Bedding the Billionaire

by Ruth Cardello

Page 21

 

  Jake returned to his own place at the table and said, “I never said I didn’t want to marry her. ”

  All eyes turned to him.

  Jake shrugged. “Well, I didn’t. ”

  Stephan’s aunt, Elise, said, “Isn’t it amazing that men and women get together at all?”

  Jake continued, “I even asked her to move in with me, but she said no. Now she won’t even talk to me. ”

  Abby said, “I’ll go find her. ” She wagged a finger at Dominic. “Behave while I’m gone. ”

  He simply smiled up at her and she hesitated.

  Stephan’s mother, Katrine, said, “Go on, Abby. We’ve got this. ” She turned to her sister-in-law. “Elise, doesn’t this bring back memories?”

  Her husband, Victor, laughed and asked, “Were we this bad?”

  Elise threw both hands in the air and joked, “Worse. ”

  Stephan sighed and said, “Makes me almost wish I had a brother. ” When both Dominic and Jake aggressively jumped to their feet, he quickly dissolved the tension by raising his two hands in an amused call for peace. “Almost. ”

  They sat somewhat reluctantly.

  Nicole said, “Zhang left the table, too. Do you think we upset her?”

  Katrine said wryly, “I don’t know what she could have seen that would make a sane person reconsider having dinner with us. ”

  Nicole smiled and laid her hand on her fiancé’s. “At least we know the wedding won’t be boring. ”

  Dominic looked across the table at Jake and asked, “Best man?”

  Jake dabbed a napkin into his glass of water and pressed it to a cut on his cheek. “Absolutely. ”

  Lil slipped out a side door and onto a balcony that overlooked one of the main gardens. To her surprise, it was already occupied. “I’m sorry,” she said hastily. “I just couldn’t stay in there a moment more. ”

  “Nor could I,” Zhang answered.

  Lil moved to leave and Zhang said, “Your sister is a wonderful woman. I now proudly count her as one of my friends. ”

  Lil heard something in the woman’s voice that gave her pause. She turned and walked back to where Zhang was seated on a bench. “But you don’t want to be in her bridal party. ”

  “Precisely. ” Zhang motioned for Lil to join her. “Is there a customary way to decline the honor without either side losing face?”

  Lil sat on the bench beside her. “If you hear of one, tell me. I don’t want to be in it either. ”

  A look of surprise crossed over the woman’s face, just a brief flash before she regained her composure. “That’s surprising. ”

  Lil shook her head sadly. “Not really. If Abby is smart she’ll choose someone better suited. I’m a walking disaster. ”

  “That’s not the way Abby described you. ”

  “Really?” Lil heard the hope in her voice and was somewhat embarrassed by it.

  Zhang’s tone warmed. “Abby and I have spoken about you on several occasions. She said you were born with your mother’s spirit–quite the warrior soul. She admires your strength. ”

  “I didn’t know there was a thing about me that she approved of,” Lil said, surprised and moved by Zhang’s words.

  Zhang didn’t let Lil’s side comment slide by without rebuttal. “Then you don’t know your sister very well. She also envies your circle of friends. She said you collect people who would do anything for you. ”

  “I’ve always been very lucky with that. ”

  “Friendship is not a result of luck, it’s a testament to our character. You inspire loyalty in your friends because you’ve earned it. ”

  “I don’t know how. ”

  Zhang considered her and said, “An eagle will never swim as well as a dolphin. The eagle’s potential will only be realized when it decides to soar instead of dive. ”

  Lil cocked her head thoughtfully. “You think I’m trying to be Abby?”

  “You tell me. ”

  Lil thought about how she’d always wished she were more like Abby. How, even at their parents’ funeral, Abby had seemed able to make better decisions. She hadn’t cried too long at the caskets, hadn’t refused to meet relatives who had flown in from around the country and definitely hadn’t thrown a bowl of candies at someone who had dared to try to console her.

  No, right from the start Abby had been the better person.

  Or, at the very least, the less controversial one.

  Oh, my God, I’ve been trying to be Abby.

  And hating her because I couldn’t be.

  “Did Abby really say I was like my mother?”

  Zhang smiled. “She did. Did you know that your mother was arrested for participating in a war protest?”

  Lil’s jaw dropped open. “No. I’ve never heard that story. ”

  “Apparently your mother’s fighting heart got her into a few tricky situations–some even involving the law. ”

  That’s not possible.

  “I don’t remember my mother being anything but warm and loving. ”

  “Your sister has been going through some of your parents’ old papers and was equally surprised by some of what she found. I’m sure she would love to show you the newspaper clippings if you were interested. ”

  “I am. I can’t believe my mother was ever arrested. She was so. . . perfect. ”

  Zhang gave a rueful smile. “The heart remembers people kindly, but no one is perfect. I’ve heard about some of your adventures and I admire your spirit. You stand up for those you care about. You say what you think, no matter the cost. Those are qualities I respect. You should, too. ” The simplicity and power of Zhang’s comment hung in the reflective quiet that followed them.

  Ok, so I’ll never be Abby, but if Zhang was right–maybe I don’t have to be.

  “I’ve wasted a lot of time second guessing myself,” Lil said, marveling at how comfortable she felt sharing her greatest concern with someone she didn’t know. Or perhaps it was simply because she didn’t know Zhang that she could say what she had tried to conceal from even herself.

  Zhang shrugged. “I didn’t get where I am today by never making a mistake. ”

  Maybe I’ll be a good mother after all and this year will simply be newspaper clipping my kids will laugh about. “Thank you, Zhang. I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me. ”

  Zhang nodded, still looking far too solemn.

  Her unhappiness was none of Lil’s business.

  This was exactly the type of crossroad Lil felt she often made the wrong decision at.

  Things would go much smoother if she didn’t get involved.

  I’ve never really been the one to take the easy road, maybe it’s time to embrace that about myself.

  “Why don’t you want to be in the wedding?” Lil asked.

  The same woman who had freely discussed Lil’s personal life did not seem as willing to reveal anything about her own. “I’m not exactly the American wedding type. ”

  “You don’t want to drink too much while dressed from head-to-toe in mauve taffeta and wake up the next morning wondering why you French kissed your best friend’s brother?”

  Zhang didn’t so much as crack a smile.

  Tough crowd.

  “Something like that,” Zhang said.

  “Why do I get the feeling you’ve never done that?”

  That did get Zhang to smile.

  “I haven’t either. ” At Zhang’s raised eyebrow, Lil admitted, “Okay, once…maybe twice. ”

  Zhang shook her head in amusement.

  Lil defended herself with humor. “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Something about weddings makes me a little nutty. ”

  The other woman’s smile slipped away. “Weddings make me sad. ”

  Now, we’re getting somewhere.

  “Is that the reason you don’t want to be in Abby’s?”

  Zhang didn’t respond for a moment. Instead, she took in the night sky as if no re
sponse were anticipated. Finally, she said, “I’m the woman I wanted to become. I have more than I could have ever imagined. I’ve done more than I ever dreamt I could. But I’m alone. ”

  It was difficult for Lil to imagine that a woman as confident and beautiful as Zhang wouldn’t have a man in her life. The real sadness in her voice hinted at a level of loneliness more profound than a romantic dry spell.

  “Don’t you have a family?” Lil asked.

  “Yes, of course. My parents often join me in whichever home I am using at the time, but I go to sleep alone. I wake up alone. When I close on a deal and want to celebrate I can call friends who wonder how much money will be enough for me, parents who think it’s time for me to concentrate on finding a husband, or keep the news to myself. I often choose the latter. ” Zhang’s intense black eyes revealed a pain Lil was certain the woman had not shared with many. “Your sister tells me that you won’t accept anyone’s help because you want to be independent. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes it’s not everything you thought it would be. ”

  Lil thought about Jake. She’d been afraid that she would lose herself if she accepted any help from him but, looking back, Jake had consistently shown her that he valued her interests and her goals. It would have been easy for a man of his wealth to dismiss her desire to finish her degree, but he hadn’t. Another man might have asked to see one of her sketches and buried her beneath a deluge of flattery that would have meant nothing, but Jake hadn’t done that either. He had respected the desire every artist has to learn and improve. Her gut told her that Jake wouldn’t make her choose–she could still be a strong, independent woman and be his.

  If only he loved her.

  Yes, he wanted her. Yes, he respected her, but what if he had nothing more than that to offer her?

  Even if I take my betrayal with me to the grave…is half of Jake better than none?

  There were plenty of things Lil had no control over: she couldn’t make Jake love her, she couldn’t undo the past, but she could damn well put her insecurities aside and do the right thing for Abby.

  “I’ll make you a deal, Zhang. ”

  The woman looked at her.

  “I’ll find Abby and tell her that I’d love to be her maid of honor if you say yes to being a bridesmaid. You keep me out of trouble at the wedding and I’ll make you laugh. ”

  Zhang’s expression was difficult to interpret.

  “Deal?” Lil asked hopefully.

  “Yes,” she said slowly.

  Abby stepped out onto the balcony. “Oh, this is where you two disappeared to. ”

  Zhang stood and said, “Excuse me, but I know the two of you have things you need to discuss. ”

  Lil touched Zhang’s arm before she left and said, “Thank you. ”

  Zhang nodded with a smile that reached her eyes and said, “Don’t be afraid to soar, Lil. Find your wings. ” Then she exited the balcony.

  Abby came to sit beside her sister. At first neither said anything and then they both said,