Rubbing Charlotte’s ears, she gazed out the window to the mountains in the distance. The rain had finally stopped, the gray evening sky giving way to splotches of purples, oranges, and yellows.
Maddie laughed at something on the screen, and Francie looked over and smiled. She seemed to be feeling better. She’d taken an ibuprofen and had changed into some comfy sweats. Tanner had texted a few minutes ago saying he was on his way with “supplies,” which made her grin. Overall, she felt inexplicably content in the moment. Which worried her, because this wasn’t her family. Far from it.
The front door opened and he walked in with two paper sacks from Monroe’s.
He raised his brows. “I take it the coast is clear? I’m not wearing a helmet. Should I go get one?”
Maddie giggled and pushed herself up to a sitting position. “Sorry, Tanner.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m just impressed by your aim.”
He looked over at Francie and their gazes locked, an undeniable heat passing between them. Her heart thumped behind her breastbone. He was so handsome, so rugged.
Finally looking away, he walked over to the coffee table and began taking out the contents of the bags.
“We’ve got slender tampons, just in case. We’ve got pads with wings. We’ve got pads for nighttime with super absorbency. We’ve got thin liner thingies for a light flow, and…” He pulled out a gallon of rocky road ice cream. “We’ve got comfort food.”
Francie stared up at him. It was like he was a period angel, sent straight from heaven with his menstrual cycle offerings. She honestly didn’t think he’d ever looked hotter.
“Can you stay?” he asked. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, and the crease between his brows had smoothed a bit. It was a small clue as to how he might be feeling. Like maybe he was happy right then, too.
“Stay?” She didn’t know what he meant, but her brain skipped ahead about a thousand steps anyway. Stay tonight, stay tomorrow. Stay indefinitely.
“For a movie?” Tanner continued. “If we’ll all fit on the couch. The dog has to scoot over, though.”
Maddie beamed. “Yeah, Francie! Can you stay? It’ll be fun.”
She couldn’t think of anything she’d rather do more.
“Sure,” she said. “I’d love to.”
*
At just after eleven, Tanner woke Maddie and walked her to her room. She was still half-asleep and Francie heard him from down the hall telling her to crawl in bed, that one night without brushing her teeth wouldn’t kill her. The little girl argued, but not for long because after a few seconds, Tanner appeared in the living room again.
“She’s obsessed with oral hygiene. She’s gonna wake up pissed tomorrow.”
Francie pushed the blanket off and stretched. “You have to admit, that’s pretty adorable.”
His gaze fell to her chest, before coming back up again. There was something in his expression she couldn’t read. Things had grown so complicated between them in just a matter of days.
“Thank you for coming over today,” he said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done otherwise.”
Her lips tilted at that. “You would’ve done just fine.”
“She can throw me for a loop sometimes.”
“She’s a preteen. She’s supposed to throw you for a loop. That’s how you know she’s working right.”
He nodded. “Good point.”
“Today was a pretty big deal,” she continued, “and you handled it like a pro, Tanner. Better than my own mom did.”
“No ice cream?”
“Are you kidding? I got a lecture about how sugar combined with all my new whacked-out hormones would make me break out. And we couldn’t have that.” She paused at the memory. At how her mom had sat her down and listed all the things her period meant, including the possibility of gaining weight. And in her house, that would’ve been like going out and robbing a bank. It stung, even today.
She swallowed hard. Tanner hadn’t been good with Maddie this afternoon. He’d been damn near perfect.
“Huh,” he said. “Sounds like she didn’t realize you were the prettiest girl in school, even with a face full of zits.”
“I was never the prettiest girl in school.”
He shook his head. “How can you say that?”
“Easy. I was popular because I was part of the in crowd. Not the same thing as being an attractive person. Or even a good person.”
She’d said too much. She hated talking about how she really felt growing up. With the constant pressure and unrealistic expectations. She still felt it. All of it.
He took a step toward her. Then another, and another, until he stood right over her. He held a hand out, those hands that were so big and capable—rough but gentle at the same time. “Come here,” he said.
She watched him for a few seconds, and then let him pull her to her feet.
She felt so safe in Tanner’s presence. Like the only thing that might hurt her would be her own heart for letting him in. But looking back, she’d never really stood a chance, had she? From that very first moment she’d seen him standing on her porch in that white T-shirt and those faded jeans, she’d been a complete goner. Didn’t matter how many times they reminded themselves this wasn’t a good idea, or how it wasn’t the responsible thing. From that first day, they’d been tumbling toward this night right here.
His eyes were darker than usual, almost black in the minimal light of the living room.
“What are we doing, Francie?” he asked, his voice low. “I swear to God, I was never going to touch you. I was going to come to your place and work, and never lay a damn finger on you.”
They stood so close that she could feel his erection against her lower belly. She ached to touch him there, ached to touch him everywhere, actually. But she stood completely still, afraid he might pull away. And take something with him when he went.
“Don’t you know I’ve wanted you to touch me?” she managed.
He ran his hands up her bare arms, the sharp contrast of his skin against hers, mind-numbingly delicious. A warm, delicate pulse built at the base of her throat, and her legs trembled underneath her.
And without another word, he leaned down slowly, until his mouth hovered over hers.
“You’re beautiful, Francie,” he whispered. “You were beautiful then, and you’re beautiful now. Inside and out.”
It wasn’t what he said, it was how he said it. As though he meant every word.
Lowering his head, he kissed her long and deep. His lips, which always looked so hard and serious, were warm and giving. She kissed him back, trembling everywhere. He wrapped a strong, steadying arm around her lower back, and she let herself lean into him. Suddenly, the insecurities were gone—they’d flown away like a bevy of doves. In their wake, she felt free, sensual, like a woman who knew what she wanted, and wasn’t afraid to ask for it.
Reaching up, she put her arms around his neck and felt his hair tickle her forearms. And then, so quickly she didn’t have time to process it, he picked her up. Like the other day in his living room, but this time, he turned and carried her quietly down the hall and into his bedroom. Charlotte padded sleepily behind, but he shut the door before she could follow them inside.
Francie laughed. “Poor, Charlotte.”
“She’ll live. She goes everywhere with me, but I’m drawing a line here.”
“You don’t think Maddie will wake up?”
“She sleeps like the dead. I’m guessing we won’t see her until after nine. At least.”
“So, does that mean I’m invited to stay until morning?”
He nipped gently at her neck, her throat, her earlobes which were unbearably hot. She heard her earring click against his teeth. “You’re invited to stay until morning. I might even make you breakfast.”
Her heart pounded at that. This was dangerous. He had to be thinking the same thing. The taste of domesticity was sweet as granulated sugar on her tongue. And just like something sweet, she
craved it. Had she been needing this all along? Had he?
That was the thing with loneliness, though. Sometimes it masked itself as being busy, or stoic, or guarded, or simply stuck-up. But sometimes, lonely was just lonely. For Francie, it didn’t matter how many people thought she was pretty. It only mattered how she felt inside. And lately, that feeling was becoming more and more pointed. Tanner’s touch was soothing it some and making her realize what exactly it was that she wanted out of life. To have her own family. To be with them until she was old and gray, and rocking on a swing on her front porch.
Tanner lay her on the bed, and she leaned back against the pillows, staring up at him.
Without saying a word, he peeled his T-shirt over his head. And there it was again, that incredibly fit body that she’d only glimpsed at before. Never touched, even though every cell in her being had practically demanded it. There was only a small lamp on in the corner, and the effect was breathtakingly sensual—shadows that caressed every sharp contour, every long line of his muscled frame.
Smiling, he moved over her like a wolf, taking his time, brushing himself against her, so she could barely keep still. When he came to her mouth, he lowered his head to kiss her slowly, his skilled tongue dancing erotically with hers.
And suddenly, she was someone else. She wasn’t the woman she’d come to know, the ex-homecoming queen who painted her house on the weekends and paid her water bill two days early. She was Tanner’s, and somehow that made her special. She was fierce lying here underneath him. She had to be, otherwise his energy would’ve jolted her dead. At that moment, she felt like she could’ve conquered anything or anyone because of the way she saw herself through his eyes.
Leaning on one elbow, he reached down and unbuttoned her shorts. He breathed against her neck, setting fire to her skin. His knuckles brushed against her bikini line, his hand working the shorts down as she raised her hips off the bed. Down over her thighs they went, until he pulled them off and tossed them in the corner.
He lowered his head to her throat and kissed her there, making his way down to its hollow and then followed the line of her collarbone with his tongue. Gasping, she spread her legs, raising one knee so his belt rubbed the inside of her thigh. She felt him, hard and bulging against her stomach. All she wanted was to be moving naked underneath him. No barriers, nothing but skin on skin.
Seeming to read her mind, he pulled away to look down at her in the relative darkness. His eyes were black as onyx, his lips tilted in that cocky way that made her want to suck on them.
“I don’t think we need this anymore, do we?” he said, tugging on her shirt.
She shook her head, and he lowered himself to her belly and caught the hem between his teeth. He moved it up a few inches, exposing her skin to the chill of the room. She felt his stubble scrape over the sensitive crevice of her belly button, and she moaned, leaning into the pillows.
She felt the warmth of his stomach against hers, the rough line of hair running down his abdomen, his belt buckle, cold and hard against her hip. And then her thin cotton shirt was gone. She lay there in only her underwear, the crotch of her panties soaked through.
Reaching underneath her, he unhooked her bra and moved the straps down, his palms sliding over her shoulders, her arms, and then pulled it off completely. He cupped her breasts in his hands, lowering his head to take a pebbled nipple between his teeth.
She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, pleasure filling every single nook and cranny, her body responding on its own. She felt her pulse in her ears, in her throat, in the delicate spot next to her groin. Wherever blood rushed, it seemed she was lit with flames that in turn, lapped at her flesh. Hungry and unrelenting.
Finally, she reached for him. His thick shoulders slid seductively underneath her roaming hands. She trailed her fingers down his rib cage, outward over the small of his back, and underneath his jeans to the top of his ass.
He stiffened over her, making a sound deep inside his chest, which only excited her more. Tracing his skin underneath the line of his belt, she moved her hands inward then, toward his lower belly and above his erection that was hard as a brick.
His stomach twitched and his breath caught. She felt the muscles in his long, lean body flex. There was so much male power there. She wondered what Tanner had been capable of all along. He could easily have done worse to Guy in high school, but he’d made a conscious decision not to. Even though he’d had a lot of growing to do, she knew the strength had always been there. The knowledge made her breathe faster, made her stupid heart trip all over itself.
She reached for his belt with shaky hands. He lifted himself enough to give her the room she needed to unbuckle it and pull it through the loops with a soft swoosh. She dropped it over the side of the bed, then went to work on the buttons of his jeans. They’d both broken out in a fine sheen of sweat, and the slick friction of their skin was the most primal, sexual thing she’d ever experienced in her life.
She breathed him in, his scent, the fresh scent of his sheets and his house, and she felt herself tumbling, tumbling. Falling head over heels for something she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for because she’d have to be ready to lose it, too. And the thought was almost too much to bear.
She pushed his jeans down, and then his Jockeys, until his hot, thick erection sprung free. She felt its velvety length against her thigh and reached down to wrap her fingers around it.
He stiffened and sucked in a breath as she began stroking and exploring. Her heart was pounding so hard that her entire body shook in anticipation.
Leaning over, he opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a condom.
She lifted her head off the pillow to kiss his neck. He was salty and warm.
“I thought you didn’t have any condoms.”
He grinned in the shadows. “I didn’t. But they were the first thing on my shopping list.”
“Thank God you’re a list maker.”
“Right?”
He unwrapped it and rolled it on, then moved her hair aside with one hand, and gazed down at her for a long, tender moment. He didn’t try and kiss her, didn’t try to articulate anything. Just looked her in the eyes, while she looked right back. She was glad he didn’t speak. He didn’t have to. She knew exactly what he was feeling, because she was feeling it, too. She was falling in love with him.
Deep down, she knew there’d been no other way for her. It had been going to happen, whether she wanted it to or not. Whether she was ready for it or not. Because love didn’t really give a rip if you were emotionally prepared. It came and it conquered. The best you could hope for was that it wouldn’t leave a trail of scorched earth in its wake.
Slowly, he pulled her panties down over her thighs, and then, finally, she was naked underneath him. Just as she’d been imagining since that very first day. Except if she was being honest, she’d been drawn to Tanner for a lot longer than that. In high school, she used to think she was unsettled by his dark eyes, his quiet intelligence. But at fifteen, she couldn’t have understood what lay beneath that surface. That he would eventually grow into his eyes and would gain control of his tongue to speak to her in ways that would defy logic. He was everything she’d ever been afraid of, everything she’d ever hoped for.
She wrapped her legs around his back and felt him nudge her with his tip. She raised her hips to meet him, hungry and unashamed.
With a groan, he slid inside her. Easy, steady at first. She raised her hips more, wanting him deeper. Wanting him to consume her. Sensing it, he only teased, trailing hot kisses along her jaw.
She thought she said his name, once, twice, but she couldn’t be sure. The blood was roaring in her ears now, and all she was aware of was him. Only him.
And then he plunged deep, again and again. Her orgasm built like sparking fireworks in a night sky. Small, crackling flames that she felt from every corner of her body. What had been dark, was now lit with every color imaginable. What had been cold, was now warm. And what had been em
pty, was now full.
Tanner tensed over her, then shuddered with his own release. He breathed against her neck, and she closed her eyes with an overwhelming sense of love that shouldn’t have taken her off guard, but it did anyway.
When their breathing had slowed, he kissed her cheek, the tip of her nose, her chin, her eyebrows, and then her lips. So sweetly, that she nearly cried because of it.
Pulling away, he looked down at her and smiled. “That was risky, wasn’t it?”
She smiled back.
Yes, it was.
Chapter Thirteen
Francie’s eyes fluttered open to the first rays of early morning sunlight shining through the slats of the blinds. She rolled over, the warm sheets twisting around her naked body, and looked at the clock. Six thirty. Not as early as she knew Tanner usually got going, because for landscapers, the name of the game in late June was to beat the heat. But early enough, considering how late they’d stayed up having sex. Over and over and over again, before she literally collapsed in his arms, and he fell asleep breathing into her hair.
Her legs were sore, and her lips were chafed. She felt like she’d only now discovered what her body was capable of. And it was a wonderful thing.
The smell of bacon reached her from the kitchen, along with the soft clanking of pots and pans. He was trying to be quiet, not wanting to wake Maddie.
Propping herself up on her elbow, she looked around the room. It was the first time she’d seen it in the daylight. There was a huge bookcase in the corner, where there were too many worn, dog-eared books to count—classics, as well as contemporary fiction, non-fiction, biographies and history journals. Tanner had always been a bookworm. She remembered that as well as anything and thought again about the day he recited a passage from The Catcher in the Rye in class.
Several pictures in heavy wood frames hung on the walls—mostly of his siblings—Maddie, with her big brothers. But there were a few of his mother, too. No matter how rocky his relationship had been with her, he still loved her. She knew he was someone whose family meant everything to him.
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