Bad for You (Dirty Deeds)

by J. Daniels

  The engine roared.

  Shayla’s arms circled my waist, and she held on tight. I looked back at her. She propped her chin on my shoulder and grinned. I grinned too, backing us out. I couldn’t help it.

  Then we rode.

  For a long fucking time.

  Chapter Thirteen

  SHAYLA

  “Babe, you are delusional. He’s hard up for you. Trust me.”

  I rolled my eyes for the millionth time tonight and took another sip of my Creamsicle margarita, refusing to agree with Tori, just like I was refusing to agree with the rest of the girls when they’d all said different versions of that exact same sentence at one point or another since we’d arrived at Low Bar.

  Well, except for Jenna.

  Since she worked at a lawyer’s office and didn’t waitress at Whitecaps, she didn’t have an opinion on the situation.

  My situation.

  Ha! I did not have a situation, which was why I kept rolling my eyes and giving more attention to my delicious drink than to the crazy going on around me. At this rate, I was likely to be lit before the hour was up. That was fine by me.

  Two nights ago, I’d taken the best ride of my entire life, and that included the first ride I ever took on the back of my dad’s bike at the ripe age of eleven.

  Riding with my dad had been fun. Adventurous. It made me happy, as did the memories of all our rides together. They were extremely special to me.

  But riding with Sean? That was out of this world amazing, for many reasons, but the main reason being the feel of his body against mine in places that had never felt parts of Sean’s body before.

  I was unprepared for how incredible it would be. And our ride was long, meaning I had plenty of time to soak in that incredible feeling.

  And I soaked it in.

  Now, it was girls’ night, which was typically always a good time, and this one was no different, if you didn’t count all the conversation focusing on me and my situation with Sean.

  I never should’ve told them a damn thing.

  Jenna was sitting next to me in the rounded booth we were occupying, wearing a cute little black dress that wasn’t as clingy as the one I had on, but still showed major cleavage. Sydney was on the other side of me, also dressed in a little black dress, this one clingy in a halter style. Tori was sitting in a chair at the end, her little black dress putting a whole new meaning to the word little. It clung majorly, showed cleavage, and had slits going up both sides, showing a peek of skin.

  The theme of the night, you guessed it, was little black dresses.

  I loved going out with a theme, especially when it didn’t require shopping to find something appropriate. I’d had my little black, strapless number I was wearing for years. It was a favorite of mine.

  It made my butt look amazing, it somehow gave me curves I knew I did not have, and it stayed up, which was always a delight when dealing with something strapless.

  Everyone was looking great. And everyone was here, except for Kali, who was out on her first official date with Cole.

  I was hoping she was having fun. Kali deserved it. She was sweet and worked hard for her son, who didn’t have much in terms of a father figure. He was a giant, cheating loser.

  The only other one of us who had any kids was Jenna. And Brian, Syd’s guy, was babysitting them so she could go out with us tonight. I thought that was really cool of him.

  “Well, I have to say,” Jenna began, “I’ve never seen you two together, but…it definitely sounds like he’s interested in you. He was clearly jealous.”

  “Clearly. Jealous,” Tori echoed, looking at me with knowing eyes, and then sipping her drink.

  They were referring to the Patrick–Sean meeting that had taken place in my apartment two nights ago, before my spectacular ride. Really, I just wanted to talk about that. I’d like to relive it.

  “He was not jealous of Patrick,” I argued. “Can’t be jealous when you’re not interested, and he’s not interested.”

  “Fill me in on why he’s not interested again,” Jenna requested.

  God, this was not what I wanted to discuss. Maybe I’d just subtly change the subject…

  “You know what’s amazing about riding on the back of a bike?” I asked the table.

  Tori stared at me, then smiled at Jenna and informed her, “Jamie had a party last year, Shay invited Stitch, and he blew her off.”

  I dropped my head back and groaned.

  “What?” Tori asked. “That’s what happened.”

  She was not wrong. And I wasn’t groaning because she was not wrong. I was groaning because it killed me thinking about this.

  And now, I wasn’t only going to be thinking about the biggest rejection of my life, but I was also going to be talking about it. This would involve rehashing that nightmare and all the feelings I felt that day, which would lead to me feelings those feelings all over again.

  Great.

  “Okay, yes, that’s what happened. Fine. And there’s your proof, right there.” I looked at Jenna. “You see? He can’t be jealous because he isn’t interested in me like that. I asked him out and Sean made it really, really clear he didn’t want to go out with me—I waited for him outside after work, he knew I was waiting for him, and he didn’t even look at me when he walked out. He just left. Turned and left. Did not look back. So, trust me when I say, he isn’t interested.”

  Pain circled my heart. Ignoring it was a lost cause, so I didn’t even bother. I just felt it.

  “Well then, what about throwing away the flowers?” Syd asked.

  I looked at her. “I don’t know. Maybe he just hates flowers.”

  It was an honest guess. Sean wasn’t exactly the type of guy to have a line of credit going at 1-800-flowers. Maybe he had a bad experience with a florist once. I didn’t know.

  “Come on, Shay.” This plea came from Tori.

  “Come on what?” I asked, my voice raising and drawing attention from the patrons around us.

  I shouldn’t have been yelling, but there were a lot of emotions involved here, and I was not one to keep a good hold on my emotions, I never had been, no matter if I was in a public place or not.

  “Just admit to the possibility of Sean being jealous,” Tori pleaded.

  “He doesn’t like me like that,” I snapped. “We’re just friends. I’m his buddy, that’s it. And you know what? Being his friend means a lot to me, because I can see just how much it means to him. I’ve come to the conclusion that, aside from his ex, nobody was ever good to him. Ever. I’m talking not even when he was a little kid. Take a second and think about that. He thinks he’s nothing, because people told him that over and over until it stuck. And I’m doing everything I can and will continue doing everything I can to convince him that he is someone who matters and means something, and not just to me. I’ll be his friend. I’ll be whatever he needs me to be. And if that means I have to bury my feelings for him and never, ever act on them, then so be it. Sean’s self-worth matters more to me anyway.”

  I drained my Creamsicle, then pointed at the waitress walking past our booth. “Yo! Can I get another?” I asked her.

  The waitress acknowledged me, then gestured around the table with the pen in her hand. “Anyone else ready?”

  Nobody said a word.

  I glanced around at the three sets of eyes all glued on me—all glassed over with emotion. That couldn’t be right. I blinked the haze of alcohol away and glanced again.

  Still glassy.

  “What?” I questioned the table.

  Being ignored, the waitress stepped away.

  Sydney was the first to speak, and she did it with tears in her eyes. “Um, I just really want him coming to Sunday dinner. He belongs there with us. I want him to know that.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I’ll be sure to mention it to him. I’d like him there too.”

  “Also, I think what you’re doing for him is quite amazing,” she added.

  “He deserves it,” I said. “I
’m not doing anything he shouldn’t have been getting his entire life.”

  “May I say something?” Jenna asked.

  I looked to her. “Of course, as long as you’re not going to tell me how interested he is again.”

  She smiled and pushed her long, dark hair back over her shoulder. “Not that directly, no.”

  “Even indirectly, save it.”

  “Just hear me out,” she requested.

  The waitress returned with my drink. I popped the straw in my mouth and narrowed my eyes at Jenna, took a generous sip, then waved her on. “Fine. Go.”

  She slid her mostly finished drink to the side and angled herself to face me. “Okay, first, I don’t even know this man, but I’m telling you right now, when I do meet him for the first time, I will be hugging him.”

  I smiled at her.

  “Yeah, Stitch is definitely getting embraced. Jesus.” Tori shook her head. “I hate it when children are dealt shitty parents.”

  “It’s a terrible thing that happens every day, unfortunately,” Jenna said, then turning back to me, she continued. “I’m wondering, because of his horrible upbringing and the way he views himself, if maybe he doesn’t feel worthy of you…and that’s why he hasn’t made any attempt to take your friendship any further.”

  Tori began nodding fast, and pointed at me when I looked at her. “Absolutely. That’s it. Nail on the head, right there.”

  “And he’s probably felt this way since last year, when you asked him out,” Jenna went on. “Which was why he blew you off the way he did. Not that I’m excusing rude behavior, because he could’ve told you he wasn’t planning on going or at least been a little nicer in his rejection, but I’m thinking this is some deep-rooted issue with him. He sees himself as nothing, you said it. And then he sees you as, well…you. You’re sweet and beautiful and kind to him, Shay, and he doesn’t feel deserving of it.”

  I had stopped sipping my drink, but my fingers were still wrapped around the stem of my glass, and hearing what Jenna had just said, they were now gripping it tightly.

  Even in my half-drunk state, I was fully processing what she was saying. I just didn’t know whether or not to believe it as a true possibility.

  “Oh, my God,” Syd whispered.

  My head snapped left. “What?”

  “Oh, my God,” she repeated, still as a whisper as her eyes stayed unfocused on the table.

  “What, hon. Spill it!” Tori shouted.

  Syd looked over at me. “I can’t believe I forgot about this,” she said. “I mean, at the time, it was such a passing thing, and I didn’t press…”

  “What?” I yelled, needing to know what the hell she was talking about already.

  “After the party last year, I was working at Whitecaps and Stitch was, you know, Stitch. Broody. Making all kinds of noise in that kitchen. He was in such a bad mood back then.” She grinned at me. “And look at him now. I almost saw a smile out of him the other day.”

  “Syd.” I leaned closer and snarled, “Focus.”

  “Right. Anyway, he was glaring at you while you were filling salt shakers or something, and I suggested he just talk to you and quit with the whole silent treatment thing, and he said something about you having this light, and him not being good enough for it.”

  My eyes widened.

  “He said that?” Tori questioned.

  “See,” Jenna said.

  Syd nodded in confirmation. “In very few words, yes, that’s what he told me. He said you invited him to that party and what would he do there? Like he didn’t belong, you know? And then he said he had no business being around you. That you had light. He thinks you have light, Shay. And he doesn’t think he can touch it. He’s not good enough.”

  “Yes, he is!” I blurted out in anger, which was purely reactional, since Syd wasn’t meaning what she’d said as a putdown; she was simply stating how Sean felt about himself. Regretting my outburst, I winced and leaned away. “Um, sorry. I know you’re not saying he’s not good enough. I just hear that and, well, it pisses me off.”

  She pulled her lips between her teeth and fought a smile.

  “Holy shit. He’s totally staying in the friend zone with you because he doesn’t think he’s worthy of more,” Tori said. “Holy shit! You gotta make a move, Shay.”

  “Huh?”

  “Make a move,” Tori repeated. “Stitch won’t. He’s probably scared to.”

  “Aw, bless his sweet, little heart,” Jenna said, her hand to her chest. “Can we go hug him now?”

  “Sure! Shay needs to make her move anyway.” Tori picked up her drink and held it out in front of her. “Right, Shay?”

  I opened my mouth to respond, then realizing I didn’t have the words yet, lifted my drink and downed a generous amount of it. Then I licked cold Creamsicle off my lips and glanced around the table.

  The girls were all staring at me, smiling, looking anxious.

  I released my drink and touched my cool hand to my neck.

  My skin was flushed and hot all over. My heart was pounding. I began breathing faster, thinking about what Syd had revealed and what Tori was suggesting I do, plus, I was definitely half drunk and well on my way to being fully drunk.

  Could I go make a move on Sean? Was that even a good idea? What if he rejected me again?

  What if they were right, though?

  He said I had light. Me. And I knew Syd wasn’t drunk enough to make up something like that. She was tipsy. All the girls were. Not wasted to the point of inventing some conversation that never took place, though, meaning it absolutely took place.

  Oh, my God.

  There was a very, very strong possibility the girls were right about him. He didn’t feel worthy. And he was absolutely worthy. Not just of me, but of everything good this world had to offer him. Of love. Of kindness.

  And I was going to make sure he knew that for good.

  Tonight.

  Drinks, and then game on.

  “Jenna, how come you aren’t hooked up yet?” Tori asked from the front seat of the Uber we’d hitched after finishing up with our drinks at Low Bar.

  We were on our way to Sean’s house so I could make my move.

  Nerves aside, I couldn’t stop smiling.

  And giggling. Everything became hilarious to me when I drank.

  Like our driver—his name was B.J.

  Come on.

  “You’re gorgeous,” Tori went on, turning halfway in her seat and looking back at Jenna, who was seated by the other window, directly behind Tori. Syd was in the middle. “Just look at your cheekbones! Plus, you’re sweet. And you still got a killer body after popping out twins.” Tori glanced to the driver. “Doesn’t she? She’s a hot piece, right, B.J.?”

  I clapped my hand over my mouth and giggled again.

  “Uh, I don’t know. I guess,” B.J. answered, suddenly looking uneasy behind the wheel.

  He reminded me of my old math teacher from high school. Real buttoned up. I wasn’t sure he’d ever thought about anyone being a hot piece before.

  Tori scowled at him.

  “I date here and there,” Jenna said. “But most of the guys either aren’t good enough to meet my kids and I find that out after one date, or they hear about my kids and never call me again.”

  “That’s fucking rude,” I snapped, sitting forward to look at her. “Sean has kids, and I love that about him.”

  Jenna smiled.

  Looking to Syd, I saw she was smiling too. And because I knew Tori was most likely grinning, not just smiling, I refused to look at her and kept my eyes down until I could resume looking out my window.

  Then I giggled for no apparent reason.

  “So, what’s the game plan here?” Sydney asked. “I mean, after we all shower Stitch in affection.”

  “Shay is going to make her move on him,” Tori informed.

  “Alone,” I added, glancing around the car. “You hug him and then you leave. I’m not doing this with an audience.”

 
; “Oh, come on,” Tori pleaded.

  “No way.”

  “I could take pictures!” Syd suggested. “Or a video. Ooh! I could add it to your Snap!”

  I loved the idea of having a keepsake of this moment, especially one with a cool filter involved, but still, I shook my head. “No. Blowjob here is going to wait for you to finish with your hugs. Then he’s taking you home. Right, Blowjob?” I sat forward, held onto his headrest, and grinned at him in the rearview while the girls burst out laughing.

  “Haven’t heard that one before,” he retorted.

  “You haven’t heard it from me,” I said.

  “Now I can die a happy man.”

  “That’s the spirit!”

  The car slowed to make a turn, and looking out the front window, I saw Sean’s house in the distance.

  “Oh, my God,” I whispered, pressing my back against the seat.

  This was it. We were here. I was actually going to do this.

  “This is so exciting!” Syd exclaimed, bouncing beside me.

  I gripped the door handle and looked out my window.

  We passed the driveway and slowed to a stop in front of the house. There was a car I didn’t recognize parked in front of Sean’s bike. A dark four-door.

  I worried the girls and Val were here. I couldn’t invade during his time with them. That was way more important than my stupid move.

  “Um, I don’t know if this is a good time,” I said.

  “What? No way. You are doing this, Shay.” Tori was adamant.

  I shook my head, looking from the car to the front door as it opened. Maybe they were leaving?

  “Wait. Look,” I said, my finger pressing to the glass.

  A woman stepped out of the house.

  Not Val. I knew Val.

  This woman looked to be around the same age, though. She was wearing a silver sequinned dress that showed a lot of leg and dipped low in the front, her hair was teased out to high heaven, and not in a good way, and she was wearing more makeup than any woman ever should. Even under the porch light, I could tell it was spackled on.

  “What the heck?” I whispered.

  “Who is that?” Jenna asked.