“I’ll have to go get cleaned up first,” she said. Reluctance settled in. She didn’t want to leave Spencer’s side, but they were no longer a couple and the comfort he had offered was not permanent. She cleared her throat and looked up at him. “Lyla is a lucky woman.”
“I’m not getting back together with Lyla,” Spencer said.
Cressa blinked as a small bud of hope began to blossom. “What do you mean? Don’t you think the best thing for Kimber would be for her parents to be together?”
“Maybe. Well, yes. If her parents were in a trusting and honest marriage. But Lyla can’t offer that.” Spencer slumped. “I’ll always love Lyla as the mother of my child. She’s good at it. But …” His voice trailed off.
“But what?” Cressa asked as she covered Spencer’s hand with her own.
“I don’t love Lyla like a man loves a woman. It’s true, she’s pretty, and I miss our little family. But even if we got back together, we’d never be able to reclaim that. I can’t trust her, Cressa. Not like I trust you. I’ve told her we’ll never be together as man and wife, and she accepted that.” He shook his head. “I can’t explain it. But I know we couldn’t make each other happy.” He leaned in toward Cressa. “Not like I was happy when I was with you.”
Cressa’s earlier hope gave a full bloom. “You trust me? You were happy with me?”
Spencer took Cressa’s fingers. “Yeah. I know we weren’t together for long, but I looked forward to seeing you every evening when you came home from work. Spending time with you and your parents offered me a sense of belonging. Their love, as well as yours, was extended to me. How could that not be some kind of wonderful? Yeah, I was happy with you. Well, until your physician friend showed up.”
“His name is Owen, and he’s gone back to Salt Lake for good.” Cressa turned toward Spencer. “You’ve got to believe me. He completely surprised me on that morning you ran into us together. I had no idea he was coming until I opened the knock at the door, and there he was.” She stopped. “Kind of presumptuous and cocky, now that I think about it. But that’s Owen. It works well in an emergency room, but it doesn’t carry over into real life.”
“Why did he come here?” Spencer asked.
“He wanted to get back together,” Cressa replied. “And I gave it a try for all of two weeks. But … I don’t love Owen. In fact, I told him that.” Cressa looked down at her fingers entwined in Spencer’s before raising her eyes to meet his gaze. “I told him I loved you.”
“You loved me enough to give me up for Kimber, didn’t you?”
New tears surfaced in Cressa’s eyes. “Yeah. If you and Lyla could make it work, I didn’t want to stand in the way.”
Spencer shook his head. “You weren’t in the way. You were the way. You showed me my worthiness, and in the end, that’s what helped me break free of Lyla.”
“I know we can’t exactly start over, but can we try again?” Cressa asked.
Spencer enveloped her in a tender embrace. “I thought you’d never ask,” he murmured as he tilted Cressa’s chin toward him. Cressa met Spencer’s soft kiss with hunger and was greeted with the taste of warm honey. She longed for more and pulled him close as he tenderly explored her mouth and wrapped his arms around her.
Cressa gave in to the cocooned warmth of Spencer’s embrace. She placed her cheek against Spencer’s soft flannel shirt and sighed. Along with opening herself to the sorrow of loss came the sweetness of peace and comfort that rose to meet her pain. Spencer was right. Her parents were alive today, and for the first time in years, so was she.
Thirty-Two
Cressa drove toward the McPherson ranch in the waning afternoon light. The golden sun met the mountains, and together they conspired to throw long shadows over the valley.
Spencer had asked if she wanted him to go with her to talk to Andrew, but she’d declined his kind offer. She needed to face her sin alone.
Cressa recalled the last time she had come to her aunt and uncle’s ranch. She had flown up from Salt Lake for Joshua’s wedding reception. She couldn’t remember the young bride’s name, but remembered feeling pity for her. Her naïve giggle made it clear she had no idea what was coming. In the end, even Cressa was surprised when her mother called to tell her that Joshua had beaten his young wife when she found his stash of drugs. Now, Joshua sat in jail. Cressa always wondered what had happened to that artless girl she’d briefly met.
Rolling down the window, she took in the light spring air scented with wildflowers. The meadows were rolling carpets of green mingled with yellow bells, buttercups, and shooting stars.
It would be a pleasant ride if Cressa’s visit was planned and she was meeting Andrew as family and a trusted friend. But Andrew didn’t know she was coming, and she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t accept her efforts to apologize.
Pulling into the long graveled drive, Cressa parked the car and walked up the generous front porch. The successful McPherson ranch was beautiful with manicured lawns and perfectly placed flower beds, but Cressa didn’t see any of it. Taking a deep breath, she knocked.
Aunt Jillina greeted her. “Why, Cressa. What a lovely surprise!”
Some of Cressa’s anxiety seeped away at the warm welcome from her aunt. “I didn’t know if you’d be home.”
“Just barely. We got in last night,” Aunt Jillina said.
“And how was Mexico?”
“Oh, my. It was wonderful. We loved every minute.” She stepped aside. “Come on in. I’m glad you’re here. I was going to call tomorrow and check in with you and your mom. Andrew has told me they’re doing well last time he saw them a few weeks ago. I’m so glad he was able to help.”
Cressa blinked, her aunt’s words knocking her off-balance. “Yes. Andrew has been a wonderful help. Is he here? I need to speak with him.”
“Yeah. He’s out with the horses. He’s the only reason we could leave,” Aunt Jillina said. “He took care of everything here, which made it possible for us to get away.”
Guilt crowded Cressa’s heart. Of course her aunt and uncle would rely on him to look after their ranch while they were gone. He had a full plate of responsibility without even leaving his home, and yet he had still found time and energy to spend most of his days with Cressa’s family.
Working with her and her parents wasn’t something he needed to do. He did it out of love for family, yet she had doubted him from the beginning. And from Aunt Jillina’s account, it didn’t sound as if he’d shared anything about the accusations Cressa leveled at him.
Aunt Jillina continued, “Go on around back. I’m sure you’ll find him.”
Hot shame crept into Cressa’s cheeks, and she was grateful to leave the house and her aunt’s unsuspecting company for the cooling spring evening.
Walking into the barn, she found Andrew feeding one of the horses. She came to the stall. Andrew looked up when he saw her approach. “Hey,” he said before turning his attention back to the bucket of grain he held. His voice held no surprise or happiness at seeing her.
“Hey.” She let herself into the stall and came to stand near Andrew. The sound of the horse munching his grain filled Cressa’s ears. She looked over the animal, a gorgeous bay with four white socks and a star on his forehead. “He’s really pretty,” she murmured as she reached over to pat the horse’s neck.
“His name is Ativeer, because he’ll go wherever he needs to go, even if he’s afraid. He’s been that way since he was a foal. His name means bravery and courage.”
Cressa continued to rub the horse’s neck. At least Andrew was talking to her. “Is he yours?”
“Yeah. I’ve had him about five years now.”
The horse finished the last of the grain, and Andrew set down the bucket just outside the stall door before straightening up and looking directly at Cressa, who wilted under his gaze.
“What brings you here, Cressa?”
Cressa fished in her pocket and pulled out the ring. “This brings me here,” she choked out. “I owe
you an apology, Andrew. Actually, I owe you more than that.”
Andrew glanced at the ring before looking back at Cressa. “I’m glad you found it.”
Hot tears of remorse spilled onto her cheeks. “You didn’t tell your folks about what happened, did you?”
“No,” Andrew said. “My parents are already struggling with the theft charge and how Joshua’s behavior has divided the family and this town. I didn’t want to add to their grief. I want your mom and my mom to be able to have their sisterly relationship.”
Cressa brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I’ve misjudged you in every way, and I am profoundly sorry. I’ll go before the court and be a character witness for you whenever you need me.”
Andrew turned to Ativeer and began stroking the horse’s neck; the horse softly nickered and swung his head to nuzzle Andrew. “I don’t want you to make that choice out of guilt, Cressa, or because you think you owe me. You’ll regret it later if you do that. Take some time to think about it first.”
Cressa appreciated Andrew’s words. She would take his advice, but her decision was already made. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “My parents miss you. Would you be willing to work with us again? I know you’ll have to gear up for the ranch work, but a couple or maybe three days a week would be great until you get too busy around here.”
He faced her as a small tick of a smile came to Andrew’s mouth. “My folks have hoped I’d get a job outside of the ranch. They don’t want me to become a hermit. They’d be happy to see me continue working for you and your folks.”
“And what about you? Do you think you can come back after everything that’s happened? Can you forgive me for this?”
Andrew was thoughtful. “There will come a day when I’ll go before a judge and ask for mercy,” he said. “And I need to offer the thing I’m asking for.” He nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.”
Cressa reached out and touched Andrew’s arm, and he pulled her into a cousinly hug. The warmth of Andrew’s forgiveness burst through Cressa’s cold shame. “Thank you,” she whispered against Andrew’s soft flannel shirt.
“We have so little family, and we need to stay together,” Andrew said.
Cressa agreed as relief, gratitude, and a deeper bond of love breezed through her like a warm spring wind. “I hope someday you’ll tell me your side of this story about the attempted cattle rustling because I have a feeling it’s not the same as Joshua’s version.”
Andrew gave a sharp laugh. “You’ve got that right.” He moved from the horse and opened the stall door. Cressa walked through followed by Andrew. “But let’s save that conversation for another day. Maybe now, you’d like to stay for dinner.”
Cressa warmed to the idea, but her parents needed their evening meal. “I need to get back,” she said. “My folks haven’t eaten yet, and I need to get them some dinner.”
“Maybe another time,” Andrew replied.
“Or maybe you can stay one evening and eat with us,” Cressa suggested. “My folks love the company, and Spencer would like to see you again.”
Andrew arched his eyebrows. “Spencer? I thought the two of you—It’s not any of my business, but I just noticed he didn’t hang around toward the end of the job.”
“We fixed that,” Cressa said, her voice bubbling over with happiness. “What do you say?”
“I’ll stay late one night next week, then, if that works for you.”
“Perfect. My folks will be so happy. They ask about you all the time.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t tell them about your suspicions, then?”
Cressa shook her head. “They didn’t even know the ring went missing, even though it was my mom who put it in its hiding place.”
Andrew cocked his head to one side. “Why didn’t you tell them?”
Cressa smiled into her cousin’s eyes. “For the same reason you kept my accusation to yourself. I wanted my parents to have their family.”
Andrew nodded and smiled as he draped his arm around Cressa’s shoulder. “C’mon. I’ll walk you to your car.”
Putting her arm around Andrew’s waist, she fell into step with her cousin. The lengthening afternoon deepened into twilight as the last of the golden sun left the sky to its cloak of purple and blue.
After another quick hug and goodbye, Cressa folded herself into her car. Facing the open road, she checked her rearview mirror to see the long shadows of dusk chasing after her. But she wasn’t afraid of being caught by the loneliness that could live in the darker shadows of her soul. She was driving home, where her parents and Spencer waited in the glow of the lamp and where love burned bright.
Thirty-Three
It was dark when Cressa arrived home. But the sight of Spencer’s truck and the light spilling from the house helped curb the exhaustion that pulled at her.
Taking a deep breath, she walked through the living room to see her dad and Spencer sitting in front of the television. The smell of a roasting chicken drifted around her, and her mouth watered.
Spencer rose from the seat and came to give her a light kiss on the lips. “Dinner’s in the oven. I pulled from what you had.”
“Thank you.” Gratitude filled her for Spencer’s ability to step in and help when he recognized something needed to be done, but it was his stable and sweet presence that filled her with the most joy. She looked around the room. “Where’s Mom?”
Spencer was unconcerned. “I’m not sure. She was here a minute ago.”
Cressa walked to the back of the house to find her mother in the master bath. The jewelry box was on the counter, its contents placed in neat rows alongside the bigger container. “Mom. What are you doing?”
Her mother looked up at her; her eyes held a touch of the familiar vacancy, but Cressa saw something else. “I know this isn’t everything,” her mother said. “What am I missing?”
A fresh stab of sadness penetrated Cressa’s heart, but instead of running from it, she met it as the tears surfaced. She brushed them away before pulling the ring from her pocket. “Are you looking for this?”
Her mother’s eyes lit with delight. “Yes! My wedding ring. Oh my goodness, what a day that was. Your father was dressed in a black tux, and I wore a gown made of lace and silk.” She moved from the bathroom to her closet. “Here, let me show you a picture.” Pulling out an old scrapbook, she moved to the bed.
Cressa folded the ring into her palm and sat next to her mother, who turned the pages of the yellowing scrapbook and pointed to the fading colored picture behind cellophane. “Here we are. Look at all that hair on your father. It’s the same color as yours. Wasn’t he handsome?”
More tears came to Cressa’s eyes. “He certainly was.” She ran her hand gently over the picture. “And you’re a beautiful bride.”
Her mother folded Cressa’s fingers. “Oh, honey, it’s been a wonderful, full, and glorious life. I was loved by the man of my choice.” She squeezed Cressa’s hand. “And that’s a blessing not every woman can claim, and it’s what I wish for you.” She looked at Cressa and her eyes took on a look of concern. “What is it, Cressa? Why are you crying?”
Hopeful contentment filled Cressa. Spencer was right. All anyone had was this one day, this one moment, and she was blessed enough to share it with her mother. “I’m just happy right now. That’s all.”
Her mother reached out and wiped her tears. Then, her expression became one of glee. “Let me see that ring.”
Cressa unfolded her other hand and handed the ring to her mother.
“It’s the prettiest thing, isn’t it?” her mother said.
Cressa nodded, so grateful her mother held what belonged to her.
“I’m going to give this to you now,” her mother said as she handed back the ring to Cressa.
Surprise and shock overwhelmed Cressa, and she pushed the gift back to her mother. “No,” she said. “It’s yours.”
“I know, darlin’, but I never wear it, and I’m afraid one day I might lose it. Besi
des, I promised you this ring when you got married, and my guess is that we’ll be having a summer wedding around here.” She jerked her head toward the hallway. “Mr. Sagebrush isn’t hanging around to visit me.” She chuckled before looking up into Cressa’s eyes. “Didn’t I tell you he would be your boyfriend?”
“You were right, Mom. Like always.” Cressa pulled her mother into a sweet embrace. The smell of her mother’s shampoo and soap washed over her, bathing her in love. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d hugged her mother. Her desire to stay numb had built a wall between her and everyone that mattered, but Spencer had torn that wall down, and now nothing stood between her and the love her parents offered. It was tinged with sadness and the anticipation of loss, but those things would happen anyway and refusing to love wouldn’t lessen the pain. Instead, it would just add regret.
Her mother returned the squeeze. “Now,” she said as she stood and offered her hand to Cressa. “Why don’t we go get some dinner?”
Cressa pushed the ring back into her pocket as she and her mother made their way toward the kitchen.
* * *
Later that evening, Cressa stood next to Spencer, her hand wrapped within his warm fingers under a blanket of the soft night sky. They leaned against his truck, gazing toward the stars that winked at one another in the midnight-blue expanse of the heavens.
“When I moved from Vegas, I was so worried and unhappy,” Spencer breathed quietly. “I knew I needed to be with Kimber, but I didn’t know what that would mean for me personally—but now I see how all of this was meant to be.”
Cressa curled up against Spencer’s shoulder, tightening her fingers in his. “I’m so glad you’re here with me,” she said. “I just wish you didn’t have to leave.”
Spencer faced her, and she traced his jaw with her free hand. “Maybe someday I won’t,” he whispered.
A flutter ran up Cressa’s spine. “Is that a promise?”
“Yes,” Spencer breathed as he reached down and touched his lips to hers.
Sapphires And Sagebrush (Country Brides & Cowboy Boots) Page 19
