Miss Buddha

by Ulf Wolf

  “What did you ask him?”

  “I asked him how come he had abandoned his true faith.”

  “What was his reply?”

  “He said that he had seen and listened to an online Ruth Marten lecture, several in fact, he said, and he had learned how to meditate. He then went on to say that this meditation was freeing his soul.”

  “Those were his words?”

  “Yes, sir. Those were his very words.”

  “Did you offer advice to the mother and her son?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “What advice did you offer?”

  “I told him, and his mother, that things that temp one away from the word of Christ is the work of the Devil.”

  “Did they agree?”

  “The mother did. The son remained defiant, insisting that meditation worked much better.”

  “Worked much better than the word of Christ?”

  “Yes. Yes, that’s what he said. It worked much better.”

  “Do you know what he meant by worked much better?”

  “I didn’t ask him.”

  “What did you understand it to mean?”

  “That the word of Ruth Marten was replacing the word of Jesus Christ.”

  “What did your conversation with your lieutenants consist of?”

  “They each reported to me about drastic drops in attendance in their various districts of responsibility.”

  “Were any reasons other than Ruth Marten’s lectures given for this decline?”

  “No,” rumbled Moses. “No.”

  “So, you have experienced a drastic decline in attendance, is that what you are telling this court?”

  “Throughout the congregations. Yes,” said Moses.

  “Do you have any statistical evidence that this is the case?” said Jones.

  “You know I do,” said Moses.

  “Just answer the question, please,” said Jones.

  “Yes. Yes, I do. And I gave copies of it to you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Jones then walked over to his desk and was handed a sheaf of papers by his young male associate. He turned to Judge Moore, holding up the report. “We’d like to enter the People’s Exhibit Number One into the record.”

  “Have you given a copy to the defendant?” asked Moore.

  “Yes, your honor.”

  Judge Moore looked over at Ruth who nodded, yes, she had a copy. She then held out her hand and received the report. “So entered,” she said.

  “Can you please show the witness the report, your honor,” said Jones.

  Judge Moore obliged, and handed the papers to Moses.

  “Is this the statistical evidence you have gathered?” asked Jones.

  “Yes it is.”

  “And when was this data gathered?”

  “Two days ago.”

  “And what does it show?”

  “It shows,” and here Moses looked down to refresh his memory with the correct figures. “It shows an average decline in attendance, over the last three months, of forty-two percent.”

  “Is that a lot?” said Jones.

  “Is that a lot? What kind of a question is this? Forty-two percent. That is almost half.”

  “Please just answer the question,” said Jones.

  “Yes, it is a lot. It is a catastrophic lot,” said Moses. “Some districts,” and here he consulted the summarizing cover page again, “show as much as a sixty-one percent decline in attendance over the last three months. Tornadoes and such never caused such a devastation among the flock. Never.”

  “And all due to,” began Jones.

  “Because of her,” interrupted Moses, pointing at Ruth.

  “Let the record show that the witness is pointing to the defendant, Ruth Marten,” said Jones, just making sure. Then he retrieved the report from Moses and handed it back to the judge, who in turn passed it on to the clerk.

  Jones then turned to Ruth. “Your witness,” he said.

  “No questions,” said Ruth.

  “Are you sure,” said Judge Moore.

  “I am, your honor,” said Ruth.

  :

  Jones’ next witness was Rabbi Doron Hefter, another attendee of the New York Faith Summit, and another religious leader who by now had seen attendance just about halved by his faithful abandoning the faith for the “Anapasti mumbo-jumbo” as he insisted on calling Ruth Marten’s message.

  After the judicial formalities, Jones asked him, “What is happening with your church today?”

  Asking this question of the volatile rabbi was akin to lighting a fuse sunk deeply within a brick of explosives. He looked at Jones, then over at Ruth, then up at the judge. Then, looking at the jury now, said, “It is dying. Three thousand years of devotion shattered and scattered by this, this, renegade,” looking back at Ruth now.

  “Have my people not suffered enough?” he asked of anyone in the room.

  “What do you mean?” said Jones.

  “I mean that we are never left in peace to study and worship our God. Our faith is being torn asunder by this false and heretical prophet.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “I say that because this morning I had fourteen people in my synagogue, fourteen. When I used to have forty, or fifty, or more. Fourteen. I counted them twice to make sure.”

  “And where were the others? The other twenty-six, or thirty-six.”

  “Listening to this temptress, no doubt,” said the Rabbi, again looking over at Ruth Marten, his hand twitching as if it really wanted to point but was conflicted about it.

  “Mister Jones. Would you mind reigning in your witness a little,” said Judge Moore.

  Instead of answering, Jones nodded, then coughed.

  “How do you know that the defendant is responsible for this falling off of your flock?”

  “You mean my congregation?” apparently objecting to the word flock.

  “Of course.”

  “I know this because we have called most of those who have abandoned us, and each and every one mentioned Ruth Marten.”

  “As having done what?” wondered Jones.

  “As having lured them away.”

  “Specifics, please,” said Judge Moore.

  The Rabbi looked up at her, surprised.

  “Lured them away, how?” said Jones.

  “By promising them heaven on earth.”

  “Specifically?” said Jones.

  “Specifically?”

  “How did she promise them heaven on earth?”

  “With this Anapasti mumbo-jumbo.”

  “What, precisely,” looking up at the Judge as if to confirm that, yes, he got her message, “are you referring to?”

  “The meditation she preaches.”

  “Are you talking about Anapanasati?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’m talking about.”

  “And how is Anapanasati delivering heaven on earth?” wondered Jones.

  “I never said anything about delivering, I said promising.”

  “All right, promising.”

  “I think she,” and again he looked over at Ruth Marten as if to underline the word, “is promising heavenly bliss by both her beguiling looks and by her seductive words.”

  “Words? What words?”

  “She talks about the inner stillness, the inner bliss as if you could just sit down and walk there. As if it were available to anyone with a few spare minutes on their hands.

  “Never, not even once, has she mentioned God. No mention of Yahweh, none. Not a single reference to the Creator of all life. If that is not seditious, I don’t know what is.”

  “And people believe her?”

  “People?” said Judge Moore.

  “Sorry, your honor.” Then back to the Rabbi, “And your congregation, those you’ve asked why they no longer attend service, they believe her?”

  “To a man,” said the Rabbi. “It’s if they’ve been enchanted. It’s as if she can cast spells.”

  “How is
this inciting to civil unrest and civil disobedience?” Judge Moore wanted to know, addressing the Rabbi.

  “Well, your honor. Remove, or destroy, a man’s faith and you’ll destroy the very fabric that holds society together. The defendant is doing her best to undermine three thousand years of sacred teachings. In a few months, emptying our synagogues. That’s how.”

  “Fair enough,” said Judge Moore. Then she gave Jones a back to you look.

  “Rabbi Hefter,” said Jones. “You mentioned in your deposition that this falling off of attendance is not only occurring in your district, but all over the country.”

  “All over the world,” corrected the Rabbi.

  “Could you elaborate on that, please.”

  “Gladly. Even in Israel, for Job’s sake. According to my sources there, attendance, country-wide, has dropped over thirty percent. This is the homeland of the Jews. Thirty percent.”

  “Do your sources have names? Can we verify this?”

  “I can do better than that, counselor. As you know, I have a report, received yesterday, and of which you have a copy.”

  “Yes, indeed.” Jones now turned back to his desk to receive another sheaf of paper from his clerk. Then turned back to the judge. “We’d like to enter the People’s Exhibit Number Two into the record.” He handed her the papers.

  “The defendant has a copy?”

  “Yes, your honor.”

  “So entered,” she said and passed them on to her clerk.

  “The report we’ve just entered as evidence,” said Jones, again addressing his witness. “It is an official report?”

  “Yes it is. Ever since we began to perceive the impact of Miss Marten’s promises on our congregations, we have kept attendance records throughout Israel. These reports are directly from the Jewish State Department, signed and sealed, literally.”

  “Signed and sealed by whom?” said Jones.

  “By the Minister of the Interior and Public Welfare.”

  “So we can believe these figures.”

  “Yes we can.”

  “Now, have they established that Ruth Marten is the cause for this falling off of attendance?”

  “According to their best estimates, yes. They have obviously not spoken to every person who has ceased to attend services, but they have contacted and interviewed a sufficient number to draw a statistically valid conclusion.”

  “And that conclusion is?”

  “That conclusion is that Ruth Marten’s seditious sermons are the root of this problem.”

  “No further questions, your honor.”

  Judge Moore looked over at Ruth. “Any questions of this witness, Miss Marten?”

  “No, your honor,” said Ruth.

  :

  Jones’ third witness for the day was Aisha Amiri, speaking for the Islam Religion. Jones had done some soul searching before bringing her to the stand because the Muslim faith was still a contentious issue among the general public and calling on her might, however faintly, give the impression that the prosecution was taking Islam’s side in whatever confrontations they were currently involved in. This could cast him, and his case, in a bad light with the jury, and the press.

  In the end, though, he came down on the side of the more the merrier, figuring that demonstration that no religion, not even Islam, was immune to Ruth Marten’s negative influence would outweigh any implied Muslim support on his part.

  So, here she was, more stunning than ever to Jones, shrouded in a black, mysterious exterior (was that a black sari?) hiding the equally mysterious interior, reflected by her darker than night eyes and black waterfall of hair. She fascinated him, always had.

  Jones had made sure that the clerk used a copy of the Koran rather than the Bible for the swearing, and he was happy to see that there were no mix-ups in that department. Then again, Judge Moore would also have seen to that.

  “Miss Amiri,” said Jones. And did not continue until the woman looked up at him. “Miss Amiri,” he repeated. “You are well briefed, and kept up-to-date about the impact, if any, of Ruth Marten’s lectures on the attendance in your mosques. Would that be a correct statement?”

  “Yes,” she answered. “That would be a correct statement.”

  “This being the case, what is Ruth Marten’s impact on the attendance, if any?”

  “As of two days ago, the nationwide impact—and by nationwide I mean the United States—of Miss Marten’s lectures on our attendance appears to be a thirty percent drop, give or take a point.”

  “Appears?” said Jones.

  “We have not verified her as the cause with every single non-attendee,” said Amiri.

  “But you have verified it with some?”

  “We have verified this drop in attendance with a sufficient number of Muslims to render the number statistically reliable,” she answered.

  Jones liked matter-of-factness. A lot. So did Judge Moore.

  “How many wayward attendees have you interviewed?” said Jones, and, seeing Amiri frown, immediately regretted his choice of wayward. He considered for a fleeting moment apologizing, but never got as far as deciding before she spoke.

  “I am not sure how wayward these men and women might be, but we have spoken directly to over two thousand Muslims who up until the last couple of months were regular worshippers at their mosques and today no longer visit.”

  “Two thousand?”

  “Statistically relevant,” Amiri clarified.

  “Statistically relevant,” confirmed Jones. “And what did this statistically relevant portion of your worshippers (he almost said flock and was very glad he didn’t hit that pot hole) give as the reason for no longer attending?”

  “Ruth Marten,” said Amiri.

  “The defendant?”

  “Of course.”

  “Why?” asked Jones.

  “The most common reason given was that they had tried meditation and found it to work.”

  “Found it to work?”

  “That is what I said, and that is what they said.”

  “What percentage of the two thousand gave that answer?” asked Jones before Judge Moore did—which he assumed that she was about to.

  “Forty-one percent.”

  “So, of the two thousand people you interviewed, over eight hundred told you that they had found meditation to work?” By the time the last word had crossed his lips Jones was berating himself for asking the question. He was not in the business of validating Ruth Marten’s promises. But the number had taken him by surprise.

  “That is correct.”

  “What does the Koran say about meditation? Is it permissible?”

  “It is permissible.”

  “So those who meditate are not in trouble?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They are not breaking any Islam precepts that would get them in hot water with their Imams?”

  Miss Amiri looked at Jones and then up at the Judge, not sure what Jones was getting at.

  Judge Moore sympathized and said, “Where are you going with this, Mister Jones? Is it relevant?”

  “I was under the impression, your honor, that Islam frowned upon Muslims engaging in practices other than Islam.”

  “Well,” said Amiri, “It does.”

  “But you just said that Islam did not frown upon meditation.”

  “Meditation has its place in Islam.”

  “Buddhist meditation?”

  “I never said that,” said Amiri.

  “Ah,” said Jones.

  “Get to the point,” said Judge Moore.

  “Will these eight hundred confessed Buddhist meditators now be in trouble with their Imams?”

  “How do you define in trouble?” said Amiri.

  “Well, how would you define it?” said Jones.

  “Mister Jones,” said Judge Moore. “Don’t badger the witness.”

  “Their Imams,” said Amiri, “will not be happy with the meditators, that’s is true. But they are not in trouble as you seem to l
ike saying. It’s not as if we are going to stone them or anything.”

  Both Judge Moore and Otto Jones flinched at this biting remark. Jones took a moment or two to regain composure. Then said, “I’m sorry, Miss Amiri, I didn’t mean to imply (imply what?). I just wanted to establish that these Muslims knowingly went against the wishes of their religious leaders, something you rarely do, in order to take Ruth Marten up on her offer.”

  “I guess you could put it that way,” agreed Amiri.

  “Let’s return to the cause, the statistically relevant cause of the thirty percent drop, give or take, in attendance at your American mosques. You have established this to be Ruth Marten’s Internet lectures?”

  “Yes, we have.”

  “Have you seen similar drops in other, more traditionally Muslim countries?”

  “We have seen drops,” said Amiri.

  “As large?” asked Jones.

  “I don’t know. They have not shared their numbers with us.”

  “But they have experienced a drop in attendance, in countries like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran?”

  “That is my understanding,” said Amiri.

  Jones considered asking for more detail, but decided not to. He had made his point: even Islam was being devastated by Ruth Marten’s promises.

  “No further questions,” said Jones.

  Judge Moore looked over at Ruth Marten, expecting her to decline again. To her surprise, Ruth Marten said, “One question, your honor.”

  “Please approach,” said Moore.

  Ruth rose and walked over to Amiri. For a long, silent moment Ruth took her in, and not without interest.

  “Miss Amiri,” she said. “Have you listened to any of my lectures?”

  “Yes, I have,” said Amiri.

  “And what did you think?” asked Ruth. She stressed you to make very sure that what she was asking was Amiri’s personal opinion, not the opinion of her federation or religion.

  “I found them to be quite interesting,” said Amiri. Truthfully.

  “Thank you,” said Ruth and returned to her seat.

  “The witness may step down,” said Judge Moore.

  :

  John Keeler, the Boston Archbishop speaking for the American Catholic Church and its attendance problem, and the Reverend John Fielding, head of the American United Methodist Church, were Jones’ final two witnesses for the day, both testifying to similar devastations of congregation attendance due to Ruth Marten’s pernicious (Keeler’s word) and venomous (Fielding’s word) influence on their respective flocks (neither objected to the term).