Honeymoon from Hell Part I

by R. L. Mathewson

  Brushing his lips against hers one last time, he leaned back with a smile simply because he couldn’t be around her and not smile. Christ, there was just something about her…

  “Right,” he said, shoving his fingers through his hair and realizing that it had been way too long since he’d had a chance to see his barber. “I’d always thought the stories were just more bullshit to screw with our heads, but as it turned out they were dead on,” he admitted on a sigh. “I should have waited a year to bring you on a honeymoon.”

  “Why a year?” she asked with a curious frown as she gently moved her feet through the water.

  “Every Bradford that waited a year to take his bride on a honeymoon has always been able to give his wife the perfect trip, but every Bradford that took his wife on their honeymoon before the year mark has always wished that he’d waited.”

  “I see,” Haley murmured thoughtfully as she gazed away from him to squint down at the water as she worried her bottom lip.

  “And what exactly do you see?” he asked, reaching over to pluck a leaf out of her tangled hair.

  “Nothing,” she said after a slight pause before adding, “Just that I don’t think that your family is cursed.”

  “Then what would you call the nightmare that we’ve been dealing with?” he asked, spotting a tiny twig in her hair and decided to pluck that out as well.

  “Bad luck,” she said with a careless shrug similar to the one that he’d always used when someone in his family mentioned one of the stories meant to screw with his head.

  He chuckled. “You call what’s happened over the last few days bad luck?”

  “Mmmhmm,” she said unconcerned as she squinted down at the pool where she was tracing lazy circles in the water with her feet.

  “And the rest of my family that suffered similar circumstances?” he asked, curious to hear how she was going to argue a fact that he was only now starting to accept.

  Instead of answering him, she asked, “Were the honeymoons planned or left to the last minute?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked with a frown.

  “Everything. Now, are you going to answer my question?” she asked, shifting her attention towards him as she gave him another one of those sweet smiles that he loved.

  “No, they weren’t planned.”

  “I see,” she murmured, somehow still managing to look thoughtful as she squinted off in the distance.

  “What exactly do you see?” he asked, shifting into a sitting position so that he could pull off his ruined sneakers and socks and toss them aside, deciding to join Haley and see if the cool water would help soothe the muscle that he’d pulled when he’d tried to dodge that vicious attack.

  “Well, it sounds to me like it was probably more of a case of poor planning and bad luck than a curse,” she explained with a shrug.

  “Bad planning, huh?” he asked as he yanked his pants up to his calf. Wincing, he carefully lowered his legs in the pool and nearly groaned with pleasure as the cool water immediately went to work on his sore muscles.

  “Mmhmm,” she murmured absently as she reached up and pulled the blanket loose from around her chest.

  “That’s your explanation for two hundred years worth of fucked up honeymoons?” he asked as he watched her pull the blanket loose and push it down, making him lick his lips hungrily. Even though he knew that none of the other neighbors had a clear view of their backyards, he still looked to make that no one else could see his beautiful wife strip naked.

  “Well,” Haley began, dragging his attention back to her as she pushed the blanket off her lap and carefully lowered herself in the pool, “if they’re anything like you, and I’m guessing that they are, then they probably went a little overboard trying to give their wives the perfect honeymoon and ended up taking on more than they could handle.”

  “That’s it?” he asked, pulling off his shirt and tossed it aside.

  “That’s it,” she easily agreed with a pleased smile as she lay back in the water and closed her eyes, sighing with pleasure.

  “And the ones that waited a year before they went on their honeymoons and ended up having a great experience?” he asked as he pulled his legs out of the water and snapped open his jeans.

  “Their wives probably planned those trips,” she replied with a mischievous smile that had him chuckling and shoving his pants off along with his boxers.

  “Is that what you think?” he asked with a grin as he tossed his clothes aside and joined her in the pool.

  “Mmmhmmm, that’s what I think,” she said, sighing with pleasure as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

  “And what would you have done differently?” he asked, licking his lips as she opened her eyes so that she could wrap her arms and legs around him.

  “Absolutely nothing.”

  Chapter 12

  “Nothing, huh?” Jason asked, sounding amused as he leaned in and kissed her.

  “Nothing,” she agreed with a moan of pleasure as he slid one hand down her back and cupped her bottom, pulling her closer to the large erection straining to get to her until it was pressing against her stomach.

  “Then how,” he paused so that he could slowly kiss his way down to her throat to find that sensitive spot that he knew drove her crazy, “would a year have made a difference?”

  “Because I would have packed my own bag,” she announced with a sigh of pleasure as his early morning whiskers teased her neck.

  “And that would have changed the course of history?” he asked huskily as the hand on her bottom shifted to the side and-

  “Oh, God,” she groaned as he slipped a finger inside her.

  “What would you have done differently?” he asked calmly as though he wasn’t currently sliding his finger deep inside her at a rhythm guaranteed to have her screaming his name and begging for more in a matter of minutes.

  “I-I would have,” she paused to lick her suddenly dry lips as her eyes slid shut and her head fell back as a moan worked its way free, “I never would have packed that nightgown.”

  He chuckled against her skin as he began moving them through the water while his finger continued sliding inside her, teasing her and making her desperate for more.

  “And that would have made all the difference, huh?” he asked as he raised her out of the water and carefully set her down on the edge of the pool, allowing his finger one last skillful thrust before he pulled his hand away.

  “I never would have tripped over the bag, leaving you to come up with new and interesting ways to entertain me while I was laid up in bed, unable to partake in the best honeymoon any man could have given me, which forced you to come up with another quick plan to salvage our honeymoon.”

  “I hate to burst your bubble, sweetheart,” he said, placing his hands on her knees and slid his hands down her thighs, gently pushing them apart so that he could stand between them, “but whether you packed that nightie or not, I was still planning a romantic night for the two of us. So, as you can see,” he said, pausing long enough so that he could duck his head and flick her nipple with his tongue, “nothing you could have done differently would have made a difference. I would have still gone through with my plans, which would have ended with the fire, being asked to leave, getting lost in the middle of nowhere and that vicious animal attack.”

  “We never would have been stuck in that room if I hadn’t tripped over my own bag, which of course meant the fire never would have destroyed our luggage, and we never would have been forced to end our honeymoon or deal with everything that’s happened since. Like I said, Jason, it was just poor planning,” she said, finishing her explanation with a shrug while she placed her hands back on the warm pavement, dropped her head back and settled in to hear the asinine argument that Jason was no doubt about to give her in defense of his curse theory.

  “Just bad planning, huh?” Jason murmured thoughtfully as she lay there, enjoying the sun for probably the last time before the weat
her turned sour and days like these were nothing more than a distant memory.

  “Mmmmhmmm, poor planning,” she murmured, soaking up the sun.

  “So, no matter what happened the last few days, it was just poor planning?” he asked, sounding thoughtful as she tried to push the past few days out of her head and focus on what remained, five uninterrupted days with Jason, a few more days of good weather and no real reason to leave their bed if they didn’t want to.

  She couldn’t think of a better way to end their honeymoon than spending the rest of it with Jason, sleeping in until noon, making love by the pool and ending their nights, naked, sated and knowing this was only the beginning.

  “So, this honeymoon wasn’t a complete disaster then?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her and pulled her back into the water where she immediately wrapped her arms and legs around him and leaned in for a kiss.

  “It’s perfect,” she assured him with a kiss that told him exactly what she had in mind for the rest of the afternoon.

  “And this curse?” he asked sounding oddly amused as he leaned back from her kiss and turned them around.

  “Is nothing more than a few old wives tales overplayed to scare future generations,” she said firmly, wondering what it would take for him to see that this whole thing had just been a series of bad mistakes, nothing more. Perhaps another bowl of buttercream frosting would do the trick, she thought with a smile as she leaned in to kiss her husband when she realized something very important.

  They weren’t alone.

  Swallowing past that suddenly large lump in her throat, she tightened her hold around Jason, for some reason hoping that the move would make this easier, and squinted over his shoulder at several khaki, pink and tan blobs.

  “What exactly am I seeing?” she whispered as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly and ducked as far as the water and Jason’s large body would allow without the risk of drowning.

  “Oh, you mean the group of people standing by the pool, openly staring at us?” he asked in an offhand tone that was really going to earn him an appointment with her fists of fury later.

  “Yes!” she seethed with embarrassment. “Them! What are they doing?”

  “Well,” he began with a bored sigh as he looked over his shoulder, “it appears that one of them is trying to take pictures with his cellphone without his wife knowing about it.”

  “David!” came the horrified gasp, confirming Jason’s suspicions and making her bury her face against his chest.

  “And the rest?” she hated to ask, but she had to know.

  “Appears that our real estate lady was wasting no time in showing both properties so that I could buy you that old house on Oak to fix up while I tried to save up enough money to build you your dream home.”

  “Oh, I see,” she said, unable to stop the pleased smile that teased her lips or kiss his chest to show him how much she loved him. He really was the sweetest man alive, she decided even as she continued to use his large body as a shield from the onlookers who for some reason were still standing there, staring at them.

  “As for the rest of them, I can only guess that one of them was probably called to tow the truck away, the police officer is probably here to fine us for abandoning the truck by the side of the road, a few of the of the neighbors who didn’t feel like waiting on the sidewalk decided to come get a closer look, a pizza delivery guy apparently decided to follow the crowd, and your grandmother is sitting in her wheelchair, thrusting her cane in the officer’s face who’d apparently made the mistake of making eye contact with her.”

  “Oh, I see,” she mumbled weakly, wondering what the odds were of her swimming to the other side of the pool and jumping out and making a mad dash across the deck to the safety of the double patio doors without being seen were.

  Definitely not good, at least not unless by some miracle a pair of glasses were to miraculously float past her, providing her with the ability to escape what was quickly becoming one of the most mortifying moments in her life without making it worse by running face first into a wall or something. Well, at least she could safely hide behind Jason until everyone got bored and moved on, she decided because she refused to acknowledge this little incident and give Jason’s asinine theory about this being some sort of-

  “Young lady, what the hell are you doing in that pool with him?” the terrifyingly familiar voice demanded, adding just enough acid to his tone at the end there that there was no mistaking who the speaker was or what he was really angry about.

  “Please tell me that my father isn’t here,” she whispered with dread as she let her legs fall free from Jason’s hips.

  “I’m afraid that I can’t do that, my little grasshopper,” Jason said, softening his words with a kiss to her temple.

  “Then what can you tell me?” she asked with a pathetic whimper even as she shifted to the side so that she could squint in the direction where she felt the murderous glare concentrated on her.

  “That your entire family finally showed up for a visit.”

  Chapter13

  “Do you want me to handle this?” his father asked from where he sat next to him on the front stoop.

  “You are not staying married to him!” they heard Haley’s father shout in response to something Grandma said.

  “No,” Jason said with a slight shake of his head as he grabbed the shirt his father held out to him and quickly pulled it on. “I’ll handle this.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, this curse is almost finished with you,” his father said, giving him a reassuring smile as Jason stood up and straightened his clothes as he did his best to ignore the audience that refused to leave.

  “There’s no curse, Dad,” he explained before adding, “Besides, if there was one, it would have ended the moment that I got Haley home.”

  “That would have only prolonged the curse, son.”

  “And you know this how?” Jason asked, seriously tempted to turn the hose on their unwanted audience.

  His father chuckled weakly as he rubbed his hands roughly down his face. “Just trust me on this one. The curse won’t end until you put an end to this nightmare.”

  “And how exactly am I supposed to do that?”

  “How dare you embarrass your father by marrying the help!” Mrs. Blaine shouted, adding her thoughts to the matter that up until now Jason had agreed to let Haley handle.

  “Claim your bride, son,” his father said, getting to his feet, “Claim your bride.”

  “You’d do anything for attention, Haley! Anything!” one of his lovely sister-in-laws cried as Jason let his father’s words sink in.

  “I can’t believe you wrecked our vacation for this!”

  “You’re so selfish, Haley!”

  “You never think about anyone besides yourself!”

  “Where are you going, Jason?” his father asked as he opened the door and headed inside.

  “To claim my wife,” he said, letting the door slam shut behind him. Other than pause long enough to shoot him looks with varying degrees of disgust, her family continued to scream at Haley, trying to talk some sense into her.

  “What the hell is wrong with you marrying someone like him?” one of her sisters demanded as she gestured towards him with a well-manicured hand. “I know that you don’t have much going for you, but that doesn’t mean that you had to settle for a loser, Haley!”

  “He’s only after your money!”

  “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you that desperate for attention that you’d be willing to settle for a loser like-Ow!” Mr. Blaine bit off with a wince of pain that only turned into a cringe when Grandma pulled her cane back and let him have it again and again, and probably would have taken another swing at her son if Jason hadn’t reached over and gently pulled the item away before she could do any serious damage.

  “Mother,” Mr. Blaine bit out, glaring down at his mother from a safe distance across the room, “this is for her own good.”

  “This isn’t your
choice,” Grandma said with a firm nod as she discretely reached over and-

  “No,” Jason said firmly, placing the cane well out of reach from Grandma and her desperate need to beat the shit out of her family with the hopes that they could talk this through, but Mr. Blaine seemed to have an agenda all his own.

  “Take the girls home, sweetheart,” Mr. Blaine said with a forced smile as his attention shifted to Jason and stayed there.

  “I really think that we should handle this as a family,” Mrs. Blaine said in a stern tone even as she gestured for her daughters to make their escape while they still could.

  As the three women filed out of the room, not a single one of them glanced at Haley to offer her their support. They simply escaped, leaving Mr. Blaine to handle something they clearly deemed beneath them.

  “Why don’t you go to your room as well?” Mr. Blaine suggested, but Haley stubbornly sat there, shaking her head.

  “No.”

  “Haley,” Jason said with a soft smile, touched that she cared so much about him that she was willing to sit there and endure more of her father’s bullshit for him, “everything will be fine. I promise.”

  “I’m not going,” she said more firmly as she looked up and met his gaze head on.

  Knowing better than to argue with his wife, and already deciding that her fucked up family wasn’t worth fighting about, he settled for sitting on the couch by his wife’s side and taking her hand in his while they waited for her father to cut to the bullshit and get this over with.

  He didn’t keep them waiting long.

  “Take this and leave my daughter alone,” Mr. Blaine said, pulling out a blank envelope and handed it to Jason.

  Keeping his gaze locked with Mr. Blaine’s, he opened the envelope and passed it to Haley, who took it into her trembling hands.

  “It’s a hundred grand,” Mr. Blaine announced when it became obvious that Haley couldn’t make out the numbers on the check.

  “I’m more than willing to double that if it means saving you from this mistake, Haley.”

  “I’m not interested in your money, Mr. Blaine,” Jason said, plucking the check out of Haley’s hands and handed it back to Mr. Blaine, who only seemed angrier as he pointedly stepped away, refusing to take the check.