Safe Word

by Teresa Mummert

Page 3

  Author: Teresa Mummert

  “Thanks, Cole. ”

  Her cheeks were puffy and pink, like she had spent the day crying. Black eyeliner left stains down her cheeks, and her fire-red hair hung wildly around her face. She didn’t look like she belonged at the oversize Victorian house.

  “Whatever. Just try to make it to school tomorrow. The teachers are talking about sending a cop over here. ” I hated myself for being a dick to her. She was clearly hurting and I wanted to ask her who had made her cry, but she would probably spit in my face and tell me to fuck off.

  “They can do that?” Her voice shook and her eyes grew wide as saucers. I ran my hand over the back of my ratty chin-length blond hair. I had scared her. Shit.

  “I don’t fucking know, Rose. I’m just giving you a heads-up. ”

  “Rose!” a voice boomed from inside of the screen door to her home.

  “I have to go. ” Her eyes glossed over with tears. “You need to leave,” she said in a panic.

  The screen door bounced off the outside wall and a man now filled the doorway. He was wearing suit pants and a white cotton undershirt.

  “Who the fuck are you?” As the words left his mouth a beer bottle left his hand and flew in our direction. I pushed Rose to the side as it bounced off my forearm and hurt like a bitch.

  “He was just bringing my work from school. ” Her voice quivered as she spoke, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and protect her from whomever the fuck this asshole was.

  The man stepped off the porch and rushed toward us. His body was covered with sweat and reeked of booze. His fingers wrapped around Rose’s arm and she squealed in pain as he jerked her back against him. His cold stare burned into me. Was he…jealous that I was talking to her?

  “Get the fuck off my property before I bury you both in the fucking yard. ”

  My eyes fell to Rose who mouthed the word “go. ” I took a few steps back before mumbling “fuck off” under my breath and slipped into the alley. I wanted to do something to help her, but at sixteen years old I couldn’t even save my own mother from what my father subjected her to. I wasn’t even sure what I had just witnessed.

  I didn’t see Rose again for two days. When she returned to school she looked pale, like the life had literally been sucked out of her. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on, but she told me to mind my own damn business. I wasn’t one of the popular kids so our paths only crossed during a few classes. I would watch her smiling and laughing with friends as if the incident at her house had never happened. I was beginning to think I had made the entire thing up — until gym class. As everyone milled around the large cavernous room waiting for some sort of direction, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into the gym teacher’s office.

  “Rose, what the hell are you doing?"

  She smiled and pushed my shoulders against the cinder-block wall behind me. Her lips fell on mine, soft and inexperienced. I tangled my fingers in her wild hair and held her lips to mine as I deepened our kiss. By the time she pulled back we were both struggling to catch our breath.

  “I wanted to say thank you. My mom is always marrying these douche bags who think they can just do…whatever. ” She looked down at the floor between us. I raised my hand, tipping her chin up with my fingers to meet her gaze. The pain in her eyes killed me.

  “Tell me if he hurts you again. I’ll kick his ass myself. ” I swore in that moment I would protect her.

  She laughed, and I knew she thought I was just saying what any boy would say when he wanted to make out with the most popular girl in school.

  “I’m serious, Rose. I’ll fucking kill him if he touches you again. ” She sucked her lower lip in between her teeth and nodded.

  I tucked her crimson hair behind her ear and leaned in to press my lips against hers again.

  We snuck off like this nearly every day, and I was beginning to believe that one day we would walk hand in hand down the hall together, maybe even down the aisle. She was beautiful and smart but, most of all, she was real. She wasn’t this cookie-cutter teenager that fit in with the popular crowd. She was broken like I was, and I wanted us to fix each other.

  It wasn’t until three months later that her mom went out of town again and Rose quit coming to school. I gathered up some worksheets from all the teachers and set off to her house to find out what was going on. I couldn’t stand a day going by without being able to hold her.

  I could hear noises coming from inside the home as I approached. A television blared in the background. A rain cloud with large blue drops, drawn in chalk, covered the sidewalk in front of her house. I knew this was the sign to stay away, but I couldn’t just leave knowing she was hurting. We had been using this warning system for weeks. I hurried alongside her house toward the yard. I dropped the stack of papers on her back porch and made my way around to one of the windows. My mind raced. The living room was empty, and the light from the television bounced off the walls. Dirty clothes and beer bottles littered the floor. I continued around the house until I heard muffled crying. I glanced in Rose’s window. It was dark and I could only make out shadows, but I knew he was in there with her.

  I ran around the house and up onto the back porch. Taking a deep breath, I pulled open the screen door, stopping as it squeaked on its hinges. The house grew quiet, and I forced myself to hold perfectly still until I was sure no one was coming after me.

  I navigated the narrow hallway until I could hear Rose again. I reached down and picked up a beer bottle, gripping the neck in my hand as I slowly pushed the door open. I could only see his back as he struggled to pin Rose down on her bed and she fought against him. I rushed inside with my arm thrown back and swung with everything I had. As the glass connected with her stepfather’s head, it made an awful clunking noise but did not shatter like I had anticipated.

  Rose screamed as he fell on top of her, pinning her down. I shoved him, grabbing him by his greasy hair and sliding him off her body.

  “Come on!” I held out my hand that was now slicked with blood from the oozing wound on her stepfather’s head. She looked down at my fingers in disgust. “It will wash off, Rose. Let’s go. ”

  She hesitated a moment before slipping her fingers in mine. I pulled her from the bed and practically dragged her from the home. We ran for several blocks before we stopped to catch our breath. I found a hose spigot at the back of the house and rinsed the blood from my hands. It was only then that I took a moment to look over what he had done to her. Her ripped shirt hung off her left shoulder. Her feet were bare, and she had purpling bruises lining her legs.

  “I can’t…I have to go back. ” She panted, her hands on her knees as she hunched over, trying to regain her composure.

  “You can’t go back there, Rose. You can’t ever go back. ”

  “Where am I going to go, Cole? I don’t have anywhere else. If I don’t go back it will only be twice as bad when he finds me. ” Tears rolled over her cheeks, dripping from her chin to the ground below.

  “Then we won’t let him find you. We can just run away. ”

  She laughed sardonically as she wiped the tears with the back of her hand.

  “We can’t run away. They would find us. He always finds me. ”

  “We can change our names. What’s that saying, a rose by any other name?”

  “I’d still be Rose. ”

  I stepped toward her. She eyed me cautiously but didn’t back away. I reached up and pushed a fire-red curl back from her face to reveal a large bruise that was setting in on her cheekbone.

  “You’d still be you, but you would be safe. ”

  “I’m never going to be safe, Cole. ”

  “Pick a place. Anywhere in the world and I will take you there. ”

  “California. ” She smiled sadly as she entertained the idea.

  “Why California?” I tried my best to smile.

  “I want to see
the stars. ” She smiled grimly.

  “Then that’s where you’ll go. ” I took her hand and began pulling her along toward my house. I didn’t know why I thought taking her there would help. I hoped that if my mother saw what was happening to someone else, she would finally do something about our situation. Maybe we could all three run away together and start new lives. That dream was short lived; when we turned the corner to my apartment, there was already a squad car sitting out front.

  “How did they know?” I asked as I stood in front of Rose, looking around the corner from the alley. I’d have to think of another plan.

  “You’d be surprised how many friends you have when you’ve got money. That dirty old creeper plays golf with the police chief. ”

  “Mr. Bishop?” the female officer called, and Rose gripped my hand painfully tight.

  “It’s okay, Rose. They’re going to help you. We just need to tell them the truth. ” I slowly stepped out into the open and pulled Rose along with me. This wouldn’t get me away from home but as long as Rose was safe, I could sleep a little more peacefully.

  “We have a complaint from Craig Mitchel saying you assaulted him and ran away with his daughter. ”

  “He’s not my dad,” Rose said angrily under her breath.

  “He’s very worried about you getting mixed up with a bad crowd, young lady. He said he wouldn’t press charges as long as you came back home. ”

  “How did you find me?” Tears swam in her eyes.

  “Mr. Bishop left his homework on your back porch. ”

  “I’m so sorry, Rose. ”

  “No. It’s okay. I should go back home. ” Rose stepped out from behind me and I squeezed her hand, not wanting to let her go. She forced a smile, and I knew it was for my benefit. She felt trapped.

  “No. You can’t go back there. Tell her what he did to you,” I begged.

  “It’s okay. He will sleep it off. When he’s sober he isn’t so bad. ” She leaned forward, wrapping her frail arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. Her face was buried in the crook of my neck as she whispered, “Tomorrow night at midnight. If I can’t get away I will draw raindrops on the sidewalk in chalk. When you see a sun, come and get me. Just like the other times. I promise. We will see the stars together, I promise. ”

  I never saw Rose again. I showed up at her house the next night, just as she had asked, but it had been cleared out. They’d moved while I was in school, with no forwarding address.

  “You disappeared. I had no idea what had happened to you. ” It was like looking into the eyes of a ghost. I had long convinced myself that she had died or moved out to California without me.

  “No one did. ”

  “I thought he had…” I couldn’t even finish the disgusting thought that used to plague my nightmares. Rose was the only person who had ever had an idea of how bad things really were at my house, and I kept her secrets from the world.

  “Here I am. ”

  “Fuck, Rose…” Her skin was darker and her features now those of a woman, but I could see the same scared little girl I had fallen for all those years ago.

  “Lily. It’s Lily now. ”

  “Lily…” My eyes searched hers as I thought of my promise to her all those years ago, to keep her safe. Now just being here with me was going to get her hurt or worse. “I never thought I would see you again. ”

  “Of all the bars in New York, you had to walk into mine…” She laughed sadly as she looked down at her fingers. I grabbed her wrist, wrapping my fingers around it. Her pulse raced against the pad of my thumb.

  “This isn’t a joke. ” I was over the initial shock of facing her, and now anger boiled inside of me as I thought of all the years that had passed without so much as a phone call from her. She had destroyed who I was. I had struggled to be a better person than my father and Rose had brought out that side of me, but when she was ripped from my life, all hope for me had been lost.