Maternal Instinct

by Caroline Anderson

  She backed off the drive and left Hugh to his chaos, retreating to her nice, peaceful apartment by the river. It was bliss. No noise, no chaos, just calm and order and tranquillity.

  And silence.

  ‘So what happened?’

  Tom shrugged. The anger was gone now, and Hugh could see the worry stamped on his son’s pale features. ‘I’d had too much to drink. I must have done something stupid to the condom—we were mucking about with it, over who—Whatever,’ he mumbled, colouring again. ‘It tore. I didn’t realise till later.’

  Hugh ignored the detail in favour of the salient facts. ‘When’s her next period due?’

  Tom shrugged and looked away. ‘How should I know? We don’t talk about it. She was going to the clinic after school to get morning-after pills, but it was shut. I thought you’d know what to do.’

  ‘You can go to A and E—or I can give her a private prescription, or you can buy them over the counter, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to have a quick health check as she’s not on the Pill. Whatever, time is of the essence, so I suggest you go and get her and bring her here now.’

  ‘Don’t tell her mother.’

  ‘I won’t,’ Hugh said, ‘but I think you should—or she should. How old is she?’ he asked as an afterthought, suddenly realising he didn’t even know the age of the girl his son was sleeping with. If she was under-age…!

  ‘She’s seventeen.’

  He felt his shoulders drop about six inches, and the tension drained out of him. Still, too many parallels.

  ‘Go and get her, Tom.’

  ‘Dad, don’t yell at her.’

  ‘I won’t. I promise. Just get her here now—and go via a supermarket and pick up a pregnancy test.’

  Tom blinked. ‘But it won’t show yet, will it?’

  ‘No, of course not—but unless this was the first time, there might be a possibility that she’s already pregnant, and there’s no way I’m giving her a prescription for a powerful hormonal contraceptive without knowing that.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Tom, just do it,’ he said shortly. ‘Don’t tell me my job—not if you want my help. Here, you’d better take some money because, knowing you, you won’t have enough. And you’d better get a twin pack, she’ll need to repeat the test in a few weeks.’

  He thrust a twenty-pound note into his son’s hand and watched him go, his heart heavy. Of all the messes…

  It took Tom over forty minutes to return with a reluctant and clearly very embarrassed Kelly, by which time Hugh had checked his facts on post-coital contraception and armed himself with a blood-pressure monitor and his private prescription pad.

  He summoned a smile and gave the nervous, embarrassed teenager a little one-armed hug. ‘It’s OK, Kelly,’ he said gently. ‘I’m not going to judge you. Heaven knows, I’m the last person to be able to do that. Just take the pregnancy test and follow the instructions, OK?’

  She nodded miserably, disappeared into the cloakroom and Hugh faced Tom squarely.

  ‘So—how are you going to make sure this doesn’t happen again?’

  Tom swallowed and shook his head. ‘I dunno—use thicker condoms?’

  ‘Or she could go on the Pill, or have an implant, get a diaphragm, or an IUCD—’

  ‘What?’

  ‘A coil. A little bit of bent wire that sits inside the uterus and makes the environment hostile to implantation.’

  Tom stared at him queasily. ‘Dad, I don’t do biology and stuff,’ he protested, but Hugh shook his head.

  ‘Oh, you do. You do this biology, or you don’t engage in sexual activity. You have a duty and a responsibility to protect Kelly from unwanted pregnancy. Knowing how to do that is part of that responsibility.’

  Tom nodded, chastened and unhappy. ‘OK.’

  ‘Go with her to the sexual health clinic at the hospital, and get this sorted out,’ he instructed, but Tom’s eyes widened in horror.

  ‘No way! What if someone recognises us?’

  ‘Then they’ll work out what you’re doing. That’s fine. If you’re old enough to do this, then you’re old enough to do it properly. That means acknowledging your relationship.’

  Kelly came back into the room, holding out a little white stick with one blue line on it. ‘That’s no, isn’t it?’ she asked uncertainly, and Hugh nodded, immeasurably relieved that it wasn’t already too late.

  ‘That’s no,’ he said, his voice almost a croak of relief. ‘Right. Kelly, do you want Tom in here?’

  ‘Do you need to examine me or anything?’ she asked, looking worried, but he shook his head.

  ‘I’ll take your blood pressure and ask you all sorts of questions, but that’s all. It’s up to you.’

  ‘He can stay.’

  ‘OK. Sit yourself down—I’ll need your arm to check your blood pressure.’

  She slid her arm out of her jumper, colouring slightly and tugging the front down to cover her bra. Poor, silly little kids, he thought, and remembered how he’d felt.

  Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by love and guilt and dread and confusion, only for them it had been too late.

  He took her blood pressure. ‘OK, that’s fine, lovely and low,’ he said, and turned away, busying himself with his notes to give her privacy to push her arm back into her sleeve.

  ‘Right, long list of questions,’ he said. ‘Do you have any clotting or circulation difficulties?’ She shook her head. ‘Or any history of stroke or heart attack in the family?’ Again she shook her head. ‘Liver or kidney disease, epilepsy, any previous reaction to levonorgestrel, which is the active ingredient in this drug?’

  She shook her head again. ‘No, nothing.’

  ‘Good. Are you on any prescriptions at the moment? Antibiotics, antifungals, anything like that?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Are you taking St John’s wort?’

  She shook her head. ‘No.’

  ‘And you’re over sixteen, this is for you and it’s less than seventy-two hours since you had unprotected sex?’

  She blushed again. ‘Less than eighteen. It was just after midnight.’

  He felt his mouth tighten. More details that he didn’t need! ‘That’s fine. It’s just that there’s a time limit. OK,’ he said, pulling the prescription pad towards him. ‘It’s a drug called Levonelle One-Step, it’s a single dose, and it may either delay or advance your period. You’ll need to do another pregnancy test if you haven’t had a period within two weeks, but you’ve got the other test in the pack. Take the pill as soon as possible, and if you vomit within three hours you have to assume you’ve lost the pill and you’ll need another dose. I also have to point out that it doesn’t give protection against sexually transmitted diseases, but if you’re getting one from my son I’d like to know why, and if he’s getting one from you I expect he would, too.’

  She blushed hotly. ‘He won’t get anything from me. I’ve only ever been with him, and he said I was his first.’

  He glanced at Tom, who shifted uncomfortably and nodded. ‘It’s only Kel,’ he agreed, and his hand slid across the table and caught her fingers, wrapping them in his hand in a comforting gesture that brought a lump to Hugh’s throat.

  He cleared it, suddenly feeling very old and alone. ‘Right—here you go. You’d better take the money and go and sort this out—and, Kelly, I’ve told Tom he’s to take you to the sexual health clinic and make some more appropriate arrangements for contraception. They can give you the best advice. You can’t rely on this, it’s a one-off. It’s a very powerful drug, and I’d hate you to think you can just use it instead of taking appropriate contraceptive action.’

  ‘Dad, we did,’ Tom protested. ‘I wouldn’t ever be that irresponsible. It was an accident.’

  ‘And it probably wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been drinking—go on, go and get it and sort yourselves out. I also think you need to talk to your mother, Kelly. I would imagine she knows anyway, as she was there last night—’

  ‘S
he wasn’t. She was away with her sister,’ Kelly admitted, looking a little shamefaced. ‘She thought I was staying with a friend.’

  Hugh rolled his eyes and sighed. ‘Kelly, tell her the truth.’

  ‘She’ll kill me!’

  ‘No, she won’t. She’s your mother. She loves you. Don’t shut her out, and don’t lie to her. She deserves better than that.’

  He watched them go, then went to find Lucy, who hopefully didn’t know this last twist in the tale. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, her television on in the background, doing her homework on her lap.

  ‘So, have you killed him?’ she asked cheerfully.

  ‘No, I haven’t killed him.’

  ‘You told him to come home and he didn’t! You would have killed me!’

  ‘No, I wouldn’t. I would have done exactly what I did with Tom—talked you to death. How was Amy?’

  ‘Great. We watched a video.’ She went on to describe it in tedious detail, but she was laughing and animated and utterly up-front, and he was delighted to hear every boring moment of the film, because it made it so obvious that she hadn’t been somewhere else, getting herself into trouble.

  And at the age of fourteen he really didn’t need her getting herself into trouble. One at a time was more than enough.

  ‘Are you OK if I go out for a bit?’ he asked, and she tipped her head on one side and studied him curiously.

  ‘With Eve?’ she asked, seeing straight through him, and he held her frank gaze with difficulty.

  ‘Why on earth would you think that? I just fancied a bit of fresh air. I thought I might go down to the river.’

  ‘Yeah, right,’ she said, grinning. ‘Go on, go and see your registrar. I’ll be fine. I’m going to bed in a minute, we didn’t get much sleep last night.’

  He kissed the top of her head, and was just leaving the room when she added, ‘She’s pretty, by the way. Nice. I can see what you see in her.’

  ‘Oh, I’m so glad you approve my choice of work colleague,’ he said drily, and ran down the stairs before she could come up with anything else. He pulled on a jumper, picked up his phone and car keys and got the car out of the garage. He didn’t really know where he was going, but he felt restless. He couldn’t contact Eve anyway, he didn’t have her number—except he did, of course, because she’d phoned him on Sunday. Heavens, was that only yesterday? So her number would be in his call register.

  He dug his phone out of his pocket, nearly dropping it in his haste, and after giving himself a stern talking-to he stuck it in the hands-free cradle, tracked her number down and then hit the call button as he pulled out of the drive and headed down the street.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ‘EVE?’

  ‘Hugh! Hi. Everything all right?’

  He chuckled. ‘Sort of, in a rather chaotic way. Look, I wondered if you were doing anything?’

  There was a second’s silence. ‘Now? Not really. I was contemplating wallowing in the bath, but I’m feeling too lazy to even do that. Why?’

  He felt his gut clench at the mental image of her in the bath and crushed it immediately. ‘We could go for a drink, if you’re not too tired.’

  Another hesitation, then she said, ‘Or you could come here. You can be my first visitor. I’ll even dig out a packet of crisps for you.’

  ‘Done.’ He got directions from her and pulled up outside her apartment block two minutes later. She was so close to him—walking distance. He hadn’t realised. He keyed in her number on the entry-phone, and she answered, buzzed to let him in and was waiting for him when he emerged from the lift.

  ‘Hi. Come in. Welcome to my little oasis.’

  It was. Calm, tranquil, all pale neutrals and soft lighting. It was a little soulless, a little too neutral and corporate, but just at the moment it was exactly what he needed, and so was Eve, dressed down for the evening in soft, faded jeans and a baggy sweatshirt.

  ‘This is nice,’ he said, smiling at her ruefully. ‘Much better than a noisy pub. Thanks.’

  ‘You’re welcome. Have a seat. Fancy a glass of wine? I’ve got some white open.’

  ‘A small one would be lovely.’

  He lowered himself into the corner of the sofa, looked out at the lights sparkling on the river and sighed, feeling the tension leave him. Well, most of it.

  ‘I owe you an apology,’ he began.

  ‘No, you don’t. It was just one of those awkward things. Want to talk about it?’ she asked, setting the glass down in front of him and plopping into the other corner of the sofa, one foot tucked under her bottom.

  ‘No,’ he said frankly, and realised she looked slightly relieved. ‘I’m just sorry you stumbled in on it.’

  ‘Me, too. It was a private family moment. It won’t go anywhere.’

  He laughed ruefully. ‘I expect all the neighbours heard anyway, so it doesn’t really matter, but thanks. I’ve sorted it out.’

  She nodded. ‘Handy having a dad in the business.’

  ‘Just so long as they don’t make a habit of it.’ He picked up his wine, sipped it, made an appreciative noise and had another sip. ‘That’s lovely.’

  ‘House-warming present from my brother. He chucked it at me as I left on Friday. I know nothing about wine except that it gives me a headache if I have too much—and that can be as little as two glasses.’

  ‘Bit of a lightweight, are we?’ he teased, and she grinned and threw a peanut at him.

  ‘Is that for me?’ he asked, fielding it and popping it in his mouth, and she pushed the bowl towards him.

  ‘Have some—or those root vegetable crisps. They’re nice.’

  ‘I like the dark red ones—the beetroot.’

  ‘I like them all. So do my hips. I have to ration myself to special occasions.’

  He felt oddly flattered. ‘Am I a special occasion?’ he asked, trying not to think about her hips, and she smiled.

  ‘It’s a house-warming party, isn’t it?’

  ‘Bit quiet.’

  ‘That’s fine. Don’t want to upset my neighbours in the first week.’

  He laughed wryly. ‘I’ve given up on that. Our neighbours are resigned to our presence now, I think, but we’ve had the odd spat. Mostly about the music.’

  ‘Ah, yes, the teenage head-banging stuff.’

  ‘Mmm,’ he agreed, and shifted slightly, turning more towards her. ‘Tell me about the professor,’ he said.

  ‘The professor?’ She looked slightly startled. ‘He’s just a dirty old man.’

  ‘I gathered. Did he try and hush you up?’

  ‘I never made any noise. I just asked him not to touch me ever again. He told me not to be so prissy. I said if he stopped the nonsense, out of respect for his friendship with my father, I wouldn’t do anything official, but if he touched me again, I would.’

  ‘And he withdrew the job offer?’

  She nodded. ‘Just like that.’

  ‘So what did your father think?’

  Her eyes clouded. ‘My father’s dead, but no doubt he would have thought it was my fault.’

  ‘Your fault?’

  She shrugged. ‘I shouldn’t have gone into a male-dominated profession.’

  ‘Medicine? Is it?’

  ‘I don’t think so, but he did—or thought it ought to be.’

  Was there a hint of bitterness there? Possibly. ‘So what did your boyfriend think?’ he asked instead.

  She tipped back her head and laughed softly, relaxing instantly. ‘Is that a subtle way of finding out if I have a boyfriend?’ she asked, and he gave her a crooked smile.

  ‘Have you?’

  ‘No. Have you got a wife?’

  He felt his smile fade. ‘No. No, I haven’t got a wife. Not anymore. She died eleven years ago of an undiagnosed ectopic pregnancy that ruptured.’

  Eve’s dismay was evident. Her soft grey eyes widened, and her mouth parted in a small sound of distress. She shook her head slightly. ‘Oh, Hugh—I’m so sorry. That must have been horrific.
’

  He shrugged. ‘It was—but it was a long time ago.’

  ‘Is that why you went into obstetrics?’

  He shook his head. ‘No. I went into obstetrics because of Tom and Lucy. Being there when they were born was so amazing, so fantastic, it was like a light switching on. Losing Jo—well, it was just coincidence that it was related to obstetrics, but I tell you what, I’m hot on ectopics now, and I make sure my staff are.’

  ‘I bet,’ Eve murmured. ‘So what happened? How was it missed?’

  ‘They thought it was appendicitis and decided to wait and see, without doing a pregnancy test, just relying on her patchy menstrual history. She ruptured and haemorrhaged, and lost consciousness. By the time they realised what was going on it was too late.’

  Her brows pulled together in a troubled frown. ‘Where were you?’

  ‘At work—in the same hospital. I was on my way over to see her again, to talk to them about it. I was only a lowly house officer, but I was worried they weren’t asking the right questions. Seems I was right to be worried, but I didn’t say so in time.’

  ‘And you blame yourself.’

  He shrugged. ‘Not entirely. I know it wasn’t my responsibility but, nevertheless, my intervention might have saved her, so, yes, I blame myself.’

  Eve said nothing, just stared down into her wine and gave him a moment to shift gears. He pulled himself together.

  ‘So. No boyfriend.’

  She laughed and looked up, her eyes gentle. ‘No boyfriend. No complications. Just a job I never thought I’d get and a boss who seems to be turning out all right after all.’

  He couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘Is that so? Despite the fact that you wanted to hit me last week when you came into the interview room and realised who I was?’

  She coloured softly. ‘Was it so obvious?’

  ‘Only to me, but I would have felt the same. Probably would have done it—punched my lights out—and I deserved it. It was mean. I apologise. And I’ll try and be a good boss in future.’

  ‘You’ll do,’ she teased. ‘Nobody’s perfect—and you haven’t groped me yet.’