One Hot December

by Tiffany Reisz

  “No, I worked on your fucking fireplace screen all day. It’s done, by the way.”

  “Oh,” he said. “Thank you?”

  “Don’t thank me. Just share the floor. Scoot over.”

  “I hurt too much to scoot.”

  Flash put her booted foot on his hip and pushed, sliding Ian two feet to the left.

  “I didn’t give you splinters, did I?” she asked as she dropped to the floor and stretched out on her back.

  “I sanded the shit out of this floor before I refinished it. It is as smooth as Al Green’s voice.”

  “That’s pretty smooth.”

  “It’s going to be very hard to fuck you if I can’t move,” Ian said with a sigh. “And I was really looking forward to fucking you.”

  “It’s okay. We can fuck later.”

  “I’m going to think about fucking you,” he said, and put one hand over his eyes. “That I can do. My brain is the only part of me that doesn’t hurt.”

  “Are you doing it?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Totally doing it. Damn, I’m good. I have excellent technique,” Ian said.

  “Just tell me when I come so I know.”

  “You’re almost there. Almost. Al...most...there... You came. Then I came immediately after. Whew.” Ian dropped his hand from his face to his chest. “Wow. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.”

  “Better. You fucked me so hard and so good I can’t move.”

  “I’m an animal.” Ian made a little growling sound and Flash laughed so hard she groaned from the muscle pain in her back. “Ready for round two?”

  “Not yet. I need more time to recover. But I admire your stamina.”

  “You know what might make us feel better?” Ian asked as he flopped onto his side not unlike a fish on land.

  “Morphine?”

  “Even better than morphine.”

  “Heroin?”

  “I was thinking more along the lines of something not incredibly dangerous and illegal.”

  “Vicodin?”

  “The hot tub. We could take off all our clothes and get into my hot tub. What do you think?”

  “I think I’d rather have the Vicodin.”

  “You really don’t like hot tubs? I thought you were kidding.”

  “They make me nervous.”

  “Why do hot tubs make you nervous? If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll wear my lifeguard whistle and you can put on some of those arm floaty things.”

  “I’m not nervous I’m going to drown. It’s just...”

  “What?”

  “It’s embarrassing.”

  Ian’s eyes widened. “Tell me the embarrassing thing right now. That is an order.”

  “I got a rash in a hot tub when I was a kid. That’s all.”

  “A rash.”

  “Yes. A butt rash.”

  “You got a butt rash from a hot tub when you were a kid. Like...a small rash?”

  “Not small.”

  “Big?”

  “Picture a pizza, Ian. That was my twelve-year-old ass.”

  “Oh, my God! That’s so disgusting. I’m never eating pizza again. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still eat your ass, but I’m not touching pizza.”

  “See? You’d be hot tub shy, too, if one turned your ass into a pizza. I couldn’t sit for a week. I had to sleep on my stomach. My poor mother had to put the ointment on me. It was a nightmare.”

  “Where did you get this hot tub butt rash?”

  “We went on vacation when I was a kid and stayed at a hotel with a hot tub.”

  “Okay, hotel hot tub was your first mistake. And your second. One mistake for each ass cheek. Those things are cesspools.”

  “Now you tell me.”

  “My hot tub is brand-new, just installed. I cleaned it myself, bleached it twice. The water is perfect. It will not give you a case of pizza butt, I swear.”

  “You’re never going to let me forget about the pizza butt thing, are you?” she asked.

  “No. Never. As long as we both shall live.”

  “Yeah, I thought so. Now you have to tell me something embarrassing.” She slowly rolled onto her side to face Ian.

  “Something embarrassing? Okay, this isn’t as embarrassing as pizza butt, but I could tell you about the time I had sex with my girlfriend and I forgot to get rid of the condom wrapper and my dad found it on the living room floor the next morning.”

  Flash winced in sympathy.

  “Oh, that’s bad. When was this? High school?”

  “This morning.”

  Her eyes went wide. “Oh, shit! What did your dad say?”

  “He gave me that dad look, you know...” Ian contorted his face into an expression of seriousness mixed with sternness with a dash of trying not to laugh. “Then he asked, ‘Anyone I know?’ which is a weird thing to say if you think about it.”

  “Did you tell him it was me?”

  “I did.”

  “Did he freak out?”

  “A little at first because he thought you were still an employee. I told him you quit.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Mostly,” Ian said, shrugging, which she was impressed he could do while lying on his side on a hardwood floor.

  “So it wasn’t all?”

  “He said he had concerns about us dating. The usual dad stuff. No big deal.”

  “What are the usual concerns?”

  “Flash, they’re no big deal.”

  “Tell me what he said.”

  “Nothing important. He has concerns you’ll be uncomfortable with the Asher family when we’re being all...” Ian put his finger on the tip of his nose and lifted it.

  “Being all important? Being all rich and important? Being all rich and important and doing important people things?”

  “Right. But still, this is Portland, not LA or New York. I wanted to remind him we’re Ashers, not Rockefellers. We’re not even Kardashians. I refrained from saying all that out loud. Barely.”

  “Your dad has a point.”

  “No, he doesn’t.”

  “He does. I will be uncomfortable. I am already uncomfortable.”

  “That’s because you’re lying on the floor. Get up. We’re going to the hot tub. If we’re going to have a serious relationship talk we’re going to do it naked and in one hundred degree water. Up.”

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yes. I’m the boss. When I say jump you say—”

  “Who?”

  “Close enough.” He rolled over into the push-up position, and with an impressive show of both grace and muscle he jumped to his feet. He reached down and held out his hand. She groaned and let him take her by the arm and drag her to her feet.

  “Can you take your clothes off or do I have to undress you, too?” he asked.

  “I can undress myself.”

  “Too bad. I’m going to do it, anyway. Arms up.”

  “I can’t move them.”

  Ian shook his head. “Pathetic.” He took her by the wrists and lifted her arms over her head. Once they were up, he grasped her sweatshirt by the bottom and yanked it up and over her head. Then he unzipped and yanked her jeans down, which was when Flash reminded him that it’s usually necessary to take off someone’s shoes before you took off that person’s jeans. He suggested in the future she invest in skirts preferably with nothing on underneath. She said she’d give that some thought, but considering he lived on top of a fucking mountain with twenty fucking inches of snow on the ground, she’d probably stick to wearing both jeans and underwear. He conceded defeat.

  Finally she stood naked—completely—in the middle of Ian’s living room.

  “You’re right,” she said, running her bare foot along the hardwood. “This floor is very smooth.”

  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sight of your nipples.”

  She looked at him through narrowed eyes.

  “Ian, stop staring at my tits and take your clothes off.”

  “I
can do both at the same time,” he said as he pulled off his long-sleeved black T-shirt and pushed his jeans to the floor. He covered his crotch with his hands.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Don’t look at it. It’s not ready yet.”

  She threw back her head and laughed. Ian pulled her to him while she was still laughing and kissed her. He had this amazing gift for making her laugh and an even more amazing gift for making her stop laughing on a dime. His kisses were nuclear. They split her open down to her atoms. She melted when he kissed her like this, melted and burned. His tongue tasted like pure heat and his lips whispered words into her mouth, words like “Yes...” and “You want this...” and yes, she did want it. She wanted it all as long as it was coming from him. Slowly he pulled back from the kiss.

  “Okay,” he whispered against her lips. “Now it’s ready.”

  “Can I look?”

  “If you can catch me.”

  “Catch you?”

  Ian darted away from her and to the door that led to the deck and the hot tub. She’d never seen a naked man run so fast. Nor had she ever heard a grown man squeal in that particular high-pitched manner when his feet hit the snow on the deck.

  Nothing to do but follow him. As soon as her bare feet hit the deck she knew why he was running and squealing.

  “Fuck!” she screamed when her toes touched snow.

  “Run, Flash, run!” Ian called to her as he jumped over the side of the hot tub and into the water.

  “It’s too cold to run.”

  “Run, anyway!”

  “I hate you!” She didn’t hate him but yelling it made her feel better. She raced and skidded across the deck to the hot tub and Ian reached out and pulled her over the side and into the water.

  She sunk immediately down into the water all the way up to her ears. With her eyes closed she simply let herself absorb the water’s heat deep into her body. One by one all her muscles relaxed.

  “Do you still hate me?” Ian asked as he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her naked body against his naked body. She twined her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck.

  “So fucking much.”

  She kissed him so he knew she didn’t mean it. She shouldn’t have worried. His cock was already hard against her stomach. She reached between their bodies and stroked it slowly, exploring every ridge and every vein and every beautiful inch of it.

  “Are you having fun down there?” he asked, a wide grin on his face. His words turned to steam as he spoke.

  “I am. You’re very hard. It’s flattering.”

  “You should be flattered. I don’t get stage-three wood in a hot tub very often.”

  “Stage-three wood? There are stages?”

  “There are stages.”

  “Tell me of these stages while I play. I’m already fascinated,” she said as she squeezed him with one hand and cupped his testicles with the other. His mouth fell open slightly and he took a quick breath. Could he be any sexier? It made her weak sometimes. She hated being weak, yet she loved being with Ian so she was either going to have to get rid of Ian or get used to feeling like this all the time.

  Ian pressed a soft kiss under her ear. Okay, maybe she could get used to it.

  “Stage one,” he said. “Flaccid.”

  “Boring.”

  “Right? But it’s the default position. We like boring in public. If the world made sense men would wear fluffy skirts for boner camouflage and women would wear pants.”

  “Women do wear pants.”

  “Someone isn’t.” He cupped her ass and pinched it.

  “What’s stage two?”

  “Yawning and stretching. You know, like you do when you wake up in the morning, but you’re not quite bright-eyed and bushy-tailed yet. That’s stage two.”

  “So stage two is when your cock is awake but it hasn’t had its coffee yet?”

  “Right.”

  “So stage three is postcoffee?”

  Ian nodded. “Three cups. Wide awake.”

  “Your cock is wide awake right now?”

  “It is ready to take on the world.”

  “Is there a stage four?”

  “Oh, yeah. Stage four is serious business. It’s caffeine and adrenaline. It’s so hopped up it can’t sit still. Stage four is usually the last couple of minutes before coming. You know that moment during a shuttle launch when all engines are firing and it’s like hovering a couple feet off the platform? That’s stage four.”

  “Is there a stage five?”

  “Coming is stage five. There is no stage six. You go immediately from stage five to stage one. Like...in seconds.”

  “I like stage three,” Flash said, running her hand up and down him again in one long stroke. “How long can you stay here?”

  “A long time with the proper amount of stimulation. But if it’s more than four hours, I have to call my doctor. That’s what the commercials say, anyway.”

  “Am I giving you the proper amount of stimulation?”

  “The perfect amount. Absolutely perfect.” He put his arms on the side of the hot tub and laid his head back. Flash half sat, half floated on his lap while she played with him, teased him, tenderly caressed him.

  “You feel really good,” she said.

  “You’re telling me.”

  “I mean, you feel good to me,” she said, holding him closer, relishing his nearness. “I wanted you for a long time. It’s nice to finally be able to have you. I had a crush on you from the day you started.”

  “You did?”

  “I did. Big-time.”

  He shook his head. “I’m stunned. From the first day?” he asked.

  “The very first day. You gave your speech to the company and took the time to talk to every one of us. And you were so handsome. Are handsome. Were handsome. You were then and still are very handsome. And sexy.”

  “I feel so stupid now,” he said. “I’m trying to figure out a time in the past year and a half when I knew you had feelings for me. I can’t. You played it way too cool.”