Return to Emmett's Mill

by Kimberly Van Meter

  “I’m glad Diane believed Chloe,” she said, and he winced.

  “Yeah, me, too. It’s what I should’ve done.”

  She swallowed. “You believe me now. That’s what matters.”

  “You have your mama’s heart,” he said. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’ll take it just the same.”

  She nodded. “What’s going to happen with Chloe?”

  Gerald drew a heavy sigh. “I don’t know. She’s pretty messed up from what Diane’s told me. Drugs, petty theft, some prostitution. That girl’s got a long road ahead of her.”

  “Where will they go?”

  “She didn’t say, but I suspect somewhere far from here where they can get a fresh start.”

  “I can barely fathom how Chloe must’ve coped with such an awful secret. I know how I felt, but it was probably a tenth of what she went through.”

  Gerald nodded, loathing still etched on his weathered face. “I can’t believe I let that man sit at my dinner table,” he said.

  “Did Mom ever know?” Tasha asked.

  “About what Bronson did to you?”

  She swallowed and nodded.

  “No. I never told her, but she was a smart woman. I think she pieced together the puzzle eventually. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. When she realized what must’ve happened, she stopped talking to Diane.”

  Tasha inhaled sharply. It was amazing how one person could shatter so many lives. As she gazed at her father’s face, loving every weathered detail, she wondered how a man like her father found and fell in love with someone like her mother.

  “When did you know you were in love with Mom?” she asked.

  He seemed taken aback by her question and answered slowly at first, then warmed to the memory. “She was always the prettiest thing I ever did see. Turned more than my head in her day, but she didn’t think much of me when we first met. But your mother had a gentle soul, one that knew how to calm the hothead in me. And she could dance! Boy, could she dance. When we danced, she made me feel like Fred Astaire.” His eyes shone with an inner light as he reminisced. Gaze clearing, he said, “Once I’d won her heart your mama always made me feel like I was the best in the world.”

  Tasha’s eyes watered. “That’s so sweet, Dad.”

  Gerald’s cheeks reddened a little but he nodded. “I was lucky to have a woman like your mama for as long as I did.” He gave her a long stare. “And you’re lucky to have Josh. He was a good boy and he’s turned into a fine man.”

  “You used to terrorize him when we were kids,” she teased.

  “Of course I did. But he didn’t scare easily. I like that in a person. Shows strong character. And, Tasha, I wanted you to expect the best in whomever you gave your heart to, because you’re worth it. All my girls are.”

  Tasha could only stare. She had no idea the depth of her father’s love until this moment. She also caught the magnitude of his shame for not being the man she needed him to be so many years ago.

  A long moment passed between them as Tasha digested everything her father had just told her and her own reaction to it, when he drew himself up with a deep breath and pinned her with that uncompromising stare he’d perfected when she was a teenager. “So, are you staying this time for good or are you heading back to the jungle?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  JOSH AND CHRISTOPHER WERE heading into the courthouse for Christopher’s hearing when Carrie and Robert arrived. Josh told Chris to go ahead inside and then met Carrie at the steps.

  “Where’s Tasha?” Carrie asked, her tone sarcastic. “I figured she’d be here.”

  “Only immediate family or guardians are allowed into the juvenile court proceedings.” He looked pointedly at Robert, who shrugged and indicated he’d wait in the car. “But if it weren’t for that rule, I’d have invited her.”

  Carrie’s mouth looked pinched. “I guess my feelings don’t matter anymore.”

  Josh knew she was talking from a place of hurt feelings that stemmed from their earlier years and chose to gentle his words in deference to the love they once shared. “We aren’t married anymore, Carrie. You’ve moved on and I have, too. We can go to court if you like, but Christopher is old enough to decide who he wants to live with. He’s already made his decision.”

  Carrie’s expression faltered and for a split second he almost felt bad for her. “We don’t need to fight. Chris loves you, but he’s not crazy about Robert.”

  “And he just loves Tasha, doesn’t he? Everyone does,” she added under her breath.

  “Please stop, Carrie,” he said. “You’re going to have to get over this problem you have with Tasha, because I love her and I’m not going to let her go without a fight. That’s a promise. We’re here for Christopher today. Let’s not lose sight of that. Our personal lives are simply that…personal.”

  Carrie stared. A small amount of moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes. “It’s really over between us.”

  He nodded. “It has been for a long time.”

  She swallowed. “But it was good while it lasted, right?”

  He gave her a smile. “You gave me my son. For that, I will always care for you.”

  She accepted that and gestured toward the courthouse. “We better get in there. The hearing starts in five minutes.”

  Josh agreed but had one final thing to say. “Thank you, Carrie.”

  She gave him a grudging look, but it was sincere. “If you love her, she’s the luckiest woman in the world. You’re a good man. I wish it had been different for us.”

  Josh felt a shift between them. The animosity dissipated and Josh knew they could be civil in the future. He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He had better things to do.

  Such as convince Tasha to stay and marry him.

  TASHA SAT WITH NATALIE at the bookstore, holding Colton while Natalie closed down the register for the day.

  “He’s so beautiful, Nat. You’ve really outdone yourself on this kid.”

  “Hopefully, we didn’t spend all our good genes.”

  “I don’t know, Nat…he’s pretty special,” Tasha joked, enjoying the feel of his soft body cuddled against her. She pressed a kiss to his downy head. “Look at all that blond curly hair. He must get that from Evan.”

  Natalie nodded. “Maybe our next one will have at least my hair or eyes. Sometimes it feels like I’m tucking a miniature Evan into bed each night, they’re so much alike.”

  Tasha leaned back to take a better look at Colton. “He looks like you, too. He’s got your stubborn cowlick in the front. Although, that’s a rather dubious inheritance,” she teased, then latched on to something. “Why all this talk about another one? Are you guys thinking of adding to the family?”

  Natalie paused and Tasha stared at her. “Nat? What’s going on? Are you okay? You look a little green.”

  “I didn’t want to say anything…”

  “Are you pregnant?” Tasha asked with growing excitement. Natalie nodded slowly and Tasha wanted to jump up and squeeze her tight, but Colton was asleep in her arms. “That’s fantastic! Why haven’t you said anything?” Then another thought came to her. “No wonder you’ve been so exhausted. And what were you thinking taking on so much work? For crying out loud, you should’ve said something.”

  “I know, but the timing was terrible. I found out a week before Mom died and it didn’t seem right to be celebrating when we were surrounded by so much tragedy. I’m just about three months.”

  Natalie’s eyes watered and Tasha gently laid Colton in his portable crib so she could go to her. She could imagine Natalie’s conflicted feelings and felt like a toad for being so selfish. “I wish I’d known…I would’ve been more…”

  “Helpful, considerate, less of a pain in my ass?”

  Tasha grinned. “Yeah.”

  Natalie shrugged. “Don’t worry. You had your own stuff to go through. How are you doing?”

  “I’m doing good. Dad and I had a long tal
k. You were right. I needed to talk to him about it. I didn’t realize what a difference it would make. I feel…good.”

  “I’m glad. What about Nora? Have you talked to her yet?”

  Tasha sighed. “No. But I will. She deserves to know why I’ve made the decisions I’ve made. Maybe it’ll go a little way toward mending our relationship. You know, you said she didn’t know me, but we don’t really know each other. I caught a glimpse of her at the hospital and I have to tell you, she’s a kick in the pants.”

  “You have no idea,” Natalie said dryly. “She’s also pushy, bossy and nosy, so be careful what you wish for. But she’s also loyal, generous and the best person to have in your corner.”

  “Sounds like Dad.”

  “Like peas in a pod. But I wouldn’t recommend telling her that. She’s a little testy about it.”

  “Good to know.”

  Tasha’s gaze strayed to Natalie’s belly and she noted the subtle swelling. She didn’t know how that had escaped her notice. It just went to show how self-absorbed she’d been. She’d completely missed Natalie’s pregnancy with Colton and she hated the idea of missing out on the birth of her next niece or nephew. Her father’s wisdom echoed in her mind and she wondered if her future was here instead of in Belize as she’d thought.

  As if reading her turmoil, Natalie asked, “I get the feeling you’re getting ready to return to the Peace Corps. I’d hoped you would stay, but if it’s not right for you, I can’t ask you to go against what your heart is telling you.”

  That’s just it, her heart was telling her—no, screaming—for her to stay, but she didn’t know what the right decision was. It seemed ridiculously naive to hope she and Josh could just pick up where they left off and live happily ever after. They weren’t the same people anymore.

  Natalie broke into her thoughts. “I’m the one who thinks everything through, but I learned sometimes you have to listen to your heart and not your head, because your head has baggage that your heart doesn’t carry. If you love Josh, then stay and take a chance. There’s a world of wonderful just waiting for you if you’re brave enough to take that leap.”

  “When did you become so wise?” she joked from the curtain of her gathering tears.

  “When I had to become the big sister for a while.”

  Tasha choked up and they embraced. Natalie whispered into her ear, “Come back to us, Tasha. Your home is here.”

  Was it possible to write over the bad memories with new ones? Tasha thought of her sisters and the new baby Natalie carried. She thought of her father and their new beginning. And lastly, she thought of Josh. Softening, she pulled away from Natalie and knew what she was feeling was written on her face. She wanted, she craved, a life with that man. For so long, she’d been terrified of him finding out, knowing what had happened to her, but he knew and it hadn’t scared him away. His reaction wasn’t what she’d imagined it would be. And although countless counselors had already tried to tell her, it didn’t quite sink in until this very moment. It wasn’t her fault. She’d done nothing wrong.

  But life-changing moments were frightening, even when they offered good things to come. Natalie read the fear and smiled.

  “You deserve a good life. A life with a good man. I think we both know who that man is. Don’t let life pass you by because you were too afraid to grab it.”

  Tasha nodded slowly. “I won’t.”

  “YOUNG MAN, DO YOU understand the seriousness of the charges leveled against you?”

  The judge, a forbidding older woman with sharp, dark eyes, peered at Christopher with judgment in her expression.

  “Yes, Your Honor,” Christopher answered with only the slightest wobble to his voice.

  “It distresses me to see so many young kids today with a total disregard for the property of others simply because they want to do something. It comes down to a lack of good parenting, in my opinion,” she grumbled, sending a pointed look at both his parents. Christopher was ashamed that the judge was making assumptions on his father because of his own actions. “Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

  “There’s nothing I can say that will make what I did better. I didn’t realize how serious it was, but I do now and I feel bad for the embarrassment this has caused my family.” He swallowed and looked to his mom and dad, who were watching him with soft expressions. “I promise I won’t do anything like this again.”

  The judge regarded him with a hard stare and Christopher was tempted to fidget under the assessing gaze, but he sensed she was sizing him up, and if there was one thing he’d learned from his grandfather it was that Halvorsens hold their heads up even under adversity. Finally, she dropped her focus to the paperwork before her. “I believe you. Unfortunately, you’ve broken the law and therefore there are consequences.”

  Christopher’s knees weakened and he gulped audibly as he waited for his sentence. The tension built in the room as the judge took her sweet time until Christopher was sure he might pass out from the air trapped in his lungs.

  Unexpectantly, the judge’s thin lips lifted and fell in a smile so subtle Christopher was almost unsure he’d even seen it. “Fortunately for you Zodiac Games has dropped the charges contingent on your promise to turn that genius brain of yours into something useful. Seeing as your intent was selfish rather than malicious, they see no point in throwing you in jail. You’ve been given a second chance, kid. Don’t blow it. If I see you in my courtroom again, you will not find mercy. Do you hear me?”

  “Loud and clear,” he said gratefully, still reeling from the realization he wasn’t going to jail. “Thank you. You won’t regret this.”

  “Mmm. See that I don’t.” The judge rapped the gavel. “Case closed.”

  Christopher turned to his parents and they both took turns wrapping their arms around him. A weight dropped from his shoulders, and if he could fly, he certainly would’ve shot into the sky.

  He made a promise to himself never to put his family in this kind of position again. The rewards weren’t worth the price it cost, he realized. He hoped Og had learned a similar lesson, though somehow he doubted Og would appreciate Zodiac’s leniency. Christopher also realized that his friendship with Og was over. It was a full minute before Christopher recognized cutting off ties to Og was probably a blessing. He doubted they were headed down the same path.

  “We have to go, son,” Carrie said, gesturing to Robert to wait when he motioned impatiently. “But we’re still on for next weekend, right?”

  He nodded, but he didn’t put much faith in her showing up, although he was glad she came today. “Sure, Mom.”

  She must’ve heard the lack of faith in his voice, for she drew him in another hug. “Just you and me, kid. No Robert. Wherever you want to go and whatever you want to do…provided it doesn’t involve computers.”

  He grinned. “No golf lessons?”

  “Golf? The only good thing about golf is being able to drive the cart. No golf lessons. I promise.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “No problem, son.” She looked at Josh and nodded softly as they communicated something he wasn’t privy to. He didn’t need to know, he could feel the difference between them. It was about time.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  TASHA WAS IN HER HOTEL room sitting on the bed with her laptop open when there was an urgent knock at her door. She’d only just e-mailed her director to tell him her decision and she was still a little overwhelmed, but she knew it was the right one.

  Rising, she padded to the door and peered into the peephole.

  Josh stood in the hallway, his expression unusually tense. Immediately concerned for the results of Christopher’s court hearing, she opened the door with a question ready when Josh pulled her into his arms so that he could plant a soul-searing kiss on her mouth.

  Happily drowning in the sensations of being devoured, Tasha ceased to remember that she’d had any other concerns. Slowly pulling away, Josh cradled her body as if it were the rarest treasure and looke
d deep into her eyes. “Tasha, it doesn’t make sense. It defies logic, but you’re a part of me and I can’t let you go without putting up a fight.”

  The desire he’d whipped up with the force of his kiss ebbed, but in its place was something heartier that she couldn’t put into words. Her stunned silence gave Josh the wrong impression and he started in earnest.

  “I love you, Tasha. I want what we couldn’t have the day we walked away from each other. I want to spend the rest of my life making up for that one moment. If you feel the same way, please give us a chance to find out what our future holds.” He drew her even closer until their noses almost touched, their breath mingling as one. “I want to see our child with your eyes. And I don’t want to wait another minute to have you permanently by my side. If you’re scared I’ll hold your hand. If you have bad dreams I’ll chase them away, and if you need a shoulder mine is and always has been yours. Please say yes. Make me the happiest man in the world. Say…yes.”

  Tears blinded her, but her head bobbed in a nonsensical manner that almost qualified as hysterical. It was a dream come true in a past filled with nightmares. She saw stars and felt drunk, although she hadn’t touched a drop of liquor in years. She latched on to his mouth like a woman drowning and answered between fervent kisses that took her breath away.

  “Yes! Forever yes!”

  Within that moment the last remaining timber of the wall she’d constructed around herself splintered and cracked, falling away to reveal the fast-beating heart of a woman with an incredible capacity to love and be loved.

  And Tasha wasn’t wasting another minute. She was terribly behind and they had a lot of catching up to do.

  “I want a handful of sons and an equal number of daughters, Josh Halvorsen,” she said against his mouth, pulling at his shirt and jerking at the button on his jeans. “Starting…right now!”

  They tumbled onto the bed and Tasha—nipping, kissing and savoring—showed him just how serious she was. By the satisfied grin on Josh’s face, he didn’t seem to mind one bit—which was a good thing because there was a whole lot more where that came from.