Still Standing

by Kristen Ashley

“Is it another set of underwear?” he asked.

  “Nooooooo.” She drew that out.

  “Is it a trip around the world?”

  “Do you want a trip around the world?”

  “No.”

  “Then, no.”

  Fuck.

  “Was it a trip around the world?” he asked.

  “Buck, just let me give it to you.”

  She wanted to give him something?

  She dug doing that (and she did)?

  He’d let her do it.

  “Right. Go for it.”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Buck grew solid.

  “And it’s confirmed. Like, not pregnancy-test pregnant. Doctor-test pregnant. So we can tell Locke and the kids tomorrow!” she stated gleefully.

  “Were we trying?” he asked.

  “Well,” she said, now hesitant, “only in the sense that you seemed to want to have a baby. And I’m not twenty-two anymore. You aren’t either. And we have our wedding planned for the day after Valentine’s Day, because Valentine’s Day is too gooey, and that day falls on a Saturday. And…” She paused, a long time, and then asked, “Did you not want to, you know, uh…see, I thought it’d be a really good present.”

  “I’m trying not to howl at the moon.”

  “Pardon?”

  “I am trying not…to howl…at the moon,” he said slowly.

  “Is that, um…a good thing?”

  “You got my baby in you?”

  “Yeeeessss,” she drew that out too.

  “And you gotta ask that shit?”

  “You don’t seem very…elated.”

  “Until I have a minute to let the news settle, I might hurt you, I’m so…elated.”

  “Really?”

  His hands moved and her body jumped, they did it so fast.

  But he caught her head and put his face in hers.

  “Clara, do you have any fuckin’ clue what it feels like to be a man who got it so damned wrong the first time around, he had to watch his kids pay for that, knowin’ he’s got something totally fuckin’ right, and he gets to give a kid that?”

  “I didn’t, but I think I’m getting it,” she whispered, her voice strange.

  “You gonna cry?”

  “You’re being very sweet.”

  “Clara, darlin’, you got my baby in you. That’s no reason to cry.”

  “Happy tears.”

  Fuck.

  Happy.

  She was happy they were going to have a baby.

  “Do you know what it’s like to have it wrong from the start and be given the gift of being able to give a child something so completely right?” she asked.

  “You didn’t have it wrong.”

  “It was still wrong. And now it’s very right.”

  Fuck.

  “I love you, Buck,” she said.

  “I know you do, baby, and I love you too.”

  “Are you happy?”

  “I’m elated.”

  She let out a little hiccupping giggle.

  And ended it crying.

  He kissed her, rolling them to their sides.

  And then he kept kissing her.

  He ended it reaching up to touch his lips to her nose and then tucking her tight to his front.

  He thought she was going to sleep.

  She wasn’t going to sleep.

  He knew that when she said, “You know, we had to go through it all to get here and get what we have…right here.”

  “I know.”

  And he did know.

  But he didn’t have to like it.

  “So, if you had the power to erase it, I wouldn’t know, after all that, how amazingly lucky I was to be right here.”

  Amazingly lucky.

  Buck closed his eyes.

  And said, “I know.”

  “I can’t wait to tell the kids.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And Locke. I think he’ll be happy.”

  “He’ll be happy. I’m happy and you’re happy, baby. So yeah, he’ll be really fuckin’ happy.”

  “I love to make you happy, Buck.”

  “It’s good you’re doin’ something you love.”

  She giggled and then she snuggled.

  He gathered her closer.

  “’Night, West,” she murmured, all sleepy. “Merry early Christmas.”

  “’Night, Toots,” he whispered. “Thank you for the best fuckin’ present ever.”

  She pressed even closer.

  “My pleasure.”

  He grinned into the dark.

  Clara fell asleep.

  Buck remained awake.

  After a while, he tipped his head back and looked out the windows at the moon.

  He didn’t howl.

  “You’d like her, Ma,” he said quietly.

  The moon had no reply.

  He’d get the reply seven months later, when they had her, and they had a name all picked out for her. But sweaty and red-faced, hair sticking to her skin, Clara’s gorgeous blue eyes came to him with their little girl curled all mucky on her chest, and she said,

  “I think she’s Lenora.”

  That wasn’t the name they’d picked.

  So Buck knew.

  His mom approved.

  But in that moment, to his wife.

  He agreed.

  Two weeks after that, he carried Lenora and the bag he had into their bedroom.

  Clara was curled up in the chair in the corner, reading.

  “Did you guys have fun running your errand?” she asked.

  “Mm,” he hummed his answer.

  She didn’t hesitate to put her book aside when he handed her their girl.

  Buck then went to the bed, dumped what was in the bag on it, and got on with sorting it.

  Once he took the thing out of the cardboard envelope and put it in the other, he turned to the dresser.

  Making adjustments, he shifted a bit to the side the pic Tatie took with her selfie stick of the four of them wrapped around each other in front of the tree on Christmas morning that was front and center.

  And he shifted back the frame that had a pic of the four of them at the foot of Vail Mountain, all in winter gear, the kids with their boards planted in the snow, Clara looking cute with a hat with a big fluffy ball at the top of it pulled down to her ears.

  And he shifted the frame that was angled with the first one he’d moved, holding that center space.

  A frame that had the pic of Clara standing next to him out in the area beyond the front of the deck. She was wearing a white dress with thin straps, lace with the tiny dots and big flowers stitched in overlying it, sleeves of that lace that went down to her elbows. It had a semi-wide skirt that had a slit up the front to her mid-thigh and a thin white belt tied around her waist.

  A gown she’d worn with bright pink, sexy sandals.

  She had her arms around his middle, her cheek to his white shirt, her foot kicked back, exposing her shoes and a shapely calf.

  A massive smile was on her face.

  Same as him.

  That was because, beside them, Tatiana, wearing her bridesmaid dress, had just jumped up on Gear’s back.

  And Gear had caught her.

  Both his kids were full-on, eyes closed, mouths-open laughing.

  He had good-looking kids.

  He set the new frame down. Eight by ten. Pride of place in the middle.

  The couch in the living room.

  Buck had Lenora in an arm.

  He also had Clara in his lap.

  Both their kids were on either side, leaning in, arms around them and each other.

  Chap had snapped that shot.

  Once Buck had positioned it where he wanted it, he looked to his wife and baby girl.

  “Soon, we’re going to have to get another dresser,” she remarked.

  “I got no problem with that,” he replied.

  Then he took them in, and while he did, he sent out word, seeing as it seemed God had be
en paying a fair amount of attention for about the last year.

  So, since he already had a gorgeous girl with dark hair, he hoped Lenora coming out bald as the cue ball her mother was unable to successfully hit in order to win a game of pool meant his new baby girl would have her mother’s honey.

  “You good?” he asked.

  “Always,” she answered.

  Buck went to her.

  Bent deep.

  Kissed her nose.

  Bent deeper.

  Kissed a tiny baby nose.

  Then he walked out of the room.

  The End

  The Aces High MC will return…

  in the Wild West MC Series

  Discussion & Reflection Questions

  Book Club Discussions

  Still Standing

  * * *

  1.Moments in your youth define your life, and things, sometimes even little ones, can mold your reactions and responses for the rest of your life. On the surface, Clara’s relationship with her first husband looks like hers was a charmed life when, in fact, she had very humble beginnings that included foster care. To look at Buck’s life, you’d think maybe his childhood was marred with strife. It was, however, not. He had two loving parents.

  * * *

  Book questions: Were you surprised at Clara’s backstory? Buck’s? Were you surprised to see a loving family surrounding Rogan in the end?

  * * *

  Reflection-Discussion questions: What is something from your upbringing that you think shaped the way you live and operate in the world today? Do you see this as something you wish to change about yourself, or it is something that makes you stronger?

  * * *

  2.Desmond Tutu said, “Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Forgiveness is a major theme in Still Standing. Clara runs up against it multiple times in ways that cut deep. In fact, it seems like the men in her life often require her forgiveness.

  * * *

  Book questions: Do you feel Clara should have forgiven Rogan? Do you feel she should have forgiven Buck? Do you feel Buck should forgive Kristy?

  * * *

  Reflection-Discussion questions: How do you forgive? When do you forgive? Is it okay to never forgive?

  * * *

  3.Motorcycle Clubs are big on a couple of things, live free and party hard are the easy ones, loyalty and brotherhood are the core.

  * * *

  Book questions: How do you feel about the men’s demonstration of loyalty when they’re covering their brothers’ cheating?

  * * *

  Reflection-Discussion questions: How do you define loyalty? In a marriage or relationship? In a friendship? With family? And what about blind loyalty? What do you do when being loyal requires you to make yourself small in some way?

  * * *

  4.With Clara coming from a foster home situation and Buck being part of a MC, found family is as vital as blood. In some instances, found family is stronger than blood.

  * * *

  Book questions: Were you surprised Clara fit in with the MC family? If so, why?

  * * *

  Reflection-Discussion questions: Who is your found family? How did you find them? What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done for part of your found family?

  * * *

  5.If you could pick one song that fits Clara and Buck’s love story, what would it be?

  * * *

  6.Are you a sweet or savory breakfast person? What would you want Buck to cook for you? Do you have a favorite Pop Tart flavor?

  * * *

  7.You’ve read Still Standing. What was your favorite part? Which was your favorite scene? Who was your favorite secondary character? Where do you see the Aces High Motorcycle Club heading next?

  About the Author

  Kristen Ashley is the New York Times bestselling author of over seventy romance novels including the Rock Chick, Colorado Mountain, Dream Man, Chaos, Unfinished Heroes, The ’Burg, Magdalene, Fantasyland, The Three, Ghost and Reincarnation, The Rising, Dream Team and Honey series along with several standalone novels.

  She’s a hybrid author, publishing titles both independently and traditionally, her books have been translated in fourteen languages and she’s sold over four million books.

  Kristen’s novel, Law Man, won the RT Book Reviews Reviewer’s Choice Award for best Romantic Suspense, her independently published title Hold On was nominated for RT Book Reviews best Independent Contemporary Romance and her traditionally published title Breathe was nominated for best Contemporary Romance. Kristen’s titles Motorcycle Man, The Will, and Ride Steady (which won the Reader’s Choice award from Romance Reviews) all made the final rounds for Goodreads Choice Awards in the Romance category.

  The Will, the first novel in Kristen’s Magdalene series, was made into a motion picture with Passionflix and released on Valentine’s Day, 2020.

  Kristen, born in Gary and raised in Brownsburg, Indiana, was a fourth-generation graduate of Purdue University. Since, she has lived in Denver, the West Country of England, and she now resides in Phoenix. She worked as a charity executive for eighteen years prior to beginning her independent publishing career. She now writes full-time.

  Although romance is her genre, the prevailing themes running through all of Kristen’s novels are friendship, family and a strong sisterhood. To this end, and as a way to thank her readers for their support, Kristen has created the Rock Chick Nation, a series of programs that are designed to give back to her readers and promote a strong female community.

  The mission of the Rock Chick Nation is to live your best life, be true to your true self, recognize your beauty, and last but definitely not least, take your sister’s back whether they’re at your side as friends and family or if they’re thousands of miles away and you don’t know who they are.

  The programs of the RC Nation include Rock Chick Rendezvous, weekends Kristen organizes full of parties and get-togethers to bring the sisterhood together, Rock Chick Recharges, evenings Kristen arranges for women who have been nominated to receive a special night, and Rock Chick Rewards, an ongoing program that raises funds for nonprofit women’s organizations Kristen’s readers nominate. Kristen’s Rock Chick Rewards have donated over $146,000 to charity and this number continues to rise.

  You can read more about Kristen, her titles and the Rock Chick Nation at KristenAshley.net.

  * * *

  Connect with Kristen Ashley

  Also by Kristen Ashley

  Rock Chick Series:

  Rock Chick

  Rock Chick Rescue

  Rock Chick Redemption

  Rock Chick Renegade

  Rock Chick Revenge

  Rock Chick Reckoning

  Rock Chick Regret

  Rock Chick Revolution

  Rock Chick Reawakening

  Rock Chick Reborn

  The ‘Burg Series:

  For You

  At Peace

  Golden Trail

  Games of the Heart

  The Promise

  Hold On

  The Chaos Series:

  Own the Wind

  Fire Inside

  Ride Steady

  Walk Through Fire

  A Christmas to Remember

  Rough Ride

  Wild Like the Wind

  Free

  Wild Fire

  Wild Wind

  The Colorado Mountain Series:

  The Gamble

  Sweet Dreams

  Lady Luck

  Breathe

  Jagged

  Kaleidoscope

  Bounty

  Dream Man Series:

  Mystery Man

  Wild Man

  Law Man

  Motorcycle Man

  Quiet Man

  Dream Team Series:

  Dream Maker

  Dream Chaser

  Dream Bites Cookbook

  Dream Spinner

  * * *

  The Fantasyland Series:

>   Wildest Dreams

  The Golden Dynasty

  Fantastical

  Broken Dove

  Midnight Soul

  The Honey Series:

  The Deep End

  The Farthest Edge

  The Greatest Risk

  The Magdalene Series:

  The Will

  Soaring

  The Time in Between

  Moonlight and Motor Oil Series:

  The Hookup

  The Slow Burn

  The River Rain Series:

  After the Climb

  * * *

  The Three Series:

  Until the Sun Falls from the Sky

  With Everything I Am

  Wild and Free

  The Unfinished Hero Series:

  Knight

  Creed

  Raid

  Deacon

  Sebring

  Ghosts and Reincarnation Series:

  Sommersgate House

  Lacybourne Manor

  Penmort Castle

  Fairytale Come Alive

  Lucky Stars

  The Rising Series:

  The Beginning of Everything

  The Plan Commences

  The Dawn of the End

  The Rising

  Mathilda, SuperWitch:

  Mathilda’s Book of Shadows

  Mathilda The Rise of the Dark Lord

  Other Titles by Kristen Ashley:

  Heaven and Hell

  Play It Safe

  Three Wishes

  Complicated

  Loose Ends

  Fast Lane

  CLICK HERE TO ORDER TITLES by KRISTEN ASHLEY