I Never Planned on You

by Stefanie Jenkins

  “No, apparently you also think my taste in movies is shit.” That earns me an eye roll just before Dani tries to slip from my grasp. Oh no she doesn’t. I quickly pull her back into me and take a seat on the bed with Dani straddling me, her thighs on the outside of mine. One hand is placed on her hip and the other firmly under her chin so she sees me loud and clear, and I say what I need to say. “And that you love me.” I bring my mouth to hers, knowing she can feel my smile on her lips, then break our kiss. “Which is good because I love you too.”

  I stare at her for a moment, not saying anything, letting ourselves get lost in the moment before I crash my lips against hers again. This time I kiss with such passion, as if she were the air I breathed, which let’s face it, she is. I pull on her bottom lip, earning a very sexy moan from her mouth. I’m lost in her kiss, the way her lips mold to mine, her fingers playing with the hair along my neckline as she grinds her hips against my growing erection. I release her lips only long enough to pull her shirt over her head. I can’t get my hands on her fast enough. I kiss her jaw and down her neck as I reach around and unhook her bra, releasing her perfect breasts. They were made for my hands. As my fingers brush across her taut nipples, Dani releases a small moan, and I know I am going to make love to my girl all night long, but if I don’t get inside her now, I might blow my load right here.

  Before I can move my hands to unbutton her jeans, the bedroom door flies open. “You guys wanna go out or order piz…fuck! Not again,” Zach yells before slamming the door shut. He then yells from the other side of the door, “Seriously, Dani, haven’t you ever heard of a fucking door lock?”

  Looking at Dani, I see she has tears filling her eyes, but this time they’re tears of joy and laughter.

  In between her fit of giggles, she yells back, “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking first?”

  “I told you to knock first. Maybe you should listen to me more often,” Haylee adds from the other side of the door in between her laughter.

  We continue to hear him groan and curse as he stomps away. Our laughter is out of control now, and I end up falling back on the bed, taking Dani back with me, still wrapped in my arms. I push the hair off her face.

  “Wait, if you envisioned your happily ever after, why did you freak out? What am I missing here?”

  “Don’t you see, Kyler, when I thought of my happily ever after, it wasn’t Emmett I saw down on one knee. It was you.”

  I roll her over onto her back and settle between her legs.

  “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too. Now how ‘bout you show me how much.”

  “WELL, THAT HAS TO BE A RECORD.”

  Naked, sweaty and absolutely beautiful with her hair strewn across the pillow, Dani pinches my side and I flinch. “You are so full of yourself.”

  I snicker. “Actually, babe, you are full of me.”

  She groans and buries her face into the pillow.

  “Come on. My jokes aren’t that bad.”

  Lifting her head, she raises her eyebrows at me. I smirk holding my hands up in innocence. “Okay, okay, maybe they are.”

  I reach for her and pull her into my arms, right where I want her to be always. A few minutes of silence passes before I speak. “Move in with me.”

  “You do realize I live here, right?”

  My palm grazes her cheek. “No, I mean move in to my room. You already spend every night in there. We can move all your stuff officially in there tomorrow.”

  “We’re really doing this?”

  I roll over to my side, and Dani matches my position opposite of me. “Dani, I want this, all of this, with you. I love you. What do you say?”

  “Yes.”

  K yler spent the whole night showing me how much he loved me. We passed out somewhere around 3:00 a.m. How it is I am awake this early, I’m not sure—guess my body doesn’t care what my night entailed, just that it needs caffeine. Encased in Kyler’s arms, I have to be quiet as to not wake him. I quietly slide out from under his arm, causing him to make a tiny groaning noise. I lean back on the bed and press a kiss to his cheek. “Stay asleep, baby.”

  He groans back before rolling over onto his other side. I grab his T-shirt off the floor and slip into a pair of shorts from my dresser. I slowly open the bedroom door, turning around and smiling at a sleeping Kyler before quietly closing the door. I’m not sure if anyone else is awake in the house, so I creep toward the kitchen but am quickly hit with the smell of coffee as I approach the living room, so someone must be awake.

  “Good morning,” I hear my brother say before I see him. His voice startles me, causing me to jump.

  “I’m sorry, was I not loud enough for you?” He raises his eyebrows at me, clearly a dig at the volume of Kyler’s and my lovemaking last night. Oops. I give that sly Jacobs smile, pleading the fifth. I walk over to the cabinet reaching for my favorite mug before pouring the delicious liquid into my cup. I reach into the refrigerator and grab the container of almond milk to pour into the coffee. Bringing the mug up to my nose, I inhale the yummy smell and can feel it already seeping into my veins.

  My brother laughs from where he is sitting, diverting my attention back to him.

  “What?”

  He shakes his head. “Did Kyler fuck your brains out to the point that you forgot you drink coffee and not sniff it?”

  Rolling my eyes at him and holding back a laugh, I take a seat next to him. “Oh, dear brother, maybe I should tell Haylee to reconsider the thought of marrying you.” I can’t help but laugh before I finish my statement. “And you’re gross,” I say, sticking my tongue out at him. He pushes my arm. Thankful for my quick reflexes, I catch the mug before any coffee spills.

  “Hey, don’t waste perfectly good coffee, asshole.”

  We both sit in silence, enjoying the morning caffeine. It has been a long few days. “So, Zach, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I haven’t even told you congratulations, big brother.”

  I get up and wrap my arms around his shoulders from behind and give him a big bear hug before sitting back down on my stool.

  “I can’t believe you’re getting married. Holy shit, both of you! I don’t think I can apologize enough for ruining your moment yesterday.”

  Shaking my head in embarrassment, I avoid his gaze. How was that only yesterday? Less than twenty-four hours ago, I witnessed my brother get on one knee in front of my best friend and confess his undying love for her and promise her forever. Damn, who knew he was such a romantic?

  Zach nods. “I spoke with Haylee last night and she explained. I’m sorry, too, that you felt that way, but I need you to always be open and honest about things before they blow up. I need you to talk to us—that is the only way we’re going to get through this and move forward,” he pleads with me, and I agree. “Speaking of moving forward, so you and Kyler said the L word, huh?”

  I smile, recalling how good it actually felt to tell him that I loved him. I didn’t think there was a better feeling, that is until he said it back. I gather the strength to ask the question I had never thought to ask him before. “Are you okay with this?”

  Zach looks at me almost as if he’s looking through me, but I speak again before he can answer. “I mean, I feel like it’s happening all over again, me falling in love with your best friend. I don’t want to take anyone from you.”

  My eyes begin to fill, but I don’t allow them to spill over. Zach puts his coffee mug down on the island and pulls me into his arms. Thankfully he is wearing gym shorts and a T-shirt instead of boxers which is what I sometimes find him in when I come into the kitchen early in the morning.

  “Dani…I just want you to be happy. You deserve the world, a man worthy of your greatness, and nothing but happiness. The fact that you chose that in not just one of my best friends but both, as weird as that sounds, means I kick ass at picking best friends because only the best will do for my little sister.”

  He kisses my forehead and grins at me. “You have been dealt a super sh
itty hand these past few years, and I finally see my sister. Kyler brought you back to me, to all of us, and if you want to be with him, I will support you 100 percent, but Jesus Christ, Dani, please use the door locks—they were invented for a reason.”

  And there it is, the heartfelt moment gone. Typical Zach ruining a good moment. I push off him and take a seat back on my stool.

  T he last year and a half has been amazing. Time with Dani is something I never take for granted, or plan to. Her love is a gift that I am forever grateful for. Dani and I ended up moving out of the house and had gotten a place of our own just down the street.

  I know what I want to do next, but I need to talk to three people. Last week I took her dad to dinner and Zach out for drinks, leaving our women at home, and the third person is what brought me here. There is one last person I need to ask permission. I turn the key, shutting the ignition off to my truck. My phone buzzes in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see her name on the screen with a photo I took of her one night while she was in the kitchen baking. I felt bad lying to her earlier, saying that I was going to be in meetings all day, but I didn’t want her to know that I had taken the day off and traveled down here to have this conversation.

  “Hey, baby!”

  “Hey, how’s your day been? Are you still in meetings? I didn’t think you were gonna answer.”

  “No, I’m just leaving one, headed to another. Should be home in about three hours.”

  “Oh okay, well, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight to eat or stay in?”

  “Can we stay in and…I eat you out?” I know she is on the other end of the line blushing and possibly squirming around in her chair thinking about that. Man, how fucked-up am I having this type of conversation here of all places? I think I’m definitely going to hell. “Baby, you still there?”

  “Oh yeah, sorry… I was…”

  I interrupt her. “Thinking about me and all the things I’m gonna do to you tonight?”

  “Maybe.” Yep, I totally called it.

  I smile knowing this girl has me wrapped around her finger.

  “Well, babe, I gotta go. I’ll see you later tonight.”

  “Okay, I’ll make veggie lasagna. Haylee said all this wedding stress was making her crave carbs.”

  “Can’t wait, that’s my favorite. I love you.”

  “Love you too!”

  Once Dani and I hang up the phone, I place my phone on the dashboard and get out of my truck. Here goes nothing. I approach the headstone and stoop down to remove the wilted flowers from the vase.

  “Hey, Emmett. I’m Kyler.”

  I had come with Danielle, Zach, Haylee, and their families here on the five-year anniversary of his death, but I stood to the side to give them space. Dani had said some words and then stood next to me, never letting go of my hand. I felt it was important, though, to have a man-to-man talk and introduce myself. He was just as important in her life as her father and brother.

  Running my hand over the stubble on my jaw, I try to remember the speech I had planned on the two-hour drive here from the city, but all words seem to have left my mind, so I guess I’m winging it.

  “Well, seems like we have the same taste in best friends but also women.” Realizing this is a little awkward standing here talking, I decide to take a seat on the ground. “I’ll cut to the point, I guess. I want to marry her. I mean, I don’t guess I want to marry her, I know I want to marry her. I know that if you were still here, you would have married her. I hope that I meet your standards; our girl deserves the best. Your sister helped me picked out a gorgeous ring for Dani.” I pull the small box out of my pocket and open it and stare at its beauty. Every morning I grab it out of the nightstand drawer and take it with me to work where I usually lock it up in my desk. I’ve been worried that Dani would find it if I hid it anywhere around the house, so I just always keep it with me.

  “I really hope she loves it. I love her, man. I want to make her happy. I hope I do. She’s amazing…not sure why I’m telling you that since you know that. I can’t thank you enough for loving her and turning her into the woman she is.”

  I pause and compose the rest of my thoughts. “I just want you to know that I’m going to take care of her, be there for her, love her, make her laugh and smile for the rest of my life. I don’t know how she went so long without showing the world that smile because it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen as I’m sure you know.” I go to get up and wipe the grass from my pants. “I’m gonna do right by her, and I hope you continue looking out for all of them.”

  I look up to the sky, not really sure how to end this conversation. “Well, I’ll see ya round, man.” I press my hands against the gravestone as if I were squeezing Emmett’s shoulder and head back to my car.

  As I climb in the truck, I feel good and ready to take this next step with Dani. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to this point with anyone, but honestly, since the day I met her, that all changed.

  Now all I have to do is ask her. My mother’s favorite phrase of “All you gotta do is” rings through my mind.

  I start the ignition and turn the radio on. I go to change the station as a familiar tune rings through the speakers, and I instantly focus on the radio when I hear Heartland’s “I Loved Her First” playing. Not exactly what I was expecting on this station. Dani once said that she believed that Emmett would talk to her through music. She would turn her iPod on shuffle and wait for him to talk to her through the music or would sit in her car and talk to him, and when she would turn the radio on, it would be a song that she swore was him reaching out to her. I don’t know if it’s some sign from somewhere else or just a coincidence, but it makes me smile, and I’d like to think that’s Emmett’s way of approving. While I know this song is about a father and daughter, I sit and listen to the lyrics, and it’s true, Emmett did love her first and loved her for all his life. The lyrics are so powerful and the message I want to believe was behind it, I can’t help but let the tears welling up in my eyes spill over. I sit there listening to the entire song, and as it ends, I wipe my eyes and know it’s time to go get our forever.

  I make my way out of the cemetery and head back home to my girl.

  I shake my coat off and place it on the back of the chair. “How come we aren’t at our regular table tonight and stuck up front by the stage?”

  Looking at Haylee, Zach takes a sip of his drink. “Oh, well, we were running late, and the table was already occupied.”

  “Oh.” I take a seat. Looking around, I ask, “Where’s Kyler? I thought he was meeting us here?” I pull out my phone and reread his text from earlier.

  KY: Running behind at work, I’ll meet you at the bar. Love you!

  The spotlight on the stage appears as the waitress approaches the table with my margarita. Scott takes the microphone, and everyone cheers, myself included.

  He waves his hands in the air to quiet the crowd down. “All right, all right, everyone. Tonight we are doing something a little different—our favorite dynamic duo is flying solo. Let’s everyone give Kyler a warm welcome and see if he is actually any good without his partner in crime. Thank God this is just one night and one night only.”

  He steps aside and claps his hands together. Kyler appears on the stage. He looks so handsome with his dark jeans and fitted black button-up shirt rolled up on his forearms. He must have changed at the office because he didn’t stop at home to change his clothes, and after our fun morning together, I watched him dress in a navy suit and white dress shirt. He looked so hot that I wanted to just rip it right off him and throw him back on the bed for round two. I can feel my cheeks heating up just thinking about this morning’s wake-up call.

  “Tonight, I’d like to dedicate this song to my girl, Dani. I love you. Here it goes.”

  Kyler doesn’t have his usual confident face on right now. As the music begins, he actually looks a little nervous. Once he spots me, though, that confident smile begins to appear. The song name appears on the s
creen, “Danny’s Song” by Loggins and Messina. The irony is not lost on the play of the name—that’s cute, but I am not too familiar with this one. He begins singing as if I’m the only girl in the entire room. I can feel my eyes start to fill up as I listen to him sing the lyrics. He is putting his heart out for all to see right now, and I’m still trying to figure out what I did to deserve this man’s love.

  These lyrics are so sweet, although the more I listen, I’m pretty sure it’s really a song about a man soon becoming a father. So just to make sure no one gets the wrong idea, I keep taking sips of my delicious margarita that is full of tequila. The more he sings, the more I see the confidence start to wane and the nerves kick back in. I don’t know why he’s so nervous since his song is almost over. Is it just nerves because he had to be on stage without Zach? When the song ends, everyone applauds, including Haylee, who gives one of those ear-numbing whistles. Rubbing my ear, feeling as though I can’t hear now, I can’t help but give a “Woo!”

  Instead of leaving the stage, he stands there for a moment. He then takes the microphone off the stand and heads toward our table, right in front of me specifically. He takes both of my hands in his, a smile across his face and his eyes full of love.

  “Dani, I have possibly been in love with you from the moment I met you—or at least since the first time I tasted your cupcakes.”

  I chuckle, remembering he confessed his undying love to it.

  “When you walked into my life, I didn’t realize that something was actually missing. Even though you claim that I saved you and put you back together, I know that it was really you. You saved me by showing me what it meant to really love someone and to be loved by someone. Maybe in a way we saved each other. You bring out the best in me and I in you. You are the light in my darkness. Life is never going to be easy as we both know that from the journeys that brought us here, but with you, I feel as though I can face anything and everything that is thrown at me. I love you so much. I know you hate my jokes and my apparent bad taste in movies, but I want to spend the rest of my life proving to you that Office Space is, in fact, a funny movie.”