Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves)

by Marie Jem

  “I accept your apology, Alex. You really scared me today, you know? You were so full of anger that your eyes didn’t even look blue anymore. They looked black. You seemed to have turned into someone else,” I replied.

  “I don’t know what got into me. I’m really not a jealous person, but when it comes to you, I seem to be having a great deal of difficulty. I shocked myself too, not only you, Claire. I’m not an angry person at all. I’m just a little overprotective of you. Maybe it’s because I feel the need to protect you from men such as Mark, since you’ve been attacked before. For me, Mark was that evil asshole that attacked you several years ago. Maybe it’s because I love you so much. I don’t know what it is or what had gotten into me, but I’m sorry for everything I said. I love you, Claire. I don’t want to lose you,” he added genuinely.

  “Apology accepted. I’m sorry also, for not telling you about the flowers and everything else. I promise to tell you everything that involves Mark from now on, okay? Can we eat the cheese and crackers now? I’m starving, Alex, and I’m sure you are as well, since we skipped lunch today,” I noted. Alex leaned down and kissed me more passionately than he ever had before with his hands on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him.

  “Let’s eat,” he said as we sat down on the dining table and finished the platter of cheese and crackers.

  Chapter 8

  Laura greeted me as soon as I walked into work the next morning with questions about Alex and if we had resolved our disagreement. She had worked things out with her fiancé and was very happy that they were finally compromising on the wedding and honeymoon plans.

  “We are trying to meet in the middle about everything, so I’m really happy about that,” she told me.

  I kept replaying Alex’s anger in my head and realized I would’ve been just as angry had another woman sent him flowers and dinner invitations. I would be exceptionally upset if he had chosen to keep it a secret from me. I imagined Taryn sending him flowers and invitations to dinner, not taking into consideration that he had a girlfriend. I would be furious as hell. I decided to send him a text.

  Just wanted to say hello. I miss you already.

  Hi beautiful. I miss you more. I love you.

  Are you available for lunch or are you too busy today?

  Never too busy for you. Bradley’s at noon?

  See you then.

  I wanted to go back to the diner, so we could make up for the previous day’s missed lunch that I had been craving. Alex was there before me and was sitting at our usual table. He smiled wide when he saw me and gestured for me to sit right next to him. Deanie came by to take our order shortly after I sat down.

  “Nice to see you two happy again,” she said. “I didn’t like the way you stormed out of here yesterday before you even ordered,” she said.

  “We worked out our issues,” said Alex, looking at me, smiling. I smiled back, holding his hand as we ordered our lunch. “So, Mark was talking about you again today,” Alex started. I frowned at him because I really did not want to hear that man’s name. “Don’t worry, baby, I kept my cool and did not say or do anything wrong. He just kept asking me why a girl like you would not accept a date with a smart guy like him. He’s not handling the rejection well and was asking me for advice. I told him that it’s probably not a good idea to ask out a woman who has told you she has a boyfriend. I advised him that it’s not the right thing to do and to let it go. If she’s interested, then she will accept your offer when or if she is single again,” he added.

  “I’m impressed, Alex. You kept your cool, played it off and gave him excellent advice. I’m very confident that it’s going to work,” I cheered. We enjoyed our lunch together before I drove back to work and completed a big project I had been working on since the past week. I felt relieved that I didn’t need to worry about that anymore and could concentrate on planning dinner for that Friday night, since it was Alex’s birthday on Saturday.

  Laura gave me advice about what I should wear to that steakhouse, since she had been there a few times and loved the food and ambiance. She said it was very hip and romantic with beautiful city views.

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  That night, when I got home from work, Alex was already home, making enchiladas for dinner. The condo smelled so good it made my mouth water. I gave him a kiss and helped him set the table. I loved watching him cook. It was as if he was born to dominate the kitchen.

  “Alex, you are going to make me fat with all this good food you’re always making,” I joked. “Oh, on Friday, let’s carpool with my car because I won’t be able to hang my dress in your Porsche and your trunk is too small. It will wrinkle and you know how I feel about wrinkles,” I added.

  “Whatever you want, baby,” he replied.

  It would be much easier to hide his gift in my trunk, since it was so much roomier than the tiny one of his Porsche.

  Alex looked as though he had a rough day, so I asked him to go upstairs and take a shower and I would do the cleaning up, since he did all the cooking. He normally wouldn’t allow me to clean up by myself, but this time, I could tell he was so exhausted. “Thank you, baby. I’ll be right down and we can have a glass of wine together if you’d like,” he said.

  After the dishes were done and put away, I poured two glasses of chardonnay and waited for Alex to come downstairs. I heard his footsteps and looked up to see him in his Burberry pajama pants, shirtless. He really didn’t like to wear a shirt to bed or around the house. I didn’t mind, though. I enjoyed looking at his hard, muscular body, his wet hair dripping onto his shoulders. I handed him his glass of wine and he sat on the sofa, pulling me down onto his lap. “To us,” he said, lightly touching my glass with his. “To us,” I replied and took a sip. Alex was very quiet that evening, which wasn’t usual for him. He seemed to have a serious look on his face all evening.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, baby. Why do you ask?” he asked.

  “It’s just that you’ve been very quiet and your mind seems preoccupied with something. You’re just not your usual self,” I noted.

  Alex just took a deep breath in and exhaled. “Everything is good, baby. I guess I’m just a little tired, that’s all. I love you,” he added. He took my wine glass and put both glasses down on the coffee table and pulled me close to him as we lay down on the sofa. His arm wrapped around my waist from behind me, his nose buried in my hair. He held onto my hand and we must have dozed off to sleep.

  It was that white van again, someone chasing me from behind. I could see the shadow getting closer and closer from behind me. I ran as fast as I could to pass the van, but I couldn’t escape it. I was grabbed from behind, causing me to collapse. I must have awakened with a scream because Alex looked frightened.

  “It’s okay, I’m here. You had a bad dream. It’s okay, Claire,” he assured me.

  We went upstairs and I peeled out of my sweaty clothes and jumped into the shower. Alex was asleep when I went to bed, but noticed I was next to him and wrapped his arms around me again. I prayed that I wouldn’t have that nightmare again, so I could enjoy a good night’s sleep until morning.

  “It’s okay, baby. Go to sleep. I’m here and nobody’s going to hurt you, I promise,” Alex assured. The next thing I knew, it was morning and my alarm clock notified me that I needed to get up and start my day.

  Alex woke up at the same time as I did, but needed to leave the house earlier than I, since he had a few early appointments to tend to. He kissed me before he headed out, “I miss you already,” he said and was out the door.

  I used that opportunity to put Alex’s birthday gift box in my trunk. I decided I would get his birthday card during my lunch break, so that I didn’t need to worry about it last minute. The hospital gift shop had the most beautiful selection of greeting cards. I had so many thoughts in my head of what I would be writing in that birthday card. This was going to be his first birthday since we had been together, so I wanted to make the message special and to
let him know how much I appreciated having him in my life.

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  Friday morning finally arrived and I jumped out of bed much earlier that morning, since I wanted to wash and style my hair for our dinner date. I prepared my dress and shoes for that evening and hung it on my doorknob, so I would not forget to put it in the car. Alex gave me his clothes for the evening as well and I hung that right next to my dress. We would definitely need to change out of our work clothes before heading out to the W hotel for our dinner reservations.

  During my lunch break, I changed our dinner reservations to a much quieter, more romantic French restaurant at the W Hotel called Delphines. The steakhouse I had booked originally was going to be too noisy and I recalled Alex had requested a quiet dinner. I ran all errands that I needed to run and sat down and concentrated on what I would write in his birthday card.

  Five o’clock rolled around and Alex texted me to let me know that he was changing out of his scrubs and would meet me by my car in fifteen minutes. I had chosen to wear a very dark red, tight fitting bustier top dress. I slipped on my nude peep toe Christian Louboutin platform pumps and the dress seemed to get shorter as my height increased from the platform pumps. I touched up my makeup and was ready to meet Alex at the car.

  He was dressed in a tight fitting button up black shirt with dark blue designer jeans. His hair so perfectly styled, he looked as if he had stepped out of a magazine. He smiled big when he saw me approaching him, his white teeth sparkling even in the dark parking structure.

  “Well, well, well, you look amazing, baby,” he said as he examined me from head to toe, turning me around to have a better all around look.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself, Dr. Blake,” I replied.

  “Where are we going?” he asked, unable to return his eyes above my neck.

  “We will be dining at Delphines at the W,” I replied.

  “Oh, French cuisine. I’ve heard great things about it,” he said as he opened the car door for me to get settled in. He sat in the driver’s seat and started heading out to the W. He took my hand as he drove, “Thanks for planning a quiet dinner, Claire. I really don’t like to make a big deal out of my birthdays,” he said.

  “Anything for you,” I replied with a wink.

  Alex pulled my car into the valet parking section of the W Hotel. I walked to the trunk, opened it and pulled out a gift box and closed the trunk quickly. Alex looked at the box and asked, “And what do you have there, Claire?”

  “Just a small gift, it’s nothing. Remember I told you I just got you a little something?” I reminded Alex. I had secured the greeting card inside the box on top of the gift.

  We walked to the restaurant and let the hostess know we had arrived. “Reservations under Claire Morgan, table for two,” I announced.

  “Right this way, please,” the hostess escorted us to our table. I had requested a quiet corner booth, which I knew Alex would like. She led us to the beautiful round private booth and seated us. Alex and I sat down very close to one another and I put my handbag and gift box on my other side.

  “I love it here, it’s beautiful. Thanks for planning this, Claire,” he said. “It’s very romantic and the menu looks pretty good. Shall we order something to drink first?” he asked.

  “Sure, I will have an apple martini,” I replied.

  Alex laughed, “A martini? I was thinking wine or champagne,” he added.

  “No, Alex, that will make me sleepy. A martini will be perfect for me,” I noted.

  He chuckled. “Okay, baby. Apple martini for you and Blue Label on the rocks for me,” he replied.

  Alex ordered our drinks as we looked over the menu. I left it up to him to order for the both of us, since he was very good with food. He ordered lobster and filet mignon. We started off with escargot, which I had only had a few times before. The martini was hitting the spot. Alex ordered chocolate soufflé for dessert, which was delicious. I asked for another martini and Alex ordered another scotch for himself.

  When the waiter brought us the check, Alex grabbed it first. He refused to allow me to pay for dinner.

  “Alex, that is not fair. I told you that I was going to treat you to a birthday dinner. Please allow me to pay,” I pleaded.

  “Claire, there is no way I would let you pay for all of this. Besides, I’m a man, and a man does not let a lady pay for his meal,” he added firmly.

  “Oh, Alex, why are you so stubborn? I can’t believe this. This is your night. It’s your birthday treat and you’re not allowing me to pay. It’s going to take me a while to get over this, you know that, right?” I reminded him. He just smiled.

  “Will you at least accept this small birthday gift I have gotten for you?” I asked.

  I handed Alex the gift box and waited very anxiously for him to open it. He began to unwrap the bow very slowly, then he unwrapped the wrapping paper. I was dying for Alex to open the actual box and find his gift inside. The card was on top of the gift and the gift was covered with tissue paper. I asked him to read the card first.

  My Dear Alex,

  The past few months have been the happiest months of my life. You have helped me overcome my fears and have protected me from the nightmares. I keep asking myself if all this is a beautiful dream that I will soon awaken from. Your love, kindness, caring, and affection have made my life worth living. I hope to share many more birthdays with you in the future. Happy Birthday!

  With Love,

  Claire

  Alex looked up at me and smiled. He came closer to me and kissed me passionately. Now it was time for him to open the gift by unwrapping the tissue. I waited patiently as he did so. He unwrapped the tissue to find a very beautiful rhinestone studded bra and panties from La Perla. He looked up at me confused as to why I had gifted him a pair of panties and a bra. I took out another envelope from my clutch and handed it to him. It was his copy of the hotel room key card.

  “Alex, this lingerie is for me to wear, and for you to peel off of me. We have two nights booked at this hotel and as a part of your birthday gift, I would like us to share two intimate nights here,” I said. “I’m ready to take the next step with you,” I said.

  Alex was speechless. His eyes widened and he didn’t say much at first, just came closer to me and started kissing me, pulling me as close to him as possible.

  “Claire, I don’t know what to s-say. Are you sure about this?” he asked.

  “I’m positive, Alex. I’ve been ready for some time now, but I wanted to make it special,” I replied in a whisper.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he said as he took my hand and helped me up.

  We walked toward the elevators that would lead us to the room. There was no one else in the elevator, just the two of us. As soon as the doors closed, Alex pinned me against the wall, kissing me passionately, his hands on my bottom. I had to pull away as soon as the elevator stopped at our floor, so we wouldn’t end up finishing what we had started before we made it to the suite.

  I had booked a modern large suite with a city view. It was one of the nicest rooms available at the hotel. I had placed a duffle bag in the suite during my lunch break full of necessities and toiletries for Alex and I for the next few days. I had snuck some of his clothing out of his house while he was at the grocery store. As we walked into the room, I went into the powder room to change out of my dress. I slipped into the La Perla lingerie that Katherine had helped me pick out on the day we went shopping for Alex’s birthday gift. Katherine could not wait to hear about the details of the special weekend. I left my platform Louboutins on because it looked much sexier with the lingerie. I stepped out of the powder room and Alex did a double take.

  “Wow! You look hot. Come here,” he commanded pulling me to him. He started kissing me softly on my lips, then moving slowly toward my neck, up to my ear lobes, then down to my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, which sent shivers down my spine. His hands began moving up slowly from my waist to my bra clasp and the next
thing I knew, that piece of lingerie was off. He threw the bra onto the floor as his lips slowly headed toward my breasts, biting and sucking on my nipples, causing me to lose my breath. His hands then moved down to my panties and he removed those swiftly as well. He then put his hands on my back side and grabbed hard.

  I stepped back a little bit, requiring some room and a second to catch my breath. Alex noticed my hesitation, “Sorry, we can take it slower if you want. Maybe it would help you relax if we took a hot bath together. Hadn’t you promised you’d let me join you for a bath one day? From start to finish?” he reminded, taking my hand, starting the water in the bathtub and removing his clothes. We both stood there naked, facing one another, our bodies touching.

  Alex stepped into the tub and took my hand to join him. The water was so hot that it was going to take some time to get used to. The fumes of the bath oil were of lavender and green tea, so calming and relaxing. He sat down with his back against the tub and pulled me on his lap, my back against his chest. He began kissing my neck as he caressed my breasts. One of his hands stayed on my breast, and the other headed all the way down there. Oh no. Down there. He slowly rubbed his hand up and down, up and down, until his finger found its’ way inside. I could feel the electrical current up to the pit of my abdomen. He added a second finger and the current became more intense. I felt myself sweating in that hot tub, my breathing more rapid by the minute. I could feel him hard against my back. He pulled out his fingers and turned me around to face him and started kissing me hard. He turned into a wild animal. He took my hand and put it on his erection and moved it up and down. I took over and moved my hand up and down much faster, causing him to groan. He stood up, stepped out of the tub and took my hand, so I could get out as well. He carried me to the bed and lay me gently on my back.