X in Flight

by Karen Rivers

  You hear later that she lost the baby. The baby that no one knew about except you. You hear that Cat switched schools, she won’t go back to this one even when it’s rebuilt. You hear that she’s pressing sexual harassment charges against Mr. B. It’s all too much, you think, but then you realize that it isn’t. It’s over, and you survived. You feel better than you’ve ever felt. It’s weird, but it’s true.

  You don’t know who to tell about that, so you call X. You tell him that.

  And he says, I have something for you to read.

  THE XYZ TRILOGY

  by Karen Rivers

  Don’t miss the next amazing title in the XYZ Trilogy...

  Y in the Shadows

  My whole life seems different now. It's as though every key on the piano is being played at once. It's awful. It's both awful and incredible, if I'm being honest. It's easier to just think of it as awful, but it has a good side, too. I'm mesmerized by it, even though I also want it to stop.

  This thing.

  I was confused when I woke up in the hospital. I just thought that was normal. Everyone is confused when they come around after being unconscious, right? Only it didn't pass...

  I opened my eyes and I was in a room painted the colour of powdered lemonade, and all that stuff about" too bright" was too true…

  I wasn’t alone for long before the curtain shifted and Maman appeared in her chair. Something was different, though. She was different. At first, I didn’t realize what I was seeing: a brightness around her so saturated it was like watching a colourful glass tile mosaic being thrown through the air, in slow motion. She was thinking blurrily and I automatically read it, interpreted it: My baby, my baby girl, ma jeune fille. She was thinking, Thank God for this, that she’s okay. I’ll never ask for anything again.

  Oh no, I thought. No no no.

  But that thought was interrupted by a nurse bustling in, blood pressure cuff in hand, chirping happily, How are we feeling? While thinking, Two more and I can go home. If that pig hasn’t eaten the whole pizza maybe I’ll have some of that and take a bath. Maybe I’ll eat it in the bath, have a glass of wine, paint my toenails. I never paint my nails any more. I wonder when I stopped. Her sadness drifted around her like a mermaid’s hair underwater, even while the whole time she smiled at me with artificially bright white teeth.

  How could I be seeing that?

  I both was and wasn’t. It was different than with Axel, where it was all crystal clear and obvious. This was like seeing someone’s thoughts through a fog, through glass covered with a film of steam. I couldn’t help squinting through the blur. It was like I had to see it, a compulsion, I couldn’t stop it…

  I tried to think about songs. My song. I kept my eyes glued shut and repeated some lyrics over and over again in my head. My own lyrics. Absolutely, I repeated. Absolutely feeling like I absolutely know. Absolutely everything and still I absolutely go.

  The words felt wrong, though. I felt like I was thinking in someone else’s language. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I must be dying. Because somehow it felt almost celestial, to see everything. It felt surreal to be so disconnected from myself.

  And it also felt like the worst thing in the world. It was so much. Too much…

  ****

  Author’s Note

  Did you know that when the term “hero” was coined, it referred only to men? Craxy, don't you think? Now that’s all changed. Everyone can be a hero. Everyone. And at the risk of sounding like a PSA, this includes you. And me. And that obnoxious kid who sits next to you in Biology. Heroism isn’t just something for rich people to do or for people with a lot of spare time or for celebrities or for people who randomly discover that they can fly. It’s for all of us. And if every single person performs one small yet heroic task, think how much better things will be.

  Being a hero is the one thing you’ll do in your life that you’ll never regret. And it’s never too late or too early to do something that can change someone else’s life. It’s so easy! It’s so ridiculously easy! I’m not saying you have to save kittens from burning buildings or anything like that. Just get a bit involved or even give an hour or two of your time. Donate some blood. Be and organ donor. Support a charity. Or give a hand to someone who looks like they need it.

  There’s so much going on in the world right now that picking a cause can be overwhelming. Just pick something and go for it. I’ll have some links to some great charities and causes posted on my website, karenrivers.com.

  Life is full of choices; you can choose to be someone extraordinary for someone else. And I hope that you will.

  Thanks for listening.

  About the Author

  Karen Rivers has published nine previous young adult and juvenile books, including Surviving Sam, which was shortlisted for the 2004 White Pine Award, and the Haley Andromeda trilogy (The Healing Time of Hickeys, The Cure for Crushes, The Quirky Girls’ Guide to Rest Stops and Road Trips). The Healing Time of Hickeys was shortlisted for the 2003 Canadian Library Association’s “Young Adult Book of the Year” award, is a Children’s Book Centre “Our Choice” selection and was a featured title for Barnes & Noble and Amazon.ca.

  Karen lives in Victoria, British Columbia.

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