Remembrance: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series Book 4)

by Lynn, Rebecca

  Her stomach was a wreck, feeling completely unsettled and nervous. She didn’t want to text him back or talk to him. She didn’t know if she’d be able to keep it together if she heard his voice. She needed to wait a while, then she’d text him later saying that she’d forgotten she’d made other plans and couldn’t get together. That would buy her a little time to think through how to handle the overall situation.

  So she did just that. She putzed around the loft, cleaning and picking up, but after a few minutes, she was so tired, she had to lie back down. Depression had sapped her of all her energy. Quiet sobs shook her body while she closed her eyes. It was now late morning and another text came in from Luke.

  LD: Hey. Call me when u get this. We need to set up details for our hot date.

  Normally, the text would’ve made her smile, feel giddy. Now it just felt like he was making fun of her, toying with her, not taking her seriously. She cried some more and fell back onto the pillow.

  She needed to get out of the loft, be around people. Preferably, people who would give her a shot of self-confidence, make her feel like she could attract a man. And she knew just how to do that.

  How pathetic that she was going to go through with what she was now devising in her head. How pathetic that she needed another man to come on to her to make her feel worthy.

  Now, she was getting mad.

  She was worthy, regardless of whether friggin’ Luke Daniels wanted her or not. Hell, she was worthy regardless of whether any man wanted her or not, but it sure would be fun to get some more compliments. And if Luke couldn’t appreciate what was standing in front of him, then screw him. She’d go out and have fun and forget all about him.

  She immediately sent an instant message through Facebook to Chaz letting him know she was available for the evening. She asked if he wanted to meet her later for drinks at a wine bar in Chelsea.

  JC: Hey Chaz. It looks like I have some time to tonight to get together. Are you free?

  CC: Absolutely!

  JC: Great. There’s a wine bar in Chelsea.

  She gave him the name and address.

  CC: I’ll meet you there at 7:30. And I was just talking to Tony Romanowski today. Remember him?

  Janie rolled her eyes. He’d been a bigger dick than Chaz in high school.

  JC: Yeah.

  CC: He says hi.

  JC: Hi back. ;)

  CC: I’ll c u tonight then.

  She held her stomach and took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She was going to do this. She was going to blow off Luke and go out with the asshole of CAS high school instead.

  Simply standing Luke up didn’t sit well with her, though. She knew she needed to let him know their date was off. She’d just wait until she was ready to send him a message.

  After lunch time, he’d sent her yet another text asking where she was. Then a half hour later, she got a text from Mike asking her if she was alright.

  She knew if she heard her brother’s voice, she’d dissolve into a puddle of tears, so rather than call him, she texted.

  JC: I’m fine. Why?

  MC: Luke’s trying to get in touch w/ u. He said u haven’t been answering ur phone all day and he’s worried. Lmk ur ok.

  Shit. That only made her cry more. She needed to text Luke and just be done with it, but before she did she responded to her brother.

  JC: Just busy today. Love u. XO

  MC: Love u back. Call Luke. He’s worried. XO

  She sighed and toyed with the phone, thinking through her text for Luke. She started typing.

  JC: I have plans w/ an old high school friend tonight that I forgot about. We’ll have to get together another time. I’m sure you’ll find something to do to fill the lonely hours.

  Before she hit send, she looked over the casual message about a hundred times, analyzing every nuance, every possible interpretation and then finally just sent it. Whatever. She didn’t care anymore.

  Moments later, her phone rang. A flurry of nerves hit her and she looked at the phone. Thankfully it was Carolyn calling, Luke’s assistant. She took another calming breath and answered.

  “Hi, Carolyn.”

  “Hey, Janie. Have you recovered yet?” she asked with a small laugh.

  “Yes,” she said with a smile.

  “It was a great night,” she said, referring to the holiday party. “Really, Janie. The food was outstanding. I’ve heard so many great comments and those of us in the office are still talking about it.”

  “I’m so glad. Thanks for all you did to help. I know what a huge undertaking it was for you to organize everything.”

  “I enjoyed it thoroughly, but I ain’t gonna lie. I’m glad it’s over,” she laughed. “So I just wanted to settle up and talk through the invoice then we can send you the final installment of the payment.”

  “Great,” Janie said, happy to be talking business. A couple of minutes into their discussion, Janie heard Luke in the background, then Carolyn said, “Excuse me? Yeah, it’s Janie. Do you need her?” Luke was obviously standing near her desk. Janie heard a short response then Carolyn came back on the line.

  “Sorry about that,” Carolyn said. “Luke just wanted to tell you that he needs to talk to you before we hang up.”

  “You know what?” Janie began, her heart galloping now at full speed and panic setting in. “Unfortunately I don’t have time right now.”

  “Oh, okay. Umm,” Carolyn said. “He was kind of adamant,” she said professionally, but whispered into the phone. “You know how he is.” She sounded like an indulgent mother who was smiling. “Can I tell him you’ll call him back in a bit?”

  “I really don’t have time, Carolyn. I’m actually getting ready for a date,” Janie blurted out.

  Now why did you go and tell her that, Janie?

  You know why. She’s going to want to tell Luke.

  Is this what you’re doing now? Using sweet wonderful people like Carolyn? Horrible.

  There was a pause, then, “Really? Well, that’s exciting,” Carolyn gushed. “Who are you going out with?” she asked in a whisper.

  Janie winced, immediately feeling guilty, but said quickly. “Just a guy from high school. We caught up on Facebook and decided to go out for drinks tonight.”

  “Well, well,” she said knowingly. “I can see why you don’t have time to talk to Luke, then,” she chuckled. “I’ll just let him know you’re unavailable.”

  Janie bit her lip. “Thanks, Carolyn. Tell him we’ll talk soon. Maybe that’ll appease him,” she added.

  “I doubt that,” Carolyn said dryly.

  “So we’re all good with the bill? Any last minute questions?”

  “No, I think we’re good. I’ll get the check out to you today.”

  “Great. Thanks so much, Carolyn.”

  “Don’t be a stranger, Janie. I got used to seeing you. And listen, you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s and let’s make sure we get to see you after the holidays, okay?”

  “Will do. You have a good holiday, too.”

  “Bye, Janie. And have fun tonight,” she sang out with a laugh.

  “Thanks, Carolyn. Bye.”

  Janie disconnected and sat down on the sofa, gnawing on her lip, her stomach a jumble of nerves. She got up to start picking out her clothes for the evening and while doing that, her phone rang. She looked over and saw it was Luke.

  Shit. Stop calling me, Luke. You’re killin’ me here.

  She let it go to voicemail and a moment later she heard the beep that he’d left a message. She grabbed her phone to listen to it.

  “You’re going out on a date?” he asked softly. “You tell me in a text you forgot about plans with an old high school friend, then Carolyn tells me you’re going on a date? And, what, you just decided to have drinks tonight? This was before or after we made plans, Janie?” He sounded annoyed. “We had plans, Janie, so you’re just going to have to break the date. And it better not be with fucking Weston, I swear.” Then he muttered
some Spanish swear words. “Call me. I mean it. Otherwise, I’ll be at your doorstep so fast, your head will spin.” Then he hung up.

  Janie groaned out a feeling of agony from deep in her gut. She was so pissed at him. Who the hell did he think he was, after breaking their agreement and having sex with that monster last night?

  She gave herself a mental shake and went back to picking out clothes for her drinks with Chaz. Something sexy that showed off her best attributes. Her boobs, her waist, and her… Just then the conversation from when she’d been shopping with Luke floated into her consciousness. You should wear skinny jeans. You got the legs for them, woman.

  Janie grabbed her purse, some accessories and other articles of clothing, and ran out the door.

  ……

  At 7 o’clock that night, she looked at herself one last time in the mirror of her mother’s bathroom and turned to inspect her backside. She couldn’t believe it, but she had purchased, and was now prepared to show off her nicely encased legs and ass, in her very first pair of skinny jeans. Dark in color, she’d tucked them into the new boots Luke had bought her. Then on top she wore a low-cut rust colored shirt with a touch of Lycra in it to hug her body. With it, she wore a long necklace of different metallic metal tones with matching earrings, then finished it off with one of her long bohemian sweater coats made of multi colored threads and yarns, along with a complimentary scarf.

  For her hair, she’d left it primarily down, her curls cascading down her back and the majority of the sides up and off her face with soft tendrils falling gracefully down to her neck. Taking a note out of Emily’s book, she smoked up her eyes and finished her look with pale lipstick and shimmery pale blush.

  She looked good. And she knew she looked good. She didn’t need anyone to tell her this time. The thought made her eyes tear up.

  She’d left her loft hours earlier, had gone to a department store, and then spent the rest of the afternoon at her mom’s.

  She didn’t let on that anything was wrong to her mother, just that she wanted to stop by and say hi. Janie skirted around Luke as a topic of conversation and told her mom that she’d had plans with some friends in her parents’ neighborhood that night, so was just getting ready there to save some time.

  Her mom didn’t even blink at the lie, but was giddy and happy in a way that Janie hadn’t seen in a long while. She chalked it up to the holidays.

  As much as she hated lying, there was no way Janie was going back to her loft to bump into Luke. She wasn’t quite ready to have it out with him yet.

  Just as Janie was about to leave the bathroom, her phone rang. It was Emily.

  “Hey,” Janie said.

  “Hey, you. Just checkin’ in. You okay?” she immediately asked.

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Janie said, going into her old bedroom to get her sweater coat and her purse.

  “Mike mentioned that Luke called him before,” she said, sounding like she was holding back a chuckle. “He’d been worried because you weren’t returning his calls.”

  Shit. She couldn’t talk about this now. She didn’t want to start crying.

  “Well, Luke Daniels shouldn’t expect that I’m going to jump every time he calls. It’s not like I don’t have a life,” she groused, making an annoyed sound with her tongue. “I can’t believe he called Mike.” Then as an afterthought, she muttered, “Ridiculous.”

  There was a beat of silence while Janie fumed, then Emily asked quietly, “What happened, sweetie?”

  Don’t be nice right now, Em! I don’t wanna mess up my make up!

  “I can’t talk now,” Janie said on a choked sob before she could stop it from escaping. “I’m meeting Chaz for drinks. You know. Chaz the Razz, the guy from high school.”

  “What happened, Janie?” she asked softly. “Why weren’t you returning his calls? Did something happen? Mike said Luke really sounded worried.”

  “Em,” she whined as she blinked back the first onslaught of tears and began fanning her eyes. “He doesn’t want me. That’s what happened. He’s fucking around with Vanessa, and I’m not waiting for him anymore. Idiot,” she mumbled, wondering who the bigger one was in this scenario – her or Luke. She sniffed. “We were supposed to go out tonight for his birthday and then I broke it off because he’s an arrogant, lying, insensitive jerkwad.” She shook her head to stave off the crying and to get herself together. “I really can’t talk. I’m literally walking out the door. I’m supposed to meet Chaz in less than half an hour.”

  Emily sighed. “Where are you going with this guy?”

  “Just some wine bar in Chelsea. You know that one by Ayanna and Jon’s place? ‘By the Glass’.”

  Emily let go of another frustrated sigh. “Yeah, I know it. Okay. Text me when you get home. I don’t like the fact that you’re going out with a guy who was a complete asshole to you in high school.”

  “I’ll be fine. I’m only going out with him this once. Don’t worry.”

  “I still want you to text. And I wanna know what happened with Luke. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

  “Alright,” she said glumly. “I’ll call you in the morning.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Janie disconnected and ran to the bathroom to make sure she hadn’t ruined her make up. All was good. She threw on her sweater coat, put on her scarf, yelled a goodbye to her parents and was out the door.

  Chapter 14

  Janie walked into the wine bar giving herself a pep talk.

  You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

  She looked around and didn’t see Chaz anywhere, so asked to be seated in the back. She sat and faced the door, waiting, nervous as hell. Not just because she was meeting Chaz but because of all of the emotional junk that she’d dealt with over the last 24 hours. Tapping into her inner Yogi, she took a few deep breaths and steadied her nerves. A waitress came by and Janie ordered a bottle of red. She needed a drink to prepare.

  Movement near the front door caught her eye as she noticed a young man step in, Italian in looks. He began to look around.

  It was Chaz.

  She barely had a moment to gather her thoughts before he made eye contact with her. He gave her a cocky grin and walked over. He looked the same, only better looking. Dark hair, dark eyes, a little under six feet and built nicely. He was wearing a sweater and leather jacket with some jeans and boots. He looked good and it was obvious he knew it.

  The expression on his face wasn’t giving her much hope that his personality had improved. She got up and smiled, ready to greet him.

  “Hey,” he said, his eyes drifting down to her chest immediately then back up to her eyes with another smile.

  “Hi, Chaz,” she said, then nearly groaned at his perusal. “You look exactly the same. How are you?”

  He leaned in to hug her which took her a little by surprise. She hugged him back as he pressed himself into her. He stepped back and answered, “I’m good, I’m good. The question is, how are you? You’re fuckin’ hot,” he smiled salaciously while his eyes again took a leisurely stroll down, then up, her body. When his eyes landed on her boobs, then finally reached her eyes again, he looked as if he’d just done her a favor.

  Well, shit. If this was how the night was going to unfold, she’d only herself to blame. How long did one need to stay for it to be deemed appropriate?

  “Gee, thanks Chaz,” she said dryly. “I was kind of surprised to hear from you, actually,” she said, figuring she’d get this thing moving so it could crash and burn quickly, get her out of there faster. They both sat. Just then their waitress came over with the wine and poured them both a glass. Once she’d left, they both took a sip.

  Finally responding to Janie’s comment, Chaz said, “I understand.” His tone was a little contrived. “I was definitely a dick to you in high school, I know.”

  “Yes, you were,” she smiled brilliantly, as if to say is that all you have to say about it?

&n
bsp; He sighed. “That’s just my personality, you know? I just like to josh around, is all. But look at you now,” he said. “There’s nothing to make fun of now,” he smiled.

  Gah. Wrong thing to say. Was there an apology in there? And was there ever a right time to make fun of someone? She cocked her head. “And if there was? You know, something still to make fun of? What then?”

  He waved his hand as if it was inconsequential now given the different circumstances. “So you’re a chef?” he asked. “That’s kind of ironic, huh?” he laughed.

  She plastered a smile on her face. “Ironic because I’m around food all day, but now I’m no longer fat?”

  “Yeah! Don’t you think that’s funny?” he quipped.

  Hilarious.

  “So, what are you doing with yourself these days?” Janie asked, ignoring his question. Just be nice, then get the hell out.

  “I do some DJ’ing on the side for parties, but my full time job is in Radio as a producer. I’m also a disc jockey on an up and coming internet radio comedy show.”

  “That sounds interesting.” She tried to sound like she cared.

  “Yeah, now I get paid to make fun of people,” he guffawed.

  Just keeps gettin’ better and better. Leave, Janie. You owe this guy nothing.

  “Well, that’s something. Your parents must be so proud,” she deadpanned.

  He shrugged. “They’re not exactly thrilled. They always wanted me to be an executive somewhere but radio was always what I wanted to do. So, whattaya gonna do, right?”

  Exactly. Whattaya gonna do, Janie?

  He continued talking about his work. They spent the next twenty minutes talking, his jokes getting worse and worse, and her stomach hurting more and more. It was a mistake to have gone out with him. At least she could check it off her list. Chaz hadn’t changed a bit and Janie had no desire to continue the evening with him.