Decadence After Dark: The Complete Collection (Dark Romance box set) : Owned, Claimed, Ruined, Lie With Me, Elicit (Decadence After Dark )

by M Never

  I huddle in the corner wanting to let it all out. The tension that has been continually building in my chest the whole night needs to be relieved and there’s only one way to do that.

  Cry.

  I don’t just cry. I sob until my body is wracked with tears and my palms are soaking wet. Until I feel like there’s nothing left of me. No energy, or buoyancy, or hope.

  “Don’t cry, shortcake.” CJ’s voice is a murmur in my ear. I jump from surprise, but he catches my upper arms to keep me in place.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, barely able to breathe.

  He spins me around to face him, looking about as horrible as I feel. His wavy hair is a wild mess, there’s three days’ worth of stubble on his face and bags under his eyes.

  “I needed to see you.”

  “How’d you get in here?” I look around.

  “I have my ways, but that’s not important. I’m sorry.”

  “What?” If he wasn’t holding me up, I’d fall over. “Sorry for what?” I ask bemused.

  “Being an irrational, dickwad prick.”

  What?! I think I just went into shock. I’m the one who hurt him and he’s apologizing to me.

  “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” I argue, repentantly. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” I can barely contain the barrage of emotion.

  “I think you’ve apologized several times already.” He skims the pad of his thumb across my cheek. I lean into his touch, allowing it to heal me.

  “Say you’ll forgive me,” he presses.

  “There isn’t anything to forgive. It was my fault. I’m the one who lied. The one who betrayed you.” My voice cracks.

  “We can move past it,” he challenges quickly.

  I’m flabbergasted at what I’m hearing. I want more than anything to get past it. Especially if that means I can be with him. But I only shake my head mournfully. “There’s no getting past it. They own me.”

  “No, they don’t.” He traps my face in his hands. “I can help you.”

  “No one can help me.”

  “I can.” He kisses me so earnestly it causes my tears to fall harder. I’ve hurt CJ enough. I don’t want to drag him down any further. I break the kiss by turning my head and subsequently breaking my heart.

  “You can’t help me. So please, just let me go.”

  “I will never let you go,” he replies vehemently, still clutching my face.

  I’m so tired of fighting that I almost give in. I almost melt into his body and beg him to save me, but I hear Philly’s voice echoing outside the stockroom. It snaps me out of my haze, making me realize all CJ and I ever had was a dream. A sweet, transient fantasy.

  “Tara?” Philly calls.

  “Go.” I push him away gently. “Just go.”

  “Tara, no.” He protests forcefully.

  “Please.” I implore, emphatically. We can’t do this, it has to end.

  “This isn’t over.” He reluctantly gives in and steps aside.

  Gravely, I know he’s right. This isn’t over. It’s just beginning.

  I WORK THE REST OF the night with CJ’s words lingering in the back of my mind.

  “I will never let you go.”

  I can hardly believe, after everything, he’s willing to forgive me. Willing to try and move past it. I touch my lips, still feeling his kiss burning against them. That impassioned, sincere embrace that held so much promise.

  I don’t deserve him one bit.

  Part of the reason I found CJ so appealing in the first place was his huge heart, free spirit, and giving nature. I tarnished those things, and yet, somehow, he’s willing to look past it.

  I smile for the first time in three days, a dangerous happiness budding inside me.

  I just hope it’s not delusive. “I can help you.”

  I really fucking pray he can. The last thing I want is to get him involved, but what other choice do I have? They really do own me, and I see no escape in sight.

  Philly ties up the last garbage bag as I wipe down the tables.

  “Can you take this out back while I close up the register?”

  I walk over and pull the can from under the server’s station.

  “Only for you,” I say lightheartedly.

  Philly grabs my hand as I go for the bag. “You seem a little better.”

  I smile at him. “I feel a little better.”

  “Wasn’t so bad getting out of your apartment then?”

  “Jury is still out,” I kid, pulling the black plastic bag out of the can. “I’ll be right back.” I scrunch my nose. I hate taking the garbage out.

  The back alley smells the same as always, cold air mixed with the sour stench of garbage. I hold my breath, hauling the bag into the dumpster. Once in, I turn to retreat back into the warmth of the café only to be stopped by a body standing directly in my way.

  “Hey, Tara.” His voice is ice cold, and his brown gaze is even colder.

  “Nino.” I step back trying not to show fear.

  He’s not here to fuck around tonight.

  He grabs my cheeks and squeezes hard, backing me up against the brick wall. “Who the fuck have you been talking to?”

  I shake my head frantically unable to speak. He pinches harder, his fingernails digging into my skin. I just keep shaking my head, clueless about what he’s talking about. Nino then gets in my face, so close I can smell the mint on his breath.

  “The cops were sniffing around the club. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that?” he accuses me. I shake my head some more unaware of anything he’s talking about.

  “I watched the security cameras. You brought some random into the back the other night. Who the fuck was he?”

  He lets go of me so I can answer. Internally, I panic. He saw me with CJ.

  “I have no idea who he was. I just thought he was another John. He knew the password. I don’t keep track of all your ‘subscribers.’”

  That’s the code word he uses.

  His eyes flash with rage. I wish I could step back, but I’m pinned against the wall. Nino has a violent side, and when he snaps, there’s no telling what he’s capable of. I know this because when we were dating, he broke a guy’s nose just for looking at me the wrong way. Or, according to him, like he wanted to fuck me. How ironic he now pimps out his ex. Over the years, he’s just gotten more unstable.

  “If I fucking find out you were talking to the pigs . . .” He pulls out a gun, and my heart instantly stops beating. “I’ll make good on my promise. I’ll kill your mother, then your father, then I’ll take a nice little vacation to Hawaii and knock off your sister and her husband, too.” He presses the barrel of the gun into my cheek. “Then . . . I will come for you.” He slides the tip across my face and into my mouth. I shake like a leaf. “Don’t fuck with me, Tara.” He unlocks the safety, and I close my eyes, terrified. Nino then pumps the barrel of the gun in and out of my mouth. “You know how good your lips look wrapped around my gun? It makes me think of how good they used to look wrapped around my cock.”

  My stomach turns at the memory. Part of the reason we didn’t work out, besides him being a little crazy, is he used to like other women’s lips wrapped around his cock, too. A committed relationship just wasn’t for him.

  “I have plans for you.” He pulls the gun away, and I nearly pass out with relief. “Don’t get in my way.” He backhands me across the face so hard I see stars and fall to the ground. “Now, be a good little whore and stay out of trouble.” He kicks me in the ribs, and I cry out. “And no more fucking free pussy. Understand me?” He smacks me once more for good measure. I taste blood in my mouth mixed with salt from my tears. I nod, as I lie on the cold concrete, shivering. What else can I do?

  “I’ll be in touch.” He goes to hit me again and I flinch. He ends up laughing at me instead. “A bitch who finally knows her place.” He kicks some gravely dust at me before he walks away.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  Once I can no
longer hear his footsteps, I attempt to move. My side is absolutely killing me, and my face is throbbing. I crawl carefully to the door, trying to not aggravate my injuries.

  Once inside, I call for Philly. The café is so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

  “Philly!” I nearly cry, trying to stand up.

  “Tara?” He turns the corner to the back and spots me on the floor.

  “What the fuck?” He rushes over to help me up. I whimper feebly as I stand. I seriously think Nino broke a rib.

  “Who did this to you?”

  “I’ll give you one guess,” I tell him as he sits me down gingerly at one of the tables.

  “Nino?”

  I nod.

  “Cocksucker.” He storms into the back room, returning a few minutes later with some ice and a clean rag.

  “He’s getting crazier by the day,” Philly mutters as he wipes the blood from my lip. “I told you to stay away from him. He’s bad news. He always has been. Hold this here.” He puts the ice bag against my side.

  I wince at the light pressure. “If I couldn’t have you, your brother seemed like the next best thing.” I make a bad joke.

  “Tara,” Philly chastises me. “That’s it. I’m going to talk to him. I’ve had enough of this shit.”

  “What are you going to do?” I laugh maniacally. “Challenge him to a fight on the playground? Winner gets to be my best friend?”

  “He’s my brother. He’ll listen to me.”

  “Nino doesn’t listen to anyone. You know that.”

  Philly and Nino are such polar opposites; it’s almost hard to believe they share the same parents. Philly is the good levelheaded son, and Nino is the disturbed troublemaker. It’s been like that for as long as I can remember.

  “I’ll figure something out,” I sigh, exhausted. “Right now, I just want to go home.”

  “I’ll take you.”

  “Thanks, Philly.” I smile weakly.

  He takes my face in his hands and tilts it up to look at him. “Sometimes, I think this is my fault. If I could just love you the way you want to be loved. If we could be together, none of this crap would have happened.”

  I grab his wrist, close to tears. “It’s not your fault. You are who you are. I love you no matter what. And I do have someone who loves me the way I want to be loved. I made my own decisions, Philly. And now, I have to deal with them.”

  He kisses my head. “You won’t have to deal with them alone.”

  “I know.” I lean against him, feeling the smallest amount of relief for the first time in I can’t remember how long.

  I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. I’m a fucking pussy who turned over just like that. What can I say? It is what it is. I won’t apologize for how I feel.

  After I had woke up hung over as hell, ass flat, still in my clothes, I did a lot of soul searching. Yes, I was angry. Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I felt betrayed. I even lost my shit there for a second. But what I discovered, above all those things, is that Tara not being a part of my life destroyed me most of all. I saw the regret in her eyes, the shame, and the humiliation. At the time, it fueled my anger. Now, it only feeds my forgiveness. Tara needs that more than anything. I’m positive of this. I often wondered what made Ellie forgive Kayne. What did she see in him after all his infractions? I know the answer now. Sincerity. Allegiance. A desire for redemption.

  Deceit is a jagged little pill to swallow. I can still feel it scratching the back of my throat. But I have always believed in second chances. Why? Regret is worse. If I walk away now, I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Tara has always been different. Tenacious, challenging, one of a kind. From the moment I met her, she was mine, even if I didn’t realize it at first. And I won’t let anyone or anything get in the way of being with her. Even if that means spilling blood.

  Tara said they owned her. I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but I’m going to find out. And when I do, I’m going to annihilate them. Wipe them right off the face of the earth without even giving it a second thought.

  They fucked with the wrong man’s girl, and now, it’s time to pay the price.

  I lean against her front door waiting. I sort of split quick after she asked me to go, so I figured she’d end up here after her shift. I’ve been waiting a while, antsy to see her. We have a lot to talk about. I need to know everything, and I need to know tonight. I hear the creak of the stairs—there’s no elevator in her building—then I see her blonde head and a young man helping her onto the landing. If I didn’t know who he was, I’d freak. But I do know. He’s her best friend.

  When she looks up into my eyes, I do freak. Her face is swollen, her lip is cut, and she’s holding her side as if she’d been punched.

  “What the fuck?” I bellow in the hallway.

  Tara looks at me pleadingly. “Please, just go inside. I’ll explain everything inside.” She opens her apartment door, and all three of us enter. I realize this is the first time I’ve seen where she lives. Her apartment is the size of a shoebox. A studio with just enough room for a bed and a small loveseat. It’s clean, though, and decorated nicely in whites and purples and greens. It feels very Tara—vibrant and warm.

  She lies down on the bed as if she’s just been through war.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened?” I ask heated.

  “Wouldn’t you like introductions first?” she responds with her eyes closed. “My mother always taught me introductions were important,” she rambles.

  I roll my eyes. “CJ Carmichael.” I put my hand out.

  “Philly De Blasio.” We shake.

  “Happy?” Philly asks her, clearly annoyed. I’m missing something.

  “Yes.” Tara shifts on her bed and winces. She’s definitely in a lot of pain. I take it upon myself to check her out, kneeling next to the bed. “Tara, I’m going to touch you. Tell me from one to ten where it hurts.”

  “Are you a doctor now?” she asks.

  “I have all kinds of special talents.” I press down on her side as I feel around.”

  “Here?” I press low.

  “Five”

  “Here?” I press high.

  “Five.”

  “Here.” I press right on her rib cage.

  “Eight!”

  “Okay. It’s not broken. A hairline fracture, maybe, but I just think it’s bruised.”

  “How can you tell?” Philly asks.

  I glance back at him. “If it were broken, she would have screamed ten.”

  I look down at my injured beauty and decide it’s time to get things in motion.

  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone with Tara. To talk.”

  I stand and face Philly.

  “Forget it. I’m not leaving her.” I can see the confliction written all over his face. He doesn’t know me from a hole in the wall, but he has no choice but to trust me. It’s the only option I’ll give him.

  “It’s fine, Philly,” Tara assures him from the bed. She sounds exhausted and looks so battered.

  He gives her a once-over, clearly concerned. He then relents, brushing past me to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m a phone call away if you need me.”

  “I know.” She smiles sweetly up at him.

  “Take care of her.” Philly turns his attention back to me. “She needs more ice and lots of rest.” He hints like I’m actually going to try something right after she had the crap kicked out of her. He doesn’t know me at all.

  “There’s no one more equipped to take care of her than I am,” I inform him resolutely.

  He nods, semi satisfied and then leaves the apartment.

  After he’s gone, I sit on the edge of the bed, just staring at Tara. Guilt doing a number on me. I was there. I could have stopped this.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” she says with her eyes closed.

  “Like what?” I question her.

  “Like you pity me.”

  “I don’t pity you. I regret not being there.”

  “C
an’t save me from everyone.” She opens her eyes and looks at me wearily.

  “I can try.” I take her hand.

  “I’m not worth it.”

  “You are most definitely worth it.” I object. “We’re going to figure this out, and then we’re going to figure us out.”

  “Us?” she repeats.

  “Yes, us. Why do you sound surprised? I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “Yes.” She sniffles. “I just thought after the other night, you were done with me.”

  “For a second, I thought I was. But I told you, I’ve let a lot of women into my bed, but none of them into my heart.” I squeeze her hand a little tighter. “I not only let you in, I let you take over. Tara, you rule me. And I’m just not prepared to walk away from that. Or us.”

  She smiles up at me, tears shining in her big blue eyes.

  “I like the idea of us.”

  “Me too. So you have to tell me everything. How you got involved in all this. Who ‘they’ are. I need to know every detail.”

  She casts her eyes down, and I know she’s hesitant to talk.

  “How is telling you all that going to help anything? I’m starting to regret getting you involved.”

  I take a deep breath, keeping a firm grip on her hand. It’s time for all my secrets to come out.

  “You weren’t the only one who was lying.”

  “What?” She sweeps a curious gaze up at me.

  “I’m not an entrepreneur.” I sigh. “Neither is Kayne or Jett. We work for an independent contractor who sort of takes the law into its own hands.”

  She blinks rapidly, trying to comprehend what I’m telling her.

  “You’re like a spy?”

  “Not exactly, but sort of. We’re . . . multifunctional.”

  “Multifunctional? What does that mean?” Her expression looks like she has brain freeze. Explaining this is always a challenge.

  “It means when there is shady shit to be done, we do it.”

  “Who’s we?”

  “The organization I work for is called Endeavor. It’s outfitted with all types of talented individuals.”

  “Like ex-special ops soldiers?”

  I smile. She’s catching on. “Yes, people exactly like that.”