Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves)

by Marie Jem

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  Alex contacted me on Skype later that evening asking how my day was. I told him Katherine and I went to the mall to do a little shopping for his birthday gift.

  “Birthday gift?” he asked. “Claire, please don’t get me anything. I already have everything I could ever want and need. Most importantly, I have you,” he added.

  “It’s just a little something, Alex. Oh, and also a quiet dinner after work at a steakhouse of my choice in Hollywood. Please say ‘yes’”, I pleaded.

  “All right, but does it have to be a big deal? I mean I could cook for us at my place and we could just relax,” he replied.

  “You’re not being fair, Alex. I never get to treat you to dinner. At least let me take you out for a change, since it’s your birthday. It’s just a small gift and a dinner. You will survive, I promise,” I joked.

  “Okay, baby. Anything for you.” Alex really didn’t like to be the center of attention. He liked making others happy, which I found to be one of his positive sides. He seemed very happy about the procedures they were able to perform while in Guatemala. He really wished I had gone with him, so he wouldn’t be alone in the evenings and we’d spend quality time together. If I had been working at the hospital for a longer period of time, I would have taken time off and gone with him, but it hadn’t been long enough to request a vacation. Alex didn’t have any early surgeries booked the following day, so we talked for hours until I couldn’t stop yawning.

  “I think you better go to bed, beautiful. You’ve yawned at least twenty times in the past five minutes,” Alex laughed. We said our goodbyes, blew each other kisses and I hit the sheets.

  Around one in the morning I had the nightmare again. I awakened panting and sweating. I wanted to call Alex, but thought it was too late. It was two in the morning in Guatemala and I didn’t want to awaken him up when I knew he had surgeries scheduled the next day. Instead, I decided to text him. If he were awake, he would respond.

  Hey, just wondering if you’re awake. I had a nightmare and wished you were here.

  Less than a minute had gone by when my phone rang. It was Alex.

  “Hey, are you all right? I’m glad you texted me. I’ve been tossing and turning. Thank God my surgeries don’t start until after ten tomorrow morning,” he noted. We talked for at least a half hour and Alex told me how much he missed me and couldn’t wait to come back home. We both started to get drowsy and decided we should try sleeping again, and thankfully, soon enough I had surrendered to sleep.

  That Monday morning when I went to work, the flowers that Mark had sent me had wilted just as I had wanted them to. I disposed of them in the large trash bin in the Administration kitchen, as it was the last thing I wanted on my desk or anywhere near me. The flowers that Alex had sent to my condo were the only ones that meant anything to me.

  Walter called me to ask if I could pick up a few files he needed me to take over to Taryn. “They are too large and too important to send as an interoffice mail, Claire, so if you could please walk these over to Taryn’s office, I would greatly appreciate it,” Walter asked.

  “Sure, no problem,” I replied. I kind of hoped she wouldn’t be in her office and I could just drop off the files on her desk and leave. I took the elevator to the fourth floor to Taryn’s office and as I walked closer to her office, I could hear her talking on the phone. I knocked on the door lightly, “Come in,” she replied. She looked surprised to see me at first, but when she saw the files in my hand she knew why I was in her office. “Oh, hi Claire. I believe Walter sent those over to me,” she said, looking me over up and down.

  “Yes, Walter sent these,” I said, putting the files on her desk. She immediately put them in a hanging file cabinet in her office. As I turned to leave, she continued her telephone conversation. Taryn didn’t seem to know how to say “please” or “thank you.” As I walked down the wide corridor of that floor, I saw a tall man in scrubs walking towards me. I couldn’t tell who it was at first, but as he approached me, I noticed it was Mark.

  “Well, hello Claire, what are you doing in my neighborhood?” he asked. “Have you finally decided to come here to tell me you can accompany me for dinner sometime this week?” he asked. He had such an annoying personality it made me wonder if he had ever been on a decent date in his lifetime.

  “No, Dr. Kohler, I haven’t. I had to deliver some paperwork from Walter to Taryn. You seem to have forgotten the part where I told you that I have a boyfriend. Oh, and before I forget, please refrain from sending me any flowers from now on.” I was frank and straight to the point.

  I walked quickly to the elevators as I heard him yell out, “Call me if you change your mind.”

  “Don’t hold your breath,” I mumbled under my nose and made my way into the elevator. I filled Laura in on my experience on the fourth floor and she started to laugh. She said she felt sorry for me that I had to put up with Mark and his stalky personality. I wished he would just go after one of the nurses that he worked with and forgot about me. I could see Taryn and Mark together and wished he had sent the flowers to her.

  Around lunchtime, I had a craving for Bradley’s Diner and decided I would go there for lunch. I sat at our usual table and the same waitress, Deanie, approached me to take my order.

  “Hi there, haven’t seen you in a while. Where is your doctor admirer?” she asked.

  “I’m alone today, he is in Guatemala doing his pro bono work,” I replied.

  “Oh, that’s nice of him. You must miss him then. He’s really nice and seems very happy lately since you’ve been around,” she noted with a smile.

  “I’m probably one of the many girls he brings here,” I said, wondering what Deanie would reply to that. Her face got serious before she spoke.

  “Oh, honey, he’s never brought a girl in here before. He used to come here alone,” she replied. I smiled and ordered lunch, feeling happy that I may be Alex’s first Bradley’s Diner girl. I ate very quickly, so that I wouldn’t be late to work because Walter had added quite a few tasks for me that week. I thought of it as job security; the more work I had on my plate, the less chance of losing my job.

  My mother called me as I was driving home from work that evening asking me if I would like to join them for dinner, since she had also invited the next-door neighbors. I was so full from my lunch that I told her I would stop by to see them, but I probably wouldn’t have any room to eat. I parked my car on their driveway and walked inside the house to find my father working in the office.

  “Hi sweetheart,” said my father as he saw me walk inside the house. “Come here and give your daddy a hug.” I went up to him and gave him a big hug. I missed seeing him every single day. “So, tell me all about work and how everything is over there. I know Alex is the highlight of your job, but tell me about the other things too,” he joked. I told my father all about my job and how wonderful my boss was to allow me to learn so many new things, so that I could move on to bigger and better things in the future.

  I only had a salad, but as long as I sat down with my parents to have an evening together was just perfect. It was getting late and I decided to drive home and call Alex. I had texted Alex to let him know I was going to stop by at my parents’ house so he wouldn’t worry like last time. I told him I would call him as soon as I walked in the door.

  “Hi baby, I just walked in the door as well. I’m so glad you called. You have perfect timing,” he said sweetly. Alex told me about his day and how well the procedures went and how happy he made some children and their families. He sounded very happy and content with his work in Guatemala. We did not want to hang up that evening. We wanted to talk until sunrise, but that wasn’t going to happen, since it wouldn’t be a good idea for a surgeon to go into the operating room without any sleep.

  “I love you, baby. Almost one week down, only one more to go. I can’t wait to see you. Sweet dreams,” were his last words to me that night.

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  The next few days were a blur.
I was so busy with projects assigned by Walter that I hadn’t had a chance to think about anything other than work. Wednesday was going to be Alex’s busiest day in Guatemala, so I did not hear from him until very late that night when we talked on Skype. He complained of how busy and exhausted he had been and I complained of the same.

  He called me as I was driving home on Thursday evening, “Hey, baby. How was your day?” he asked.

  “Hi Alex. Ugh! What a day today was. I’m so tired and I miss you, which makes everything a lot harder. How was your day?” I asked.

  “I miss you too, Claire. I just can’t wait to come back home and see you. Call me when you get home, okay? I love you,” he added.

  I pulled my car into the garage and headed inside my condo. As I opened the door and stepped inside I noticed there were rose petals everywhere. There was a note from Alex instructing me to follow the rose petals. What was he doing back and what was he up to? I did as he asked me to and followed the rose petals. They led me up to my master bedroom and into the bathroom where I found Alex standing there, smiling at me. He had drawn a bath for me with rose petals and candles surrounding the large, oval shaped bathtub. He had on just a t-shirt, jeans, and an apron and looked as hot as ever.

  “Alex, you’re home! What a nice surprise,” I said as I jumped into his arms and kissed him as if I hadn’t seen him in years.

  “I decided not to tell you I was coming back early so I could surprise you,” he said, kissing me nonstop, everywhere. “Now, I want you to take off these clothes and step into this bathtub and relax while I cook us a nice dinner for two. I’m not due back at work until next week, so my job until then is to make you happy. Enjoy,” he said as he stepped out of the bathroom and headed downstairs to make dinner.

  The bathtub smelled like jasmine, so intoxicating and relaxing. I removed my clothes and stepped into the warm tub. I didn’t want to move or ever get out of it. Alex came back upstairs about ten minutes after I had stepped in and sat on the edge of the tub, talking to me.

  “You can join me if you’d like, Alex,” I offered.

  He frowned, “Claire, if I join you in there, I’m not going to be able to control myself. I will definitely take a rain check, though,” he winked. He leaned down and kissed me softly. “Take your time, baby. The food won’t be ready for at least another half hour,” he noted. What had I done to deserve such a wonderful man? Any other man would jump into the tub and seduce me, but Alex knew how to keep his goods in his pants.

  After soaking in that tub for what seemed like a good hour or so, I dressed and headed downstairs for dinner. There was a mouthwatering aroma surrounding the kitchen. Alex had made baked chicken thighs with sautéed vegetables and brown rice. I was so hungry I could have eaten the entire meal for two. He had lit candles on the dining table and opened a bottle of Cristal and poured it into two champagne glasses.

  “I could come home to this every day, Alex. This is beautiful and the food smells so good. The bath was heavenly and you’re just the most amazing man in the world,” I added as I hugged him tight, my head on his chest.

  He looked at me and smiled, “Anything for you, baby. You deserve more than this, but this is all I could come up with for now,” he kissed me and pulled the dining chair for me to sit down.

  “So, tell me how you were able to return early,” I questioned.

  “Well, we were able to do complete two to three surgeries per day, so our job is done for now. Maybe in six months I will return to Guatemala for more pro bono procedures,” he added. “Oh, before I forget, my sister Melissa would like to have lunch or dinner with us this weekend if that’s okay with you,” he said.

  “Sure, that sounds great. I would love to meet her. Wherever you two would like to eat is fine with me,” I replied.

  “I will see if she can make it on Friday night. I will ask her to come to Malibu and spend the night. She lives in Santa Monica, so I wouldn’t want her to drive out that way after a few drinks. We can go somewhere in Malibu, if you’d like,” he said.

  “That sounds perfect. I can’t wait to meet her,” I smiled.

  “She lives with her boyfriend, Paul so he will accompany her,” added Alex.

  Alex had met my close family and friends, so I was more than comfortable about meeting his sister. I wondered what she looked like and what kind of personality she had. I was very curious and excited about meeting her. Alex had told me she wasn’t a physician like him and their parents. She was a fashion designer. She had absolutely no interest in medicine and would not let anyone push her in that direction. She sounded like a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and I liked that.

  “I think the jet lag is finally getting to me,” Alex said. “Now I’m starting to feel extremely tired and sleepy. I guess the champagne isn’t helping either,” he chuckled. “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and sleep comfortably tonight for a change. That hotel bed was cold and lonely without you there with me,” he smiled.

  “You go to bed, Alex. I will clean up here. You’ve already done so much; cooking, rose petals, candles, champagne, bath…shall I go on? At the least I should clean up,” I replied.

  “Let’s clean up together, so we can go to bed at the same time,” he negotiated.

  “Sounds like a plan,” I replied, kissing him softly on his warm lips.

  “Oh, I got chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. We have to have that with the remainder of the champagne before we go to bed. I don’t want the best part of the meal to go to waste,” we both laughed. After the place was all cleaned up, we sat outside on the veranda and enjoyed our chocolate covered strawberries and champagne.

  That night, Alex held me tighter and closer to him than ever. He was out like a light in just a few minutes. I couldn’t fall asleep right away. I was too busy with happy thoughts about his early return and all the wonderful surprises. There had to be something wrong with this man. He was so sweet, genuine, and handsome. He was a surgeon with a beautiful house in Malibu and the perfect personality. Why was he still single? Why wasn’t he married or in a long-term serious relationship? I thought about all the men out there who weren’t half as good as Alex, who were already married to beautiful, smart women and had a family. Was he meant to be mine? Was he waiting for me his whole life? Was he like one of those anti-marriage men who would remain single forever? The questions in my head were making it impossible to fall asleep. I observed Alex as he slept, admiring his good looks. At least when he was asleep, he wouldn’t notice the staring. Even in the dark I could see the outline of his beautiful chiseled face, his perfectly toned body, and full head of dark, sexy hair.

  Since I had been unable to surrender to sleep, I went downstairs and made myself a cup of chamomile tea. I curled up on the couch and enjoyed my tea and tried to make myself drowsy by reading a magazine. I heard footsteps upstairs and realized Alex must have awakened.

  “Claire?” It was Alex looking for me.

  “I’m down here, Alex. I couldn’t fall asleep and I didn’t want to toss and turn and awaken you. Go back to sleep, I’m fine,” I assured him. He came downstairs anyway. “Why did you wake up? You were in such a deep and peaceful sleep when I got out of bed,” I added.

  “I realized you weren’t next to me and you know I don’t sleep without you next to me. Come, lie down and put your head on my lap,” he sat down and gestured for me to stretch out on the couch. I put my head in his lap as he sat on the couch. He ran his fingers through my hair, making me drowsy and sleepy.

  “Alex?” I said.

  “Hmmm,” he replied.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I asked.

  “Ask me anything,” he replied.

  “Why me?” I asked. “Of all the women you could be with right now, why me? What is it about me that keeps you around? I know it’s definitely not the sex because that hasn’t happened in any form. So, tell me. What is it?” I asked.

  “Claire, if I have fallen in love with you without being intimate with you, that�
��s a dead giveaway about how crazy I am about you. You’re different. You’re very genuine. You have goals and ambitions. You’re smart, caring and kind. You’re beautiful inside and out. I really wish I had met you a long time ago. I wouldn’t have wasted my time with other women, trying to find my Ms. Right and encountering all the Ms. Wrong’s. If I had met you years ago, we would be married with at least three children by now,” he laughed. “Now, close your eyes and go to sleep,” he commanded. “You have to go to work in the morning.”

  I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier. I had no further questions for Alex. I was satisfied with his answer and finally surrendered to sleep.

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  Alex must have carried me to bed after I had fallen asleep, since I woke up in my bed in the morning when the alarm went off.

  “Mmm, call in sick,” begged Alex, holding onto me tightly.

  “Maybe next time,” I promised, kissing him. I packed my weekend bag, since I would be staying at his place and didn’t want to waste time packing after work, since his sister was going to visit him that night. He said he would take care of the dinner reservations for us to dine with Melissa and her boyfriend, Paul. I was going to meet Alex at my condo after work and we would drive to Malibu together in his car.

  Work was busy as usual that Friday, which was nice because the time went by very quickly. I was excited to go home and see Alex and spend the weekend at his place. Alex had cleaned up my condo, taken out the trash, and watered my plants so that they didn’t die over the weekend. We headed out to his house to meet Melissa and Paul.

  Alex had made reservations at Café Maurice, which was very close to his house so we wouldn’t have to drive anywhere far. He left the front gates open, so Melissa wouldn’t have to buzz from the gate. The doorbell rang and Alex opened the door slowly.