Wrestling With Desire

by D. H. Starr

Offering his half to Scott, Derek decided to bring it up. "Scott, I do have one more question for you."

  "Jeez, Derek." His mouth was full so the words came out muffled. "I'm going to start charging you per question." As he said this, a small amount of chewed bread flew from his mouth and landed on the table between them. "Sorry."

  Picking up a napkin, Derek wiped up the stray bit of food.

  "Charming." He was unable to keep his grin from turning into a chuckle. Pathetic. I even find his clumsy eating cute. "I just wanted to ask you if we could at least tell Beck about us. She already knows that I've wanted you since the beginning of the year. She's my best friend and quite honestly, I am fearful of 120

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  the fate of my balls if she ever found out that I didn't tell her."

  After taking a gulp of his coffee to wash the food out of his mouth, Scott turned to Derek with a grave look on his face.

  Shit. He's going to say no. Scott placed his elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand as if in deep contemplation.

  After what seemed like an interminable silence, he finally spoke. "Look. I like you. You like me. Beck is great. But seriously Derek..." He looked a little irritated.

  Derek could feel heat rising in his cheeks. Fuck. I pissed him off.

  Scott continued, "...you've liked me from the beginning of the year and made me wait all this time to find out what a great kisser you are. That's just plain mean." A wicked grin lit up his face.

  "You bastard! I thought you were upset." Relief flooded through Derek. "Wait, you didn't answer my question."

  Scott smiled at Derek. "Do you trust her to keep it between us?"

  "Absolutely. She's known about me being gay as long as I have and hasn't said a word to anyone. In fact, she's the one who keeps reminding me to be careful."

  Scott looked at Derek; the weightiness of his gaze was unquestionable. "Then fine. Tell her whatever you want.

  Everyone needs a good girlfriend to gossip to." Leaning forward, his face and his posture relaxed. "Just promise me one thing."

  "Anything."

  "Promise me you'll paint me in a good light."

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  "You can count on that." As Derek pulled out his cell, an idea popped into his head. "Hey, let's go see a movie."

  A look of confusion crossed Scott's face. "Um, did you just topic shift from promising you'll paint me in a good light to watching a movie or are those two comments supposed to be related in a way I can't figure out?"

  "Sorry. I do that sometimes. But do you want to go see a movie?"

  "Sure, I can do my homework later or tomorrow."

  With that, Derek hit Beck's number on his speed dial. "I'm gonna call Beck."

  "What, you're calling her now?" Derek couldn't tell if Scott was amused or annoyed.

  "Heck yeah! This is big news. We're going steady remember?"

  Scott shook his head. This was one of those times that he would have to placate Derek. Somehow, he suspected there would be many times like that. Still, Derek's excitement was sweet. "And the topic has now shifted to us going steady. I'm going to get whiplash trying to follow your line of thinking.

  Ok, call Beck, but could you do me a favor and call us boyfriends instead of saying that we are going steady? It makes me feel like one of us should be wearing a poodle skirt." He gave Derek a meaningful look. "And I'm not wearing a skirt."

  Derek shot Scott a playfully annoyed look. "Hey Beck.

  S'me, Derek."

  "What's up babe? You were awesome last night."

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  "Scott and I were wondering if you wanted to come to see a movie with us."

  Beck's voice rose to a piercing level and Scott barely had to work to hear her voice through the phone that Derek had suddenly moved a few inches away from his ear even though it wasn't on speaker. "Oh, movie popcorn! You know how much I love...wait, did you just say we?"

  "Yup." A wide grin spread across Derek's face.

  "And by we you mean..."

  "Yup."

  "So you..."

  "I did."

  "And he's..."

  "He is."

  "So you're..."

  " Beck, do you want to come to the movies with us or not?"

  Derek rolled his eyes. Scott, who had heard the entire interaction, simply laughed.

  "Yes. Where are you right now?"

  "Au Bon Pain."

  Derek heard a thud on the other end of the line. "Holy fucking Mary Mother of Jesus! Ouch!" Derek moved the phone about three inches further away from his ear. Scott covered his mouth to muffle his burst of laughter. "Give me thirty minutes."

  "You ok?" Derek was only mildly concerned.

  "I just walked straight into my chair, jamming my toe on the leg. You need to give me fair warning before dropping a huge bomb like that on me."

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  Derek smiled, "Sorry."

  "Well you should be." There was a brief pause before Beck continued. "Oh, and Derek."

  "Yeah?"

  "I am so happy for you."

  "Thanks." He hung up and they ordered another sandwich while waiting for Beck.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

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  Chapter 8

  As wrestling season drew closer, new routines fell into place for Derek and Scott. They had been inseparable ever since the night of Josh's party. A serene calm surrounded Derek wherever he went. Just knowing that Scott was his, filled him with a combined sense of pride and happiness and he practically floated through the days.

  Although Derek continued his runs, Scott had taken to spending more and more time working out with the guys on the team. The weather had become significantly colder, all of the leaves having long since fallen off the trees. The scenery didn't evoke the same romanticism that it had when hues of yellow, orange, red, and brown had surrounded him and reflected off the water. With naked branches and cold winds, the weather became another obstacle, one that challenged him as he incorporated sprints into his longer and longer runs. Pretty soon he would have to begin to incorporate weight training, but for now, he was pleased with his improved endurance and stamina.

  Scott usually came over to Derek's house after school. The attic, which had previously been Derek's solitary haven, became a nest for the two of them to do their homework, listen to music, and explore each other's bodies. Derek had to admit that they tended to spend much more time kissing and groping each other than actually doing their homework, but his grades hadn't suffered, so he didn't waste energy or time worrying about it.

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  It was during a last period history class that Derek noticed Scott had been quieter than usual. Not wanting to draw the teacher's attention, Derek pulled out his cell and held it under the desk. Finding Scott's name had become an automatic reflex for him.

  What's up? U R in Twilite Zone 2day?

  Scott jerked into a straighter sitting position when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out, hiding it beneath his desk as Derek had, and looked at the message. His sly grin spread across his face as he cast a sidelong glance at Derek.

  Been thinking about wrestling. Getting nervous.

  The response caught Derek off guard. Of all the things that could make Scott nervous, and Derek had found very few things that could, wrestling was not one of them.

  Why?

  Cause I don't know Sean and Phil.

  U'll beat them no prob.

  How do U know?

  Cause I know. Meet me at lockers after class.

  Derek shot Scott a meaningful look, one that was meant to calm him. He wasn't sure whether he achieved his g
oal from Scott's reaction which remained subdued and quiet.

  After they gathered their things from their lockers and were heading over to the athletic complex, Derek picked up their conversation where their texting had left off. "So, what exactly is it that is making you so nervous?"

  Once Scott started talking, the words flowed out of him in a continuous stream. "I've been thinking about pre-season.

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  I've always known my competition, but with both Sean and Phil gunning for the 167 pound weight class, and with me not knowing anything about them, I kind of feel like I'm at a disadvantage."

  "They don't know anything about you either, so they are at just as big a disadvantage." Derek had to hold back the giggle that was struggling to get out. As much as he understood how Scott felt, seeing him reveal vulnerability was both cute and endearing. Scott was typically so self-assured. He had taken the initiative for their first kiss. He had even kissed Derek in public on their run, although he did make sure no one was around first. In fact, Derek realized, Scott also called him out whenever he was talking around issues instead of addressing them directly. It was a surprising relief to see that Scott had a minor chink in that coat of armor. "If you like, I could give you some pointers so that you have an idea of what to expect. I've been wrestling with them since ninth grade, and even though they didn't make varsity, and were in a different weight class, I did get to watch their challenges each week against Dylan."

  Scott pondered the idea for a minute. "Do you really know their moves that well? Didn't Sean say he went to wrestling camp and learned new moves over the summer?"

  "I may not know some of the new stuff they've learned, but I know each of their basic moves. The mats are in place in the wrestling room. We could go there after school for the next week or so and practice a bit. I mean, you're carrying thirty pounds on me, so you'll probably kick my ass, but I could still show you what to expect."

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  "You and me wrestling together..." Derek could see Scott's eyes twinkle with wicked thoughts. Thinking about it himself caused Derek's crotch to shift and he felt his pants become constricted. "I like it. Definitely a good plan. Let's start today."

  Derek didn't bother to hold back the giggles that erupted from him this time. "You do realize that I am proposing to show you the wrestling moves I know Sean and Phil will use, right?"

  Scott turned to face Derek, wearing a face of pure innocence. "Of course, Derek. What else could I have been considering besides that?"

  Derek gave Scott a shove and Scott flashed a shameless grin and winked at him, causing his dick to lengthen even more inside his pants. He became quiet for a moment as he tried to modify his walking to readjust himself without seeming obvious about it.

  Scott didn't miss a beat. The sudden lull in their conversation caused him to look at Derek and, once he looked down and saw the sizable bulge that was prominently staring back at him, his own cock began to stir. Scott looked around to see that they were alone, then boldly reached into his pants to readjust himself while staring at Derek. "You were saying something about your focus being on wrestling?"

  Derek froze, his gaze locked on Scott's crotch. When he looked up he could only summon one word. "Bastard!"

  Scott laughed out loud and they continued their walk to the athletic building in silence. Derek flashed a series of images in his mind. Dead cats. Sunday Mass. Beck naked.

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  Slowly, the tension that had built up in his pants subsided.

  Just as they were arriving at the locker room, he noticed Scott furtively grab at the front of his pants, this time trying to be a bit more subtle. The image sent all of the blood rushing back to his groin and he had to start the process of settling himself down all over again.

  It wasn't until they had both regained some semblance of control that they headed up to the wrestling room which was located on the second floor. The weight room was next to it so they decided to stop in to see who from the team was working out before heading to the wrestling room. Josh, Power, and Frank were spotting each other on the bench press. Derek was relieved to see that Sean and Phil weren't there. "Hey guys. What's up?"

  "Thompson!" Power called out. "You decide to beef up this year? You never come to the weight room. Maybe you can challenge Frank here at his weight class." He then turned his attention to Frank who was struggling with his reps. "C'mon you fuckin' pussy. That's only your second set and you're already straining."

  Josh walked over to Derek and put a hand on his shoulder.

  "Hey, could I talk with you for a minute?" Derek allowed himself to be led to the corner of the weight room. Once there Josh continued. "Listen, I was talking to Coach the other day and it seems like we are going to be having a lot of challenges for spots this year. You are being challenged by Bobby Dean. Paul is planning on challenging me. Fuckin' idiot!

  No one's challenging Power. No surprise there. But the spot that has all of us guessing is the 167 weight class. Sean and 129

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  Phil are sweating bullets about Scott, especially since they've seen him on the weight machines and he can bench more than both of them. I was wondering if you could put together a challenge schedule for us. I'm working out our warm-up routines and scoping out the other schools to see when their meets are scheduled so we can do some reconnaissance during the season."

  It surprised Derek to be asked to put together the challenge schedule, but the benefits of the task did not escape him. He would be able to orchestrate challenges to give Scott a slight advantage. The thought only caused a small twinge of guilt, one that he was easily able to dismiss.

  "Sure, I'd be happy to. When are we going to begin challenges?"

  "Well, the season begins in a couple of weeks officially.

  The wrestling room is ready for us to begin whenever." Josh folded his arms across his chest and bit the inside of his cheek, clearly deep in thought about when to begin challenges. Seriously Josh, they're just challenges, not final exams. "I was thinking we could start practices with the core team and any challengers on Monday next week. How about you schedule the matches for Thursday and Friday next week? That way we will have our varsity line up settled for the first official day of practice."

  "Not a problem. I'll have a challenge schedule set up by the end of the week." Derek walked over to Scott who was watching Frank struggle with the weights. Frank's face was beet red and his teeth were clenched so tightly that air 130

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  actually whistled through them as he labored for breath. He nudged Scott with his shoulder. "You ready?"

  Scott nodded and the two headed into the wrestling room.

  Once there Scott sat on the mat and began stretching. "So what was that all about with Josh?" His voice sounded nonchalant, but he stared intently at Derek when he asked the question which, Derek had learned, meant that Scott was actually quite curious about the answer.

  Derek sat down on the mat next to Scott and began stretching as well. "He wants me to put together the schedule for the challenge matches. They're going to happen next Thursday and Friday." He grabbed the toes of his right foot and pulled his torso towards his leg. "I was thinking that I might schedule it so that Sean and Phil wrestle each other first so you can watch them and see what their styles are like.

  Add that to what I already know about them and it should give you a good idea of how to beat them."

  Scott spread his legs and reached his hands out in front of him, using his fingers to walk his body closer to the mat.

  "Why would you do that? Do you think that I won't be able to beat them without some extra help?"

  His breath caught in his throat. "No, I didn't, I mean I don't, I mean—."r />
  The corner of Scott's mouth began to creep up his face.

  "I'm just giving you shit, Derek. I appreciate that you are willing to help me out. Not that it surprises me. You've helped me since the first day I got here...in more ways than I dared hope for." He looked up and allowed his gaze to bore into Derek, but then he averted his eyes before speaking again. It 131

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  was very unlike him and it immediately captured Derek's attention. "Ok, we better focus on wrestling 'cause if we start staring at each other I'm gonna forget we're not in your attic."

  There's that slightly insecure side. Funny, but I actually find it sexy. Derek's focus was always laser-sharp when wrestling, but then again, he had never had such a tempting distraction before. "Sounds like a good idea."

  Scott refocused on his stretching and remained silent for a few minutes. When he spoke again, his voice was serious. "I don't want you to make a schedule that will give me an advantage. I want to win on my own merit. Besides, I can think of better things for you to focus on than challenge schedules."

  "Enough of that, Scott. We're here to wrestle, not flirt."

  Derek actually felt a twinge of irritation, but it quickly evaporated. No matter how focused he was, it still wound him up knowing how much Scott wanted him.

  "Why can't we do a little of both?" Scott's grin turned wicked as he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

  Derek's thoughts wandered towards the various things they could do on the wrestling mat and none of them had anything to do with wrestling. "Scott. Weren't you the one who just suggested that we keep our focus on wrestling?" He jumped up and started hopping up and down, causing Scott to laugh. "C'mon. You talk a good game. Let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is."

  It was all the challenge Scott needed. He jumped up and walked to the center of the mat. They assumed the neutral 132

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  standing position, shook hands, and started circling each other. Derek was not a fancy wrestler, preferring to perfect basic offensive and defensive moves and to use them with precision. As he and Scott circled each other, he watched how Scott shuffled his feet as opposed to crossing them when he moved. Wrestlers who shuffled required one approach, while those who crossed their feet required another.