by Jean Murray
“No one can help me.” Anger and resentment filled his voice. “You need to leave.”
“Leave? We need to talk about this. About—us.” It wasn’t just lust. She had felt his soul again, mixing with her own. She had no idea how, but he was there inside her, warming the coldness within her chest.
“There is nothing to talk about. There can be no—us,” he bellowed.
She could see the profile of his face. His eyes were a blaze, fiery orange. Kit grabbed a towel and covered the chill against her skin. “Even I know when it is time to ask for help.” She stalked past him. A master of pushing people away, Kamen’s need was beyond even hers. To say she was beyond hurt was an understatement.
God, she was in love with him. Nausea churned her gut, knowing he would not return the sentiment. Not that he didn’t have feelings for her. He was locked in a cell with no key. A key, he didn’t trust her enough to hold.
She would wait for him, god she would—no matter how long it took. But, time was not on her side. She snatched one of his t-shirts, one large enough to be a dress. Cyclops stared at her accusingly. “Shut up,” she snapped at the bear. She grabbed it and dropped it into the trashcan on the way to the door and left without looking back.
A part of her just wanted to get it over with. She was tired of fighting, and for what? Fate had found a way to force her hand. Despite all her efforts to avoid the future, it had just brought her closer to it.
Transitioning to her demi-god form was the only option to save her life, and there were no guarantees it would work. Siya had witnessed the most virtuous gods fall to Apep’s hand. What chances did she have, a bastard child of human and goddess?
Bleak didn’t quite cover her odds of beating this. Her dreams had not changed despite her attempts to manipulate the outcome.
After stopping by her room to clean up, she headed to Lilly and Asar’s suite. Her decision made. She could do this. Random sex was her specialty. Turn off her feelings and just focus on the physical act. No attachments. This would be no different.
Asar opened the door before she could knock.
“Is Lilly here?” Kit stared at the floor, hating the scrutiny of Asar’s gaze.
Her sister appeared behind Asar. Worry lined her beautiful face. “Kit, come in.”
Kit shook her head and held out the badly mangled piece of paper. “Anything to survive, right,” she replied. Tears formed in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.
Lilly wrapped her arms around her. “You made the right decision.”
Was it? She expected to sense some relief but only found emptiness.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lilly fastened Kit’s pendant necklace around her neck and looped the ties of the dress through the rings. The panels draped loosely over Kit’s breasts to her waist.
“Almost finished,” Lilly said, adjusting the skirt of Kit’s gown.
Kendra sat in the corner frowning into her book. The girl was going to give herself a migraine.
“Put the book away,” Kit said.
Kendra flipped the text shut and then slid off the couch. “I’m sorry, it’s just,” her sister shook her head, “there has to something. Maybe Kamen will come to his senses.”
“She has made her decision,” Lilly said, primping Kit like she was going to her first prom.
“Lilly’s right, this is the best way.” Kit met Kendra’s sad stare. The look on Kamen’s face told her there would be no second chances.
Asar knocked on the door. “Can you give Kit and me a minute?”
Kit sat back down. She clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking.
The Lord of the Underworld shut the door and came to sit next to her. He stared at the floor. “He refuses to come out.”
Kit chewed on the side of her lip. She had cried non-stop for the last two days while Asar made arrangements for her transition. She let him choose, figuring he would know best.
“Kamen cares for you very much. In his own way he is protecting you. I know that is no consolation, but I wanted you to know.”
“He is not going to stop this, is he?” A part of her held hope he would charge through the door and take her away. Her chest ached knowing he would never come.
Asar sighed heavily. “Not as long as he thinks he is going to hurt you.”
She turned in her seat to look Asar in the eyes. “How does he know he will?”
“He is convinced of the fact.”
“Now or later, what does it matter?” Kit shook her head. His avoidance only drove the stake deeper into her heart. If this didn’t work, she would see him soon enough.
Asar was silent a moment. “I do not agree with his choice.”
“Thanks.” Kit smiled weakly.
“Aten is here,” Asar said, raising his gaze to the door. “He has been briefed on the situation.”
Kit nodded and swallowed against her tight throat. Asar stood and exited through the long white curtains. The linens shifted with the breeze off the open veranda. The guest house was enormous, made for visiting dignitaries. Fresh flowers adorned the tables. If only she could smell them.
She stood and straightened her dress as the male voices grew louder. A tall well-muscled god opened the curtain and strode into the room. She stiffened, sensing the air of power preceding him. His long blond hair flowed over his shoulders. Creation. Kit inhaled sharply, considering the Underworld was at odds with the other Pantheon.
His soft brown eyes measured her, before bowing his head. “Madame, my name is Aten.”
“Kit,” she said and held out her hand.
He appeared amused but gasped her palm. “It is an honor to serve you.”
“And what is it you get in return?” Kit said, unamused. The male was way to pretty and perfect, exceedingly so. From his expertly manicured nails to his quaffed hair. Asar had chosen someone that reminded her nothing of Kamen.
“What makes you think, I am not doing this for the betterment of the Pantheon?” His eyebrows rose with a flirtatious charm that was almost hard to resist.
“If I’ve learned anything, gods don’t do something for nothing.” Kit crossed her arms over her chest.
He smirked. “If you must know, I owe Asar a favor. Although looking at how lovely you are, I would say he is doing me one.”
His compliment only worsened the ache in her chest.
The god poured some sweet wine and handed her a glass. “Here, this will help. I am sure this is not easy for you, and I do not mean to make light of your circumstances.”
“Thanks.” Kit downed the drink. “I might need something a little stronger.”
The god stared at the empty glass and then returned to the wet bar. “You are in love with someone else, are you not?”
“Apparently.” Kit grabbed at the fabric of her dress. Her stomach tumbled with anxiety and grief.
“I think this will do,” Aten said, raising a craft of honey colored liqueur. His movements were graceful, if not feminine.
“So what are you known for?” she asked, sipping what tasted like whiskey. Warmth spread through her stomach, easing the butterflies.
“That is like asking a woman her weight or dress size. Or how large a male’s—”
Kit raised her hand, cutting him off. “Never mind.”
He laughed and stepped closer to her. So close she tipped her head back to look up at him. “Let’s just say, I provide a service with no strings attached.”
“Oh,” Kit mouthed.
His fingers grazed her chin. “Your soul will belong to whomever you wish to give it. Although your transition will be complete.”
Kit sat, unable to stand with her knees shaking so badly. Giving up her virginity hadn’t been this difficult. Not unlike then, it couldn’t be undone. Her transition was supposed to be something special, shared with someone she loved and trusted.
He laid his hand over her clenched fist. “Whomever he is, he is a fool and an idiot. Anyone would be blessed to be part of this moment. You
deserve that much.”
She leaned her head against his chest, her pain driving her there. He slipped his hands around her and lifted her up in his arms.
His warm breath grazed her neck as he laid her on the bed. “Close your eyes, Kit. Imagine who you really want to be with. Imagine his hands touching you.”
“Kamen,” she whispered.
Aten paused, his lips against her throat and hands on her thighs. “Seems this is no favor at all. I will be sure not to show my face here again.”
Numbness consumed her as her dress fell away. Kamen had made his choice and it wasn’t her. Now, all she had to do was forget and go to that cold place in her heart. The part of her that didn’t feel or care.
A place she would stay.
Until the end of days.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kit jerked forward out of a deep sleep. Pain ripped through her chest from one shoulder down to her ribs on other side. Grabbing at her chest, she leaned forward. Sweat beaded on her upper lip. The pain left as quickly as it came. Panting, she lay back down on the pillow. Her muscles remained clenched, fearful the pain would return without warning.
Shit, shit, shit.
She had witnessed Lilly’s transition and it wasn’t pretty. Her sister’s body burned with high fever for days. The pain so intense Lilly screamed even in her comatose state. What worried Kit the most, she didn’t know the difference between her transition and the evil overtaking her body. Or both.
The sense of dread drove her out of the bed. She went to the bathroom and stared in the mirror, specifically looking for hieroglyphics on her chest. Nothing.
Aten said her soul would be preserved. Unbonded. It felt hollow enough.
“Kit,” Kendra called from the door. “I hoped to be here when you woke. Sorry, I slipped away to grab a book.”
“I’m fine.” Kit splashed her face with some water and then grabbed her robe. “How long have I been out?”
Kendra paused. “Less than twenty-four hours.”
“What?” Kit looked up at Kendra’s reflection in the mirror. Lilly’s transition had been weeks. Kit should know, she spent every waking minute at Lilly’s side. “That can’t be good.”
“How do you feel?”
Besides the phantom pain, she felt—normal. The sex had been—god, she didn’t want to think about it. Her mind was twisted and exhausted from the turmoil of emotions. Not to mention she was three days closer to the day of reckoning. “I’m fine.” Kit walked to the bureau and pulled out a new leather uniform.
“What are you doing?” Kendra’s mouth hung open. “You need to rest.”
“I can sleep when I’m dead.” She shimmied on her pants and pulled her halter top over her head. “We have less than a week to get things prepared. I need to get back to the warehouse. Clean things up.”
“Kit, there is no warehouse.”
“What?” Kit whirled around to face her sister.
“It was destroyed the day you were taken.”
“The huntresses?” Kit’s heart stilled, realizing the attack extended beyond the temple.
Kendra’s face paled. “No one survived, except Kamen.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Her sister walked forward and grasped Kit’s hands. “You had just been through, gods knows what. Lilly did not think it wise to upset you further. I’m so sorry.”
Kit looked away, remembering the siravant bursting free of its human form. The claws digging into her wrist. She rubbed her thumb over the scars. Several platoons were in that warehouse, over five hundred huntresses, plus all the weapons and aircraft. “Was anything salvable?” Kit asked, trying not to think of the death toll.
“The siravants left most of the ammunition untouched, the hanger was a total loss. Everyone is meeting now to discuss our next move.”
“In Asar’s office?” Kit slid her feet into her boots.
“Yes, but—”
Kit stalked towards the door.
“You need to rest. You don’t know how the transition will affect your body.” Kendra scurried down the palace hallway after her.
“I’m not going to sit around waiting for it.” Work meant not thinking about Kamen or any of the shitty things happening.
With her hand resting on the door knob of Asar’s office, Kit took a deep breath, mustering her courage and resolve to face the group and Kamen. She yanked open the door without knocking. She didn’t want to give them the opportunity to shut her out.
Scanning the room, she ignored all the wide stares. Kamen was nowhere to be found, thankfully.
“Kit!” Lilly rose to her feet and glanced at Kendra over Kit’s shoulder.
“Don’t let me interrupt.” Kit walked over and sat in the only open seat. She folded her arms over her chest and crossed her legs.
Silence consumed the air in the room. Asar cleared his throat. “That is all for now. Complete your tasks and meet back at sundown.” Bakari, Bomani and Siya all filed out of the room, leaving Lilly, Kendra and Asar staring at Kit.
“Is there a problem?” Kit asked, getting the impression Asar dismissed the group before the meeting was finished.
Asar leaned back in his chair. “You need to be resting.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” Lilly sat next to her and brushed Kit’s hair from her face.
Her sister’s touch burned her skin. Kit lurched up out of the seat and retreated a few steps. “I said I’m fine,” she repeated, sounding like a god damn broken record.
Asar exchanged looks with her sisters then rose and moved around the desk. “It is far too early for you to be up and around.”
“Is there something else you are not telling me?” Kit searched each of their faces. Her heart thundered in her chest. Fear curled around her like a blanket. Did they not want her here?
Kendra stepped in front of Asar. “You needed time to adjust, as did Lilly and me.”
Kit straightened her spine, forcing herself to hold it together. “I’ll be fine once we kick Apep’s ass.”
Asar sat on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms over his broad chest.
“Give me something to do, or I will go mad.” Kit ran her hand over her hair. Staying busy was the only way she could block everything else out.
“I am going to be upfront with you. Siya recommends keeping you out of the planning meetings for obvious reasons. You will require an escort through the palace. Please understand this is for everyone’s safety until we know for sure.”
Kit nodded. Granted she didn’t like what he was saying, but it made logical sense. If her transition did not stop Apep’s blood from spreading to her soul, she was a potential threat.
“If you must keep busy, I do have something for you to work on. You have intimate knowledge of Duat. Knowledge we need. I need you to map out the terrain. Tell us everything you can. See it through Apep’s eyes. Anything you can give us will be helpful.”
“I can do that.” At least she hoped. Hell, she didn’t know how she even got there. Regardless, she had purpose.
“I need Kamen to work with you.”
“No fucking way.” Kit shook her head.
“He will be told today.”
“Are you trying to torture me?” Kit gasped. Even Lilly went pale at his suggestion.
“He is the only other person who has been there.” Asar’s voice left nothing for discussion.
“I’d rather have Bakari shove one of his daggers in my heart than be in the same room with Kamen.” Kit’s pain spiked in her chest. Passing him in the hall would be one thing, actually being with him in the same square footage—unacceptable.
“Asar, we need to talk about this.” Lilly turned squarely to her husband.
“My decision has been made. They need to work it out. I will not have dissension in my house heading into a war. We have seven days until the earth and moon are in alignment. There is no time for hurt feelings.”
“When were you going to t
ell me about this?” Lilly barked.
“This is not a discussion. This is war.”
“Kamen is in no condition to be around Kit. I will not stand by and watch him hurt her again.”
“He was doing what he thought was best.”
The yelling hurt Kit’s ears and made her head throb. Kendra grabbed Kit’s hand and pulled her out into the hall, leaving their eldest sister to battle it out.
“Com’on, let’s go to your room.”
Kit followed, not really caring where she went, she just had to get away from the noise. Kendra pushed open the door and led Kit to the bed.
Kit curled up into one of the pillows. Kendra climbed in next to her. “Are you going to be okay?” Kendra’s concerned voice brought tears to Kit’s eyes.
“No,” she answered honestly.
“I’m so sorry, Kit.” Kendra hugged her.
Kit embraced her sister. She was struck by the irony. Kit was usually the one comforting Kendra.
“I thought any minute Kamen would come for me.” Even after Aten, she prayed Kamen would scoop her up and hold her. Tell her everything would be okay, no matter what her visions told her.
“I thought the same about Bakari, and he finally found his way back to me. From what I understand, Kamen has been alone for a very long time. You can’t expect him to just jump into this. He cares for you, everyone can see that.”
“What am I going to do? I’m running out of time.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to save him.”
Save him? He was a god with extraordinary strength. Not to mention every time she thought of facing him, her mouth went dry and her stomach did flips. “So much has happened. What would I even say?”
Kendra smiled. “You have always had a way with words.”
Kit snorted, knowing Kendra was referring to the plethora of swear words in her word bank. A part of her wanted to be angry with Kamen. Hate him. The other—wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and beg for his forgiveness. However respectful Aten had been, she felt violated and worse, guilty for betraying Kamen. Even though Kamen had no obligations to her, still she felt horrible.
