The Scorned (The Permutation Archives Book 3)

by Kindra Sowder

  “I could make anyone do anything I wanted with just a single word.”

  With a skipping heart, I began, “You could wh…?”

  I lost what little control I had gained to my surprise. Energy moved out of me in a whoosh toward the far wall where the target stood, obliterating the circular mark altogether. A piece of wood splintered into the air and scattered on the floor. Shreds of red and white paper fluttered down and settled among the remains. What little of the bullseye that remained hung in the air by a minuscule thread of wood, swinging and close to breaking and clattering to the floor.

  Startled shouts and cries were followed by applause and accolades from the Specials as well as Ryder and the rest of the training group. A blush crept up my throat to my cheeks with embarrassment and anger at myself. I met the wide eyes of Julius, but the fear turned quickly into amusement, and he grinned sheepishly with a shrug. The attention only exasperated me.

  “Yes, I destroyed it,” I yelled sarcastically, eyes darting around the labyrinth. “Move along. Nothing to see here.”

  Everyone turned away quickly and acted as if they hadn’t been staring, but Julius continued to glance up at me and back at Jameson who had already started speaking to him again. I watched as Julius shook his head and held his hand out, palm up and muttering quietly.

  “You sure you need the practice? Seems like you can do enough damage,” he said with a laugh.

  With a fling of my hand, I responded, “That’s the exact reason I need the practice, trust me. So, you said you could do what?”

  “I had the power of persuasion, but that’s not important anymore. They had harvested it from me, and I have no clue what happened to it after that, but that’s not why I’m here.”

  Scanning his face, I couldn’t see any impure motives. Just sincerity and a willingness to help.

  “Why are you here?” I uttered.

  “I’m here to help you focus,” he retorted.

  Turning away from him, I looked at the target on the far wall as Ryder removed it and replaced it with another just like it with a smirk. I raised my hands toward it, and upon seeing it, Ryder jerked out of the line of fire and ran toward us to stand beside Caius and out of the way. Then I felt all eyes on me, and the room stood still.

  “I don’t need help. I can do this.”

  My mind flitted to so many different images. King before me, laughing and filled with his arrogance. I was able to pull the energy that exploded in my belly to my chest but couldn’t push it any farther than that with just the thought of the egomaniac alone. I needed something else. Another shove. The vision outside of the compound that caused the new reaction of my ability came to mind. I heard the screams, the cries, and the pain-filled horror as faces contorted in terror moved through my mind. My mother. My beautiful sister. My best friends. The love of my life. The warmth spread, but that was as far as it went.

  “Think of something, someone, that hurt you. Something you would fight for. Freedom. Love. Family. Keep thinking of something until you find anything that creates that change, that click, inside of you,” Caius whispered in my ear.

  I hadn’t even realized he came closer to me until that moment, and it nearly pulled me from within my mind and body. I jumped, startled just barely, but was able to remain focused on the target.

  “You can do this, Mila,” Ryder coerced.

  “Shhhh,” I snapped in crossness.

  Silence fell around me, but the tension only increased in my shoulders and muscles. It grew even more immense when everyone in the labyrinth watched me, their hope and anxiety tangible with my hands outstretched. My fingers could’ve melted right through it if I weren’t concentrating on the target instead. Doing all I could, I tuned all of them out. I could still hear the whispers around me, urging me to concentrate on the task at hand. Complete control over my ability. That was my only goal when I came to this room.

  Now I had a job. Not a calling. A job. The calling would always be there. Maybe the job helped in respect to it, but, in the interest of keeping those within the Fallen Paradigm safe, I was more than willing to take on the responsibility handed to me by my mother. Gaia wasn’t, which I fully understood, but she had always known how I felt about duty.

  Then, out of nowhere, within the depths of my darkest parts I never showed anyone, I saw the face of Nero. The lifelong friend that chose to betray us instead of seeing the world and his new master as they were. Nothing close to how he wanted things to be. Black and white with no shades of gray in between. Nothing close to how the world actually worked.

  Betrayal flooded my brain and my veins like a dam slamming wide open, and I felt something more unleash in me.

  Nero, enemy number two with John Baker following close behind.

  Then there he was, his massive black body overshadowing everything the light stood for.

  Blazing heat moved through my entire body like a tidal wave, then up into my hands and pushing out of my palms with such force I stumbled back a step. With a small explosion of light and energy, the target before us moved slightly and then began to spin. I hadn’t willed it to do so, the only driving force the power that had exploded out of my body. With a labored grunt, I pulled it back just enough so I could focus it, the circular target coming to a singing halt.

  My next thought was for it to detach from the wall, which was what it did next. As I thought, I imagined it floating above the ground, moving up and down. It obeyed me.

  An ecstatic gasp escaped me that turned into excited laughter that almost had me doubled over with relief. All it took was that minuscule moment of happiness to ruin the progress I had just made. In seconds the target launched itself into the air up toward the ceiling, turning red hot. With a whistle and a hiss, smoke erupted from it, and then it exploded in a shower of sparks and smoking paper embers. Whatever energy that had helped me move the target zapped back into my body with an almost audible snap that I felt deep down inside of me.

  I dropped my hand and sighed, “Damn it.”

  Everyone else whooped and hollered around me with excitement, running toward me with broad grins on their faces. Caius was almost dancing beside me. Ryder wrapped me in his arms and picked me up from the ground before I had a moment to process what h was doing, spinning me around in triumph. Even though I didn’t feel the same level of success, I couldn’t help but laugh at his happiness and join in with him. But, as soon as my feet touched the ground, practically all of the joy I felt left me. Pushing my hair out of my face, I stared up at him as disappointment settled into my bones.

  “I lost it. I lost control,” I admitted in defeat.

  “What matters is that you found it,” Caius stated from beside us.

  “You’ll get it. I know it,” Ryder assured me with a grin.

  Taking a step back from him, I turned around to find everyone else watching, Famke, Julius, and Jameson slowing to a stop as they neared where we stood. Pieces of blackened paper crunched under their booted feet, but they didn’t seem to notice or care.

  “That was awesome,” Famke squealed in girlish delight.

  “Man, you made that target your bitch,” Julius stated, raising his hand to ready for a high five.

  I didn’t feel the same level of excitement as the rest of them did, but I raised my hand and gave into the gesture of comradery regardless. I even plastered a fake smile on my face to complete the façade.

  “All in a day’s work,” I breathed.

  “You did a good job. Don’t beat yourself up over a small glitch,” Jameson comforted with a hand my shoulder.

  “A small glitch? The damn thing exploded.”

  “Hey, you’ll save us a lot of grenades in the future,” Famke beamed.

  “Oh yeah, there’s the silver lining,” Julius said with a roll of his steely eyes.

  I chuckled at his expres
sion.

  Famke clapped her hands together. The sound echoed off the walls. “All right, as the lady said, nothing to see here. Get back to your stations and get back to your training. We need you all ready for the field in the next couple of days.”

  When no one moved and only shot quick glances at one another, Ryder and Jameson both spoke.

  “Now,” they both belted out in an angry bass that turned their voices into gravel.

  Every person that had come to surround us muttered to themselves, turned, and walked away toward their respective workspaces. Even Famke, Jameson, and the other trainers walked away. Julius remained at my side as did Ryder and Caius. Ryder’s fingers grazed my bare arm.

  “I’ll get back to working with the others,” his eyes shot up to Julius, but I didn’t see his expression behind me. “You going to be okay to try again on your own?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He leaned down, brushed his lips softly against mine, and walked away with Caius following close behind, glancing back at me nervously. I still felt Julius at my back, but didn’t turn around, only hung my head, and stared at some of the pieces of paper that still glowed around their black edges. A new feeling of turmoil mixed with hopelessness flooded over me, drowning me in its wake. It didn’t help that one of my best friends continued to stand behind me, his eyes on my back, even when I refused to look back at him or turn around. Reaching out with the tip of my black boot, I touched the closest piece of the smoldering target and slid it across the floor. Black soot smudged across the white floor.

  A warm hand came to rest on my shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.

  “Hey, you okay?” Julius asked.

  “Not really,” I sighed. “I’m not made for this, Julius. At least, it doesn’t feel like it.”

  Footsteps, and then the tips of his boots that were exactly like mine came into my line of sight. The both of his hands rested on my shoulders. I slowly lifted my gaze and met his cold eyes, set in determination with a furrowed brow. The stubble that lined his jaw only made him look even more resolute.

  “If what Cato saw before he died was any indication at all, you’re more than made for this. If anything, you were made specifically for this and nothing else. You’ve got to realize that, Mila,” he lectured.

  I shook my head in defeat. “I don’t know anymore.”

  “You know, what he saw will happen whether you believe it or not, right? It’s fate.”

  “Ha, yeah. Fate.”

  “Yes, fate,” he reiterated with a small shake of my shoulders. “Now, I hate to be that guy, but you can do this. You will do this. You don’t have any other choice. King took that away from us a long time ago.”

  And Julius was right. We hadn’t had a choice in anything since the moment of our birth. We either did was we were told or suffered the consequences of our denial. This time those consequences would be more than any form of corporal punishment. Only death awaited us after we walked through the door that led to rebellion. There was no other alternative to what we had done.

  It didn’t matter how hard we pushed back against it.

  “Okay,” I sighed again. “Okay. You’re right.”

  With a chortle, he said, “I’ll act like I believe you when you say that.”

  I busted out in a spell of fake laughter and cut it short when I saw the look in his eyes. Not only that same determination resided there, it was mixed with terror in a combination of hope as well as rage. My insides began to whither as the weight of his emotions and words settled on my shoulders. I could only imagine how my mother, or even Cato before his death, felt knowing that this would be the result.

  “You’re not alone. I’m going to need you to remember that.”

  “I’ll give it my best shot.”

  He grinned weakly and said, “Good. Now,” he released my shoulders and stood up stick straight, smoothing down his t-shirt, “go kick some ass. You’ve still got a full day of training left in you before they send us out there to fend for ourselves. You know, with guns.”

  “You sure the guns are the scariest part?” I laughed, giving him a small shove.

  “Eh, you’re probably right.” He shot me a lopsided smirk. “You’re the scariest thing. The guns are number two on the list of scary things.”

  “Well, I’m glad we got that straightened out.”

  “Me too.”

  He began to back away, still with a smile plastered on his face, his gray eyes filled with menace. And, before I had a chance to say anything else remotely witty, he turned around and walked back to the station he had been working at with Jameson, who watched us in amusement.

  Ryder walked up to me with a few pieces of the shattered target in his hands, throwing them away in the closest trash chute in the room.

  “You want to try it one more time before we move onto something else?” he asked me.

  “Depends,” I began as I felt a sly grin take residence on my face.

  “On?” He wrapped his now empty arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My hands came to rest on his broad chest, keeping me just far enough away so I could continue with the witty and slightly seductive repartee.

  “On what the something else is.”

  “Oh, well, what if I told you that the something else was a shiny metal thing that makes loud noises and kills things?”

  “Hmmmmm,” I hummed in response. “I can kill things all on my own. What if I said I didn’t need the noisy shiny thing?”

  The laughter that erupted from him was infectious, vibrating through his chest, down his arms, and into my body. I didn’t make a single noise but did smile up at him like an idiot. An idiot in love that couldn’t see herself with any other man on the planet. But I noticed something else. He didn’t just look and sound entertained. He looked exhausted as if the entirety of our situation weighed him down just as much as it did me, the fate of our world resting on our shoulders together. And that was how we would fight this war.

  Together.

  Ryder leaned down and kissed me, quickly, but still as deep as ever. As always, he left me breathless. When he leaned back to stare down at me, he pushed my hair out of my face and leaned down again to graze my forehead with his gorgeous lips. The stubble on his chin and upper lip and I worked to suppress a giggle.

  I looked up at him, put on my best smile and the bravest face I could muster, and said, “Let’s go play with some loud, shiny toys.”

  Chapter

  NINETEEN

  That night I was so exhausted that, by the time I made it to my bed, I fell asleep in the same clothes I had trained in all day. I never even cared to remove the boots on my feet. My entire body had gone from cold to hot, to cold again, causing a thick layer of sweat to congeal on my skin throughout the day.

  Not even after all of this did I want to take a shower.

  I fell asleep even faster than it took me to fall into bed, mere seconds passing between the time I closed my eyes and the moment sleep drug me into its dark embrace. Even quicker the visages of a nightmare flooded my slumber.

  Ryder had fallen into the cocoon of the sheets with a loud groan despite the fact that everything he had been through before that day had been much more taxing on our bodies. Granted, I had felt the same way as he did with that fact hanging over my head as well. The same war-torn expression on his face penetrated my nightmares as soon as I closed my eyes. In an instant, the blackness that surrounded me was the place of horrors filled with screams and bloodshed. Explosions filled my ears, the sounds coming into my right ear muffled by the busted ear drum I had suffered in the forest while we were on the run.

  In a rush of sound and light, I no longer stood in the peaceful night of sleep. The sounds were nothing compared to the barrage of images that burned themselves into my retinas, making certain I wouldn’t dream ever ag
ain without seeing them. Or close my eyes for that matter.

  I stood in the normally brightly lit hallway that now flashed from black to red, repeatedly while people who I barely recognized filtered around me. One person slammed into me. An older gentleman with deep-set eyes and long dreadlocks scarcely noticed me when he ran past, the shoulder of someone much younger pushed against my other shoulder in a hurried frenzy of arms and legs.

  Not a single apology was uttered. Only panic flashed across the faces of those that moved within the confines of the space.

  Rapid gunfire shattered the atmosphere. Everyone around me ducked their heads, bringing their hands over their heads like that would stop a bullet from penetrating their skull. I didn’t see a single face that I recognized. Not a single one that had come to bring not only comfort but calm when I felt like my entire world was falling apart at the seams. No Ryder. No Gaia or Cecilia, whom I had already seen very little of.

  My mother was nowhere to be seen.

  Those that fought by my side were absent.

  It was just me, crying desperately while I began to make my way through the ocean of bodies that pushed in a wave against me. Every person that passed me seemed to have the same face, no certain feature standing out as I searched them desperately for the faces of those I loved. The image of a glassed-in room flashed through my unconscious mind, like the version of myself within my dream had a vision of its own. A flash of blonde hair, pale skin covered in beads of sweat, pale blue eyes like the afternoon sky. Her hair hung down in back in a long braid. This person could be my mother or my sister, the figure clothed in black as I watched its panicked movements from behind her. She slapped the glass door framed with metal, high pitched wails erupting from her vocal chords, but so distorted in my mind’s eye that I couldn’t make out who it belonged to.

  I called out to her, but could not draw her attention. As if I wasn’t truly there in the room with her.

  “Hey,” I cried out. “I’m here! I’m here!” I waved my hands in hope my reflection in the glass would get her attention.