Lovers and Beloveds

by MeiLin Miranda

  "Truthfully? You're a beautiful girl. But I've seen a lot of beautiful girls since I came here. Every ball I go to, they're everywhere. They throw themselves at me. There's even this girl at the Keep..." Arta twirled through his mind's eye and out of sight. "I met you at my ball," he resumed, "and I haven't stopped thinking of you since. It's more than how beautiful you are, there's something about you." He sat up straighter. "I could make up some nonsense about religious devotion, but you'd see through it. And I don't want to make up nonsense. I feel...I feel as if I can trust you."

  Her face softened. "You can. And I applaud your candor. Most men try to impress me with their piety. So. You're considering chasing us. Do you understand what happens if we let you catch us?"

  "Not really, no. All I've heard is it's some sort of elevated postulancy, which doesn't make sense for me."

  "Not all Supplicants join the Temple. The women may marry well--marrying a Lovers' Temple Supplicant is an honor. We get few men, and the ones we get usually become Lovers. But there are many examples of male Supplicants going on to great things, especially in business and politics. A few hundred years ago, one went on to become a Brother--very unusual for a Supplicant to leave one Temple and join another, but it does happen. He rose to be Eldest Brother. They say he read his opponents so well, they surrendered before he ever drew his sword. You might agree these would be handy skills for a king, even though kings seldom take the field now."

  Temmin pondered this. It made a good argument for his father. "What would I learn--apart from the obvious, I mean."

  "'The obvious?' Here's your first lesson for today," she said, leaning forward. "Call things by their names. What is 'the obvious?'"

  "Well...it's the obvious at your Temple, isn't it...sex."

  Allis leaned back against the pillows, amused. "You're very sweet when you blush. Do you know how many male potential Supplicants have approached the Temple in the last ten years? None." At Temmin's almost angry grimace, she added, "There's no shame in being a virgin--we're all born one, aren't we? Come, sit next to me and tell me how much experience you do have. I need to hear it all."

  "Everything?" he squeaked. She nodded, and patted the cushions beside her. He laid down next to her and stared up at the pavilion ceiling, made of midnight blue silk sprinkled with stars. "Most of 'em were with the other stable boys, when I was younger. Mostly games--seeing whose was biggest, a little kissing, that sort of thing. I just thought of it as something to do until girls came along, whenever that was going to be."

  "You didn't know any girls?"

  Temmin shook his head. "Not really, apart from my sisters. We had a few dances at the Estate, but it was when I was a boy. They were small and usually just included our cousins. Not many other young people. And then, just as I was getting interested in girls, Ibbit showed up and Mama stopped throwing any dances at all. It drove Elly mad!"

  "Maidservants?"

  "All of them ancient. It's as if there was a girl-proof barricade around me!" he complained.

  Allis shifted slightly on the cushions, thoughtful and amused. "And did any of your stable companions go beyond play? An emotional attachment, perhaps?"

  Temmin turned toward her. "If one did, am I still a virgin?"

  "For our purposes, virginity is linked with the opposite sex. Go on."

  He settled back down on the pillows again, and thought about what to say. An emotional attachment... "My best friend," he finally said. "Alvo. We've known each other all our lives. He's a groom. I tried to bring him here with me, but Papa wouldn't let me. Told me grooms aren't friends, they're servants." He lapsed into a disturbed silence.

  "What happened?" Allis prompted.

  "The last night we had together, we were drinking in the stable yard by ourselves. There was this girl." Mattie filled his mind's eye, so pink and white in the dark green hedge. He couldn't tell Allis Mattie was his half-sister; he was too ashamed, and he worried she would interpret his embarrassment as a comment on her relationship with her brother. "There was this girl. We caught her in the hedge with her sweetheart. He ran away, and I thought, here's my chance. Here's this girl, she's half-undressed, she obviously likes that sort of thing, was the kind of girl who did that sort of thing, I thought, why not? She seemed willing enough, at least she didn't say no. Now I think she did, though. Just not out loud. I've learned things since then. I don't think she could say no, even though she wanted to. I think maybe being a servant is like being enchanted."

  Allis gave him a bemused smile. "I'm afraid I'm at a loss--enchanted?"

  "Never mind. In any event, I kissed her. But I'd had a lot to drink--a lot. Just before I threw up, I thought maybe she didn't like it, but I assumed I wasn't doing it right or something. I don't know," he shrugged. He hadn't said Mattie was his half-sister, and yet he still felt ashamed.

  "And this other girl, at the Keep?"

  "I'm not done. The girl I kissed had barely left when Alvo went crazy or something. Or always was crazy. He told me he loved me. I mean, loved me as more than a friend. He ended up...I let him kiss me. I s'pose I kissed him back, I don't know, and then he begged me..."

  "There's no shame in making love with another man," murmured Allis.

  "No," said Temmin, "no, that's not it. I never thought of Alvo that way, not really, and then he got down on his knees...and he begged to take me in his mouth, and before I really understood what was happening, he was doing it, he--it was incredible, his mouth felt so..." He looked up at her, tears pricking his eyes. "It's so damn confusing! He's my best friend!"

  "Friends sometimes make the best lovers," she said, taking his hand.

  "Yes, but it was the first time he'd even brought it up!"

  "He told you over and over, I'd wager, just not out loud. Think back, and you may find dozens of times he told you without saying a word. One thing we can teach you is to see all of the ways people talk to us without saying a word." At his blank look, she continued, "How do you feel about him now?"

  "I don't know. I'm as confused as I was then. I still love him, but I don't know if I love him the way he loves me."

  He made to sit up, but she pulled his head onto her lap and gently stroked his hair. "That's enough for now. Let's talk about the girl at the Keep."

  Temmin waved his hand. "Another maidservant. Very, very pretty--beautiful, even, in her way, certainly not classically beautiful, certainly not like you, but a very appealing kind of girl, you know? We kissed, just last Paggday, but it didn't mean anything. She wanted cheering up after her sweetheart broke up with her, and pretty girls are hard to resist."

  Allis's fingers stopped circling his temples. "Then why did you?"

  Temmin reached up and touched her cheek. "Because I thought of you." To his surprise, Allis briefly colored and looked away before returning her composed face back to him. A sudden surge of courage prompted him. "You never did answer my question. What is the nature of your relationship with your brother?"

  She smiled. "I love him more than anyone in the world. When everyone abandoned us, we had one another, and when everyone abandons us again, we will still have one another."

  "That's not what I asked. You know what I'm asking."

  "Ask again, and be specific, sir. None of this 'what is your relationship.' Ask me what it is you wish to know."

  He sat up, and stared at her; she stared coolly back. "Very well," he said after a long pause, "Do you have sex with your brother all the time, or only during religious observances?"

  "Would you blame me if I did?" she said, her poise never wavering. "After all, Issak is very beautiful, wouldn't you agree?"

  "Yes, of course," Temmin said without thinking, "but he's your brother!"

  "Those brilliant eyes, his silken hair, such strong arms, such soft skin," she said, letting each word roll, fat with meaning, juicy and succulent from her parted lips. At his bilious look, she laughed. "No, we don't! I love my brother more than anything in the world, and fulfilling the Chase is our obligation and our j
oy as Embodiments, but it's our job, if you like. In public, we are just scandalous enough to make the people happy. In private, we've shared lovers, not often in the same bed--for instance, we share our current Supplicant, an irresistible girl named Anda--you will like her. But that's also work-related. Otherwise, our sex lives are separate." She leaned back; the fabric of her divided skirt draped in graceful folds over the slope of her hip. "Are you disappointed? Were you imagining us wrapped around each other in ecstasy? Or are you in the middle in your fantasy? Oh, look at you blush!" she teased.

  Temmin's face grew hot, as the image rose in his mind: Allis before him, Issak behind him, mouths and hands and-- He rolled over onto the pillows and pulled her atop him. The smile left her face, but she showed no fear. "What if that is what I want?" he said.

  "Then you should chase us," she answered.

  He gave her a tentative kiss, a brushing of the lips, shy and unsure after all his bravado. He felt his heartbeat, jumpy and fast, and wondered if she felt it too. Allis took his face in her hands and kissed him again, deeper, and he sighed into her mouth. Everywhere she touched him grew warm and shivery. He cradled her head in one hand, smoothing along her jaw with his thumb, and hoped he did it right. She ran her tongue over the roof of his mouth, and he shook violently. She gave an amused little hum, and did it again to the same whimpering reaction. "Very good," she murmured, breaking the kiss. "Now tell me, what have you learned?"

  "Learned?" said Temmin, muzzy-brained. "I was supposed to learn something?"

  She laughed. "Did you perhaps notice the ways in which I like to be kissed?"

  Temmin raised up further on his elbows, and stared up in confusion. "I...I was distracted."

  Allis burst out laughing and pulled him close; the tops of her breasts pressed against his chest. "Perhaps we should try again?" she said, when she let him go. "You lead this time." She slipped off him to one side.

  She'd seemed to like it when he touched her lightly. He drew a thumb across her fine cheekbone before following her jaw to the tip of her chin--a touch that almost wasn't there. Her breath hitched. He kissed her, light, almost teasing, and again, until she let out a soft mew. He licked at her bottom lip, and her mouth opened for him; he tried the same trick she'd done with him, stroking her palate with the tip of his tongue, and she shivered just as he had. He kissed her again, deeper, stopping only when he sensed her pulling away.

  "You're a quick study," she said. "What did you learn this time?"

  Temmin dragged himself with difficulty from an inventory of all the greens in her eyes. "I think," he said, "I've learned that sometimes when someone does something to you it's something they like themselves. Am I right?"

  "One correct conclusion, yes. Shall we continue?"

  "Oh, yes, please," he said fervently, and they began again. From time to time, his hand would wander to her breasts, and she would gently redirect it. "See here," he finally said. "Why can't I touch you?"

  "In this I teach, Temmin. If you become our Supplicant, you will always be the student. I realize you're used to leading--"

  "No, I'm not," said Temmin. "I don't lead at all."

  "You do, all the time. You don't think about it, and you only do it to get what you want. Part of what we can teach you is the difference between real leadership and just getting what you want."

  "I'm not sure I like that characterization," he frowned.

  She kissed him again. "I promise you won't regret coming to us. You may be frustrated from time to time, but you won't regret it."

  He wanted to believe her. "If this is all there is, then we had better stop for now," he said, reluctantly untangling himself.

  "Are you tired of me already?"

  "Very much not," he replied, "but if we keep this up, I'm either going to force myself on you or embarrass myself, and I don't have a change of trousers."

  Allis laughed uproariously, a laugh he would never have expected from her that somehow suited her better than her usual demure chuckle. She kissed his nose. "You're already growing wise." She sat up to re-fasten her braid round her head; Temmin filled their glasses again, found a plate of strawberries, and fed one to her as she pinned.

  The wine bottle emptied, as did the plates. A pile of bones that had once been a chicken sat next to a single shriveled hothouse grape. Temmin had fallen asleep with his head on Allis's lap as she reclined among the pillows, dozing in the spring sun just slanting below the roof of the pavilion. She roused herself and brushed his hair from his face. "Temmin, I should get back to the Temple soon."

  He woke slowly, taking in the starry roof pitched above them, and then Allis's gently smiling face. He pulled her down to kiss her, then sat up and sighed. "I'm glad you came."

  "I am, too."

  He took her hand and played with her fingers. "What happens next?"

  "You need to make a decision by the 40th, a week before Neya's Day. Not right now. Come to us at the Temple in a week for a visit. We may then talk it over with Issak and the Most High Lover and Beloved. After that, you should know."

  "If I do decide for Supplicancy, how long will I be committed to it?"

  "Two years and two days."

  "And when it's over?"

  "We'll take a new Supplicant in your place. We only have time for two."

  "No...I meant, what happens with us?"

  "Temmin, I can't ever be your woman," she said. "Don't be misled. I can't marry or have children or take only one lover. It's against my vows as a Beloved and an Embodiment." She encircled his hands with her own. "I would hope we would always remain friends and occasional bedmates, whether you become a Supplicant or not."

  "I s'pose it was silly of me to bring up the future a-tall. We just met," he said, with a weak laugh.

  He got up and helped her to her feet. Coats were donned, ascots re-tied, hats returned to heads and gloves to hands. Once they were proper, Temmin stepped out of the pavilion and called for the horses. He helped Allis into the saddle, and then swung up onto Jebby's broad back. "Thank you, gentlemen, for taking such good care of my Jinny," said Allis to the footmen, who nearly swooned with delight.

  The horses walked out of the Fairy Meadow into the Woods, Temmin taking them on the more direct route. Once they'd come down the steeper parts of the trail, Allis set the tempo, cantering down the War Road, past the stables, down the slope to the Keep's long drive, and up to the gates. They swung open; her escort of Brothers waited on horseback, as if they'd been standing there the entire time instead of relaxing in the guardhouse.

  Temmin took Allis's hand. "Thank you so very much, Holy One, for the honor and pleasure of your company."

  "Your Highness," she answered, "the honor and the pleasure were mine entirely."

  "So...until next week?" he said, still holding her hand.

  "Please remember our discussion, sir, and think things through," she said. "Listen to the counsel of your family, and of Teacher, and we will talk more then." She dropped his hand, and walked Jinny through the gates. The Brothers fell in behind her, and the three rode away toward the City. When she disappeared around a bend in the road, Temmin turned back to the stables, his head full, and his heart fuller.

  Only then, in a pensive but happy jog, did he feel the six still-pulsing stripes on his bottom, aching from the saddle. With luck, Jenks hadn't already put the soft cushion away.

  Temmin told no one of his plans to visit the Temple--almost no one. He told Jenks that evening, and the happy valet burrowed into the Prince's wardrobe all Paggday to ferret out the proper clothes for a visit to the Temple. Though Jenks was discreet, Temmin himself let it slip to Ellika in the hearing of a footman. It spread through the Keep until it reached the ear of Gram, the King's valet, and thence to the King himself.

  "Winmer!" said Harsin as he stomped into his study. "Harla take you, Winmer, I need you now!"

  "I'm here, Your Majesty," murmured his secretary from the doorway of his adjoining office. "How can I be of service?"

  Harsin
flung himself into his favorite chair, and poured a snifter of brandy. "This obsession with Allis Obby has gone too far. He's heading into dangerous territory, spiritually and politically. Find something out about the Obbys to diminish them in Temmin's eyes. Anything."

  Winmer paused; his little moustache rose toward his nose. "I'll do my best, sir, but I can hardly imagine anything worse than what they already are. May I speak freely, sir? I have misgivings, political misgivings, about tarnishing the Obbys--certainly not religious misgivings. The Lovers' Temple is nothing but a whorehouse, and the Embodiments are pretenders who perform lewd acts in public once a year for their Temple's financial gain. I am an atheist."

  "And let no one other than me hear it, Winmer. I don't care how fashionable it is in certain sets, I'd be obliged to fire you for it, you know, and I rather like you." He contemplated the hearthscreen; it bore a classical scene of Nerr and Neya entwined in one another's arms, blossoming trees above Them, and flowers rising from Their footsteps. "Temmin is a believer, I think. He's his mother's son in many respects. At any rate, he keeps to the forms."

  Winmer looked up from his little notebook. "You are a believer, sir," he said.

  "Not so devout as to keep this from happening." Harsin put his feet up on a tufted footstool. "I'm slightly surprised at you, Winmer. I would expect, as an atheist, you'd try to discourage my belief in this prophecy."

  "I believe in you, sir. If this is important to you, I will take the sin on myself--if there were sin to take. I will serve you in every way I can, even against my own misgivings."

  Harsin raised a brow. "And what are your misgivings?"

  "Letting Prince Temmin become a Supplicant is inconsequential--except in the political sphere," Winmer said, fingering his pencil. "It might portray the royal family as weak for its Heir to associate with the Lovers. Better he should dedicate to Farr, or Pagg, or even Eddin. But it wouldn't be anything a stint in the Cavalry couldn't reverse, and from everything we know about him, Prince Temmin still intends to train with them once he turns twenty. The common people dislike any conflict between the Crown and the Temples. Action against the Embodiments may be perceived as an attack on the Gods Themselves. That's my only concern, sir. The so-called prophecy is not to be feared--murky rhymes, no more."