Lexi helped Jess put on her cover-up, and then Jess sat down.
Seren sat beside her, holding Joseph in her arms. Jess bent over and kissed his cheek. “I love you, baby,” she said, half-crying as she held him close.
“Here come the EMTs,” Mason said, pointing at a parking lot at the hotel behind us. They had unloaded a stretcher and were hurrying down the beach in our direction.
They spoke to Jessica, making sure she was coherent.
“I’m fine,” she assured them. “I don’t want to go to the hospital.”
“Jess, you need to go,” I told her. “Let them check you out.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted. “I’m just tired.”
“You’re going.” It was a command, not a request, and the sooner she realized it, the better. “Let the doctor check your lungs, your oxygen levels, and make sure you’re okay.”
“I don’t need a doctor.”
“Load her up,” I instructed, pointing to her. “You’re going, Jess.”
“I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are,” I said more forcefully.
“Paxton, look at me,” her soft voice beckoned.
I obeyed. Wet strands of hair clung to her face. Her chest rose and fell, but her breathing had slowed. Her coloring was a bit pale, but not dangerously so, not in a way that would make me think she wasn’t getting enough oxygen. “You’re not having trouble breathing?” I needed to make sure.
She shook her head. “I’m okay. I don’t need to go to the hospital. I just want to go back to the room and rest.” She looked sincere, and I finally relented. “Okay, fine, but promise me that you’ll tell me if anything changes, if you have trouble breathing, or if….”
“I promise.” She gave me a small smile.
She signed a release for the EMTs, and I wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. Our group gathered the rest of our belongings and walked back down the beach to our condo.
As we rode the elevator to our floor, Seren gave Jess a one-handed hug, her other hand balancing Baby J on her hip. “We’ll keep Joseph with us,” she told Jess. “We’ll bring him back later when he’s ready to go to sleep.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Jess assured her.
“We want to.” Seren smoothed Joseph’s hair into place. “We love spending time with him.”
“Flanagan’s right,” Cade piped in. “We love spending time with him, and he loves spending time with me.” Cade slapped his palm against his pecs, and then he took Joseph’s hand and gave him a fist bump. “Ain’t that right, Baby J?”
“He likes spending time with me, too,” Seren said indignantly, giving Cade a hard glare.
Cade held his thumb and forefinger up, a half inch of distance between the two. “Maybe a little.”
Seren’s mouth gaped, and she thumped him on the chest. “You better watch it because sooner or later you will have to shower.”
Everyone grinned, except Cade. I’d been at the hotel in Ireland with them when Seren had stolen his clothes while he bathed and forced him to walk to the car with nothing but a towel covering his bare ass. It was too good of a story not to share, which was why everyone knew precisely what she meant.
Finally a smile crept across Cade’s face, and he kissed his wife on the cheek. “What I meant to say, babe, was that besides his own mother, you’re his absolute favorite.”
She kissed him back and patted his cheek. “That’s more like it.”
Cade wrapped his arm around her shoulders and turned his attention back to Jessica. “In all seriousness, we’ll take good care of him while you rest, and we’ll bring him back tonight.”
“If you feel better and want to join us, just give us a call,” Lexi added.
“Thank y’all so much,” Jess said. “I don’t know what I’d do without all of you.”
Seren reached out and rubbed her shoulder, which was still wrapped in the bulky blanket. “We’ll see you in a little while.”
The elevator reached our floor, and the doors opened. I held my hand up to make sure the doors didn’t close again and motioned for Jess to get off first.
“Holler at us, Pax, if you want to join us while she rests,” Cade said.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll stay with her. Just in case.” I stepped into the hallway and waved to them as the doors slowly closed again, leaving Jess and me alone.
I walked her to our room and pushed the door open for her.
Once inside, she was quiet, and I laid our belongings on the table, realizing at some point in the water I’d lost my sunglasses.
“I’m going to take a shower,” she said, her back to me as she went into her room and gently closed the door behind her.
I wanted to follow her, the overwhelming need to see her with my own eyes until I knew for sure she would have no further problems from her experience.
The curtains were opened wide, offering a spectacular view of the ocean. I walked out on the balcony, the wind ruffling my hair as I stared down at the sandcastle we’d built, and then my gaze traveled farther offshore, where Jess had gotten caught in the riptide. My heart thundered as I relived the harrowing experience of watching her in distress, terrified that I wouldn’t get to her in time, that she would drown and it would be my fault.
I swallowed hard, trying to imagine the world without her. What would have happened to Joseph? If his mother had drowned, I would have failed him, as well.
Unable to look at the waves without imagining her sinking below their depths, I turned away and headed to the bathroom in the hall. I needed a shower, too, and I hoped it would wash away the terror, along with the salt and sand.
After cleaning up and pulling on some shorts, I headed back to the living room, needing to see her, to know that she was fine.
She was nowhere in sight, and the door to her bedroom was still closed.
I made us a cup of coffee, thinking the warm liquid would chase away the chill of the afternoon, but when I was finished, she still hadn’t come out of her room.
Damn it, where was she?
I strode to her door and gently knocked. “Jess?”
No answer.
What if she had swallowed a lot of ocean water and was having trouble breathing? What if she had collapsed?
“Jess?”
She still didn’t answer.
I contemplated whether I should barge in. “Jess?”
When she didn’t answer a third time, I softly opened the door, not wanting to wake her if she had opted to lay down but unable to walk away until I’d seen her.
Afraid that I had waited too long and that I would walk in and find her lifeless body on the floor, I entered the room.
She was standing in front of the sliding glass door that led to the balcony from her room. While the main curtain was pushed away from the windows, the sheer still covered them, not exactly a clear view of the world outside the panes but one could still see the ocean.
She stood with a towel wrapped around her body, her damp hair hanging down her back.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You didn’t answer, and I was…I needed to know you were okay.”
She didn’t respond, and I approached her from behind. “You okay?”
She turned, her features crumpled as emotion overtook her. Tears filled her eyes, and she looked up at me as they tumbled over her lower lashes.
Panic seized me, and I grabbed her by the shoulders. “What’s wrong? Are you having trouble breathing? Is that why you didn’t answer me?”
She quickly shook her head. She tried to speak, but her words came out garbled. Sucking in a deep breath, she opened her mouth again, but sobs were the only thing that escaped.
I pulled her into my arms. “Shh,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. “It’s all over now. You’re okay. Joseph’s okay.” I rubbed her bare shoulders, hoping to ease the terror that clutched her. She had escaped the ocean’s powerful grasp but not the trauma that accompanied it. And neither had I.
The fear
of losing her forever made my breaths shorter, my heart beat faster, my visions clearer. What the hell had I been doing the last few weeks, months, years?
Closing my eyes, I laid my cheek on her head, listening to every cry that racked her body. Her arms wrapped around my waist, clinging to me with a strength I didn’t think she possessed. The wetness of her tears was warm against my chest. I held her tight, stroking her back, needing her to feel safe.
“I was afraid,” she whispered, her words broken with emotion. “I thought I was going to die, that I would never see my baby again.” A choked sob ripped from her chest. “She pulled back and stroked my face. “And then I saw you.”
“You didn’t think I would come for you?”
“Do you know how many nights I’ve waited for you to come for me?” she asked softly, fresh tears welling in her eyes. Her hands trembled as she skimmed my shoulders. “Do you, Max?”
Hearing her confession sucked the air from my lungs, her words just as powerful as the ocean that almost took her from me. I clutched her sweet face in my hands, thankful for the chance to hold her again. Why the hell had I ever let her go?
“Do you, Max?”
Max. That’s what she called me during our most intimate moments, the moments when we were the only two people in the world, the moments when she let me in. She had called me Max in the ocean, when she had feared for her life.
And now she called me that again. She had bared her soul to me, thoughts that had been bottled for years. I knew. I knew because she and I had a connection that couldn’t be severed, no matter how many miles between us, no matter how many years had separated us.
Words darted threw my mind, but none of them seemed sufficient, so I crushed my lips to hers. I wanted to taste her lips, breathe her in, encompass her, allowing nothing to separate us, not time, not distance, not pride or egoism.
She tasted so damn sweet, and I knew in that moment that I would never get enough. I ripped the towel from her torso and lifted her, cupping her perfect ass as she wrapped her legs around me. I carried her to the bed and lowered us to the mattress, her hands clutching my neck and pulling me back to her lips. I kissed her again, stealing her breath until we broke away, panting. Leaning back, my eyes fell to her breasts, and while one hand supported my weight, the other skimmed her nipples, the rosy tips tautening beneath my gentle caress.
Damn, she was beautiful. I had been eaten up with jealousy when I’d seen her dance at the wedding with another man. Unable to bear it, I’d finally turned away. As she lay beneath me, I wanted her to be mine, all mine.
“Please, Max,” she whispered, “I need you.” Her fingers traced the edges of my muscles as she slid her hand down my abdomen. She reached for the waist of my shorts, trying to push them over my hips.
I stood, removed my clothing in record time, and grabbed the condom that was tucked in my wallet, tossing it on the bed.
Pausing, I soaked in her appearance, her lips slightly parted, her lids half-closed, her eyes watching me. Her hands cupped her breasts, the soles of her feet against the mattress, drawing her knees in the air. Her legs were slightly spread, offering me an enticing view. I reached down and touched her, my fingers resting on the soft curls at the apex of her thighs while my thumb penetrated her folds, and slid forward, teasing her.
I lowered myself over her and drew her breast in my mouth as one finger traced her slit. She lifted her hips, beckoning me, and my finger delved deeper, parting her flesh as it glided along her slick heat. I circled her sensitive area, teasing until the sensual friction had her writhing beneath me.
“That’s it, baby,” I whispered against the slender column of her throat. She was close, and just the sight of her on the brink of an orgasm had desire ripping through me.
I increased my pace, enjoying the power I held over her body. She cried out, her body stiffening as carnal pleasure exploded beneath my fingertips. Watching her respond to my touch had me aching to be inside her. As she quietened, I slipped a finger in her tight core, rhythmically inserting and withdrawing.
She reached for me, encircling my hardness in her soft fingers. I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes as I savored the sensation. “Sweet, sweet Jess,” I murmured, her hand stroking me as I gritted my teeth against the intense pleasure.
I gripped her wrist and forced her to stop. Reaching for the condom, I rolled it in place, eager to plunge deep within her. I positioned myself over her and prodded her entrance, rotating my hips as I eased inside her. This was the girl whom I had loved with everything I had to give. She had held my heart in the palm of her hand and crushed it. When I heard that she had turned to Cade, my world had been blown into oblivion. Shrapnel from my splintered heart had been an excellent reminder that I needed to let her go because she had the power to destroy me. I promised I would protect myself from the vulnerability that loving her created, and the only way I could do that was to keep my distance. But as visions of her sinking below the surface of the turbulent ocean waters invaded my mind and as the fear of losing her forever pierced my heart, I knew that I should have fought for her, and the only consolation I could offer myself now was to never let her go again.
I thrust into her and filled her to the hilt. Pausing, I arched my back, savoring the way she clenched around me.
Her hands gripped my hips as she moaned softly, and I withdrew and thrust again, over and over until I had staked my claim. Jessica Beacham was mine.
When I had finished making love to her, we freshened up and returned to bed. We lay on our sides, and I cradled her, her perfect, round ass nudging against me.
I breathed in the scent of her still-damp hair. I felt her body move as she breathed, and I was thankful for every soft inhalation. The reminder that I had almost lost out on my chance to hold her like this again rang in my head like an alarm with no off button.
“Max?” Her soft voice cut through the silence.
“Yeah, babe?”
“I love you.”
It had already been an emotional afternoon, and it hadn’t been the first time she told me she loved me. Damn, it had taken the fear of her death for those words to take my shattered heart and make it whole again. Warmth exploded in my chest, and I tightened my hold on her, wanting to revel in this moment. Maybe it took all the things we’d been through for us to appreciate this life, to know what it was to be without the other, to know that in the grand scheme of things, nothing really mattered except the people that we loved.
I thought about Joseph. I had been so dead set against having children. If Jess and I had married before, maybe I would have never had any. But since she had returned to my life with Joseph, I’d learned to appreciate children. When I watched the two of them together, I knew that no love was more pure than the love a mother had for her child. I thought about watching football with Joseph, and I thought about all the things I had already imagined teaching him: playing sports, fishing, fixing things. Without Joseph, I wouldn’t have spent much time imagining what it would be like to be a father, and I realized that my own selfishness could have kept me away from that prospect forever.
She turned in my arms and placed her palm against my cheek, her thumb caressing my face. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. But after everything that’s happened today, I wanted you to know.”
Realizing she had mistaken my silence, I caught her hand in mine and kissed her fingers. “I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Us. It’s pretty obvious that this whole friends concept between the two of us is a farce. I want more from you than your friendship.” I closed my hand around her cold fingers, willing my warmth to be her warmth.
Her smile was tinged with sadness. “I do love you, Max, but it’s not enough. I have Joseph to think about, and I have to do what’s best for him. You don’t want children, and I’m not faulting you. You’ve always made your position clear, but I can’t be with you because in the end, it can never work out between us. I have to end this now because it
hurt so badly when we broke up before. I just don’t think I could go through something like that again.”
I traced my thumb over her lower lip. “When I said I was thinking about us, I was thinking about Joseph, too. I’ll be the first to admit that I never thought these words would leave my lips, but I want to be his father.”
My thumb arced across her cheekbone. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you, too, and I love Joseph, and I’m not letting you walk out of my life again. Marry me, Jess.”
Chapter 17
Aerobic
Jessica
How many nights had I dreamt of this very moment? His proposal was more aerobic than the most vigorous exercise. My heart thundered in my chest, beating so rapidly I could feel it vibrating throughout my body. I sucked in air because I suddenly felt like I couldn’t get enough oxygen.
His warm hand caressed my face, and it would be so easy to accept his proposal.
So, so easy.
I had fantasized about being in his arms on so many lonely nights. The thought of lying together like this every evening was tantalizing, and if I were the only one involved, I would accept. I would willingly take whatever consequences may come if the only person I had to worry about being hurt was me.
But my decisions affected two people now.
And what would happen if we married, if Joseph loved Paxton as a father, and then Paxton abandoned me again? What would that do to Joseph?
He claimed he wanted to be Joseph’s father, but I wasn’t sure if he fully understood what that entailed.
“Just say yes,” he whispered, his voice husky. “I’ll take care of y’all.”
I wanted to. The word was on the tip of my tongue.
But then I pictured my precious son’s face. Did Pax really understand what he was getting into? What if he regretted it after we were married? What if he decided he didn’t want to be a father?
The one thing I wanted most in the world was to find a man who could love me and my son. But was Paxton that man?
He caressed my arm. “What is it?”
Betrayed (Whiskey Nights #4) Page 23
