Hidden Carmina

by Adri Sinclair

  Lilly’s face was one big objection. “I can’t leave home!”

  “I think Carmina is right, Lilly. For the baby, you can do anything you want. Russia is a good place, and you have an orphanage with lots of children there who can do with a mothering hand like yours.” Sullen backs me up.

  “Dimitri is a bastard – but he is a bastard with means.” Briaan adds.

  Jarrod puts a hand over Lilly’s and squeezes it tight. “If you don’t want to go, my love, we don’t go.”

  “What about Mina?” Lilly asks. I look at her surprised.

  “What about me?” and “What about Mina?” say Momma and I, simultaneously.

  “You are in danger too.”

  “Carmina is in no immediate danger, Lilly. She is not with child. You are. Carmina also has a direct line to the Ancients… you don’t, my darling. Your baby is precious… you are precious. The threat for you is bigger.” Momma speaks in soothing tones.

  “Perhaps Momma could go with you; it won’t be permanent, at least for a while, Lilly.” I encourage my little sister.

  “Fine. Will you speak to the original?” she asks me.

  “I will do it myself. I am the Elder. I will also ask Will and Esmeriska to help Carmina out.”

  My head jerks around to Momma and my eyes grow. I can’t speak because, as is the norm these days, my mouth is full of food.

  “Don’t look so surprised. You are my eldest daughter and the clan will need a figure head, if not an Elder.”

  I chew, feeling anxiety filling the space between the bites.

  Liam, who’s been deathly silent until now, rubs his palm over my back. He must have felt the change in my energy.

  “You’ll manage.” He whispers.

  Roland nudges John next to him and points a finger between Liam and me.

  “Time to break out the bosh for a wedding tune?”

  ”Nah dude, the fiddle will be wasted on them two at the moment. My brother is a slow mover.” The two of them snigger together.

  This brings forth, from Roland, a modern folk song by the High Kings – an Irish group: “It’s no! Nay! Never!” drawing laughter and attention, three claps in succession from the clan and a scowl from Liam.

  Breakfast runs its course. After clearing up, we stroll outside into the courtyard. The various members head to their jobs or homes and I spot the little blonde girl on the wall. I know she is with Briaan and Sullen but I don’t know her. I’ve seen her at the side-stall where I buy Momma’s licorice. Her eyes don’t leave me for a moment and I head towards her to investigate.

  “Carmina Rose,” I put my hand out to greet her.

  “Raina. I know who you are. Is it true you were a blood donor?”

  I stare ahead of me, swinging my legs, pinching one eye closed against the morning sun.

  “Yeah, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” I answer dryly.

  The giggle from the girl is sweet and almost enchanting.

  “I wish I knew it was you they were talking about. I’d have told them I know you, which would have shut them up.”

  “Who?”

  “My family and those who were asked if they’ve seen you. They made you sound like a myth; said you couldn’t be seen, just black and red flashes as you passed through.”

  “Hmmmm, they’re silly for their fanciful stories. I am pretty clumsy.”

  “What is it like to be human?”

  I turn to the girl and give her a big smile. “I don’t know how it is for other humans, but for me … It is like being exactly like you. I am clumsier though, as mentioned, and not so clever at times.” I knock against my head.

  Raina then repeats my own line back at me, using the exact same dry tone I did.

  “So, not all it’s cracked up to be?”

  “You got that right!”

  I spend more time with the girl on the wall and learn that she is the daughter of Sullen’s family from another caravan. She tells me that she has an infection that makes her look much older than the 13 years she is. This caused trouble amongst the travelers, as she is seen as ‘on the shelf’ and impure. In order to keep her safe, Briaan and Sullen took her in. They are not traditionalists where it comes to certain problems. I put my hand on her leg and assure her she’s not impure.

  “Some human girls would give anything to look older.”

  “Really?”

  “Sure, but it is because they can get up to more mischief, so don’t get any ideas.”

  I sit for a while talking to Raina about many things, including the licorice she sells at the side-stall. We look in the direction of the boys when there’s a squeal or a growl thrown at them from various corners of the courtyard. They are running wild. The day was speeding along lazily and I am starting to wonder if the clan will survive the trio-trouble of Jarrod, John and Roland. Of course, they tend to pester the women somewhat more, and I know how much Roland will be missed when they leave.

  Green Monster

  Rushing to the cottage, I am feeling hungry and in need of a snack. The moment I open the fridge, the door opens behind me.

  “Got some spare?” John asks.

  “No.” I snip at him.

  “I think she’s a liar. We should check her pockets,” Roland puts his hands out and I know the moving fingers means tickles. I use a drumstick as a sword, eating the other while running around the small table in my kitchen. John corners me and I throw the cleaned bone at Roland. I miss. Roland scoops the bone up fast and grins menacing.

  “John, what is that song – fer throwing things and missing, ye ken?”

  “Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me!” John sings and herds me into Roland’s arms.

  I giggle when Roland produces the chicken bone in front of my face. I put my hand to my forehead and flail over backwards to find my view filled with an upside down Liam, who, overall, does not look impressed at us.

  “Oh, by the luck of the gods, she’s fainted!” Roland protests and let go of me. I yelp but don’t hit the floor - Liam gets hold of me, pulling me to my feet.

  John opens the fridge and shouts over his shoulder.

  “Too late, big brother’s got her now, we best scram!”

  Roland strolls up to the fridge next to John, but waves the chicken bone over his shoulder at me.

  “A token from the Lady, I will keep it and cash it later. Ye owe me.”

  Roland and John skid out the door with most of the contents of my fridge in their arms.

  Liam is still holding on to me.

  “They are going be the death of this clan.” I tease. “Thanks for the rescue…” I look up to Liam, pulling my arm away from him.

  Liam tugs me closer leaning his head down and in a low voice whispers to me.

  “I’ll take my reward now.” His lips steal over mine for seconds, leaving a cold impression on my mouth. My hand moves up to my lips when he leaves as quietly as he came, staring after him. My heart marches to its own drums again.

  ***

  In the front room, Liam is licking over his lips, tasting Carmina’s sweet scent. He closes his eyes and fights the idea to march back in there, desire burning into his fiber. Seeing Carmina so happy and vibrant is not helping the growing need he feels towards her. He has to get out of the cottage, put distance between them. Liam leaves through the front door and his eyes catch the movement of his brother and the gipsy boy. Irritation grinds him to a halt. What does Carmina see in that guy? Liam chooses to go in the opposite direction to avoid contact with the man that is grating against his nerves like a pot scour.

  ***

  There is time before dinner, and with Liam out the cottage, I can take my time getting ready. I make extra effort to look good. I know Momma is watching me closely. Any indication of me not being well will result with her possibly locking me in here herself. I contemplate my stay with Dimitri and feel a pang of sadness drawing closer. I know my time with him was unhealthy but it wasn’t bad. I miss him. I miss his strange accent and his flair for the
dramatic. Dimitri taught me a lot while I was there and maybe that is what I miss as well. I miss not having Darya and Alina by my side. Not because they were servants to me, but because in their own distant way, they were supporting and encouraging me.

  When the gong sounds for dinner, I firmly push the thoughts and memories from my mind. Briaan and Sullen will be telling stories and singing tonight and I am excited. Reaching the hall, Roland is waiting in the doorway to snatch me away. He takes my hand and as always, drags me off to a dimly lit corner out of the way. The dinner hall has been transformed, all the tables removed and humongous, brightly colored pillows are scattered around the floor. Low, round tables are laden with finger foods and all the hearths are crackling. Roland flops down on a pillow and pull me down to sit between his legs. With his knees bent and his arms around my shoulders folded in front of my chest, he rests his chin on my head.

  “Your leg fort, Ma’am,” he teases mischievously. This has been our dinner seating arrangement since I can remember. I used to think that Roland was taking pity on me for missing so much out during the day on account of my clumsiness. Now I am thinking it was his way to protect me, and possibly the reason Jarrod allowed it.

  I am still trying to fix my hair out of Roland’s view – trying to stop him from chewing on it too – and don’t notice Liam entering the hall. It is Roland who points him out to me by dropping his mouth into my hair and whispering, “Big bad wolf is huffing.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. And you have a chicken bone. If all else fails, try feeding him.”

  Roland’s roaring laughter draws several looks in our direction, including a dark glare from Liam, which I promptly choose to ignore.

  ***

  Liam feels the tension rising when Roland’s challenging eyes lock on his. The gipsy doesn’t look away from him, but leans into Carmina to speak to her. Liam’s jaw tightens and he looks around the room to find his brother. John is stretched out on a pillow with Bianca and Raina, the two travelling girls. Strolling over, Liam sits down with the poking push of his brother in his awareness.

  “Relax bro, they’re friends.”

  “Why is he so close to her? And does she have to be so… much of herself around him?”

  “Dude! Chill out, Carmina is always all of herself, you’ve just been too crabby to notice. They grew up together.”

  “All the more reason….” Liam lets the rest of the thought hang in the air when he turns at the roaring laughter behind him.

  “I’ve... got… a … tiger by tail…” John sings to Liam and fades away from the brewing storm.

  ***

  Upon asking, Roland tells me that his brother has a fiancé and is with her family’s caravan to negotiate the marriage. Lucas is as rowdy as Roland, but he hardly pays me any attention. He takes traditional roles very seriously and, not being a traditional clan, he is always picky about the company he keeps.

  “How long are you staying for?” I ask.

  “For as long as it takes to move a mountain, or a volcano… or a wolf.”

  I elbow Roland hard, knowing he’s teasing about Liam. Roland proceeds to fall over onto the pillow, crying out in pain and agony drawing all the attention to us again. John calls out to Roland asking if he needs help taming a redhead Vixen and the answer from Roland sends me squeaking into a flush.

  “Lovers’ quarrel John; I lost!”

  The room is chuckling and snorting and I notice Liam’s back straightening and tensing more than usual.

  The evening was pleasant and my sides hurt with laughter. A few times I had to wipe a tear at the sad love stories from Sullen. When that happens, Roland does not tease me; instead, he hugs me closer. Some of the stories are hysterical yet… I have learned to listen to them differently. I am living a life woven from the fabrics of myth and stories and there is no denying a few hidden truths in each piece of tale told.

  The final song for the night is the same one I know and have come to love. Sullen taught me the song when I became anxious or scared from the nightmares. She says that if you get lost, there is always a rocky road that will take you to somewhere better. When Briaan starts playing the tune, Roland picks me up and hoists me over his shoulder again, parading me like a hunter’s prized catch. The room is clapping and whooping.

  “We’re not from Dublin, but there is always a rocky road…” Sullen says, “And we’re happy that our Carmina is back on the road and Lilly is taking a new one.”

  And with that, the song sounds into full swing. The clan members join in by clapping or dancing or just shouting the chorus along. Roland puts me right side up and takes my hand into a tango dance.

  “We’ve never danced before Carmina. Me kamav te khelav! [I want to dance!]” I feel the happiness bubbling at hearing the Romany language, which I have always found to be very pretty.

  “Then, let’s dance.”

  Roland whirls me around the room, guiding my every step and firmly holding me to him. I suspect he’s still worried that I may fall but soon enough he relaxes, reciting to me from an obscure poetic gipsy song.

  “Voliv tut ages [I love you today];

  Voliv tut tehara [I'll love you tomorrow];

  Voliv tut nai [but I'll love you much more];

  Desar mai anglal [Than ever before];

  Khel, khel, khel thai gilaba [Dance, dance, dance and sing];

  Av, av, av vesolo [Be, be, be happy!]”

  When the Rocky Road to Dublin song ends, Roland dips me over his arm and produces the chicken bone with the other.

  “I am cashing in. You owe me.” Sliding his arm around my waist, Roland tucks the bone into my back pocket and plants a soft, lingering kiss over my heart. “For as long as your heart beats, Carmina, and even long after it doesn’t – you will have me.”

  Standing upright, I hug Roland.

  “Thank you,” I whisper to him and turn when I feel a big, heavy hand on my shoulder.

  ***

  When the music starts up and the final song gets into full swing, Liam wants to leave. He just couldn’t bring himself to do so, knowing that Carmina is still attached to that gipsy’s arm.

  The unmistakable provocation in Roland’s eyes as he leers at Liam before he kisses Carmina’s heart moves Liam in long strides towards them. He reaches the pair just in time to hear Roland’s declaration and it is with effort that he does not punch a hole in the man’s head.

  When Carmina turns to Liam, he scoops her up effortlessly and without a word march her towards the cottage under the gapes of just about the whole clan.

  “Bed time. You’re dead on your feet.”

  “Liam! What are you doing? That is ru—”

  “Rude; spare me the lecture.”

  “I never got to say goodnight!” Carmina yells at him, fighting against his arms to be set free.

  “All the better to say good morning when you’re rested.”

  No matter how hard Carmina protests, Liam does not stop, put her down or speak again. When they get to the cottage, he unceremoniously dumps her onto the bed, shoes and all.

  ***

  When I hit the bed, I am fuming. How dare he?! I cannot deny I am shattered but Liam has no right to embarrass me like that. I also know there is no point in continuing the fight because I have already lost this round. I turn my away from Liam and feel the tips of his fingers resting against my back. Tears well up and I fall asleep crying.

  There is a deadly silence when I wake up. I am still furious at Liam and I don’t move when he gets up to leave, slamming the door behind him. When I drag myself out of bed and into the shower, I try to make sense of it all. Giving up, I wear a simple dress and head to the kitchen. I hear the stampede coming towards my door and stand facing it with my arms folded. The three bodies shuffle and jostle, trying to get inside at the same time.

  “We’re hunting before breakfast, you coming?” Jarrod speaks, the first through the door.

  “Su—” I start but am cut off by Roland.

  �
��She dinna look like a hunter Jarrod, are you sure you have the right place?”

  “Dude… you’re in for a shocker! But honestly, Carmina, you’re dress will get ruined…” John proclaims.

  I don’t try to answer. Grateful for the distraction, I fly into the bedroom to change. I tie my hair back tight as it would go and present myself for inspection to the trio.

  “Let’s go.” I command.

  “You’re not ready yet.” Roland steps forward and unties my hair, messing it up to the point where I can feel static charging through it.

  “Now, you look like a huntress.” John and Jarrod whistle their approval. Only when John speaks to Liam do I turn my head in part to look at him, again not having noticed his appearance behind me.

  “Bro, we’re out hunting, you coming?”

  “No thanks, John, I have a few things to check on at home with Mother and Father.”

  I don’t miss the tightness in Liam’s muscles when he speaks. I shoo the guys out the door and hear a soft growl when Roland asks me a question once we’re outside.

  “What do you want with that werewolf, Carmina? You need a man who will run with you!”

  I grin and shout to Roland, “He can keep up, can you?” sprinting off towards the gate.

  ***

  Standing in the kitchen, Liam is seething. Someone better put a sock in the man’s mouth.