I hugged her. ‘Thanks, Claire, you’re a rock.’
33
I rang Babs from the car to tell her about the knickers and to let her know that we were moving in with her. She said we could stay for a few days but no more because her apartment was small and she didn’t want the kids breaking her things. She sounded very stressed at the idea of it and, really, I couldn’t blame her.
When we arrived, she showed the children her tiny spare room, then got snappy when they jumped on the bed.
‘Could you try to be a bit nicer?’ I asked.
‘I don’t want my stuff getting wrecked,’ she barked.
‘Fine. I’ll tie them to a chair. Will that make you happy?’
‘Don’t be stupid.’
‘Sorry, I’m just freaking out here.’ I went into the spare bedroom and told the kids to unpack the suitcase in the hope that it would keep them busy and out of trouble for ten minutes.
When I came out, Babs was sitting on the sofa, her feet curled under her. ‘Emma, there’s something weird about this supposed affair. It doesn’t add up. The whole thing is so wacky. Who the hell would have an affair with a nut-job? If it is this school mum, why would she ask your nanny questions about your husband? Surely she knew Claire would tell you.’
‘She’s obviously deranged, so maybe she doesn’t care.’
Babs shrugged. ‘I suppose so. Anyway, I have to go to work. I told them I’d be late, but I have to be in for eleven. Please try and stop the kids from trashing my apartment.’
Yuri and Lara were soon causing havoc in Babs’s shoebox home, so I decided to take them out for a few hours to tire them. We spent the afternoon in Hyde Park, feeding the ducks and going for tea and scones in the coffee shop. Then I walked them down Oxford Street and we went for pizza in a little restaurant off Marylebone Lane. By the time we got back to Babs’s that evening, the children were exhausted. They collapsed into bed and were fast asleep before their heads hit the pillows.
I closed the bedroom door and sank into the couch. Babs was watching Gok Wan’s show, where he was doing a make-over. She kept muttering about how much better she was. Her face was very pale and she had black rings under her eyes. ‘I saw you arguing with Gary at work on Tuesday. What happened? Did you tell him about the abortion?’
Babs put her hands over her face and groaned. ‘He is the biggest prick that ever lived,’ she fumed.
‘What happened?’
‘It was later, when I was packing up to leave for the day. He came into the makeup room and shut the door. He asked me why I was avoiding him and said he was sorry about “the other thing”, as he so brilliantly put it.’
‘He’s such a dickhead,’ I said, feeling my blood boiling at the mere thought of him.
‘So he says, “Look, Babs, we have to work together and everyone’s noticed how icy the atmosphere has been. Can we just put this behind us and be professional about it? I can see you’re angry and I get that. But it’s over now, we need to move on.”’
‘It’s all about Gary,’ I observed.
‘So I told him exactly how angry I was and why. “You filled me with bullshit about your unhappy marriage and your bitch of a wife and when I got pregnant you didn’t want to know me. You’re such a great guy, Gary. A real gem.”’
‘Good for you.’ I was delighted she had stood up to him. ‘What did he say?’
‘He sneered at me, “And you’re such a lovely girl with such a pure reputation. No one in the industry thinks you’re a slut. No one thinks you’re an easy shag. Do you know what they call you? The Irish greyhound. You’re like a dog in heat. Every man knows you’ll shag him if it’ll help your career. You think you’re so hot. Wake up, babe, this is TV. There’s always someone better-looking, smarter and more ambitious coming up behind you.”’
My mouth fell open. ‘What? How dare he? That’s – that’s horrible.’
‘Yeah, I was pretty shocked myself, but I just told him he was full of crap and that I’m a brilliant presenter, and then he really stuck his boot in.’ Babs looked upset. ‘He told me that the ratings went down after I shouted at that guest last week who was colour-blind and that people are sick of my arrogance and my bluntness. He says he’ll have me replaced within six weeks.’
I was outraged. ‘That’s rubbish. People love it that you’re so honest. It’s your thing, your trademark. It’s what makes you different. Don’t let him threaten you like that. He has no right. I bet you he’s bluffing so you’ll leave.’
‘The problem is, Emma, that if I get fired from a crappy show on a TV channel that has mediocre viewing figures at the best of times, I’m screwed. This show was supposed to be a stepping stone. I was using it as a launching pad to showcase my talent. But now they’re going to replace me and it won’t be easy to get another presenting job.’
‘But he can’t get away with that! It’s outrageous! He’s trying to fire you because of the pregnancy.’
Babs sighed. ‘What can I do? If my ratings are down, he’s entitled to fire me.’
‘You could threaten to tell his wife,’ I suggested.
‘I did,’ Babs admitted. ‘But he said I’d never work in TV again. He could ruin my career. The producers are the ones with all the power in TV.’
‘Oh, Babs, I could strangle him. He is such a scumbag.’
Babs clasped her hands together. ‘I know, but unless my agent can find me something really quickly, my career could be over.’ Her eyes were filling. This was Babs: she never cried. She was absolutely devastated: first the abortion, then being dumped and now her job …
I needed to boost her confidence. ‘Don’t you dare let that snake knock you down. Get onto your agent and start auditioning for other jobs. You’re brilliant at what you do. OK, you can be harsh at times, but your honesty is what makes you stand out. Don’t let this stop you. It’s just a bump in the road. Come on, stiff upper lip, onwards and upwards!’ I’d morphed into our mother.
‘I rang my agent first thing this morning. She’s going to look around for me.’
‘Good for you.’
‘I just can’t believe I was so stupid. I actually believed him. Me! The most cynical person alive! I believed a total tosser when he said he loved me. Christ, I can’t even bear to think of him. How did I ever fancy him? He is so gross. I hope he gets syphilis from his next fling and that his dick falls off.’
‘I hope James gets it too.’
We smiled, despite our situations.
Babs’s phone beeped and she showed it to me. It was a text from James: Have you heard from Emma?
She replied: Yes she fine no thks 2 u!!!!
Her phone rang. It was James.
‘Answer it and put it on loudspeaker,’ I urged her, rushing over to close the bedroom door so the children wouldn’t wake up.
‘I did not have an affair!’ James sounded furious.
‘Really? Well, how the hell did those red knickers end up in your drawer?’
Go, Babs! I gave her the thumbs-up.
‘I have absolutely no idea, but I swear to you, I did not put them there. Come on, Babs, you know me. I love Emma, I love my kids and all I do is work. I haven’t got time for an affair.’
‘It doesn’t take much time for a quick shag.’
‘I have no interest in other women. I love my wife.’
My hardened heart softened a tiny bit.
‘Have you heard from Emma? She won’t answer my calls.’
‘She’s staying here with me for a few days. Give her some space. You can’t rush her on this.’
‘I swear on my children’s lives I have not been unfaithful. I’ve been racking my brains, but I just don’t see who could be doing this. I’m hiring a detective to get to the bottom of it. It’s destroying my life.’ James’s voice wobbled.
My heart melted a little more.
Babs was having none of it. ‘Oh, God, don’t start getting emotional. Where’s that stiff upper lip you Brits are born with? Come on, James, pull it t
ogether. I think a detective is a good idea. You need to prove to Emma that you’re not a cheating scumbag.’
‘Will you please talk to her for me?’
Babs smiled at me. ‘Look, I’ll tell her I think you’re innocent, but you need to get the proof.’
‘I will, thanks.’
Babs hung up. ‘Well?’
I had a lump in my throat. He had sounded so upset, so genuine, so … like the old James. My head throbbed.
Babs fished in her bag and handed me a tablet.
‘What is it?’
‘Xanax.’
‘Are you nuts? I’m not taking this.’
‘Emma, there are times in your life when prescribed medication is vital. I’ve been living on these since … well, since the baby thing.’ Babs popped one into her mouth. ‘They take the edge off.’
What the hell? Taking the edge off sounded great. I held out my hand.
34
Mum and Dad arrived the next morning. Mum hugged me tightly, then examined my face. ‘You look exhausted. We need to spruce you up.’
Babs was not happy. ‘You can’t stay. I can’t fit you all in. It’s too crowded in here already,’ she grumbled.
‘Stay here?’ Dad said, looking around the shoebox apartment. ‘You must be joking. We’re booked into a B-and-B around the corner.’
Yuri and Lara were thrilled to see their grandparents. They ran to them and wrapped their arms around their legs.
‘Come here to me, my little angels.’ Mum pulled them into a bear hug. ‘Now, I have a little treat for you.’ She pulled two Kinder eggs out of her bag.
Lara threw her arms around her grandmother. ‘I love you, Granny.’
Mum picked her up and cuddled her. ‘I’ve missed you so much,’ she said, kissing Lara’s nose.
‘What about me?’ Yuri tugged at her jumper. ‘Did you miss me?’
Mum put Lara down and bent low to Yuri. ‘Yes, I did, desperately. I’m so happy to see you.’
As the three of them sat on the couch, Dad shuffled uncomfortably beside me. With his hands buried deep in his trouser pockets, he said, ‘So, James has been … ah … uhm … that is to say … playing the field, as it were?’
‘If by that you mean sleeping with another woman, the evidence certainly makes it look that way.’
Dad shook his head, still avoiding eye contact. ‘I just don’t see it. James isn’t the type.’
I shrugged. ‘Well, apparently, he is the type. But the woman is a total nutter. She’s been stalking me and sending awful things to me at the house.’
‘Like the ah … uhm … other thing.’
Babs snorted behind me.
I no longer had any shame or anything to hide. They had all seen the vibrator and they now suspected James was a philanderer, so I decided to give Dad a full account of the parcels. ‘The vibrator, yes, and handcuffs and a whip and –’
Dad’s eyes bulged and he coughed loudly. ‘Right, yes, well … I see.’ He grabbed his newspaper and tapped the front page. ‘Have you seen this? Bloody government,’ he huffed. ‘Disgrace. More charges, more taxes – they’re bleeding us dry.’
‘Nice change of subject, Dad.’ Babs smirked.
‘Who’s bleeding?’ Lara was alarmed.
‘Everyone in Ireland,’ Dad said.
Lara’s eyes widened. I went over and placed a reassuring hand on her little head. ‘No one is actually bleeding. It’s just an expression.’
‘Don’t mind your granddad. He’s very grumpy,’ Mum told her granddaughter.
‘Why are you grumpy, Granddad?’ Yuri asked.
‘Because I cancelled his Sky Sports,’ Mum explained.
‘Sports in the sky?’ Yuri giggled.
‘Why did you do that?’ Babs asked. ‘He’s obsessed with sports.’
‘It was an unnecessary expense, and there are plenty of sports on the normal TV channels. Besides, I came in the other day and found your father watching curling.’
‘Curling hair?’ Lara was confused.
‘Is curling the one where they throw the big round stone thing and the other two players brush the ice with brooms?’ I asked.
‘Exactly,’ Mum said.
‘Ah, Dad, come on.’ Babs laughed. ‘It’s the most boring sport ever invented.’
Dad bristled. ‘It’s actually very skilful, but Philistines like you and your mother wouldn’t understand.’
‘Skill? In brushing ice?’ I grinned.
‘I want to play that,’ Lara said. ‘I’m a good brusher, aren’t I, Mummy?’
‘Yes, you are, pet,’ I agreed.
‘Maybe Granddad could train you for the 2028 Olympics,’ Babs suggested.
‘I want to be in the ’Lympics, too.’ Yuri was not going to be left out. ‘But I’m not brushing anything, no way. What can I do?’
‘Not basketball anyway,’ Dad mumbled.
I glared at him. ‘You can do anything you want,’ I told Yuri.
‘I want to be a rugby player and for Daddy to be my coach.’
‘That’s an excellent idea,’ Dad said, clearly feeling guilty about his quip.
Yuri ate some of his Kinder egg. ‘Daddy said it doesn’t matter if you’re small in rugby. He said the only thing that matters is if I’m strong, and I am. He said the bestest rugby players are the small strong ones. He said small is brilliant because you can zip around the pitch and score tries between big players’ legs.’ Yuri’s face was glowing. ‘Daddy said when I’m eight he’ll teach me rugby. My daddy is the best rugby coach in the world. Did you know that, Granddad?’
‘Of course I did,’ Dad said. ‘Your dad is a brilliant coach.’
‘Daddy says he’s proud of me all the time, but I’m super-proud of him,’ Yuri announced.
I rushed out of the room and locked myself into the bathroom. I tried to stifle my sobs in a towel. Why had James put me in this awful position? Why did he have to go and ruin everything? Yuri would be completely heartbroken if we split up. Oh, God, what was I going to do?
There was a knock on the door. ‘Emma?’ Mum called.
‘Just a second,’ I mumbled.
‘Open up. I want to talk to you.’
I opened the door. Mum came in, closed it behind her and sat on the rim of the bath. ‘What are you going to do, Emma?’
I sat down beside her. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Are you sure he was unfaithful?’
‘Ninety-nine point nine per cent. How else do you explain the texts and the stalking and the sex toys?’
‘It could have been a woman who was obsessed with him.’
‘Mum, I found knickers in his drawer.’
Mum pursed her lips. ‘That’s a bad sign, all right. Look, Emma, in a marriage you have to take the rough with the smooth.’
‘So what are you saying? I should pretend it never happened and go running back to him?’
‘I’m saying that there are two people in a marriage. If one of them strays, maybe the other needs to look at the reasons why.’
My jaw dropped. ‘Are you suggesting it’s my fault that James is sleeping with someone else?’
‘No, but you can be difficult at times, and you went to London with a bit of a puss on your face. Every time I spoke to you, you were giving out about how much James was working. I don’t think you did yourself any favours.’
I could not believe that my mother was blaming me. I felt anger rising. ‘First of all, I’ve been bloody brilliant since we moved here. I got myself a job, I found a great nanny, I set the kids up in a nice school, I made friends with my neighbours and I put the kids to bed almost every night on my own. James makes brief appearances on Sundays. I’ve encouraged him in his job but, yes, his late nights do bother me – they’d bother anyone. I’m lonely, Mum. I’m on my own a lot. It’s not easy being alone in a strange city with two small kids. Do I get any credit for that? Is there any chance that someone would say, “Well done, Emma, you’re doing your best, but your husband is an ungrateful, cheating
bastard”?’
Mum sighed. ‘There’s no need to get angry. Relationships are a work in progress. You have to put a lot of effort in and oftentimes you have to bite your tongue and put a smile on your face, even when you don’t feel like it.’
Was she serious? Mum had never in her life bitten her tongue. She had always said exactly what she thought about everything. And as for smiling when she didn’t want to? Mum had probably smiled three times since the menopause had hit her.
‘Mum, I’m a good wife and a good mother. I’m not the best, I’m not perfect, but I’m good. I do not deserve this shit in my life.’
‘There’s no need for bad language.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘I do not deserve my husband to cheat on me. I do not deserve to have sex toys sent to my house and to be stalked. I’ve done nothing wrong.’
‘Do you think the poor Africans deserve famine? Do you think the poor indigital people of Brazil deserve to have the Amazonian forest cut down?’
‘It’s “indigenous”.’
Mum wagged her finger at me. ‘Don’t try to distract me. The point is, Emma, it’s not about deserving or not deserving. It’s about life not being smooth sailing.’
‘We’re not talking about a few ripples here, Mum,’ I said. ‘It’s about a bloody great wave crashing down on me. Are you saying I should just forgive James and forget about it all?’
Mum stood up and folded a towel. ‘I think you should consider it. He is a wonderful father and those children adore him. He has been a very good husband to you, Emma. Not many men would have been so strong and loyal through all that pregnancy struggle.’
‘He wanted a baby too, Mum. I didn’t force him into it.’ I was really getting upset now. Was James allowed to walk all over me because he had been supportive through the adoption of our child?
‘Not all men would have been open to adoption. Not all men would have taken to a child the way James took to Yuri. He’s a good man, Emma. And you wouldn’t do well on your own. You need a steady man in your life. It stops you going off on your tangents.’
Mad About You Page 30
