Classroom Demons

by Unknown

  Dante picked something up from his desk.

  ‘This,’ he said, ‘is a blackboard rubber.’

  Alex looked down at Dante’s hand. He was holding a dusty‐looking lump of wood with a soft felt bottom.

  ‘I use it for rubbing out mistakes, Cloud.’

  Alex just stood there, unmoving.

  ‘Are you a mistake, Cloud?’

  Alex didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Well? Are you? Do I need to erase you too?’

  Alex opened his mouth to say No, I’m not a mistake, I’m Alex, and you can’t rub me out, but Dante didn’t give him the chance.

  Dante took the blackboard rubber and rubbed it up and down Alex’s face, sending a cloud of chalk dust all over him.

  Alex coughed and spat.

  ‘He looks like a dead person!’ shouted someone from the back of the class. Jackson, by the sound of it. Everyone except Big House, Inchy, Cherry and Spit laughed.

  ‘Has that jogged your memory?’ asked Dante. ‘Or has everything we learned last week simply fallen from your head and on to the carpet?’

  Alex rubbed his eyes, no answers in his brain.

  The blackboard eraser was once again rubbed up and down his face.

  ‘What’s he got against Alex?’ whispered Cherry to Inchy.

  ‘Who knows.’

  Alex looked at Dante, his face now nothing more than a white mask of chalk.

  ‘It seems that the cat has got your tongue, Cloud.’

  Alex couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t a swear word. He looked at his friends and knew none of them could help; he was completely alone.

  The rest of the class just kept laughing.

  Alex closed his eyes as Dante spoke again.

  ‘It seems, Cloud, that you are indeed a mistake.’

  Alex felt the blackboard rubber push into his face again. Up and down it rubbed, until he was little more than an image of a boy hidden from sight by a dusty cloud.

  When Alex opened his eyes, Dante was leaning down, his eyes almost level with Alex’s. His breath smelt like damp wood after a bonfire.

  ‘This world is full of mistakes, Cloud,’ he muttered, ‘and they all need erasing, one by one.’

  Dante’s eyes caught the light and glinted.

  ‘Back to your seat.’

  Alex turned from Dante and made his way across the classroom, back to his chair. He could feel the rest of the class staring at him, laughing at him, glad it hadn’t been them and hoping it never would be.

  ‘You OK?’ asked House.

  Alex looked at him.

  ‘Didn’t think so.’

  When the lesson finally came to an end and the bell rang, Alex was the first out of the door, quickly followed by his friends. Like Dante’s classroom, the rest of the school seemed to be hotter than ever before. Above them, the pipes were bubbling and wheezing and rattling.

  It took a few minutes for the gang to catch up with Alex, by which time he was already outside the school gates and heading home.

  ‘Alex!’ called Cherry, jogging up to him. ‘Alex! Stop!’

  Reluctantly, Alex turned to wait for the others.

  ‘Look,’ said Cherry, ‘we just have to get through this, OK? Gabriel can’t leave us down here forever, can he?’

  ‘Easy for you to say,’ said Alex. ‘I mean, look at me!’

  ‘It’s just chalk,’ observed Spit.

  ‘But why’s it me he’s always getting at? What’s his problem? Why doesn’t he pick on anyone else? What’ve I done?’

  They walked on in silence for a few moments.

  ‘You know what?’ said Alex, finally. ‘I reckon Gabriel’s put him up to it. Yeah, that’s what’s happened; Gabriel’s had a word with Dante and told him to make my life Hell.’

  ‘Gabriel wouldn’t do that,’ said Inchy. ‘Angels aren’t allowed to speak to humans unless they’re told to, and that’s only when something really, really good is about to happen.’

  ‘Or something really, really bad,’ added Spit.

  At the front door, the gang were greeted by Tabbris.

  ‘And what happened to you?’

  ‘I got bored of my normal uniform and figured I’d go to school as a ghost.’

  Tabbris sniffed.

  ‘Disgraceful. In my day, if anyone from Special Operations turned up on parade with their uniform in that state, they would have been court‐martialled on the spot.’

  ‘Lucky I’m not in Special Operations, then, isn’t it?’

  ‘Less of your cheek, you impertinent pup!’ snapped Tabbris. ‘You don’t seem to realize that none of you will be going back to Heaven until I report to Gabriel that you’ve learned your lesson. And that certainly won’t happen until you can show some respect for your elders.’

  Alex groaned inwardly.

  ‘Now, there are some things in your room for you. They were delivered earlier today. Tea at six o’clock sharp, as usual.’

  Tabbris turned and stalked off without another word.

  ‘Always so friendly,’ muttered House.

  ‘“Things”?’ exclaimed Alex, looking confused. ‘What’s he on about?’

  Spit was first into the room.

  ‘It’s just trunks. Our school trunks from Cloud Nine. Boring.’

  ‘On the contrary!’ said Alex. ‘It’s fantastic!’

  He pulled open his trunk and started rifling through the contents, slinging pants and T‐shirts in all directions.

  ‘But that’s just your clothes,’ said Cherry. ‘What’s so exciting?’

  ‘This,’ replied Alex, pointing.

  ‘It’s the bottom of your trunk,’ said Spit. ‘Thrilling.’

  ‘Well, it is, actually,’ laughed Alex. ‘Watch!’

  He reached in and pressed one of the corners. With a click, the whole bottom of the trunk came loose, revealing a hidden compartment.

  The gang were stunned.

  ‘I always keep a load of stuff hidden here for use in an emergency.’

  ‘I’m assuming Gabriel doesn’t know anything about this?’ asked Inchy.

  ‘You’d better believe he doesn’t!’ crowed Alex, as he reached into the trunk. When he stood up again, there was something in his arms.

  ‘I don’t believe it,’ said Cherry. ‘It can’t be…’

  The others just stared.

  ‘It’s my back‐up bow and arrows! I thought I’d lost them months ago. You mean to say you’ve been hiding them the whole time?’

  ‘For use in an emergency – I’d say this qualifies!’

  Alex reached in again and handed something to Inchy.

  ‘It’s my Scales of Justice!’ he yelled. ‘Cool or what?’

  The scales were a simple length of brass with a small golden bowl hanging from a chain at each end. In the middle of the brass beam was a pivot that allowed the scales to tip left or right.

  ‘That’s all we need,’ grumbled Spit. ‘You weighing up everything we say or do.’

  Alex’s voice cut in: ‘Oh yes!’

  The gang turned to see what he was holding.

  ‘My Lucky Dip! Brilliant!’

  The Lucky Dip was a red cloth bag filled with all sorts of bits and bobs that Alex had managed to pick up here and there. Whenever he had used it in the past, the Lucky Dip had proved to be incredibly unlucky for an assortment of unsuspecting angelic teachers whom Alex had happened to fall out with.

  Alex handed a large book to House.

  ‘What’s that?’ asked Inchy.

  ‘A book,’ said House secretively.

  ‘Yes, but what’s it about?’

  ‘Oh, right… yeah… well, it’s the Guardian Angel training manual. It’s like the ultimate guide to being one. It’s got loads about training and secret moves and stuff. It’s awesome.’

  ‘Well, I doubt there’s anything in there for me, is there?’ said Spit. ‘It’s not like I have silly trinkets to carry around with me.’

  ‘That’s why I threw this in for you,’ sai
d Alex, handing Spit a large box. ‘It’s your favourite, I think.’

  The box was filled with chocolate. And lots of it.

  Alex looked around at the gang with pride. Everyone was obviously thrilled with what he’d produced from the trunk. Not such a lousy leader now, was he? For the first time since he’d got them into this mess, Alex felt a bit less guilty.

  He looked again at the Lucky Dip.

  ‘Oh, Mr Dante – now the odds are evened!’

  6

  True Colours

  ‘I know Mr Dante doesn’t like you,’ House complained, rubbing his head, ‘but I don’t see why he has to throw textbooks at me.’

  It was Wednesday, and the gang had just endured geography again. Dante had proved to be just as horrible the third time around, humiliating Cherry when she couldn’t name five cities in Outer Mongolia, and giving Spit a detention for his answer that the most dangerous animal in China was the ladybird.

  ‘He’s got it in for all of us,’ Alex replied as the gang trailed down the hot stuffy corridor behind House’s large and ungainly frame. ‘He’s as bad as Gabriel. I mean, what’s the point of being a teacher if you hate kids?’

  ‘What’s the point of being a teacher, full stop?’ shot back Spit, flicking a sweaty lock of dark hair out of his eyes.

  There was silence as the gang mulled this difficult question over.

  At the back of the group, Cherry sighed. She always pretended that she was above the boys’ bickering, though she was just as likely to get into an argument as any of them. She shifted the quiver on her back. It was a pretty unusual‐looking school bag, but no one had asked any awkward questions yet. Spit glanced back at her and grinned slyly.

  ‘You can sort this out, can’t you, Cherry? Just fire one of those Love Arrows at Dante, and he and Alex’ll make up in no time.’

  The Cherub glared at him.

  ‘If you don’t watch it, I’ll make you fall in love with the next dog that walks past. We’ll see how funny you are then.’

  The gang crashed through a set of double doors and out into the playground. After the hot dingy corridors, it was good to be out in the fresh air. All around them gaggles of children were standing about, chatting and gossiping. The air rang with shouts of laughter. A football bounced over from a game taking place on the other side of the playground and landed at House’s feet. One of the footballers waved at him to pass it back. House lined up a swing. The gang dived out of the way.

  The ball cannoned off House’s foot to his left, far above the heads of everyone in the playground. It bounced twice on the roof of the biology block, before disappearing out of sight.

  ‘Oh, well done,’ said Spit, clapping sarcastically as he got to his feet. ‘Well done indeed. With those skills, we’re just bound to win that footie match, aren’t we?’

  ‘I didn’t mean to do that,’ replied House.

  ‘You couldn’t have done that if you had wanted to,’ said Alex, smiling. ‘You’re just naturally untalented.’

  He patted House on the back.

  ‘Come on. Me and you’ve got English now, haven’t we? We’ll see the rest of you at lunch.’

  Later, as Big House stared at the whiteboard, trying to decipher the teacher’s handwriting, Alex slipped a folded piece of paper in front of him. House opened it carefully under the desk, trying not to tear it. The note read, I have a plan.

  House groaned. This wasn’t good news. Alex grinned, and gave him the thumbs up.

  When the lesson ended, House tried to make a break for the canteen, but Alex grabbed him by the shoulder and led him in the other direction.

  ‘Come on!’ he hissed.

  ‘Shouldn’t we go and find the others?’ tried House.

  ‘No time. This plan won’t wait.’

  Alex pulled a small red bag from his pocket, wrinkles of mischief creasing the corner of his eyes.

  ‘Oh no,’ said House, putting his head in his hands, ‘not the Lucky Dip…’

  ‘Look,’ said Alex, ‘seeing as I’ve got it back, I may as well put it to good use. And what use could be better than getting our own back on Dante?’ He opened the bag and pulled from it a reel of fishing line and some fishing weights. ‘Perfect.’

  With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, House realized that they were heading directly for the geography teacher’s office. Before he could stop him, Alex peeked through the window in the door and then slipped inside. House looked up and down the corridor. He knew that they were going to get into trouble, but if he did want to become a Guardian Angel, he couldn’t desert his friend. He’d read that in the manual Alex had given him on Monday, just before he’d got on to the really interesting stuff about duffing up demons.

  Alex was tying the fishing line to a latch on the window as House reluctantly entered the office. He turned and grinned at his big friend.

  ‘I knew you wouldn’t let me down.’

  ‘Can we just get this over with and get caught?’

  ‘Trust me – this one’s foolproof.’

  Alex tied a lead fishing weight to the line, and then began paying out the line across the floor. ‘All we have to do is pull on this and the weight will tap against the window. Dante’ll never see the fishing line. He’ll think people are throwing stones against the window. It’ll drive him nuts!’

  ‘Er, and where are we going to be during all of this?’

  Alex pointed at a large sofa just beside the door.

  ‘Behind there.’

  ‘What?’

  Alex grinned again. ‘But first we have to prepare our escape route.’ He rummaged around in the Lucky Dip for a second time. ‘Bingo!’ He carefully positioned the small wooden wedge on the floor, against the edge of the door frame. ‘That’ll keep the door ajar, so we can slip out quietly afterwards.’

  ‘Alex, I’m really not sure about this…’

  The sound of echoing footsteps came from the corridor outside.

  ‘He’s coming! Quick!’

  The two boys barely had time to dive behind the sofa before Mr Dante strode into his office. House didn’t dare to breathe. A chair creaked as the teacher sat down behind his desk, and then there was the sound of a biro scratching across a piece of paper.

  His eyes shining with glee, Alex tugged on the fishing line.

  Tap‐tap…

  Nothing. Alex pulled again, harder this time. Tap‐tap‐tappity‐tap…

  There was a creak, and from behind the sofa House watched Mr Dante’s shadow as it moved over towards the window.

  ‘Who’s there?’ he said sharply. His voice was harsh, the sound of gravel being poured on to a huge drum. Receiving no answer, he returned to his desk, muttering under his breath.

  Tap‐tap‐tappity‐tap…

  Alex’s sides were shaking with mirth as he pulled on the line. This time there was no response from the teacher.

  Tap‐tap‐tappity‐tap…

  Still nothing.

  Tap‐tap‐tappity‐tap…

  A harsh and terrifying roar erupted from Mr Dante, a noise that seemed to be made of a hundred different sounds: rocks breaking into rubble; howling wind and rumbling thunder; the roar of lions and the cawing of crows. The room filled with darkness as the teacher’s shadow began to shift and change on the wall behind him, moulding into the form of two giant bat‐like wings. Suddenly the office felt very, very hot.

  House gaped at Alex, his eyes ready to pop. Without a word, the pair of them leapt out from behind the sofa as if their legs were made of springs, and bolted through the narrowly open door. They charged out of Mr Dante’s office and pelted down the deserted corridor, running until their lungs felt like bursting and they made it back to the safety of the playground.

  Alex bent double, his hands on his knees, as he fought to regain his breath.

  ‘Did… Did you see that?’

  ‘More importantly, did he see us?’

  ‘Don’t think so. He’d’ve chased after us if he had. He was facing the window.’


  House nodded in agreement, his breath coming in huge gulps.

  ‘But… That was… Dante’s a demon! Here in this school! What are we going to do?’

  A thoughtful look crossed Alex’s face.

  ‘I don’t know. But it might not all be bad news.’

  ‘And how d’you figure that?’

  ‘Look, if there’s one dead‐cert way to get back into Gabriel’s good books, it’s the bagging of a demon.’

  House threw his hands up in the air with exasperation.

  ‘Are you kidding me? We’re not even Level One Angels. You have to be at least Level Three to take on a demon and have even a chance of surviving!’

  ‘Maybe so,’ Alex replied, smiling. ‘But I have a plan…’

  7

  Undercover

  ‘You’re making it up,’ said Spit. ‘There’s no way Dante’s a demon.’

  The gang were standing in the cloakroom, away from prying eyes and waggling ears. Their conversation was one they didn’t want to become general knowledge. Who knows how human kids would react if they knew their geography teacher was a demon?

  ‘Why would we lie?’ said Alex through clenched teeth.

  ‘More importantly, why were you in his office in the first place?’ asked Cherry. ‘You’re in enough trouble with him as it is!’

  ‘That doesn’t matter now, does it?’ hissed Alex. ‘And anyway, if we hadn’t been in there, we wouldn’t have found out about Dante, would we?’

  ‘But he can’t be a demon,’ said Spit. ‘It must be the heating in this rubbish school sending you mad. Your brain’s swelling or something. Perhaps you should go home for the rest of the day and have a lie‐down.’

  ‘I don’t need to lie down,’ said Alex. ‘I need to get Dante.’

  ‘The brave talk of a fool,’ said Spit, shaking his head. ‘How do you suggest we get him? With a big net? Or perhaps we just walk in and say, “Ah, Dante, we’re actually angels and we’ve sussed you out. So come along quietly and we’ll take you to Gabriel for a good telling‐off.” You’re ill. Seriously.’

  ‘Look,’ said Alex, ignoring Spit and addressing the whole gang. ‘Imagine what would happen if we could bag a demon. We’d be heroes! Gabriel would have to welcome us back with open arms!’