Jade's Song (South of the Border Book 2)

by Sabrina Devonshire

  I grind my teeth together. He didn’t mean anything by it? He didn’t read the suffering or the simmering anger on our faces? Is this man who calls himself my father a complete idiot? “We have nothing to discuss.”

  “Maybe I just want to be part of your life again.”

  “You must be joking. You said you loved me. Then you left. I was only a kid. But I didn’t get to be one for long. I had to help mom. She needed me. I was there when you weren’t.”

  My father shuffles his feet nervously. “I admit I made some mistakes. But you can forgive me, right?”

  “No, I can’t. I still don’t understand why you’re here. You say you don’t want my money. Then what is it you want?”

  “I think we can help each other.”

  Here it comes. He’s finally going to spill what he wants, which has nothing to do with a relationship with me. “How’s that?”

  “I’m launching a new online business. With you behind it, it will succeed for sure.”

  He can’t be serious? “I don’t get it.”

  “It’s simple, really. We let the past go. Move forward. And you talk me up to the media whenever you can.”

  Anger burns like an out of control bonfire in my gut. I’ve never hated anyone more in my life. I lean in closer. “I won’t do it.”

  His lips twist into a sneer. “I think you will.”

  I grab him by the collar and jerk hard. “And I’m telling you I won’t.”

  He tries unsuccessfully to push me away. “If you don’t give me what I want, I’ll destroy you. Your career, your relationship with that slut, Jade. You already set the stage for a fall tonight after you saw me. Your whole performance fell apart.”

  A sarcastic laugh escapes my lips. “You obviously didn’t think this through very well, did you? Trashing me to reporters before you got what you wanted. But I would never help you—even if you hadn’t already made that mistake.”

  He looks momentarily confused and then I see an up-to-no-good flash in his eyes. “I’m sure we can pay them off.”

  Like a flame doused with gasoline, I explode. I shove him across the room. When he stumbles to the ground, I lunge toward him. “I’m going to fucking kill you if you don’t get out of here this minute.” I lift him by the collar and retract my fist.

  The sneer hasn’t left his face, but the tremor in his jaw shows fear. “Are you sure you want me to leave here bleeding?”

  He’s got me there. I drop him into a crumpled heap onto the floor. “Do whatever you have to do because I will never say that you are part of my life. Never. I don’t even imagine you even recognized Lorenzo on stage.”

  I swing away and storm toward the door. What if he really does destroy me? What if I lose my career? I’ll have let Lorenzo and the other guys in my band down. What if I lose Jade? The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. My shoulders sag in despair. But I can’t let my father manipulate me. My mother taught me to stand up for what is right. If I had allowed my father to draw me into his schemes, I would have become a different man. There would have been nothing left of me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Jade

  The three reporters rush me the instant I step outside. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I need time to think. I’m confused. An hour ago, when Luca performed Jade’s song, a thrill raced through me. I was sure we’d be together forever. Now I’m drowning in doubt. His father’s here. And he says Luca’s been lying. I don’t think that’s true, but how do I know for sure? I thought I could trust Brandon—right up to the minute he humiliated me in front of everyone at the restaurant.

  But Luca has proved he cares for me. He’s been kind and compassionate and real. And I love him. But there’s no future for us as awful as it is to imagine being without him. Even though Luca wants me in his life now, he won’t once the media expose all my vulnerabilities and pick me to pieces. I won’t be able to flash stunning smiles and toss out witty lines like everyone would expect the woman in a famous man’s life to do. I don’t feel that confident yet. Maybe I never will. And it’s not fair for me to prolong our relationship under those circumstances. Luca might feel obligated to stay with me even if I drag him down. Tonight was disastrous enough for him. I want Luca to get through this media frenzy that will undoubtedly follow. Having me in news interviews would only make things worse.

  I feel so alone right now. I don’t want to be here, in Vienna, thousands of miles from home. I want to be back in my seaside condo in San Carlos where I feel safe. I want to take my daily swims and get back to my quiet life where no one notices me. And where no one can ever hurt me again.

  “Is that man really Luca’s father?” a woman asks.

  I hear ringing in my ears. My hands are clammy. I feel desperate to run. “I have no comment,” I say as I walk past them.

  “How long have you been Luca’s girlfriend?” a woman asks.

  I don’t answer, but the reporters keep following me.

  A bald male reporter steps in front of me. “Luca’s never written a song for any woman he’s been with before. He must be serious about you. He’s usually with a different girl on every tour.” He says it like he knows this for sure. I suppose Luca’s his beat.

  The other reporters close in. I feel claustrophobic and panicked. Completely insane, actually. I rub my hands together and hope they won’t hear the tremor in my voice. I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t get out of here. “Was there a question in there someplace? Look, I have nothing more to say.”

  The bald man bumps against my shoulder. “What are your plans for the future?”

  Drops of sweat bead up on my forehead. My body starts to shake. I can’t talk to them anymore. Not for an instant longer. “I said I have nothing else to say. Please, leave me alone.” But they don’t leave. Now the subtle shaking in my body has turned violent. My jaw aches from clenching my teeth. I’ve never liked crowds. And I definitely don’t like being surrounded by strange people who keep asking me questions I’m not prepared to answer.

  My panic just proves that I’m not the right woman for Luca. If I were, I’d be able to handle myself better. I’d calmly answer all their questions. I wouldn’t let their pushiness unravel me. But I’m not calm. Every minute talking to these reporters is ripping me apart. I don’t like it. Maybe on a different day, I could handle this better. But not today. I feel short of breath. I need air. I have to escape. Now.

  I shove the bald man away. He knocks over two other reporters like he was a bowling ball and they were pins. And then I run. Away from all of them. I run across the stage, jump down into the auditorium and race to the back of the room. When I exit the building, I barely notice the honk of horns and the screech of brakes as I dash across the street. I don’t stop. I don’t respond to the angry voices. I keep on running.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Luca

  I chug the coconut water and grab my jacket off the chair in the dressing room. I leave the room to find the backstage area empty. My father is gone. Gracias a Dios for that. I rush out the door to the stage looking for Jade. My gaze sweeps the room. The wooden floors are bare. The stage crew has removed all of our equipment and already swept the floors. The auditorium seats are empty. It’s as if tonight’s concert never happened.

  “Jade, are you here?” My voice echoes in the high-ceilinged auditorium. There’s no answer. I walk to the front of the stage and jump down to the floor. I walk briskly up the aisle and look around the auditorium. A text message pops up on my phone. I eagerly pull it out of my pocket, hoping it’s from Jade. But it’s Lorenzo. He wants to know what’s holding me up. He and the guys are waiting in the limo. I call him back and ask if he’s seen Jade. He says he hasn’t. He says he heard about all the drama with our dad showing up and that they had to drive around the block twice already to shake off pursuing reporters. I tell him they can go ahead and leave for the hotel. I have to find Jade, I tell him. My brother asks if I want help with the search. I tell him no, but I ask him to check t
o see if she’s returned to the hotel.

  After I conclude the call, I try Jade’s cell phone. It goes straight to voice mail. I contact the hotel and ask to be connected to our room. There’s no answer there either. I leave the concert hall and walk out on the street. A misty rain is falling. I look right and left, hoping I’ll see Jade standing by a light pole or glancing into a shop window. The streets of Vienna are well lit, the streets clogged with traffic. People walk past me, oblivious to my distress. At least no one recognizes me. A bus pulls up to a stop in front of me. Several people disembark. I’m surrounded by faces. But I don’t see the one face I want to see. I don’t see Jade. Maybe she’s given up on me after all. I don’t blame her. It’s true there were affairs. But they meant nothing to me. They satisfied a physical need but left me emotionally empty. Ever since I met Jade, my heart has belonged to her. I love her so much. I love her too much to lose her now. I’m going to fight for what we have. I’m going to fight to prove I’m the right man for her and that we’re meant to be together.

  I walk down the street looking for her, fighting off my feelings of panic. Where is she? Worried thoughts nag at my belly. Is she alone in the night somewhere? What if she’s lost? Or someone grabbed her purse? She could be in danger. If only I knew where she was. Even if we’re no longer a couple, I have to make sure she’s safe. The rain falls harder until I can hear it pelting the street and the nearby rooftops. I have no umbrella and my light jacket isn’t meant for the rain.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket. I grab it and see it’s a text from Jade. Dios mío. Where she is? Did she somehow know I was worrying about her? I blink through the water dripping from my eyelashes, desperate to see what her message says.

  I’m sorry about tonight. I know it was awful for you. I’m sorry I ran away. I wanted to be there for you, but I just couldn’t. I’m on my way to the airport. I have to get out of here. I can’t face any more reporters. I’d only make things worse for you. I wish I could be stronger—for you and for me—but I’m not meant for this kind of life. You need a stronger woman, someone who can talk to the press without having a nervous breakdown. I enjoyed our time together, Luca, more than you will ever know. I’ll be okay. And I hope you will be, too.

  The message ends with a heart icon. My heart feels like it’s been ripped from my chest. It’s over. How could this have happened? If only I’d been able to keep her from leaving that room. Then at least I would have had a chance to talk to her before she left. I never expected her to have to talk to reporters all the time. I could have arranged for a private bodyguard so she would have been sheltered from most of the media attention. But she never gave me a chance. I’ve done everything possible to prove to her I care, but I can’t make this work if she’s not even willing to give us a chance.

  Despair threatens to pull me under. I’ve always felt like I had a measure of control over my life, like I could do something to right whatever was wrong. I felt that way even after my father abandoned us. I was young and strong and passionate. I loved my family so much, and I was determined to help them. Now I feel like I’m being pushed down a swift moving stream. About to tumble over the edge of a waterfall.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Jade

  The taxi driver turns off at the exit to the airport. I just sent Luca a text message. I feel like a knife just sliced open my heart. It hurts even worse to think about how what I’ve done is affecting him. He’s had such a horrible night already, and I’m sure my message is making it much worse. I can only hope in a few months both of our wounds will start to heal. We’ll look back and realize that this relationship never could have worked. And we’ll always have memories of the days we spent together. They were some of the best days of my life.

  I wish I didn’t feel so conflicted. I keep wondering if I’m making a mistake. Connections like Luca and I have don’t happen every day. We talk to each other, we understand each other, and the sex is mind-blowing. I wasn’t expecting his father to show up and that sudden rush of reporters. Anyone would have found that situation difficult. But I panicked and ran away. I made my choice and now there’s no turning back. Luca won’t forgive me after what I’ve done. I’m going to have to live with my decision.

  At the airport, I approach an airline counter and ask about a ticket. I wince when she tells me the cost and lists all the long layovers. It’s going to take nearly two days to get to Hermosillo. Then I’ll still have to hire a taxi to take me the rest of the way to San Carlos. Fine, I tell her. And place my credit card on the counter. I’ll pay it off eventually. At least all this will be behind me soon. After walking to the gate, I sit and wait for the boarding announcement. I’m relieved that no one recognizes me as Luca’s girlfriend. Or as his ex-girlfriend, I think miserably. I’m sure tomorrow the shit will hit the fan and more than likely the whole world will hear about our bitter ending. I shiver at the unpleasant thought.

  After the flight to JFK departs, I take a sleeping pill. Gradually, the tension ebbs from my muscles, the racing thoughts in my brain slow, and the edges of my emotions blur. I feel only a dull haze instead of the overwhelming agony of the empty hole where my heart is supposed to be. It’s a relief to just stop thinking, to stop feeling. Soon I drift into a drugged sleep.

  I awaken to the sound of voices and the bitter smell of coffee. I open my eyes, see the bright light in the cabin and people moving about. I don’t want to be awake. Every muscle in my body hurts. My head throbs. But what pains me the most is remembering. Luca isn’t with me now. The empty ache in my chest is more noticeable than ever. I miss him. His laugh. His smile. His masculine scent. The way he always says things that make everything feel right. I swipe away a tear with the back of my hand.

  The flight attendant serves me a cup of coffee. My headache slowly subsides. I take a few bites of yogurt and leave the rest of my food untouched. After we land, I clear customs and rush toward my connecting gate to Dallas. I still have to go there and to Mexico City before Hermosillo. There’s no luggage to transfer. I left it all behind in Vienna. I wonder what Luca’s doing right now. Is he upset that I left? Have the reporters written things that will damage his career? I wonder what they said about me. Will they write me off as just one more flavor of the week? I see a kiosk selling newspapers. Should I check to see if there’s a story? I slow down and for a moment and then decide against it. Not now.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Luca

  All night long, I toss and turn, thinking of Jade. It feels wrong not having her in bed beside me. I wish I could taste her lips and touch her skin. Instead, next to me is an empty pillow and cold sheets that make me long for the warmth of her beautiful body. I thrash around for hours until I’m entangled in the sheets by morning. I drag my leaden body out of bed and stumble into the kitchenette to brew coffee.

  I think again about Jade, wondering and worrying. Did she make it home safely? I’m worried about Mamá, too, and what the press will say about her. My father said so many awful things about her. Of course, his words were all lies. He was nasty to Jade, too, which makes no sense. He doesn’t even know her. After all that he had the nerve to ask for my help and then tried to blackmail me when things didn’t go his way. I knew he was self-centered, but I never imagined he would pull a stunt like that.

  I call my press agent. He’ll have the scoop on all the publicity that’s been circulating. My call goes to voice mail. Ten minutes later, Jorge knocks on my hotel door. He speaks to me in Spanish. “I got your message. And we do need to talk. The news people are having a field day with this. I brought a copy of the Vienna Times and a folder filled with articles I’ve printed from dozens of online sources.”

  I rub my eyes. Will this nightmare never end? “Please come in. I just made a fresh pot of coffee.”

  Jorge steps inside and I lead him into the dining area in the suite. He hands me a copy of the Vienna Times before taking a seat. Photos of me, my father, and Jade stare at me from the front page. I glance at the text and not
ice my mother’s name is mentioned.

  I swear out loud and rub my forehead.

  “Just take a deep breath. Most famous people find themselves under attack at some point in their careers. We’ll figure out a way to get through this,” says Jorge.

  I set the paper down on the table. “I’ll take a closer look in a minute. Let me get our coffee.”

  I prepare Jorge’s coffee the way he likes it with cream and mucho azúcar. After I serve him his coffee, I fill another cup for me and join him at the table.

  “I know this will be difficult. But you need to read as much of this as you can tolerate.” He pushes the thick folder toward me. I look at the local paper first. I read, teeth clenched, how my father grew tired of my mother’s endless affairs. I read on.

  “She knew how to manipulate men,” Stefano Esperanza said to a team of reporters following the Vienna concert. Luca learned how to use women the same way his mother used men, Mr. Esperanza declared. “That’s why he always bounces from one relationship to another. That Jade will end up just like the others.”

  What starts as an ache in my chest transforms to a stabbing pain. I could never have prepared myself for this. It was awful enough that my father left all of us alone and vulnerable, when my brothers and my sister were just kids. But now he has the nerve to come back to ask me for favors and when he didn’t get what he wants, he made it his mission to destroy everything I’ve worked hard for.

  I read the rest of this article and then open the folder and thumb through the articles Jorge has printed out. One or two news articles question my father’s motivations in trashing my reputation, but most of them lean in his favor. I close the folder and gaze up at Jorge. More than thirty minutes have passed and neither of us has said a word.