I Never Planned on You

by Stefanie Jenkins

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  I Never Planned On You

  Copyright © 2019 by Stefanie Jenkins

  Editing by One Love Editing

  Proofread by Angel Nyx at Horus Proofreading

  Cover Design by Net Hook & Line Design

  Interior Book Formatting by Clara Stone at Reader Central

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review.

  Independently published.

  To those that have carried us through the darkness to find the light.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  "You will survive and you will find purpose in the chaos. Moving on doesn't mean letting go." — Mary VanHaute

  I t had been a blast skating around the rink with my friends, though my feet were killing me, so I decided to sit on the sidelines for a quick breather. A slow song came over the speaker, “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” by the Backstreet Boys. I watched the skaters pair up to skate to the song. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I felt a chill come up my spine as Emmett, my older brother’s best friend, took the place next to me.

  “You didn’t want to skate with anyone on your birthday?”

  “I needed a break.” I shrugged, never taking my eyes off the skaters. “That, and umm…no one asked me.”

  Emmett tilted my chin to his face with his forefinger and thumb and looked at me in a way he never had before, or maybe I just hadn’t noticed. It was strangely comforting. “Danielle Kathryn Jacobs, will you skate with me?”

  I felt the breath rush out of my lungs as I tried to find the words to answer him. A simple yes, and I couldn’t even find that. My brain wasn’t working, so all I could do was nod. Did Emmett really just ask me to skate? Maybe he just felt sorry for me. He reached his hand out in front of me and threaded his fingers with mine as he escorted me from the wall to the ice.

  As the song continued to play, we skated around the rink. His hand remained in mine, and the smile never left his face. When the song came to an end and his hand hadn’t moved from mine, I looked at him nervously and began to pull away from him. “Well, thanks for the skate. I’m sure there were plenty of other girls to skate with than me, so I appreciate you humoring the birthday girl so ugh…I didn’t look super pathetic.”

  As I went to turn to skate in the other direction, he tightened his grip on my hand. “Woah, Dani, I didn’t ask you to skate because I felt sorry for you. I asked you to skate with me because I wanted to. If I wanted to skate with someone else I would have, but I only wanted to skate with you. I just wanted you. Don’t you see that?”

  I could feel my cheeks instantly flush. “I…I…” Again I couldn’t find the words to say anything, so I just kept looking into those baby blues. I’d had a crush on Emmett since before I even knew what crushes were, but could he, in fact, have a crush back? People continued to skate around us, but all I saw was him. “I don’t understand. Really?” I asked him when I finally found the words.

  He inched even closer to me and brushed a stray piece of hair that had fallen out of my beanie, behind my ears. “Yes, you really didn’t know?” he asked with a confused look.

  I shook my head.

  “I thought it was pretty obvious, but if you don’t like me like that, then I get it. I’m just your brother’s best friend—or your best friend’s brother.” Emmett took his bottom lip between his teeth; he wasn’t the usual confident Emmett I had always known. It was my turn to surprise him.

  My own confused look turned to a smile as I took my other hand to his cheek. “Em, you have never been just my brother’s best friend or best friend’s brother.”

  He covered my hand with his own as his dimple appeared with his wide grin. God, I loved that dimple. I had tried for years to do things to always make him smile so it would appear. “Good, because I wanted to know if…”

  He looked down at his feet nervously.

  “If what, Em?”

  His baby blues met mine again. “If you would be my girlfriend.”

  My eyes grew big. Oh my God! Pinch me. I quickly felt a pinch and realized that I had actually said that aloud. I began to flush again but then giggled. “I didn’t mean to say that aloud.”

  Forgetting we were in the middle of the ice rink, we were quickly brought back to reality when we heard my brother, Zach, skate up to us. “Will you just give him an answer already? Mom said we had to wait for you to get off the ice to eat cake!”

  I quickly turned to my brother and gave him the death stare. “If you would leave, dummy, then yes, I would.” I turned back to Emmett as Zach skated off, rolling his eyes at us and flipping me the finger.

  With both of my hands now in Emmett’s, I smiled at him and nodded. “Yes, Emmett Adam Hanks, I would love to be your girlfriend, although, I don’t really know what that means. I think this may have just become the best birthday ever.”

  There it was—that dimple again. There was something in the way he was looking at me, as if I had just made him the happiest boy on the planet, maybe even the galaxy. That look ignited something in me that I didn’t know what it was just yet, but I couldn’t wait to find out.

  “Well, for starters, I get to do this.” He put his hand behind my neck, pulled me closer to him, and kissed me gently on the lips.

  “Wow! Yep, this is definitely the best birthday ever,” I managed to say as we broke apart. His grin went all the way to his eyes.

  “Yeah, no kidding. I never thought my first kiss would be that…perfect.”

  Wait, did he just say that I was his first kiss? I had dreamed of my first kiss for like, forever, and I had hoped one day it would be with Emmett Hanks, but I figured that was about as likely as getting kissed by Justin Timberlake. Hey, can’t a girl dream? But, he just admitted that I was his first kiss too.

  Emmett looked up and began laughing. As I turned to see what was so funny, I saw my brother making kissy faces at us just before he lost his footing on his skates and fell on the ice. That made me laugh hard.

  Emmett turned to me as he began to take the lead, skating me toward the exit. “Well, I guess we better get over there so you can make a birthday wish and he can feel better by shoving cake in his mouth.”

  As everyone sang Happy Birthday to me,
I tried to imagine a wish that was better than the reality that happened today. Emmett Hanks had asked me to be his girlfriend. Was I sure I wasn’t dreaming? Emmett leaned in to my ear and whispered, “Make a wish, beautiful.”

  I looked over at him, smiled, and knew my wish was that we could have our happily ever after just like Cinderella and her Prince Charming. Closing my eyes, I made my wish and blew out my candle.

  Emmett and I sit on the swing on my parents’ front porch with my feet in his lap, rocking back and forth. End of summer in Maryland is my favorite time of year. Yes, the weather can sometimes be temperamental, perfect one day, like today, the next super hot. But the leaves are getting ready to change, and there is a smell in the air that lets me know fall is just around the corner.

  There is a light breeze passing by as Em runs his fingers over the dolphin anklet he gave me for my thirteenth birthday. It has a turquoise gemstone, my birthstone, in the center of the dolphin. It was that birthday that Emmett had given me my first kiss and changed my world.

  I find myself lost in the memory of that day—the way my hand fit in his, the way his lips brushed against mine, and the look on his face as I opened his present. I’d started to cry because it was so beautiful, and knowing he had bought that prior to even asking me to be his girlfriend and admitting his feelings made my heart swell with emotion.

  “Hey, beautiful, where were you just now?” Emmett runs his thumb over my anklet again and smiles at me. I’m not sure if the goosebumps covering my body are from his touch or from the breeze.

  “I was just remembering when you gave me that anklet. That was the best day of my life.”

  Em leans over to me just inches from my mouth and whispers, “Oh really? I thought the first time we…” He waggles his eyebrows at me. “…was the best night of your life.”

  My cheeks heat at the thought of our first time together. Of course, my mind then goes to thinking of the last time we were together too. I love that after all this time, he can still make me blush.

  I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, that was all right,” I whisper back at him while closing the distance and placing a sweet kiss on his lips. Well, what started out as sweet soon turns passionate. I will never tire of Emmett Hanks’ kisses. I want to spend the rest of my life getting those kisses.

  Pulling back breathless, Emmett laces his fingers with mine. “I’m gonna miss those.”

  Emmett and Zach are headed off to college at the University of Pennsylvania. Our parents had gotten them a two-bedroom apartment outside of campus. I still have to finish my senior year of high school, and then I’ll join them. Zach and I are what are called Irish twins, born within the same year. People often confuse us for regular twins since we turn the same age each year, but people never understood why we were in different grades. I don’t think my parents planned to get pregnant with me so soon, but, hey, if you’re going to have sex, you might as well be prepared for anything, right?

  It’s only a two-hour drive from Annapolis to Philadelphia, so Emmett and I can easily make the drive to each other, but I hate the thought that I’ll have to go days without being with him.

  Fighting back my tears, I cup his cheeks. “There will be no shortage of those, Em, not now, not ever. I will just have to save them up in a jar, and every time we see each other, we can open the jar and make up for lost time.” I kiss his cheek on each side, then his forehead before placing my lips against his. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold back my tears, because I’ll miss those kisses too. I just want to be strong and not show how much his leaving is breaking my heart.

  “I love you, Cupcake. Forever and always,” he breathes as his lips touch mine.

  He started calling me Cupcake when we discovered how good of a baker I am. If it wasn’t for lacrosse and the gym, I think Emmett and Zach would weigh five hundred pounds because they’re always eating the sweet treats I bake.

  Our kiss is quickly interrupted by a throat clearing. We both turn toward the noise to see Zach walking out onto the porch, carrying the last two duffle bags.

  “You about ready, man? I think you’ve had enough time sucking face with my sister,” he says while making a gagging face.

  I stick my tongue out at him.

  “I’ll never have enough time for that. You’re just jealous after Melissa broke up with your sorry ass,” Emmett responds. Rising from the porch swing, Em grabs my hand and pulls me up, then walks down the steps toward his Jeep.

  “Nope, not even in the slightest, dude. I’m single and ready to mingle with all those college girls away from their families and ready to throw themselves at anything with a dick. And I just so happen to have a dick ready and waiting for them.”

  I roll my eyes at my brother. “Real classy, Jacobs,” I mutter under my breath. Emmett laughs while Zach pulls me into a hug.

  “You might not want to admit it, but you’re going to miss me, sis.”

  He’s right—I will miss him terribly. I wrap my arms around him and squeeze tightly, tucking my face into his chest. This is becoming too real. They’re leaving me. We’d agreed we would say our goodbyes here instead of at the apartment in Philly. We were there just last weekend setting most of it up. All they have left is the rest of their clothes.

  “I’ll take good care of him, Dani, I promise,” Zach whispers in my ear before kissing my forehead.

  “All right, let my girl go so I can get in there or we’re never gonna hit the road,” Emmett interrupts, tugging on my hand to pull me away from my brother and back into his arms.

  Waving him off, Zach finishes loading the bags in the back of Emmett’s Jeep. Zach’s Jeep was left at the apartment when we drove back the other day. I can feel the tears starting to fall as Emmett pulls me to his chest. This is harder than I thought it would be.

  He cups my cheeks with his hands, and his thumb brushes away my runaway tears. “No tears, Cupcake. I’ll see you next weekend when you come visit. Okay? We got this. You are going to kick ass during your senior year, and then this time next year, you will be coming with me. Zach will have to find a new place to live, because I don’t think he wants to be living with us when we have free rein to have sex anywhere, at any time.”

  A giggle bursts through my tears as I remember the one time we thought we were home alone and Zach walked in on us on the couch. He was absolutely mortified and couldn’t look me or Emmett in the eye for a week.

  Wanting to avoid him seeing my tears, I turn my head and look at the ground.

  “Look at me, baby girl.” So I do. “We can get through this. Having you as my girl for the past four years has been the greatest gift ever. We’re not going to let these silly two hours tear us down. It’s only preparing us for forever.”

  The tears falling down my cheeks go from sad to happy, but the smile on Emmett’s face turns to a frown when I start to shake my head. Smiling back at him, I put my forehead against his and whisper, “See, that’s where you’re wrong. I haven’t been your girl for four years…I’ve been yours my whole life.”

  Emmett lets out a breath and kisses me as if I’m his air. Holding on to him tighter, I can hear footsteps approach, belonging to our parents and Haylee, Emmett’s younger sister and my best friend. Reluctantly pulling away from him, I know it’s time for them to leave. There are hugs, kisses, and tears by all, and I walk with Emmett to the driver’s side with his hand still in mine.

  “I love you, Emmett Adam Hanks,” I profess, wiping the last of my tears away.

  “Good, I was hoping you did,” Em jokes. “Forever and always, Danielle Kathryn Jacobs.”

  After one last kiss and hug, Emmett hops into the Jeep and gives me his famous wink once he closes the door, mouthing “I love you” as he starts it up.

  Haylee wraps her arms around me in a big bear hug as they drive off. “We’ve got this! They won’t be too far away, and plus, you and my brother are grossly cute and have the rest of your lives to make us want to gag with your cuteness. Now, what do you say we head inside an
d binge scary movies and eat our weight in junk food.”

  I laugh at her and turn around once the Jeep is out of sight. “Why, Hails, I thought you’d never ask.”

  M y first day of senior year is strange without my brother and Emmett. I’ve never attended high school without them. At least Haylee will be there with me. And, of course, Emmett is with me even if he isn’t physically here. I’ll miss sneaking kisses at my locker and Emmett taking fries off my tray after he finishes his entire lunch but before I could eat half of mine. I’m thankful that soon enough we’ll be back together.

  As I pull up in front of Haylee’s house to pick her up, I can’t help but smile thinking of our conversation this morning.

  EMMETT: Happy first day of school, baby! Kick ass.

  ME: You know what I did this morning while thinking of you?

  EMMETT: Whoa, baby, is it the same thing I did?

  ME: Perv. I watched the sunrise and remembered sitting out here with you last year.

  EMMETT: Yep, that’s exactly what I did too. Not anything else – God I love your dirty mind though.

  ME: And for the record, I did that too.

  EMMETT: And you’re now just telling me?! What a tease!!

  ME: Need to get ready and then pick up Hails.

  EMMETT: Love you, Cupcake! xo

  ME: Forever and always. XOXO

  ONE YEAR EARLIER…

  Emmett and Haylee had spent the night at our place before the first day of school. It was the boys’ first day of senior year and Haylee’s and my junior year. I woke up that morning to Emmett leaning down next to my side of the bed, rubbing my cheek with the back of his hand. “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered, kissing my forehead.

  As I slowly woke, realizing this wasn’t a dream, he put his forefinger to his lips to tell me to be quiet before pointing over to his sleeping sister. “Shhh, I want to take you somewhere.”

  Climbing out of bed, I grabbed a hoodie off the chair and took his hand in mine. Emmett led me downstairs quietly to the front door.

  “Where are we going, crazy? We have to get ready for school,” I tried to protest.