needs to rest,” Nate said. He kissed the top of Evie’s head and stood. “And Bea and I should get to work running tests on the wedding dress.” He turned to Scott. “Can you assist us with the magical component once we’ve done the initial run of tests? Say, in about an hour?”

  “I’ll be ready,” Scott said.

  As everyone filed out, I hung back, my eyes roaming over Evie and her giant mountain of pillows.

  “Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” she said. “I expect it from Nate; he’s weirdly overprotective considering that I can burn almost any danger I might encounter to the ground. But you? Aveda Jupiter? You know what it takes to be a superheroine, how tough we have to be. Do I have to get ‘I AM FINE’ tattooed on my forehead?”

  “That’s one look I would not recommend for your wedding,” I said, trying to give my voice that imperious cast.

  She giggled and I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt Aveda Jupiter crumbling around me and suddenly I was flinging myself on top of her, burying my face against her shoulder and trying to choke back the sobs that had gathered in my throat.

  When Annie Chang comes out, she doesn’t half-ass it. That’s one thing she has in common with Aveda.

  “We all felt so helpless,” I said, my voice catching. I couldn’t meet her eyes, so I kept talking to her shoulder. “I felt so helpless. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about how . . . how you could just be taken from me in an instant. I mean, I guess I thought about it that night when you were passed out after the battle with Shasta, but this time . . .” I took in a deep, quavery breath. “It was happening right in front of me. And I couldn’t do anything. I never thought about that when you were posing as me. When I made you pose as me. But oh god, Evie . . .”

  I forced myself to look her in the eye. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Please don’t . . . don’t ever make me have to be without you.”

  She gave me a slight smile, and I realized her eyes were filled with tears. “Ditto,” she said. “Ditto so hard.”

  I laughed a little, relief I couldn’t quite quantify whooshing through me. She pulled me into a hug and I hugged back hard. And just for a moment, I allowed myself to luxuriate in the soft swirl of emotions wrapping itself around me. I let myself just be Annie Chang.

  I didn’t have the strength to be anything else.

  After I left Evie to rest amidst her pillow mountain, I found myself at loose ends. I worked out for a while, my muscles knitting together, my Aveda Jupiter armor rebuilding itself around me. I needed to talk to Shruti about following the clothes, but first I wanted to see if Nate and Bea’s testing had led to any further information that might prove useful on that particular mission. I waited an hour, two. As my waiting bled into a third hour, I hovered around the basement entrance, hoping they would emerge. And somehow, I found myself descending the steps. It couldn’t hurt to check in, right?

  But Nate and Bea weren’t in the lab. It was just Scott, crouched behind his desk, sifting through a stack of papers.

  “Where are they?” I said, looking around. “Are the tests done?”

  “Not quite.” He gave me a tired smile. “Their analyses so far are inconclusive and apparently require even more analyses—like, analyses on top of analyses—so I suggested they go consult with Rose, see if she has further insights to offer.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “They couldn’t just call her?”

  “I suggested they go talk to her in person so they could have productive in-person work time. Also . . .” He hesitated. “I think they needed a break. They were both getting intense, staring at everything in that wall-eyed way where it’s easy to miss things.” He toyed with the papers in front of him. “That’s Evie’s fiancé, Evie’s sister. And they both had to watch . . .”

  Her almost die, my brain helpfully completed.

  I nodded briskly. I had to build myself back up again, emerge from my unfortunate lapse into Anni
e Chang–ness at full strength. It wouldn’t do the team—or our incorporeal puppy hunt—any favors if I was on the verge of falling apart.

  “How about you?” he said as I sat down across from him. “Are you okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” I forced a grim smile. “The dress didn’t try to murder me.”

  “No.” He reached over and took my hand. “But it hurt your hands, didn’t it? When you ripped it off of her?” He examined my palm, stroking his thumb over the skin. A flurry of tingles rushed down my spine, and I tried not to flash immediately to us in the gym, kissing, his gorgeous body pressed against mine. I shook my head and attempted to squelch the blush rising in my cheeks. It had been a mistake. We probably didn’t even need to talk about it since it was so obviously a mistake. I pulled my hand away. And changed the subject.

  “What’s this?” I said, gesturing to his stack of papers. “A new spell?”

  “No,” he said, covering it with his arm. “It’s . . . nothing.”

  I craned my neck so I could see the sections of the top piece of paper that were still visible. It didn’t look like a spell. I nudged his arm to the side.

  “Is that an application?” I scrutinized the grid-like formation asking for name, birth date, education, and so on. “For San Francisco University? Thinking of Bea’s future?”

  “Thinking of mine.” He tried to make it sound light, but it came out weighted. Something flashed over his face, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it—but it was akin to that deep seriousness he’d had right before I thought he was going to kiss me at the bakery, right before he kissed me in the gym, that rare bit of intensity that told me there was more going on underneath his mellow exterior than he tended to let on.

  “You went to college, though,” I pressed, wiggling the paper out from under his arm. I studied the application. It was still blank, devoid of the information required by that grid of tiny boxes. “And you don’t seem to be thinking about it so much that you’ve actually filled any of this out.”