Living in Darkness (Bloodbreeders)

by Robin Renee Ray,

  “Well, if it was them,” Derek contemplated. “Then, what’d they do with your little brother’s body? Think maybe they hid it or something?”

  “I just don’t know, but I damn well plan on finding out.” A burning pang shot through my stomach, and I knew little ones or not, I was going to have to feed. I absentmindedly grabbed my belly, and the kids noticed.

  “You need to eat, don’t you?” Derek asked and I nodded.

  “We thought about that,” Bo said, standing up. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

  He returned shortly with a small lamb in tow. He pulled a small blade from his pocket, and said with a smile, “You drink your fill, and then we’ll enjoy the rest. No need to waste.” He looked down at the lamb and continued, “So, do you want a cup, or do you just...um, just...”

  “A cup will do just fine, Bo,” I reassured. I stood up, wiping the dirt off my backside. “But first, let’s find a place to stay and get settled in. It’s lonely in that crypt all by myself,” I smiled. In all actuality, I just didn’t want the kids out here by themselves again. I knew they had taken care of themselves before I came along, but I had lost too much to chance losing them too. Plus, I was ready to leave the place that had nothing but memories, all which end in the very graveyard that we were standing in.

  We loaded back into the car, and headed to Cross Plains, to the same house where that bitch Rebecca had taken me. As we pulled in behind the abandon house, I told them what to expect.

  “There’s a large basement, but it’s a mess. Grab your blankets, you’ll need them.”

  “Damn, it’s cold,” Derek said shivering. “Can we build a fire down there?”

  “Sure, if you want to burn the place down,” Bo replied sarcastically.

  “Actually, there is a wood-burning stove,” I said. Derek smirked at Bo, who rolled his eyes and went back to gathering things from the car.

  “Derek, you and Ashley gather as much firewood as you can, and Brandon, Bo, you can help me check the place out and get it ready.”

  “Alright,” Derek said, instantly turning to do as he was told.

  The other boys headed toward the house, but Ashley was too busy loving on the lamb to hear what had been said. Derek looked back, and sighed.

  “Ashley, you know better than to play with your food, so leave it alone, and come help me, okay?”

  Ashley’s jaw dropped open, and she sulked as she gave the lamb one last pat.

  “Okay, but you didn’t have to say it like that,” she said. Then under her breath, she muttered, “Smart-ass.”

  “What?” Derek asked.

  “Nothing,” she said, as she bent down to pick up some sticks.

  I smiled watching them, but it was short-lived as once again my mind drifted to my family. I couldn’t help but think that they had died because of me. Maybe not directly, but without a doubt, indirectly. The thought only added fuel to the burning hate that I felt, and it made me want to protect these children, whom I was growing to love, even more. They were depending on me more than I would have thought possible, and if at all in my power, no harm would ever come to them.

  “We found the stove. Want us to fire it up?” Bo asked standing in the doorway of the old abandon house.

  “Sure,” I replied, following him inside.

  Everyone made their way into the house, and before long, the fire was roaring. Again, I felt the stabs of hunger.

  “Can I borrow that blade, Bo?” I asked.

  “Want me to do it? I am the prime hunter,” he proclaimed proudly, causing the other three burst out laughing.

  “Yeah, hunter of rabbits or caged critters,” Derek teased.

  “Well, you eat, don’t ya?” Bo said, blood rushing to his cheeks.

  “Sure, Bo,” Brandon said, still chuckling. “Whatever, you say.”

  They kept laughing, and I couldn’t help but join in. Bo looked at me, and I held my hands up and shrugged. A grin crept onto his face, and he started laughing too. When we calmed down I told him, “I can manage, I’m an old farm-girl remember?” He handed over the blade, and I walked over to the lamb, which had been tied over a bed of twigs and grass, in our meager attempt to contain the mess that was likely to be made.

  “I can’t watch,” Ashley said, standing up. “I have to pee anyway. I’ll be right back,” she said heading to the door.

  I stood over the lamb, holding its tiny body between my legs for stability. I pulled its head back, stretching the neck long. I positioned the blade against the side of the throat, and pulled back swiftly. The blood flowed steadily, while I placed my hand as firmly as I could over the artery to keep the animal from bleeding out too quickly.

  “Hand me that cup, would you, Derek?”

  “Sure,” he said, handing it over.

  “Thanks.”

  I held the cup beneath the wound, and filled it to the brim. Three cups was all I needed to fill me up. I sat the cup down, and gently lowered the lamb’s limp body to the floor. As I was walking toward the others, Derek was walking away from them. He knelt down and picked up the cup. He lifted the dying animals head, and filled the cup with the blood it had left, which was only about a quarter’s fill of the cup.

  “What the hell are you doing, Derek?” Bo asked.

  “Trying it, want some?” he asked, holding the cup out toward Bo.

  Bo grimaced, and shook his head. Derek shrugged, putting the cup to his lips, and turned it up. He took several gulping drinks before putting the cup back down. He stood there, saying nothing, with a silly smile graced by a thin crimsoned line, but within minutes, his tender peach skin was turning a pale lime green right before our eyes.

  “I think I’m gonna be sick,” he said, and as the last word exited his mouth, he heaved, throwing up every drop he had drank, and then some. When he was done, he stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Maybe it would be better if it wasn’t so... warm,” he said, gagging a little at the thought.

  “That was a very brave thing to do, Derek,” I walked over to him, and rubbed his back. “Thanks for trying to make me feel normal.”

  “Don’t get mad,” he said giving me a funny look. “But I wasn’t doing it to try to be brave, or make you feel like anything... I was doing it so I could be like you.”

  “Well, baby, it’s not that easy,” I said affectionately. “You all have your whole lives ahead of you. Trust me, you don’t want this.”

  “Why, is everyone always telling me that? ‘No, Derek, you can’t do that’ or ‘No, Derek, that’s not what you want to do.’” He crossed his arms over his chest, and looked me square in the face. “I do, know what I want, and I want what you have. Can’t you see that, Renee?” he pleaded.

  “I think you may just see this as a different way of life, and it’s not,” I explained, and then pointed down at the cup that lay on the ground. “When you’re like me, that’s all you ever get. No more pie, fried chicken, or soda... that’s all gone.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I don’t need any of it,” he interrupted, pausing for a second. “Besides, you’ll need our help in Cuba.”

  I flinched a little at those words, mostly because I knew that in a way, he was right.

  “That’s not fair, Derek,” I retorted taking in a deep breath, and then let it out slow. “Let’s just worry about one thing at a time.”

  “Please, we want to talk about this,” Bo piped in from behind me.

  “I don’t know how to make this any more clearly,” I said, becoming frustrated. “I would have to kill you, and doing that would kill what little life I have left in me.”

  “But it won’t be like that for us,” Ashley interjected. In all the commotion, I hadn’t even noticed she’d returned. “You’ll be like our Ma. We’ll be a real family.”

  I walked back over, sitting down in front of the fireplace, and once again, all eyes were on me. “I’ve never tried it before,” I informed them. “What if you don’t wake up? What if you have to be special to make it work?�
��

  “Holy cow, so you mean you’re thinking about it?” Bo asked eyes wide.

  “Just thinking,” I said. “What if I take one of your lives, like I did Johnny? I sure can’t take much more, not like that.” I rested my head in my hands, and closed my eyes. I was mentally exhausted, and this was not helping.

  “Okay, guys, that’s enough for tonight,” Brandon said all the while watching me. “Don’t you worry on anything right now Renee. We know you’ve just been through hell, and we’re here to help you through it, so just kick back. We can start up tomorrow night where we left off.”

  “You know, you’re all more than I could have ever hoped for. I really appreciate everything.”

  “We could say the same thing,” Bo added. “Adults always assume we’re bad kids, and treat us that way. You’re the nicest person we’ve come across since we broke out.”

  “Ever,” Ashley added, “The nicest person ever.”

  “Yeah Renee, the nicest, and sweetest, and did I mention…”

  “I said, I’d think about it Derek,” I broke in before he could go on any more. “Good night, keep an eye while I’m asleep will ya?”

  “You bet ya,” Derek replied holding out his chest. “I won’t sleep a wink.”

  “Well, I’m headed down. After y’all are finished, come on down. We’ve got a long trip tomorrow night,” I said, pulling myself to my feet. “That means you too Derek.”

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay,” Ashley asked, “Because, I can come on down with you now, if you want.”

  “I’m fine, babe. Besides, you still need to eat, but thanks anyway.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure,” she said. “We all want to say thanks. You know, no one can hurt us now. You wouldn’t let ‘em.”

  “That’s right. I feel like we’re already family,” I said looking around at the four.

  “Damn straight,” Derek added with a strong nod, and the rest agreed laughing.

  We said our goodnights, and I headed down to the basement. Using the blankets we had brought, I made beds for everyone as best as I could. I took the far corner for myself, and got settled in. For the longest time, I just laid there listening to my little one’s laughing and joking with one another. They were without question mine now. What to do with them however, was a different story altogether.

  Chapter 25

  I woke the next night to find all four children crowded next to me on the hard floor. Tears welled up in my eyes, and for the first time for what seemed like an eternity, I felt like I belonged. My heart filled with love, because I knew that they, too, loved me. I didn’t move an inch, letting them sleep until they woke up on their own. It was Ashley who awoke first.

  “Hello, sleepy head,” I whispered. It was the same way I greeted little Edna every morning.

  “Hello,” she said groggily. “Sorry we all came over here, but we didn’t want you to get cold.”

  “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  It wasn’t long before the rest of them started to stir, and soon everyone was awake but Derek.

  “Man, it’s cold in here,” Bo said, rubbing his arms for heat. “I’ll go make a fire.”

  “Why don’t you stay in your blanket and let me do it,” I said before he could get up. “I don’t seem to feel the cold as bad as I use to.”

  “I don’t mind,” he said. “I do it all the time.”

  “I don’t mind, either,” I told him. “I just need your matches.”

  He smiled beautifully, and handed them over. “Thanks,” he said, already curling back up with the others. Brandon and Ashley had all but fallen back asleep, while I was talking with Bo. They all looked so innocent, lying there covered from head to toe, using each other for warmth, almost like that of a litter of newborn pups.

  I went upstairs, and after starting the fire, went outside to gather some more wood. When I returned, all four were huddled around the fireplace. They looked my way, and almost simultaneously, Bo and Brandon jumped to their feet.

  “Hey, you should let us do that,” Brandon said as they transferred the wood from my arms to theirs.

  “Thanks, but I’m sure I can handle a little firewood,” I said.

  “No offense,” added Bo. “It’s just the way I was raised.”

  “Then none taken. Next time, I’ll be sure and ask for help.”

  The boys dropped the wood next to the fireplace, and then sat down with the others. No sooner than our butts had hit the floor, they started in.

  “So, how are we going to do this?” asked Brandon.

  “Do what?” I inquired.

  “Make us like you,” Derek said matter-of-factly. “What else?”

  “When you said we could ‘start up tomorrow night where we left off’,” I shook my head and laughed. “You meant it.” They joined in the laughter, and once it died down, I sat there quietly, thinking.

  “So...?” Brandon broke the silence.

  “Okay,” I sighed. “Let’s say we do this.” They all started to get excited, so I held up my hand to stop them. “We’re just talking, alright? I’m not saying for sure this is going to happen, but we need to think some things through.” When they calmed down, I went on. “Let’s say we do this, and it doesn’t work. What then?”

  “Well, if the first one you try it on dies, then we’ll know,” Derek said bluntly.

  “Whoa, wait just a second,” I said, flabbergasted. “Am I the only one that just heard what you said? You’re willing to sacrifice one, just in hopes that it works?”

  “Sure,” Ashley said. “We’ve already worked it out.”

  “And we drew sticks to see who would go first,” Bo added.

  I shook my head in disbelief. “So, who was the loser?” I asked.

  “Loser?” Brandon said, pretending to be taken aback. “I won fair and square.”

  “Yeah, the only one that didn’t want to go first was Ashley,” Derek said.

  “Not because I’m scared,” she rushed in. “I just want to watch is all.”

  “It’s okay, Ash. I wouldn’t want to go first either. Trust me, it’s a man thing,” I said, giving her a little wink, which made her giggle.

  “Where do you want me, Renee?” Brandon asked.

  “Now wait,” I said throwing my hands up. “There are things we need to go over before I decide to do this.”

  “You drink my blood, I drink yours. Next time I wake up, bingo! Just like you. What else is left to talk about?” Brandon stated irrefutably.

  “Well, my nerves for one thing.” I snickered anxiously, stopping and becoming more serious, “And me taking your life for another.”

  “I’m ready,” he said stubbornly. “Plus, the sooner we do this, the sooner we can help your friends.”

  I looked away from him and stared into the fire. I wished they would stop playing that card, I thought to myself. As I sat contemplating about what I should do, Garvin and Tanda’s angelic faces appeared to me, entwined with the dancing flames. I’ll come back for you. I knew then that the kids were right. If I was ever going to get Tanda and Garvin out of that prison, I was going to need help. I couldn’t take them to Cuba as normals, they wouldn’t stand a chance, so that left me with one option. But is it worth the risk of losing the lives of four little one’s that I now love, to save the two who saved me? I knew what I had to do, and I prayed that I wasn’t making a grave mistake.

  “Are you guys absolutely sure you want to do this?” I asked.

  “Yes,” they all exclaimed at the same time.

  “And none of you have any family left?”

  “None worth mentioning,” Bo muttered under his breath.

  “What do you mean, Bo?” I asked.

  “Derek and Brandon’s folks are dead, and Ashley never knew hers,” he said. “But my father is still alive and well.”

  “Don’t you want to be able to see him again?” I broke in. “If not now, then later?”

  “Yeah, so I could kill him just like
he did my mother,” Bo fumed.

  “Oh, Bo, I’m sorry...”

  “Doesn’t matter, Renee,” He stopped me. “We all have each other, and that’s all I care about,” Tears glistening in his eyes.

  “Now do you get it?” Ashley asked, on the verge of tears herself. “We need and want to be like you. You’re all we have.”

  “I think it was meant to be this way,” Derek said. “That’s why we were all at the beach that night.”

  “Maybe you’re right, Derek,” I replied. “But what if Brandon doesn’t wake up?”

  “That’s just a chance I’m willing to take,” Derek responded.

  “Hey,” Brandon said, pulling Derek into a headlock. “I love you too, you little shit.”

  We all started laughing, and Brandon hollered out, “Let’s do this” The others started in too, whooping so loud that the only way to describe it was howling. I couldn’t help but join in.

  When the laughter had subsided, I looked to Brandon and asked, “Are you sure you’re ready?”

  “Never been more ready in my life,” he answered solemnly.

  “Martin turned me in three days,” I said. “But he said he could have done it all at one time. I’m telling you this because the reason he took so long was because he said, if he’d done it all at once, it would have been extremely painful. I just want you to be prepared.”

  “Come on, what’s a little pain?” Brandon stood reaching his hand out to me.

  I took his hand, and he pulled me to my feet. I started walking to the basement with Brandon at my side.

  “Where are y’all going?” Derek called out. “Can’t we watch?”

  “I think I’m nervous enough without everyone watching me, okay?” I said apologetically.

  Derek didn’t answer. He sprang to his feet, and ran to Brandon, flinging his arms around his neck. Brandon returned his brother’s embrace.

  “I love you, Derek.”

  “I love you, too,” Derek whimpered. “Please don’t die.”

  “I’ll be fine, I promise,” Brandon assured him. “Go back over there, and I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

  “Damn well better,” Derek said sniffling, as he wiped his eyes dry. “Or I’ll kick your ass.” They laughed, gave each other one last hug, and Derek returned to the others.