Christopher rubbed his wrists, asking, “What happened to my friend, Paul?”
Malone stared at Christopher, his gaze only a little sympathetic as he answered, “He’s not your friend, son. According to him you were the mastermind, collecting the codes and giving them to him instead of the other way around.” Christopher’s eyes widened in shock. “Yeah, lucky for you, your friend has a prior working against him. You’re smart, no doubt about it, but it’s clear Paul was the one who cracked the code. In the future, you might want to pick better friends.” This was directed at Christopher, but Josh felt the reprimand, as well. If he’d been more observant of his son’s friends maybe this wouldn’t have happened. He was so busy ignoring anything that came out of Carrie’s mouth from pure bitterness that he’d missed something crucial.
Malone departed and they were free to leave—for now.
“Someone will be in touch within a day or two,” the woman behind the glass counter said.
Once outside, Josh turned to Tasha, looking shaken but still trying to hold it together. “That really sucked,” he said, trying for the irreverent levity Sammy wielded like an art form. Unfortunately, Josh wasn’t the joker in the family and the flat landing only accentuated the worry in his voice. Christopher walked away to stand beside the truck, his shame and embarrassment evident in his posture.
Tasha’s heart went out to the boy. She placed a hand on Josh’s shoulder, saying softly so Chris didn’t overhear, “I know you’re disappointed, but try to remember that he’s just a kid and right now he needs you. He’s scared, too.”
Josh nodded. “I know. I’m trying to keep sight of that. It’s hard, though. I can’t believe I was so blind. I should’ve seen something was up. God, I should’ve paid better attention.”
Tasha frowned. “You need to be strong. Don’t waste the energy beating yourself up for something you couldn’t control.”
Josh angled a sardonic look at her. “Good advice. But hard to follow, isn’t it?”
She sucked in a sharp breath, seeing his point. Her cheeks flared. “We’re not talking about me,” she said in a low voice. “My situation doesn’t even compare to this one. Besides you need to focus on how you’re going to get your son through this crisis. That’s all that matters.”
“I know.” Josh sighed. “Thank you for staying. I’ve never felt so…out of place. Chris is a good kid. This is the first time I’ve had to deal with that sort of thing. The last time we were at a police station was when that kid assaulted him.”
Tasha inhaled the subtle yet comforting scent that clung to his sweatshirt and nodded. It was such a natural thing to stand beside him. Sobering, she said, “You should call Carrie,” but the reminder was unnecessary. Carrie was walking toward them, her expression stiff.
“I thought you said you were going to wait for my phone call,” Josh said, irritation lacing his tone. “You’ve wasted a trip. There’s nothing that can be done right now.”
Tasha tried to move away but Josh grasped her hand and held it firmly, as if making a statement to his ex-wife. Tasha sent an unsure glance at Josh, but he was preparing for the battle ahead and she could feel him tensing.
“I changed my mind,” Carrie answered, her gaze sliding to Tasha with open hostility. “He’s my son, and even if I could only see him for a minute, I wanted him to know I’m here for him.”
“I’m fine, Mom,” Christopher said glumly, accepting a brief hug. “I have to wait a few days for my court appearance.”
“Good, that gives us a chance to hire a good lawyer. In the meantime, you’re coming home with me.”
Josh jerked. “No, he’s not.”
If it hadn’t been for Josh’s strong grip she might’ve used that as her cue to leave. Tasha wasn’t afraid of Carrie but she had enough on her plate. She didn’t relish dealing with Carrie on top of everything else.
Carrie squared her shoulders, preparing for a fight. “I should tell you that this incident has made me reevaluate your ability to care for him full-time.” Carrie’s gaze narrowed. “Obviously, being in your physical custody isn’t working out. At least when he’s with me, I know he’s not on the computer breaking the law.”
“Mom…” Christopher interjected plaintively, but she wasn’t listening, her focus was centered on Josh.
Josh’s face reddened. “You’re going a bit far, Carrie. How was I supposed to know he knew how to hack into a major company’s computer?”
“Maybe if you weren’t so busy trying to recreate the past, you’d have noticed Christopher’s unhealthy fascination,” Carrie said coolly, pointedly staring at Tasha.
“Well, you can’t take him,” Josh snapped. “He’s not allowed to leave the county until his court date.”
Tasha released Josh’s hand. “You should do this in private,” she said to Josh, moving away despite his protest.
“Thank you,” Carrie said, though her eyes were wintry. “At least one of you knows when to do the right thing.”
Tasha stopped and turned, not able to ignore that little dig at Josh’s expense when he was clearly struggling with his own guilt about the situation. “Carrie, Josh is an excellent father. This could’ve happened to anyone. Don’t use this incident to punish him. It’s not right. Deep in your heart, you know that, too,” she said, trying to appeal to Carrie’s sense of compassion.
But Carrie merely offered a smile that clearly said, Back the hell out of my business, and Tasha decided to do just that.
“Sorry, Josh,” she muttered, and left, despite wanting to set a few things straight with Carrie.
Carrie’s spiteful comment held some truth. She’d always known trying to rekindle anything substantial with Josh was a mistake, but it was hard to ignore how good it felt to be around him. In a way, she should thank Carrie for jerking her back to reality.
As she pulled out of the police station parking lot, a glance in her rearview mirror revealed Carrie and Josh arguing heatedly. She felt the damp fingers of shame trailing down her back, but she stiffened against the emotion. This wasn’t her fight. It was between Josh and Carrie. Her heart leaden inside her chest, she drove away, reminding herself it wasn’t her place to play house with Josh. Christopher was Carrie’s child—not hers.
JOSH WATCHED TASHA FADE from his peripheral vision and he cursed in the privacy of his mind while his mouth argued with Carrie.
“I didn’t know where your misplaced judgment was coming from, but now it seems perfectly clear. I will not have you replacing me with her,” Carrie said, her brown eyes hot with anger. “Anyone but her.”
“I’m not replacing you as Chris’s mother,” he assured her, but it rankled that she was drawing this line when she’d been cavalier about her involvement with Robert. He was a man Josh wholeheartedly distrusted, but he had no choice but to swallow his misgivings provided the man didn’t lay a hand on Christopher. “But who I date is none of your business,” he said quietly.
Carrie’s mouth dropped open, but the hard, uncompromising stare he sent her made her reconsider. Unable to counter with anything, she exhaled unhappily.
“Why her?” she asked, her voice small and vulnerable. “Why couldn’t it be anyone but her?”
“Because I love her,” Josh admitted, knowing his admission only poured salt on the wound. “I’m sorry.”
Carrie took a moment to compose herself, wiping at the corners of her eyes before her tears could destroy the carefully applied makeup on her eyes. She cleared her throat. “Robert knows quite a few influential people,” she started, but Josh shook his head, not liking where she was heading. “Josh, this is serious. He could see jail time for this. Robert could make a few calls and get him off with a minor slap on the wrist and then we can all forget about this embarrassing event.”
“No. Whatever he gets, he deserves. But I don’t think the judge is going to throw the book at him. I think he’ll probably get community service and probation on the condition that he keep his nose clean.”
“You’re
willing to take that chance?” Carrie asked, scandalized. When Josh nodded grimly, she shook her head. “Well, I’m not. You can pin your hopes on a lenient judge, but I’m not going to watch my son go to jail for a stupid stunt that you should’ve been on top of. This is your fault. Just remember that while you’re off playing with Natasha Simmons your only child is sitting out the rest of his teenage years in a locked-down facility surrounded by real criminals.”
Josh’s temper flared and something dangerous must’ve flashed in his blue eyes, for Carrie stiffened and turned on her heel. As she got to her car, her withering stare didn’t bode well. “My lawyer will be in touch,” she said, confirming his gut feeling.
“Of that…I have no doubt.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
TASHA SAT WITH HER SISTERS later that night, trying to stay focused on the present conversation without seeming distracted, but she must’ve been doing a lousy job because Nora called her on it.
“What’s wrong?” Nora asked, point blank.
Tempted to just share with her sisters to gain some perspective, she wavered when she caught Natalie’s sharp gaze. If she told them why she was with Josh down at the station, would that give away too much? Tasha chewed on her bottom lip. Natalie had an uncanny ability to see through her bullshit. Suddenly weary of her own secrets and knowing that somehow Natalie would find out, anyway, and quite possibly tell Nora, she leaned back in her chair and decided to spill the beans.
Starting with the impromptu trip to Wawona—and pointedly ignoring the delighted gasps from Nora—she finished with Christopher’s shocking arrest.
“Holy cow,” breathed Nora. “You really know how to spice up a day trip.”
“So, what’s going to happen to Christopher?” Natalie asked.
“I’m not sure. I hope they don’t try to make an example out of him,” Tasha answered.
“It’s the luck of the draw,” Nora said. “He could get off with a slap or they could make a huge deal out of it. I guess it all depends on how irate Zodiac is at their security breach. You know the suits aren’t always big on heart.”
“How’s Josh holding up? That’s got to be pretty upsetting knowing your son’s in such serious trouble,” Natalie said, pricking Tasha’s conscience.
“I haven’t called him since leaving the police station. It’s not really my place. Besides, it seemed he and Carrie had a lot to talk about.”
“By the sounds of it she was just attacking him,” Nora said. “From what Sammy’s told me of her, she wasn’t the most forgiving person in the world. I don’t think the Halvorsen family were crying buckets when Josh announced they were divorcing.”
“Nora, that’s not nice,” Tasha admonished. “Josh took the divorce pretty hard. He’s still trying to get through it.”
Nora shrugged. “He’s probably better off. But back to the part where you slept with him. What’s up with that?”
Natalie rolled her eyes at Nora and Tasha blushed. Perhaps she’d been too quick to share. She tried brushing past that particular detail, but it was the one Nora was most interested in. Her gray eyes were practically dancing at the prospect of details. Tasha sighed. “We have a lot of history. It just felt right…at the moment. It was pretty irresponsible, actually. God, it was irresponsible.”
She’d like to say if she could she’d take it back, but that would be a lie. Tasha would probably savor that memory for years to come, particularly when she returned to Belize and she had nothing but the mosquitoes to keep her company.
“So what does this mean?” Nora asked.
“Why does it have to mean anything?” Tasha said.
Nora looked to Natalie for reinforcements.
“I think you still have feelings for Josh and it’s okay for you to explore them,” Natalie said gently, to which Tasha felt the urge to roll her eyes. “You and Josh had something special and rare. Maybe you’re soul mates.”
“Nat, are you ovulating or something?” Tasha joked, but Nat’s comment sent a riot of goose bumps down her arm. “Don’t read too much into things. I’ll always care for Josh, but I’ve decided it’s time to go back to Belize.”
“Why?” Nora practically wailed, and Tasha could see her distress was genuine. She could imagine how disappointing it must feel to her youngest sister. She felt it, as well, but she couldn’t stay. “Why do you have to go? I don’t understand.”
Tasha knew she didn’t. Perhaps Natalie was right and it was time to tell Nora why. Only, it wasn’t just her feelings for Josh that made it impossible to stay.
“Josh and I had our chance, but it’s gone. Trying to recreate something from the past isn’t healthy and it eventually writes over the good memories you have. I don’t want to do that. You’re right, once Josh and I shared something amazing and I want to cherish those memories, not ruin them with less-than-perfect new ones.”
“So, Carrie’s not running you off, you’re running yourself off, is that what you’re saying?” Nora asked.
Tasha stiffened. “No, I’m not saying that at all.”
“Sounds like it to me.”
Natalie shot Nora an uncertain look but added, “Tasha, why exactly are you leaving, then?”
“Because there’s no place for me here. I can’t just insert myself into someone else’s family picture just because I want to. Josh needs to focus on Christopher, not me.”
“Tasha, having someone to lean on when times get tough is one of the perks of being in love. If I didn’t have Evan to be there after a hard day, I’d have lost my mind a long time ago. Did you ever consider the possibility that being together makes you both stronger?”
Tasha smiled but her heart was heavy. “When did you get so wise?” she asked, suffering through a sudden pang of loss at the knowledge she was going to leave. She’d miss her sisters.
“When did you get so stubborn?” Natalie countered, and they both grinned.
Nora snorted with an answer for them both. “Probably around the same time, because you both annoy the hell out of me.”
Laughter pushed away the melancholy that followed at the thought of saying goodbye and she focused on soaking up every moment with her sisters, determined to fill her well to overflowing so she had plenty to draw from when she was alone again.
THE NEXT MORNING TASHA stared at her laptop and contemplated e-mailing her director. It was past time, but as she opened her e-mail account, she hesitated. She couldn’t tell her director she was coming back unless she really was ready to commit. Groaning, she closed her laptop, resolving to sit down tonight and write that e-mail. At the moment, she needed to talk with Josh. It felt wrong not to check on Christopher and Josh. After the uncomfortable scene with Carrie, she’d resolved to keep her distance, but the idea of leaving Josh to deal with the situation alone smacked of cowardice.
At one time she’d been fearless. One person had destroyed that aspect of her personality. And she hadn’t been alone. At least one other person was fighting the memories, drowning them with alcohol.
Tasha drew a deep breath and swallowed against the tight feeling. She knew there was something else she had to do before she could start the slow climb back to the person she used to be. Bronson was dead, but his victims still felt his hold. That was going to stop. By God, it was going to stop.
TASHA WAITED NERVOUSLY at the Lewis house, waiting for someone to answer the door. She could only hope Chloe was still there.
Diane opened the door and Tasha fought the urge to run. “Is Chloe still here?”
Diane nodded but didn’t appear inclined to let Tasha in, saying, “She’s not feeling well. Perhaps you could visit another time.”
“I can’t, Diane. There’s something we need to talk about and I’m leaving Emmett’s Mill soon. May I please speak with her?”
A surly voice at the top of the stairs yelled for aspirin and Diane’s stiff composure gave way to distress. “Uh, it’s not a good time, Tasha….”
“How much has she been drinking?”
“Mo
re than should be humanly possible. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s turned into an alcoholic, I’m afraid, but she won’t listen to me.”
Chloe appeared at the door and her red-rimmed eyes narrowed at Tasha. “My mom said you and your boyfriend brought me home the other night. That true?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No.” The flat tone of her voice told Tasha there were probably many nights she doesn’t care to remember. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk with you.”
“What is this? An intervention from my old babysitter?” she sneered, and Diane blanched at her rudeness.
“No. I have something to tell you and I think you need to hear it.”
Subtly intrigued, Chloe pushed past her mother to step outside. “Let’s walk,” she suggested. Diane protested, her gaze darting to her neighbors’ homes, and Chloe snorted. “We’ll stay off the main road so none of your precious friends see me. Okay?”
Diane looked ashamed that her daughter had zeroed in on her fear but nodded before closing the door.
“So what’s this about? My friggin’ head feels like it’s about to explode and this bright sunlight isn’t helping.”
Tasha drew a deep breath, knowing Chloe wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries. “Listen, what I have to say is upsetting but something tells me you won’t be surprised.”
“So tell me.”
Tasha opened her mouth to just level with Chloe, but the words dried up in her throat. Her heartbeat pounded in her chest and tears sprang to her eyes.
“You okay?” Chloe asked.
“Chloe…what kind of relationship did you share with your father?”
Chloe’s gaze went from stricken to guarded. “Why?”
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