Breaking Routine

by Melissa Tereze

  “I’m good, thanks.”

  “You can’t think everyone is the same as Melanie.” Cait gave Jude a knowing look. Her brother didn’t often say how he was feeling, but Cait saw it in his eyes. She always did. “It’s been almost two years.”

  “And in those two years, I’ve never felt so free.”

  “Please consider it.” She wouldn’t get on Jude’s back about his private life, but Cait wanted him to have what she was beginning to enjoy. She wanted him to have someone by his side, someone who cared about him. “For me?”

  “I don’t have time for a relationship. I’m turning into you, and that’s fine by me.”

  Cait got to her feet, taking Harper’s bouquet from the table. “Don’t even joke about that. I wouldn’t wish the loneliness on my worst enemy.”

  “Cait Taylor…has enemies?”

  Cait rolled her eyes. She didn’t have time for this any longer. “We all have enemies.”

  As she made a beeline for the front door, Jude cleared his throat. “I’m really happy for you, sis.”

  Cait turned, smiling. “Let me make sure it’s going to last before we celebrate.”

  “Harper’s great.”

  The greatest, Cait thought. “I won’t be late, okay? Don’t wait up. I have my key for the main door.”

  Jude smirked, eventually lifting one eyebrow.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. I just think it’s bold of you to assume you’ll even be coming home tonight.”

  “Hey, I may feel lucky…but I’m not that lucky.”

  Without another word, Cait left her flat and rushed down the stairs. She needed fresh, cool evening air to lower the temperature of her skin. Between hoping about what could be and worrying about the reception she could potentially face from Harper, Cait felt flustered.

  Forcing her feet to move forward rather than back, she blew out a frosty breath and pushed on. Just another moment and she would see those striking blue eyes, that genuine and heart-warming smile. She would see Harper, and everything else would fall into place.

  As she reached Harper’s home, Cait stopped and looked up at the house. It wasn’t quite in darkness, but the slight light trickling through the windows in some way suggested that Harper didn’t want to be disturbed. Maybe she could leave the flowers on the step and knock before leaving. Maybe she should just go back home. Or maybe, just maybe, Cait could bite the bullet of not wanting to inconvenience Harper and make herself known.

  Just knock. You have nothing to lose.

  But she did. Cait hadn’t realised it before right now, but she had everything to lose this evening. If Harper didn’t invite Cait in, she would crumble into a thousand pieces in front of her.

  Well, you won’t know unless you knock.

  Cait stepped through the gate to the side of the garden and curled her hand into a fist, knocking loudly. The scent of Italian food wafted through the door, and as Cait peeked her head to the left, she noted the lit candles and the romantic ambience.

  Her heart sank.

  Harper had company.

  She turned to walk away, almost losing her footing as she twisted off the pavement onto the stones. But then the door opened, and Harper was calling her name. When Cait turned around, she couldn’t help but notice the makeup Harper was wearing. She wasn’t sure she’d seen mascara and eyeliner on her before, but it only made Harper’s eyes all the more enticing.

  “Cait?” Harper pulled Cait from the million thoughts she had whirring around her mind. “You okay?”

  “I-I…yes.” Cait got herself together. She couldn’t crumble. She refused to look a fool. “I just wanted to bring you these, but this isn’t a good time for you, so I’ll just go.”

  “Not a good time?”

  Cait glanced down at the flowers then back up at Harper. “You have company, don’t you?”

  “Uh…” Harper wore a look of confusion, glancing over her shoulder.

  “It’s fine. I should have known. It all makes sense now.” Cait’s hands started to tremble, her bottom lip ready to follow suit at any moment. “I shouldn’t have called, I’m sorry.”

  “Cait, what the hell are you talking about?”

  “You didn’t mention Valentine’s Day. And I thought that maybe it just wasn’t your thing, or maybe we weren’t at that point yet, but I understand now. You look really beautiful tonight.” Cait paused, swallowing down the emotion in her throat. That solid lump that wouldn’t budge. “Is it Callie?” With her best fake smile plastered across her face, Cait searched Harper’s eyes. “It is, isn’t it?”

  “It’s you.” Harper stepped out of the house, taking Cait’s free hand. “And if I knew this would be your reaction, I’d have told you about it last week.”

  “Told me about what?”

  “Our first official date. On Valentine’s Day. Just me and you.”

  Cait’s emotions no longer wished to be suppressed as a single tear slipped down her cheek. Harper’s thumb immediately caught it, a soft smile on her lips.

  “You really thought I had plans with someone else?”

  Cait chewed the inside of her cheek. She’d never felt so ridiculous. “I…no. I don’t know.”

  “I’m surprised he even managed to get you here,” Harper said, guiding Cait into the house. The warmth enveloped her immediately; something about Harper’s place really did put Cait at ultimate ease. “And I can’t believe he didn’t let it slip out either.”

  “He? Who’s he?”

  “Jude. He knew all about it. I asked him to get you here for seven.”

  Jude was in on this? Wow, Cait really did have people who cared around her. Jude had always been there for her in many ways, but since Harper’s arrival, they seemed to be closer than ever before. And Cait loved it.

  “He’s not usually very good at keeping quiet, so I’d take that as a compliment.”

  Harper nodded. “Noted.”

  Cait wasn’t sure what to do with herself, the bouquet of roses still in her hand. She really was lacking in experience, but Harper didn’t seem at all concerned. That was just another reason for the note she’d written on the card attached to the flowers.

  Thank you for being you…

  “I know we hadn’t arranged anything, and we don’t technically have any concrete plans, but these are for you.” Cait stepped closer to Harper, holding out the roses. “And I’m really bad at this so forgive me for my nerves.”

  Harper grinned, taking the roses from Cait. Her slender fingers stroked the delicate deep red petals, tufts of gypsy grass within the bouquet adding that little something extra. “They’re really pretty.” Harper read the note, her eyes gleaming as she lifted her head and smiled. “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry about just before. I wasn’t sure you wanted me to even come over, you know?”

  “No, I don’t know.”

  “I cancelled plans with you three times this week, Harper. And as much as I really love being here with you, or anywhere with you for that matter, I understand that you probably need more.”

  “I’m good.” Harper leaned in, pressing a kiss below Cait’s ear. A shiver ran down her spine, soft breath tickling her skin. “And if you’d like to take your coat off, dinner is almost ready.”

  Cait couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Not only had she gotten the wrong end of the stick this evening, Harper had laid on what Cait knew would be a beautiful dinner. If she ever could have landed on her feet in the exact place she wished to be, it was here. In this house. With Harper.

  Harper topped Cait’s wine glass up, an expensive red she’d looked up online to complement dinner. She could sit here and pretend to know what she was talking about when it came to wine and food, but Harper would only end up looking a fool by the end of the night. She didn’t know the first thing about what went with which. And she wouldn’t pretend to. Cait wouldn’t appreciate that.

  “Is everything okay with your food?”

  “Are you joking?” Cait closed her e
yes as she took another mouthful of the fettuccine Harper had actually made from scratch. A slight moan spilled from Cait’s full lips, her eyelids fluttering open once she’d swallowed. “It’s amazing.”

  “To be honest, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Thankfully, I found a pretty straightforward recipe to follow, so I couldn’t really get it wrong.”

  “This is just as good, if not better, than Piccolo down the street.”

  “Oh, I’m sure it’s really nothing like the real stuff.”

  Cait lowered her fork, sliding her hand across the table towards Harper’s. “Really. It’s exceptional.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Harper said, satisfied by Cait’s hand in her own. “And if the wine is no good, let me know, and I’ll open something else.”

  “The wine goes perfectly with it all. Trust me, this is great.”

  “So, did you really think I had plans with someone else?” Harper had thought about it since Cait walked through the door, but they were adult enough to discuss it. If it were Callie sitting across from her, Harper knew she would be soon eating dinner alone. But Harper should have seen that as a sign as the months went on. If Harper ever questioned anything Callie did, the late nights at the office, her ex would fly off the handle. Maybe it was the guilt, who knew?

  “I think I just panicked. I didn’t expect you to come out looking the way you do, and I didn’t expect all of this. But I’m really sorry, if that counts for anything.”

  Harper lifted a shoulder. “No apology needed.”

  “And nobody has ever done anything like this for me before, so when I realised what was happening…I thought it couldn’t have possibly been for me.”

  “All of this is only for you, Cait.”

  Cait lowered her eyes, swirling her fettuccine around her fork. “I’ve had a great night so far.”

  “Good. That was my plan all along.” Harper finished the last of her food, pushing her plate away. “And I think the lack of seeing you this week only made me more excited for this evening. I barely slept last night.”

  “Why? Is everything okay?”

  “For the first time in a long time, everything is more than okay.”

  “Good. That’s good.” Cait finished her own food, placing her plate on top of Harper’s. “I think I picked the right woman to take an interest in.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, you can cook,” Cait said, grinning. “And then to find someone who can cook, have a great smile, and a heart of gold. Jackpot.”

  Okay, Harper could certainly get used to hearing those things said about her. More so when they were coming from Cait’s sweet lips. But she still felt a blush spreading across her chest, the tips of her ears heating. “Thanks.”

  “And I was wondering…well, it’s something I’ve been thinking about all week actually…”

  “Uh-oh. That’s not a good sign.”

  “I want to take you kayaking.”

  Harper’s heart slid so deep into her stomach that she was convinced it had just fallen out of her arse. “What?”

  “Kayaking. On the lake. Not too far out, just along the edge.” Cait’s joyful voice might have been music to Harper’s ears on any normal day, but this wasn’t a normal day. As much as Harper wanted to overcome her fear, she wasn’t sure she was ready yet. And the water would be so cold. If she fell in, she’d die from the shock. “Think of it as another date.”

  That only made Harper feel worse. How could she turn a date down with Cait? “I…okay.”

  Cait’s eyes lit up. “Yeah?”

  “If it’s something I have to do to be with you, yeah.”

  “I don’t want you to do it if it’s going to cause you any distress, Harper.”

  Harper’s mouth dried, her pulse hammering in her ears. “No, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m not turning down another date with you. It’ll give you a bad impression of me.”

  Cait relaxed back, sipping her wine. “It’s really gorgeous on the lake.”

  “Yeah.” Harper offered a weak smile. She wasn’t sure she could bring herself to get in a kayak, but she could only try. “I’m sure it is.”

  Harper fell silent, blowing out a deep relaxing breath. But it didn’t relax her. It only made her feel worse. The anxiety creeping through her veins was almost overpowering.

  “Could you give me a minute?” Harper asked, pushing her chair back. “Need the loo.”

  “Of course.”

  Harper shot up the stairs, closing the bathroom door behind her. With her hands braced against the back of the door, she dropped her head between her shoulders, her knees trembling. She really wanted to do this, she knew she needed to get it out of the way, but what if she let Cait down? What if Cait realised just how boring Harper was when it came to expanding her skills with something new and what Cait would deem exciting? Harper couldn’t bring herself to think about the possibility of letting such a beautiful woman down, but it might ultimately happen.

  Maybe this was why Callie cheated. Maybe Harper was too miserable and scared to try something new. Perhaps Ruby was adventurous and spontaneous. Harper clearly wasn’t.

  A tear slid down her cheek, dropping to the floor. She looked down at her feet, the brand-new pair of Vans she’d ordered for tonight’s special date staring back at her, and shook her head. This was pointless. She should tell Cait how she really felt. And then Cait could decide the best thing for herself. Harper would just hope that it wasn’t too big of a deal to her potential girlfriend.

  She scoffed, Cait would never choose this. The woman was from The Lakes. Water sport was probably in her veins. Harper, not so much.

  As she wiped her cheeks and opened the bathroom door, the sound of plates being cleared away caught her attention. Cait was supposed to be relaxing this evening, not doing the dishes. Harper shot down the stairs, stopping when she reached the living room door. Cait had placed the plates on the worktop and was now crouched down in front of the fire as she added more wood.

  “Thanks,” Harper said, wrapping her arms around herself. “I keep forgetting to put wood on to keep the fire going.”

  “You’ll get the hang of it.”

  Harper smiled. “Yeah, once I’m freezing my tits off.”

  “I thought maybe we could sit down together, watch some TV or a movie. Unless you had something in mind.”

  Harper would love that, but first she had to be honest about Cait’s date. “About before.”

  Cait’s forehead creased as she sat back on her knees. “Before?”

  “The date. Kayaking. I just…I don’t think I can do it, Cait. But that’s not me turning you down for a second date, not at all.”

  “Is that why you left the table?” Cait asked, climbing to her feet. “Because you didn’t want to say no?”

  “Kinda. Yeah.” Harper rubbed at her forearm, casting her gaze on the floor. “It was probably the wrong thing for me to do. You know, moving here. I’m not that kind of person, but I’m sure you are.”

  “I mean, I enjoy it when I go out on the water, but it’s hardly the end of the world.”

  “I think this is where I went wrong last time,” Harper explained. “In my last relationship.” Cait took Harper by the hand, guiding her towards the couch. Once they were sitting comfortably next to one another, Harper blew out a deep breath. Cait, as always, was giving her the time she needed to explain herself. “You’re probably looking for someone who is adventurous. And I wouldn’t blame you—”

  “What do you want, Harper?”

  “You.”

  Cait’s smile widened, her hands resting on Harper’s thighs. “Then why are you so worried?”

  “Because I don’t want you to settle for someone like me if you need more. As much as I love being with you, which is so much by the way, I wouldn’t expect you to be here if it wasn’t what you really wanted.”

  “That night you knocked on the door to the B&B was the first night I’d felt something in so long. I’d noticed yo
u before, of course I had, but that night? God, that night I really noticed you.”

  Harper smiled shyly, her eyes drifting to her hands in her lap.

  “Whether we are together on land or on water doesn’t concern me. It’s that we’re together at all. It’s all I need, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “You’re not listening to me, are you?” Cait gripped Harper’s jaw gently, lifting her eyes. “I’m serious, Harper. This, what we’ve done tonight, it’s been perfect.”

  “I just wanted you to myself. No interruptions.” Harper didn’t care if she sounded selfish, it was true. “I just wanted to be with you.”

  “So, tell me.” Cait shifted closer. “What do you want for the rest of this night?”

  “In an ideal world, you’d still be here in the morning, but I know that’s not possible. So, for the time I can keep a hold of you, I’d love to just hang out. Watch a movie. I’m sure I have some dessert chilling in the fridge that I may or may not have whipped up myself.”

  “Oh?” Cait quirked an eyebrow.

  “Raspberry and passion fruit tarts.” Harper shot to her feet; she didn’t want to ruin anymore of this night with her insecurities or her fears. Time with Cait was far too precious for that. “Let me get the kitchen cleared away while you put your feet up.”

  “Oh, no. We clear away together.” Cait followed, her arms wrapping around Harper’s waist from behind as she reached the sink. “And for the record…I’d love to still be here in the morning, too.”

  “Maybe one day, yeah?”

  Cait’s lips pressed against the dip of Harper’s neck, her arms tightening. Harper knew this woman would have a soft touch. Not too gentle, just perfect. But the more Cait trailed her lips down Harper’s skin, the more Harper lost her mind. “No. Tonight.”

  “What?” Was Cait saying what Harper thought she was?

  “I’ll stay the night. Tonight.”

  Harper’s entire body lit up with desire. A desire she’d never felt with Callie. She turned in Cait’s arms, studying her eyes. There wasn’t a hint of dishonesty. “You’re serious?”