Secret Blend (Bourbon Springs Book 1)

by Jennifer Bramseth

  From the small wicker table at her elbow, Rachel reached for her tea and was happy to feel the warmth of the thick stoneware mug as she wrapped her hands around it. She pulled the mug to her chest and warmed herself; since the hotel was near a forest, the summer evening was a little cooler than she had expected. In those quiet moments, Rachel decided to stay instead of leaving the next day. Tomorrow when it was warm and bright, she would do something to perk herself up, like go hiking or horseback riding or something. Anything. Activity wasn’t a cure, but she knew it would help keep her mind off her problems.

  Her thoughts started drifting to Brady, the things he said—and the very big thing he hadn’t said. She felt the tears slowly sliding down her face; they provided a small tease of warmth on her skin before the cold air hit the moisture, which caused her to shiver.

  Her head hurt and she was getting drowsy. But going back to her room—her huge, ornate, empty, lonely room—was an unattractive option. She’d brought a few books and magazines but even as she had packed them, she doubted she’d feel like reading them during her sad journey.

  Rachel didn’t know what time it was but figured it was getting late. The ambient lighting from the hotel had diminished, and she sensed activity inside was winding down for the night. As she turned to replace her mug on the little table, she heard him.

  “Rachel...”

  She gasped at the sound of her name—in that voice.

  Rachel put her hands on the arms of the chair and turned to see Brady standing behind her a few yards away. He was dressed in jeans and what looked to be a white t-shirt and old black hoodie.

  She turned her back on him and stared glassy-eyed into the darkness of the hotel grounds, wondering briefly how he’d found her, but didn’t ask. Instead, she decided to protect herself.

  “Go away,” she barked, her back still turned.

  “Please don’t make me,” he pleaded.

  Her determination started to crack, but she remained silent. Her quiet must have given Brady a small crumb of hope, and he took a few steps closer to her until he was at her side.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have blamed you. I love you, Rachel.”

  She turned her head up and to the side and met Brady’s eyes. Like her, his face was wet with tears. Rachel struggled to speak, but no words came and she had no idea what to say.

  He filled the void.

  Brady moved until he stood in front of her, and he then got down on his knees.

  “I am going to tell you again. I’m sorry. I love you. And I’m on my knees begging you to forgive me.”

  Now that he was closer, Rachel examined him. She knew from recent glances in the mirror that she hadn’t looked so great the past few days; but Brady looked absolutely stricken.

  His hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in a few days. Likewise, it seemed he hadn’t bothered to shave in that same time. Dark circles had formed under his eyes. He gave the appearance of someone who was recovering from a serious illness and was still unwell.

  Looking down at her hands clasped in her lap, Rachel took a deep breath before daring to look at Brady.

  “Why couldn’t you say you loved me, Brady? Why couldn’t you answer that question when Hannah asked you?”

  “I was in shock, Rachel. Hannah had shown up out of nowhere and started acting out my worst nightmare. Then you appeared, and all I wanted to do was talk to you,” he said, and paused. “And—and I’ve made a decision. I’m not going to run to keep my judgeship. I’m getting out of the race.”

  Rachel jumped out of her chair, nearly knocking Brady over. “What? Why the hell would you do that?”

  Brady struggled to his feet. “Because it’s tearing us apart, that’s why,” he said. “We finally manage to get together after some fits and starts—after years, really—and then we keep it hidden because I draw an opponent, and the opponent is your best friend. Then your so-called best friend finds out about us and tells everyone how horrible we both are and tries to destroy us personally and politically,” he said, and started shaking his head. “I’m fine with being destroyed politically, but not personally. Being a judge isn’t worth it if I can’t have you, Rachel.”

  “You idiot! You really think that walking away from the office you’ve wanted for years is just going to make everything magically fall into place for you? That the stars will align and we walk off into the sunset together? No, Brady, it doesn’t work that way. That’s fairy-tale thinking, and we’re adults.”

  “I thought that you’d want this,” he said angrily.

  “No, I don’t. I don’t want you to give up your dream job for anything, especially me. I didn’t ask for that and wouldn’t ask for that. It’s not fair to you or me. You’d be miserable and resent me for it.”

  “I would never resent you—”

  “That’s right, because you will not give up the bench for me,” she said, pointing at him. “You are not walking away. If you do, I will guarantee we’ll never be together. How could we begin a life together with frustration as a starting point?”

  It was the first time she’d vocalized her hope, her belief, that what they had was going to be forever. She realized she was assuming they were going to get back together.

  “But I’m going to lose my judgeship anyway, Rach,” he said. “Hannah has told the entire town that we’ve been…”

  “But she didn’t tell the world the entire truth, did she?” Rachel crossed her arms. Brady’s mouth dropped open and he shrugged almost imperceptibly. “She didn’t tell everyone the most important thing, the thing that I tried to tell her before she stormed off and decided to never speak to me again.”

  “What’s that?”

  Rachel licked her lips and the tears started trickling down her cheeks again. “That we’re in love,” she whispered.

  Chapter 26

  “Wait—you did try to tell her that?” he stuttered. “Because she said—”

  Rachel tilted her head, thinking she hadn’t heard Brady correctly. “Exactly what did Hannah tell you?”

  “Right before I saw you appear in the door of the clerk’s office, Hannah said something like you hadn’t told her that you loved me. She was taunting me. It sounded as though she’d asked you directly and…”

  Rachel closed her eyes and shook her head forcefully. This was all one stupid misunderstanding, courtesy of Hannah’s mocking words and epically bad timing.

  “That’s not what happened at all.” Taking a deep breath, Rachel relived in agonizing detail what had happened that terrible morning. “She never gave me the chance to tell her,” she said, crying and holding herself. “She started saying the most horrible things. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, I was crying so hard I couldn’t stand up, and then she walked out and headed for the courthouse.”

  Tears were trickling down her cheeks and she didn’t want to meet his gaze, but she did. Rachel saw reflected on Brady’s own tear-stained face the depth of her own misery. For several seconds, they stared at each other, their mouths open and breathing heavily. She felt wounded, exhausted, and raw, and still didn’t know whether she wanted to be around him, despite their mutual realization that the whole episode had been based on mutual mistake.

  “You didn’t ask how I found you,” he said.

  It was not something she expected him to say, and she’d forgotten her momentary curiosity about that point.

  “Well, how did you manage that? Because the only person who knew was Sherry, and I expect she hasn’t said a word to you since—”

  “Sherry told me,” he said, interrupting.

  “Like hell she did.”

  “What other explanation is there? It’s not like I’m some super spy and was able to track you here,” he said, spreading his arms out.

  “What did you do to make her give me up?” Rachel demanded.

  “I told her the truth. I told her I loved you. Repeatedly. There was one point where I followed her down to the clerk’s office, making an absolute
fool of myself, and kept telling her that I loved you, was miserable, and had to find you. The clerks thought I’d lost it.”

  “The clerks saw you?”

  “Oh, yeah, they saw me. And heard me. At one point I jumped in front of Sherry as she was trying to enter the clerk’s office and kind of yelled at her something like ‘I’m in love with Rachel, why won’t you tell me where she is?’ and I thought she was finally going to give you up.”

  Rachel could discern no disingenuousness in his answer, but wasn’t satisfied.

  “But she didn’t?”

  “Nope. Still did a ton of groveling after that,” he admitted, and laughed weakly.

  “You’re not the type to grovel, Brady Craft,” Rachel claimed. She still couldn’t believe him. Sherry would not give her up; she would’ve seen right through Brady’s act.

  If it had been an act.

  “Look at me, Rachel,” Brady said, gesturing to himself. “I haven’t slept for two days. I’ve barely eaten, and I’m not sure when I last shaved,” he said, rubbing his chin. “It took me two days to get your whereabouts out of Sherry. She didn’t give up easily, so please don’t be mad at her. In the end, I don’t think it was anything I said that finally convinced her to tell me you were here. Frankly, I think she took pity on me.”

  “Pity?”

  Brady hesitated and rubbed his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand. “I was—am—in a bad state. Sherry only told me you were here when she found me in my office crying.”

  He dropped his hand from his face and looked at her as Rachel felt her face relax and her lips parted. Brady had been crying over her? And in the office?

  “Do you still want me to leave? Because I’ll understand if you do.”

  Rachel took a step toward him. She moved her right hand to his cheek and felt the coarse, unshaven skin. “Don’t go,” she said.

  Brady sighed and closed his eyes while she caressed his cheek. He gently took her head between his hands and looked directly her eyes.

  “And just so there aren’t any more misunderstandings, Rachel Richards, let me say this: I. Love. You.”

  She smiled. “And I love you, Brady.”

  He moved his hands to her hips, drawing her closer. “Please don’t ever leave me again,” Brady entreated. “Even if I’m a jerk or stupid or whatever. Stay and figure out whether I’m being an asshole or an idiot.”

  “Those aren’t mutually exclusive qualities, you know.”

  “I know. But call me out, cuss me out, whatever. But whatever you do, don’t leave. We could’ve cleared the air if we had talked, and spared ourselves a lot of misery.”

  She put both of her hands aside his face. “I promise,” she whispered, and then drew him into a long kiss.

  After long, sweet tastes of each other, Brady broke from her and started to trail tiny kisses along her jawline and down to her neck. Rachel arched against him reflexively and sighed, as Brady drew his tongue over her skin, causing her to shiver. She moved her arms around him and nestled her head into Brady’s chest, and he kissed the top of her head.

  They were back together. The darkness, the abyss of his absence was gone. He was there with her, had sought her out, and still wanted her.

  “Promise me that you’re still going to run,” Rachel said.

  “I promise,” he said, and then pulled away to look at her while gently grasping her upper arms. “And I understand that our problems aren’t behind us. You’re right; there’s not a silver bullet for the mess we're in. But I meant what I said. We go back home and no more hiding, no more denying. We’re a couple, with our relationship out in the open. Because I want to be able to go out to eat or for a walk with the woman I love without worrying that someone could see us together. Those days are over.”

  “Agreed,” Rachel said. “But I have a question.”

  “What?”

  “You’ve told me that you haven’t slept for days, and can’t remember when you last shaved,” she said, and then bit her lip.

  “Yeah,” he said sheepishly.

  “When was the last time you took a shower?” she asked with a nervous smile.

  He closed his eyes and smiled. “Are you trying to tell me in a nice way that I stink?”

  “Would you like to remedy that? Because I just so happen to have an oversized tub in my room.”

  Brady’s eyes flew open and she gave him a devious smile.

  “Rachel, I didn’t come here just to try to get you back into bed—or on a bench,” he added, making her smile, and she involuntarily curled her toes inside her shoes at the memory of their last sexual encounter. “But I’ll admit the thought of never making love to you again has absolutely terrified me for the past two days.”

  “You can put your mind at ease on that point,” Rachel said. “That danger has passed.”

  She kissed him and snuggled against his chest once more as Brady buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply.

  “There’s something I gotta know,” Brady said, pulling away from Rachel to look at her.

  “Yes?”

  “What is that fragrance you use? It’s been driving me crazy for months now.”

  “Really? It’s just something I started wearing again recently,” she confirmed.

  “Did you start wearing it again about the time we got together?”

  She smiled. “I can’t believe you noticed that. I used to wear it years ago.”

  “When we clerked for Justice Nolan?”

  She could feel her cheeks burn and was happily shocked that Brady had not only noticed what had become her favorite scent, but that he had made the connection. “Yes. The scent reminded me of those times, and those were happy times.”

  “But why’d you start using it again?”

  “I admit that I got a whiff of the cologne you were wearing, and it took me back to our clerking days. A little after that, I came across my old bottle in a drawer and pulled it out.”

  “What’s it called? I want to go buy you every bottle I can find.”

  “Ever After.”

  Brady put both of his hands in her hair and tilted her head back.

  “How appropriate,” he said, and kissed her.

  After standing together in a tight embrace and kissing for several minutes, Rachel could not ignore Brady’s arousal pressing against her. She took him by the hand and led him back around the porch to the door where she had exited. With a swipe of her keycard, she opened a door, whereupon they found themselves in a long curving hallway. They turned left and soon found a bank of elevators.

  “Have you been wandering around here very long trying to find me?” she asked as they waited for a car.

  “All day,” he admitted. “I was lucky security didn’t throw me out, looking like I do. I had to get my own room just so I could be sure I wouldn’t get booted as I looked for you.”

  An elevator arrived and the doors opened.

  “So you’ve been following me all day?” Rachel asked as they entered the elevator. She pressed a button and waited for his answer.

  “Not all day, but a big part of it. I just wanted to see you at first. Then I realized I needed time to think about what I wanted to say before I approached you.”

  “There were a few times today when I thought I saw someone and imagined they were following me. I chalked it up to an overactive imagination.”

  “Maybe you can put that imagination to better use this evening,” he suggested, and grabbed her waist from behind and nuzzled her neck.

  “There are cameras in here you know,” Rachel reminded him.

  “I see you’re already putting that imagination to work,” he said as he gave her neck one last kiss before the doors opened.

  “Actually, I prefer to use my creativity behind closed doors.”

  “I’m counting on it,” Brady replied.

  Rachel took Brady’s hand and guided him down the hall to her room. Even though she’d been in and out of her room several times during her visit, she co
ntinued to be astounded by the size and flamboyance of her accommodations every time she returned and opened the door. Far across the room was a set of French doors that opened to the massive atrium. On the left was a carved, four-poster king-sized bed, laden with luxurious pillows, comforters and sheets, all in the color dove grey, with the bed flanked by two matching and equally ornate marble-topped side tables. To the right were a dark cherry writing desk and a sitting area with a leather loveseat and chair, beyond which was the bathroom.

  She walked toward the bathroom, but only took off her jacket as she crossed the room, tossing it on the loveseat as Brady followed her. The bathroom interior was completely white and with the lights on the space seemed to glow. It had two showers, one with a tub, but it also boasted another, larger tub. Rachel drew the bath and put in some bubble bath (courtesy of the hotel) to make it interesting.

  “OK, strip,” she commanded, hands-on-hips, and looked expectantly at him.

  “What about you?” he asked as he started to take off his clothes and pile them on the bathroom floor.

  “You get yourself all squeaky clean and then maybe you can tempt me to join you,” she said with a smile. Then she kissed Brady on the cheek, left the bathroom, and retreated to the sitting area where she ensconced herself in the leather chair and read a magazine.

  “I’m ready for my hygiene inspection,” Brady called after a few minutes.

  Rachel put the magazine aside at once and laughed out loud at his cheekiness. As she got up and started taking off her clothes in anticipation of Brady passing inspection, Rachel realized that she had just laughed for the first time in days.

  By the time she entered the bathroom, she was stripping off her panties—the pink ones.

  “Aw,” he moaned as he sat alone in the tub. “You know how I like to do that,” he said.

  “I’m sure you’ll get another shot at it someday,” she said, tossing the panties on the floor on top of his discarded clothes.

  “Well, what about my inspection?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “I think I’ll need to get closer to do a thorough job,” she said. She hoisted herself into the tub. The water wasn’t hot and she slipped under the surface quickly and without discomfort. Although most of the bubbles were gone, there was still a considerable layer of frothiness all around them.