Breaking Routine

by Melissa Tereze

  Was Cait concerned about that? Absolutely not.

  “I still can’t believe you showed up tonight,” Mandy, one of Cait’s oldest friends, said as she topped up her wine glass. “And I have to say, you’re looking brilliant.”

  Cait sipped her wine. “Thanks.”

  “I always have it in my head that you’re sitting at home with a bowl of crisps watching Bridget Jones.”

  “I don’t have time to do that. But it sounds like my kinda night.”

  Mandy leaned in with a suspicious look in her eyes. “Do you remember Liz from the top of the hill? Daniel’s sister?”

  “Liz?” Cait cast her mind back, drawing a blank. “I don’t believe I do.”

  “Oh, you do. Blonde, leggy, same year as us in school,” Irene, another friend, cut in.

  “Vaguely.”

  Mandy cleared her throat, placing her palms flat on the table between them. “Well, turns out…she’s one of your lot. Daniel caught her with a woman a few weeks ago.”

  “Caught her? She’s a woman in her 40s. There’s nothing to catch.”

  “You know what I mean.” Mandy rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Daniel was telling Barry about it. And Barry may have thrown your name into the conversation.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  Mandy’s forehead creased. “Because you’re single and so is she…”

  Cait blew out a long breath. Her friends never ceased to amaze her. “Wow. So now I’m the local desperate lesbian who gets pimped out?”

  “Don’t be dramatic. I just told her you were looking. Because you are, right? Now that Jude has put on his big boy pants and taken on a role at the B&B, you’re definitely looking.”

  Cait paused for a moment. Was she looking? Yes, but not in Liz’s direction. “I’m not looking, exactly. I…have my eye on someone else.”

  “There’s no one else here, Cait. Come on, we live in a tiny town, you have to be realistic about these things.”

  “Mandy Routledge, are you telling me you want your best friend to settle for the first woman that looks her way?”

  “If you’d have asked me that 10 years ago, I would have said no. But we’re not getting any younger, pretty lady.”

  “I’m aware of that. My knees ache every night.”

  “And I’m sure you want to get some action in before you need replacements, don’t you?”

  “From Liz who I don’t even know? No, thanks.”

  Mandy nodded, resting back against her chair. “Fine. But at least tell me you’ll consider it. I even got her number for you.”

  Mandy wasn’t giving this up, but Cait wasn’t going to give in, either. “I’m sure she’ll find someone. But it won’t be me.” No, Cait had Harper on her mind. Entertaining another woman would be both unfair and a waste of time. “And we’re not here to discuss my non-existent love life. We’re here to catch up.”

  “Fair enough. I’ll order us some cocktails while you ladies have a look at the menu.”

  Now that was something Cait could get on board with. Food and drinks with friends. Real friends. They may like to interfere, Mandy especially, but they all had Cait’s best interests at heart.

  Cait took a menu from the holder, opening it on the tapas dishes. “Right, ladies. Let’s eat.”

  Harper braced herself against the sink in the kitchen. She just needed a moment to breathe. Callie was sitting on the couch, helping herself to the bottle of wine she’d brought with her, away with the fairies when it came to having a clue about the wrong she’d done.

  Harper wasn’t prepared for this. She didn’t know what to say to Callie once she sat down with her to talk. And the worst of it? Callie wasn’t even due here today. But now that she was here, Harper wanted this over and done with. After a four-year relationship, they at least deserved to talk, to understand what went wrong. Tonight was apparently the night.

  Harper rolled her head on her shoulders, grabbing the beer she’d opened moments ago. Her home was nearly complete, the new couches delivered yesterday afternoon, and the carpet had been fitted by Darren yesterday morning. Knowing that it was taking shape meant that Harper felt better here. And because this was entirely her own space, she didn’t feel uncomfortable with the fact that Callie was sitting on her brand-new couch. This was Harper’s home. Callie should remember that and show some respect.

  “Okay, come on. You’ve got this,” Harper whispered to herself as she turned and headed for the living room. She eyed Callie, a large glass of red wine in one hand, her long legs crossed. “How was the drive?”

  “Longer than I expected. I don’t remember it being so boring the last time you and I drove up here.”

  “Or the time you rocked up with what’s her face?”

  Callie offered a sheepish smile. “Ruby.”

  “Right. Ruby.” Harper took the opposite end of the couch, the space between her and Callie calming her nerves further. She didn’t know why she was nervous; she wasn’t the one who’d fucked this all up. “So…”

  “First, I want to say I’m really sorry for bringing Ruby here. It wasn’t my place to do that, and I can understand why you were so angry last weekend.”

  Everything within Harper recoiled at the mention of Ruby’s name, the hairs on her arms standing to attention. She felt her emotions surging to the surface, but she wouldn’t let them defeat her. She had to show Callie that she wasn’t interested in her lame apologies. If she hadn’t done it in the first place, no apology would be necessary. “Why did you do it?”

  “Trying to show off maybe? I don’t know.”

  “Show off to who? Ruby?”

  Callie lowered her eyes, resting her wine glass on her thigh. “Ruby likes the excitement of things. Sitting home at night watching TV doesn’t quite do it for her.”

  “So, you shag her in other people’s beds instead?”

  Callie sighed. “I know what I did was unforgivable, Harper. And I know that I’m pushing my luck by even being here, but I am sorry.”

  “Fine. Yeah.”

  “Harper, do you think maybe we could be friends?”

  Not in a million years.

  “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know why you’d want to remain friends. I wasn’t good enough for you when we were together, so why would I be good enough for you now?”

  “I lost my way. I thought I needed something more than what we had. And, I don’t know, everything just became routine with us. The same thing day in, day out.”

  “I don’t follow.”

  “Oh, come on. It got to the point where we ate the same thing each week on a particular night. Our bedroom routine was the same, our showering routine was the same. Just…everything. There was no spark there anymore.”

  “No spark?” Harper’s eyes widened. “I was so in love with you, Cal. I would have done anything for you. If you’d just told me how you were feeling, I could have changed all that. You know I would have done and tried anything to make us happy. And I thought we were.”

  “We were. But it just wasn’t enough in the end. And I know I’m just as much to blame for that as you, but she gave me attention. She flirted and asked how my weekend was. She invited me to dinner, to clubs…I was always her main focus.”

  “And I sat at home alone thinking you were working late, when really, you were sleeping with her.” Harper didn’t want to cry, but Callie was making her feel really shit right now. “I’m sorry I didn’t make you happy. But you’re happy now, and that’s what matters.”

  Callie shifted on the couch, placing her glass of wine down as she took Harper’s face in her hands. “You did make me happy. And to this day, I know it’s you I should spend my life with and grow old with. But I messed up and I can’t take back what I did.”

  Callie’s breath washed over Harper’s lips, her eyes fluttering closed. It was a brief kiss, neither stirring nor haunting. What registered with Harper was the complete nothingness she felt as it happened.

  “I’ll always love you, you made me happier
than anything in this world, but we’re moving on, babe.”

  Harper pulled back, nodding. “Yeah, we are.” She wiped a stray tear from her jaw, lowering her eyes to her lap. “But thanks for coming by. For being honest. I just wish things could have been different.”

  “Could they be?” Callie asked, her eyebrow lifted. “Do you think maybe—”

  “That I’d take you back?”

  Callie nodded slowly.

  “No, Callie. We’re done. I could never trust you again.” That was half the truth, but the part Harper had left out was the most important part. Cait Taylor. Of course, Cait had no idea how much Harper was thinking about her, wanting something more, but in time, she would. “Ruby is who you chose. Be happy with her.”

  Cait’s hand rested on the sash window, her heart slowly sliding into her stomach. The walk up the hill had been refreshing, and it gave her time to think while she was alone, but everything she’d planned in her head and everything she wanted to say to Harper had disappeared.

  This shouldn’t hurt as much as it did.

  Harper…was nothing to her. Not really. And yet, Harper meant a lot to her. She’d sat tonight with friends telling them all about Harper Grey. But now, here she was, standing outside Harper’s home, watching her kiss her ex-girlfriend. Cait knew it was her; she remembered her from their stay at the B&B.

  While Cait wanted Harper to be happy, she wasn’t sure that would happen with Callie. It wasn’t her business, Cait understood that, but she didn’t want to see Harper get hurt.

  This isn’t your problem. She was only ever your friend.

  Cait backed away from Harper’s window, realising that she had been standing around far longer than could be deemed acceptable. The last thing she needed was to be caught by Harper, peering through her window. She hadn’t done it intentionally; she’d just seen a light on as she reached the top of the hill and hoped maybe she could catch Harper for half an hour. That hadn’t happened, and if Callie was back on the scene, it wouldn’t likely happen ever again.

  Moving as quickly as her heels would allow, Cait reached the B&B and shoved her keys into the lock. The office light was on, so Jude was still working, but she just wanted to change into something more comfortable and have a cuppa before she called it a night. It was Friday, ten in the evening, and Cait was ready for bed. As rock and roll as always.

  It’s no wonder she’s not interested in you. You have zero sex appeal and a dreadful personality to match.

  “Cait?” Jude’s voice filtered down the stairs. “Is that you?”

  “It’s me. I’m home early,” she said, her voice low so as not to wake any already sleeping guests. “Everything okay here?”

  “Everything is fine. We had a walk-in earlier, but it’s otherwise quiet. It’ll pick up soon once the weather clears up.”

  “To be honest, I’m enjoying it being less busy for now. It means I’m not shattered each night.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” Jude smiled, turning out the light in the office. “You headed up?”

  Cait slipped out of her heels, relief flooding her body as her toes relaxed into the thick pile carpet. “Yeah. I need sleep.”

  “You’re a bit early…”

  Cait was aware of that. “I thought maybe I’d stop off somewhere on the way home, but I didn’t bother.”

  “At Harper’s?” Jude followed his sister up the stairs, his voice smooth and understanding. “I’m surprised she didn’t take you up on the offer of joining you and Mandy.”

  “She’s…busy.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m glad she’s finding her place here and keeping busy.”

  Emotion welled in Cait’s throat. Harper was busy with her ex, not busy with her life. “Yeah, me too.”

  Jude must have noted the tremble in his sister’s voice, his hand on her wrist as they reached the top of the stairs. “What’s going on? You’re upset.”

  “I’m fine. It’s been a long day, nothing else.”

  “You’re my sister, Cait. I know when something’s wrong. Talk to me.”

  “You know how you’ve been bringing up Harper since the moment she arrived, telling me how I should put myself out there?”

  Jude nodded.

  “I really like her, Jude,” Cait said, a single tear falling. “And when I say that, I mean that I can picture us together next Christmas, decorating the tree and stuff. Mulled wine. Cookies. Snuggles. I see it all the time.”

  “That’s great.” Jude grinned, but it faltered when Cait didn’t share his enthusiasm. “Isn’t it?”

  “I was going to call in and see her on my way home from dinner. I’d sat at that table all night thinking about her while Mandy was trying to set me up with Liz, so I really wanted to see her.”

  “Liz? Daniel’s Liz?”

  “That’s the one.”

  Jude shook his head. “She’s not your type. No way.”

  “Agreed, even though I have no idea who she is.”

  “So, what’s the issue with Harper? I mean, I know you’re reluctant because of the time you have to put into this place, but Harper seems like the kind to understand. And she’s definitely into you. You’re joined at the hip lately.”

  “I was about to knock on the door when I heard talking. I may have peeked through the window. I didn’t want to disturb her if she had company, and she did. She had her ex over.”

  “So?”

  “So, they looked cosy. And that’s fine. But if she’s kissing someone else, I have to get her out of my head, Jude. If they’re making a go of it, I’d never stand in the way of that. She was engaged to the woman after all.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry.”

  Cait lifted a hand, rubbing Jude’s upper arm. “It’s fine. It’s not the end of the world.”

  “You’ll still be friends, though.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Cait, you can’t throw away your friendship because she’s back with her girlfriend.”

  Her girlfriend. Cait shuddered at the thought. Harper wasn’t available, and that was the end of that. “They probably won’t need me around. Harper won’t if she has Callie back. But like I said, Harper’s happiness is what matters. She’s so great; I don’t want her to spend her days moping around. She should be happy, and Callie must make her happy.”

  “Sleep on it, okay? Everything may feel different in the morning.” Jude gave Cait a knowing look, but there really wasn’t anything to sleep on.

  “Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s back with her ex.”

  “Sorry, kid.” Jude enveloped Cait in one of his warm hugs, rubbing her back. “But you’re willing to get back out there, so don’t let this stop you. Maybe Harper just wasn’t meant to be.”

  But she was. She was so meant to be.

  “Yeah. You’re right.”

  Chapter Nine

  Cait rubbed at her temples, resting against the counter in the kitchen of the B&B. She wasn’t prepared for guests this morning, but she had no choice other than to suck it up and get on with her day. This was her life; it always would be.

  Jude’s voice could be heard outside, welcoming guests for breakfast, but Cait didn’t have the capacity just yet to make herself known. Jude knew she was here and working but behind the scenes was best for the time being. She could pretend to be happy in a couple of hours once people milled about and enquired about their potential day ahead. That was when Cait would plaster on that fake smile she’d mastered over the years.

  “Sorry about last week, Cait.” Tom offered her a slight smile, flipping the bacon on the grill before perfecting his fried eggs. “That bloody Renault has to go. I’m throwing money at it for nothing now.”

  Cait snapped out of her daze, giving her full attention to Tom. “Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”

  “I know, but I left you in the dark.”

  “Jude stepped in. His bacon isn’t half as good as yours, you get it just right, but the guests didn’t complain. It was
lucky we didn’t have any regulars in.”

  “Is that a hint for some bacon on toast, Cait?”

  The thought of it sent a wave of nausea through her. When she was worried or upset, Cait struggled to eat. “No, thank you. I’m okay.”

  “I could rustle up some black pudding to go with it.” Tom eyed Cait, his signature smile settling her worries, his highlighted hair styled with a quiff. “You know you want to.”

  “I’ll grab some when breakfast is finished, okay?”

  Tom curtsied. “It shall be waiting…”

  Cait shook her head, her ponytail tickling the back of her neck as she laughed. Tom had joined the B&B just over a year ago, and his breakfast rating was exceptional on the review sites. He was a nice guy with a love for cats; what more could she want in an employee? “I’d better get out there and give Jude a hand.”

  “Nonsense. Sit in here and give me all the gossip.”

  Cait’s lips curled into another smile. “I’d love to, but I have work to do and zero gossip.”

  Tom sighed dramatically. “God, this town needs a bit of fire in its belly. It’s painfully boring at times.”

  “Oh, actually.” Cait spun around. “Do you know Liz?”

  “Daniel’s sister?” Tom enquired.

  “Why am I the only person that doesn’t know who she is?” Cait really needed to take her head out of her arse and pay more attention to the town and its people.

  “She’s one of us, you know.”

  Cait threw up her hands. How did Tom know but she didn’t? “You could have told me.”

  Tom stood with a hand on his hip, waving his spatula around the air between them. “Quite frankly, I can’t believe you didn’t know, Cait. She’s one of the only women around here who people think is straight that isn’t married.”

  “Is she on social media?”

  “Of course. She’s been on mine for years.” Tom lowered the grill, grabbing his phone from a high shelf away from the kitchen appliances. “One sec.”