Return to Emmett's Mill

by Kimberly Van Meter

  A part of her was joking, but another part had to admit that sometimes Nora was unpredictable. She wouldn’t put it past her sister to do something so rash, if only to make a point.

  Her father’s chuckle sounded dry and rusty but she welcomed the sound. He rose on stiff limbs from the old porch. “That girl has balls the size of Texas sometimes,” he said.

  “She reminds me of someone else I know,” she retorted under her breath, fatigue suddenly pulling at her eyes and forcing a yawn despite the chatter of her teeth. She followed her father into the house, glad to be out of the cold and to have accomplished her objective.

  The minute they came inside, Natalie fussed around their father, trying to put a shawl across his shoulders until he waved her away and announced he was going to bed, leaving Nora to stare after him in hard-edged annoyance and Natalie to groan over all the food she’d just prepared.

  “Tasha, can’t you talk to him? He needs to eat,” Natalie implored, ignoring Nora’s muttered comments even as she looked in the direction their father had disappeared. “I’m worried about him. He hasn’t eaten a good meal in days.”

  She sighed wearily and grabbed her coat. “Nat, I think he needs a little space. He’s dealing with a lot right now. It’s not every day your life is destroyed, you know. You can’t expect a raging appetite when everything you’ve ever known is gone.”

  “I understand how he feels…” Somehow, Tasha doubted that, but there was no point in arguing and even if there was, she didn’t have the energy. Natalie ignored Tasha’s sigh and continued, “But even so, he needs to eat.”

  “He’ll eat when he’s hungry. Just wrap everything up and leave it in the fridge,” she suggested, sliding her arm into her coat, eager to seek the solitude of her hotel room.

  Nora came into the room and eyed Tasha’s state of dress with a gathering frown. “Where are you going?”

  “Back to my hotel,” she answered.

  “I don’t think so. We have details to discuss.”

  Natalie stepped forward but Nora ignored her, her voice rising as she crossed her arms across her chest. “You’re not running out on us again when we need you the most.”

  “I’m not running out on you,” she returned brusquely, rubbing at her eyes with the flat of her palm. “I’m tired and I want to go to bed.”

  “We’re all tired, Tasha. But we need to talk about a few things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like who’s going to go through Mom’s things, who’s going to help Dad with the day-to-day stuff, you know, things like that.” Foreboding tingled at the edge of her thoughts as she waited for her sister to get to the point. “And—” she lifted her chin, as if knowing what she was about to say was going to go over like something icky in a punch bowl “—we need to decide how to split up the shifts.”

  “Shifts? What are you talking about?”

  Natalie jumped in even as she shot Nora a look that said she wasn’t happy with her delivery, clarifying, “Tasha, what Nora is trying to tell you is we need you home for a while—”

  “I can’t,” she broke in flatly. “I have to return to Belize in a few days. I have projects, people who depend on me. My team is right in the middle of creating a serviceable water-treatment system and I can’t just drop everything because—”

  “Because our mother died?” Nora finished for her, two high points of angry color flashing in her cheeks. “No, heaven forbid, that Tasha rearrange her schedule to accommodate a death in the family.” She threw up her hands and stalked into the kitchen, still ranting. “Gotta make sure some obscure village in the jungle has running water or else Tasha might lose her saintly status.”

  “What’s her problem?” Tasha queried Natalie, who was looking as if she were caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. “She’s been pissed off at me since I returned. I don’t understand what she’s so angry about.”

  Natalie took a seat on the armrest of the sofa, something she never would’ve done if their mother was still around, and sighed. “This is how she deals with her grief, I guess. She turns it into anger.”

  “Yeah. Anger against me.” Tasha exhaled loudly, then turned to her sister. “But you understand, right? Why I can’t stay? I mean, I really do have obligations.” Tasha expected a quick answer, but Natalie’s long pause made her look sharply. “What? Are you mad at me, too?”

  “A little,” she admitted, but she seemed ashamed of her admission and elucidated in a quiet voice. “I know why you wouldn’t return before…but the man who hurt you died five years ago, Tasha, and Mom needed you.” Her voice cracked a little and tears glistened as she added, “We all needed you. And now that you’re back, we need you to stay at least long enough to get Dad back on track.”

  Stay? Here? “I could lose my post,” she blurted out, hoping to appeal to Natalie’s more pragmatic side. When Natalie’s expression didn’t soften, Tasha knew she wasn’t going to back down. “What if I can’t?” she asked, knowing Natalie would understand she was talking about more than just helping out around the house. “What if it’s just too much? Being here makes it real all over again.” She lowered her voice to a painful whisper. “I ran into Diane Lewis at the store.”

  Natalie’s face softened. “What did she say?”

  “Not a lot,” she admitted. “But it was incredibly awkward and…I don’t want to go through those kinds of encounters on a daily basis.”

  “I understand.” Natalie came toward her and pulled her into a fierce hug. “But you’re not alone. We’ll be with you every step, every moment. And if anyone, including Diane Lewis, even looks cross-eyed at you, we’ll handle it. You can’t keep running. We need this. You need this,” she stressed softly, sending a sharp pang straight to Tasha’s heart. “There’s more to your past than just that one ugly moment. We’re in there, too.”

  Tasha wanted to say no, but words failed her and she nodded slowly, even though her instincts told her to board the first plane to Belize, back to the place where no one knew her secrets or wanted to know more than she was willing to share. Where no one expected her to face a past that she’d willfully buried under layers of denial, anger and grief.

  Her sisters were asking more than she could give.

  Yet, she felt her head nod. “Fine,” she whispered, turning to leave but adding a caveat for sanity’s sake. “Only until things are settled. No exceptions.”

  “It must be nice to be able to drop limitations on your family. Makes me wonder if you do the same thing to your people in the Peace Corps,” Nora said, returning to the room, her eyes hot. “I’ll bet you trip all over yourself to help out when it doesn’t involve us.”

  Tasha drew back in stricken silence, unable to breathe from the pain in her heart from Nora’s attack. But it was true. Tasha ran herself ragged when she was working, trying to dull the constant hurt she carried with her from day to day. Her mouth worked but nothing came out, words failed her. If only she had the courage to explain. Tasha was spared the effort for Natalie whirled on Nora, surprising them both.

  “Stop it! I’ve had enough of your snap judgments on a person you hardly know.”

  “Why are you taking her side?” Nora wailed. “Ever since she got here she’s been trying to skip out on us like we’ve got the goddamned plague! Why are you defending her?”

  Tasha started to say something, but Natalie stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. Natalie drew a deep breath, and when she began again, her tone softened. “She’s agreed to stay long enough to help us get things settled with Dad. Just stop treating her like she’s the enemy. She’s our sister. Try to remember that fact.”

  The glitter in Nora’s eyes betrayed the hurt she was feeling, but her expression hardened just the same. “Yeah, well somebody ought to remind her of that fact, too,” she spat, then turned and grabbed her own jacket. “Food’s put away. I’m outta here.”

  “Nora…” Tasha managed to croak her sister’s name but the rest died on her lips. Their father’s s
nores filtered down the hallway and she was glad he hadn’t witnessed their meltdown. She met Natalie’s weary look. “I don’t want to come between you two. You guys are close and I don’t want to ruin it. She has a right to be angry.”

  “I agree,” Natalie said quietly. “But she takes it to another level. That’s her way with most things, but it shouldn’t be the way she is with you. The good news is her temper usually burns out as quickly as it fires. Give it a little time. She’ll come around.”

  “I don’t know, Nat.” Tasha shook her head wearily. “I don’t think there’s enough time in the world for Nora to get over her issues with me.”

  Natalie crooked a thin smile. “Ye of little faith,” she said, adding ruefully, “Then again, you might be right.”

  Tasha’s mouth curved for a moment. “Thanks, Nat. Thanks for…everything.”

  “What are sisters for?” Natalie joked softly before checking her watch. “It’s late. I better get going and make sure Evan put Colton to bed.”

  “He’s such a sweet little boy,” Tasha murmured, watching as Natalie shrugged into her coat. “You’re lucky to have him.”

  Natalie smiled, the first bright and genuine one Tasha had seen on her sister’s face since arriving in Emmett’s Mill. They walked to the door in silence until Natalie, hand on the doorknob, stopped with a sad contemplative look. “You know, I never realized how Mom kept us all connected. She was the common thread. Now I guess it falls to you.”

  “Oh, God, Nat. Don’t set me up to fail. I think I’ve disappointed enough people to last a lifetime,” she said around the lump of fear in her throat.

  Natalie ran the back of her hand lovingly against her cheek and graced her with a sweet smile that spoke of her confidence in Tasha and said, “You won’t fail. It’s not in your nature. You’re a leader…always have been and always will be.”

  Tasha stared, struggling under the weight of her sister’s belief and her own denial, but most of all, she wasn’t sure if she wanted her sister to be right or wrong.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  JOSH MADE HIS WAY toward the local newspaper office to start a subscription. He enjoyed reading the newspaper on Sunday morning with his coffee. It gave him a sense of normalcy that he felt sadly lacking since his divorce, and, small as it was, he was clinging to it.

  The storm had broken, and although a bracing wind kept pedestrians clutching at their jackets to ward off the chill, Josh barely felt the cold. His mind was crowded with the details of reestablishing himself. Dean was good enough to offer him a job on his crew, and Josh was happy to work with his brothers again.

  They were good guys, and Dean had a son a little older than Christopher who was willing to help his younger cousin get acclimated to the new school.

  Gripping the handle, the cold burning into his palm, he pushed the door open and walked inside.

  The blond receptionist looked up at the sound of the door jingling, and when she saw who it was, a bright yet surprised smile lit her face. “Josh Halvorsen? Wow! It’s been forever since I last saw you.”

  “Patti Jenkins,” he said slowly with recognition, following with a warm smile. Patti had been one of those girls he knew peripherally, but as they hadn’t exactly traveled in the same circles in school, he hadn’t gone out of his way to really know her. But he did remember her being a nice girl. Real smart, too. “Since when’d you start working for the Tribune?” he asked, happy enough to make small talk as he handed her the cutout from an old newspaper for new subscriptions.

  “Oh, about three years ago. I was working for the bank, but then there were some layoffs so I ended up here. It’s nice enough and I get benefits. That’s all that matters.” She glanced at the paperwork. “You moving home for good?”

  “Seems that way. The city really wasn’t my scene. Too much country in this ol’ boy.”

  She gave him an appraising glance, answering cheekily, “Nothing wrong with that. Country’s fine by me. I’m one husband away from being single and I’m always looking for the next lucky Mr. Patti Jenkins.”

  He chuckled, knowing she was kidding, and was happy to play along. “Good to know.”

  Grinning, she returned to the paperwork in her hand. “It will just take a minute to get you set up, but your first issue will take about two weeks.” She waved the paperwork in annoyance. “Something about the file system. I don’t know, for some reason, even though we don’t have more than a handful of subscriptions it takes longer than molasses in winter to get it going. Though,” she added with a wink, “once you’re in the system, it’ll take an act of God to get you out. I don’t think Adeline Merriweather has paid for a subscription in nigh five years, but she gets her weekly paper as faithful as ever.” Josh laughed outright at that and she continued with a twinkle in her eye. “Well, honestly, who can take away some sweet old biddy’s weekly news? It’s just not seemly. Anyway…here you go.”

  She handed him the receipt and he tucked it into his wallet. He was in midthanks when the door jingled and he turned.

  Tasha’s expression surely mirrored his own as she shut the door behind her and offered a tentative smile to both Patti and himself. “It seems you’re everywhere in this small town,” she murmured. She peeked around him to wave at Patti. “Hi, Patti. You look great. How’ve you been?”

  “Can’t complain. You?”

  “Same.”

  “Don’t let her fool you, she’s been working for the Peace Corps for the past couple of years,” he interjected before his good sense got a hold of his mouth. She blushed at the hint of pride in his voice, and he remembered how shy she could become under the right circumstances.

  “I heard you were back in town, too,” Patti said, gesturing for him to move out of the way. He pretended to act offended but they knew it was for show. “How are you doing? I’m sorry to hear about your mom.”

  “Thank you, Patti. It’s been a tough transition, especially for Dad.”

  “I’ll bet. If my mom died my dad would probably try to climb into the grave with her,” Patti said in commiseration. “He wouldn’t know how to function without her. I don’t even think he knows how to write a check.” A sudden thought occurred to her. “Oh, goodness. I hope to God my parents go at the same time. I don’t want to have to teach my dad to balance a checkbook!”

  Tasha smiled, though Josh could tell it was plainly for Patti’s benefit. She cloaked her sadness well enough, but he knew her better than most. As if remembering herself, Patti asked, “So, what can I do for you today?”

  Tasha cleared her throat. “Well, I was wondering if I could get extra copies of my mom’s obituary,” she asked, then apologized. “I know it seems morbid, but there are some members of our extended family who would like to see it and they won’t settle for a photocopy.”

  Patti waved away her concern. “No problem. How many do you need?” Tasha indicated five and Patti disappeared into the back to retrieve them.

  She turned to Josh and he tried not to stare like a starving man, but that’s how he was starting to feel.

  “So…are you getting settled in?” she asked.

  “So far so good. We rented a small place out on Darrah. It’s not the Ritz but it’s nice enough for me and Chris.”

  “How’s your son adjusting?”

  How’d she know to ask the one question he’d like to avoid. “Not as well as I’d hoped,” he admitted, surprising himself by answering. But it felt good to talk to Tasha. He couldn’t deny it. “He’s a shy kid, likes his computers more than anything else. It’s hard for him to make friends sometimes.”

  “Natalie was like that,” she murmured.

  He nodded, remembering. “I’d forgotten how awkward she was.” He chuckled. “She was an odd bird for a while.”

  “Tell me about it.” Tasha’s light laughter followed. “I thought she’d never come out of that phase. She practically lived with her nose in a book, though in hindsight, she now owns a beautiful children’s bookstore so I suppose it was all for a reas
on.”

  “I guess I shouldn’t worry about my son and his love for computers, then, huh?”

  “He could be the next Bill Gates,” she offered. “You never know.”

  “No, you’re right. I’ll stop worrying.”

  Patti reentered the room talking. “Must’ve been a popular newsweek. You got our last saleable copies,” Patti said with a surprised shake of her head then a shrug. “Never can tell what’s going to get these people’s motor running. The weeks you think you’re going to sell out, you have extra. The week you think is going to be slow…sells out. Go figure.”

  “Thanks, Patti,” she said, handing over a crisp five dollar bill.

  “No problem.”

  Tasha pulled the copies close to her chest, and after a long pause, the corner of her mouth lifted in goodbye and she left.

  “It’s amazing. She almost looks the same as when we were in school,” Patti observed, then turned a speculative look his way. “You know, everyone thought you guys were going to end up together. The high-school sweetheart thing. Shocked the whole town when you married Carrie Porter. But, then, I guess it’s true what they say. You can’t help who you fall in love with.”

  He didn’t have a reply that wasn’t tainted with the bitterness he often felt, so he smiled and thanked her for the help and the conversation.

  Striding to his truck, he resisted the urge to look in the direction Tasha left, irritated with his desire to do so.

  He slid into the driver’s seat and started the truck. As he pulled onto the main street, he put Tasha out of his head and focused on the day ahead. Dean had a job lined up for him and he was glad for the distraction. He didn’t need Tasha in his head or his heart.

  TASHA DROVE WITH EVERY intention of returning to her parents’ place, but seeing Josh yet again had made her restless. Time had treated him kindly, unlike some of their other classmates. No male-pattern balding being hidden under a ball cap, such as the case with Tommy Reynolds, whom she’d run into yesterday while at the post office. No, Josh had gone from impishly cute to maturely handsome, and she’d have to be blind not to notice. She tried not to care. But there was something about Josh that still managed to take her breath away even when she was trying her best to stay detached.