Amber Smoke

by Kristin Cast

  “See? I know fashion. Now, let’s go find some shoes.”

  Eva sucked in an excited gulp of air. “Shoes?!”

  Lori collected her purse and opened the dressing room door. “For me, not you. Come find me after you’re dressed.”

  Eva exhaled and slowly changed back into her clothes. “Good thing we wear the same size shoes.”

  She hung the dress back on its hanger and draped it over her arm. She took one more look at herself and smoothed out her frizzy flyaways before leaving the dressing room.

  "Mom?" Eva stretched out her neck and called out over the racks of clothing. "Lori?"

  "Over here!” Eva spotted her mother's arms flailing next to the end of season shoe sale rack.

  "Coming!" she called back.

  “What do you think about these?” Lori opened the shoebox once Eva was in range. Nestled among white tissue paper lay a pair of sparkly gold wedges.

  “Super cute!” Eva chirped. “Are they on sale?”

  Lori scoffed. “Of course not. They’re Jimmy Choos.”

  “I thought we were only getting stuff that’s on sale.”

  “No, you’re only getting stuff that’s on sale because you don’t have a job. I, however, can get what I want.” She grinned.

  “But you told me that my job is finishing school.” Eva followed her mom to the store’s purse section.

  “Right.”

  “Okay, but that doesn’t make any sense. I can’t buy my own stuff because I don’t have a job because you told me not to get one.”

  “Right.” Lori held up a designer handbag and looked at herself in the mirror. The round mound of frizzy multicolored tassels reminded Eva of something she pulled out of their clogged vacuum.

  Eva scrunched her nose. “I wouldn’t go with that one.” Lori hung it back on the rack. “So, I’m totally confused, and I feel like I’m being punished for still being in school.” Eva pooched out her bottom lip.

  “You know damn well you’re not being punished. And you’re twenty-three years old. That pouty face you have on doesn’t work on me anymore.”

  She shrugged. “It was worth a try.”

  Lori pulled another purse from the rack and modeled it in front of the mirror.

  “It’s been a while since you’ve said anything about William.” Eva demonstrated her best Downton Abbey accent when pronouncing his name. “Well, not since he left for Mexico. Is he back yet?”

  “Bill’s been back for a while now. Remember, we saw him a couple weeks ago when we were at Home Depot getting more birdseed?”

  Eva looked blankly at her mom while she searched her memories.

  Lori continued, “He was buying those chains to help the guys who are renovating his basement.”

  Eva had met Bill only once before, but something about the way he looked at her that day had made her skin crawl. He hadn’t been inappropriate, and Eva couldn’t even pinpoint what made her so uncomfortable. There was just something off about him. I’m sure it’s something that you’ve made up in your head. Don’t go all crazy, possessive daughter because your mom finally has a boyfriend. She forced the images from her mind.

  “Well, I’ve seen him a couple times since the store, but…” Lori trailed off.

  “You’re going to fire him, aren’t you? Oh my God, he’s totally fired,” Eva blurted, surprised by how much joy the thought brought her.

  “No, he’s not going anywhere. I still like him. I know you’ve only seen him a couple times, but you like him, right?”

  Eva looked away from her mom and shrugged. “I don’t really know him.”

  Lori’s shoulders slumped slightly, and she hung the bag back on the rack.

  “But, when I did meet him, he seemed really great,” she lied, instantly regretting not supporting her mom. “And from everything you’ve told me, he’s really nice too.”

  “True, but he’s been kind of different ever since he came back from that mission trip. You’d think setting out on a road trip to go help people build houses would make him more appreciative, not weird.” The mall was busy with Labor Day sales shoppers, and Lori led the way to the long line for the register. “I’m not really sure how to explain it, I guess.” She adjusted the shoebox she held on her hip like a baby.

  “Now I’m invested in the story. You have to try to explain. You can’t just stop there. How is he being different? I need specifics.” Eva took a moment to think about what she’d said then added, “But not too specific, of course.”

  “Well, he’s not as affectionate and gentlemanly as he was before. He used to hold my hand, open doors for me, rub my feet. He hasn’t done any of that since he’s been home.”

  “I wouldn’t want to rub your feet either.” Eva chuckled and pinched the tip of her nose.

  “I’m being serious, Eva.”

  “Okay, okay. Sorry. He might be scared. Didn’t you tell me that you’re the first person he’s dated since his divorce? Maybe it’s too soon for him.” The line moved forward, and they shuffled closer to the checkout counter.

  “Yeah, I guess he might feel like things have been moving too fast.”

  “You should talk to him tonight when you go out.” She could tell her mom was upset and tried to brighten the mood. “Where are you guys going?”

  “To the Lorton Performance Center at the university. I got free tickets from work to go see the ballet perform tonight. I know you hate any stage performance that doesn’t involve singing, so Bill’s going to be my date,” Lori said, sounding a little more chipper.

  “I don’t hate the ballet. I just don’t understand why they can’t break out into song every once and a while. Life would just be so much better as a musical. When is Bill coming by to pick you up?”

  “I’m taking my car, but he’ll stop by the house for a second first. He’s going to follow me to the Performance Center. We’ll leave his car there if we go anywhere after.”

  “You still have an issue with the way he drives?”

  “God, it’s so annoying. He does the speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down thing. It makes me want to scream every time I’m in the car with him. But I think I’ve done a pretty good job avoiding the issue. Hence, the whole he’s following me and we’ll drop his car off when we need to thing. I really don’t think he suspects anything.”

  “Yet,” Eva interjected. “You can’t refuse to ride with him forever.”

  “Sure I can. You never drive when we’re together.”

  “You’ve been tricking me for the past seven years? That’s not very nice.” They finally reached the register, and Eva carefully lowered the dress onto the counter.

  “But you didn’t figure it out until just now.”

  Eva opened her mouth but couldn’t think of a witty retort. “True.”

  “Did y’all find everything okay today?” the cashier asked cheerily.

  “Yes, thank you,” Lori replied while digging through her luggage-size purse.

  “Too bad you didn’t find a smaller bag,” Eva snickered.

  “My purse works just fine, thank you. Everything I need is in here.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t ever find exactly what you’re looking for.”

  “Can too.” Lori pulled out her wallet.

  “Gross, Lori. It’s covered in old Kleenex fuzz.”

  Lori put the tissue back in her purse. “But you love me anyway.”

  “Well, of course I love you. I just don’t love all the dried up snot you carry with you.”

  Lori laughed and handed the cashier her credit card before she had time to announce the total.

  “Thanks for the dress, Mom.” Eva leaned the side of her head against her mom’s. “I can’t wait to wear it tonight.”

  “You’re going to look beautiful. Just like your mama.”

  She and Lori linked arms and headed for the doors leading to the parking lot.

  Three

  Mahna mahna. Do doo be-do-do. Mahna Mahna. Do do-do do. Mahna Mahna. Do doo be-do-do be-do-do be
-do-do be-do-do-doddle do do do-doo do!

  The Muppets alarm cheerfully squawked through Eva’s gold phone, waking her from a much-needed nap. She groped around her bedside table for her bottle-cap lens glasses, but instead knocked everything off to the floor.

  “Shit!” She rolled to her side and felt around the carpet for her glasses. “There you are.” She used the bottom of her shirt to wipe off the fingerprints before pushing them onto her face.

  She hung her head over the edge of the bed and picked up the candle and picture frame she had pushed onto the floor.

  In the photo, a ten-year-old Eva flashed a wide smile at the camera. Her arm stretched around an equally excited girl with bright green eyes and messy blond pigtails.

  Eva’s ringtone blared, and she slid her thumb up the face of the phone. “Hey! I was just thinking about you.”

  “I am all sorts of fabulous,” Bridget replied.

  “Do you remember when we got lost together in the rain forest exhibit at the zoo?” She flipped onto her back and held the picture above her face.

  “Of course! And that weird bird wouldn’t stop screeching and pulling my hair. He was doing me a favor though. I did look like that blond Powerpuff Girl. So embarrassing.”

  Eva snorted with laughter.

  “But, that’s the day we became best friends!” Bridget trilled. “We spent so much time there and at Mohawk Park. We definitely deserve some kind of plaque.”

  “For sure, and I think being attacked by a bird was worth it.” Eva grinned, returning the picture to the table.

  “So, what have you been doing since you got home from the mall?”

  “Studying,” she groaned.

  “Studying?” Bridget enunciated the word like it was foreign. “I still can’t figure out why you won’t just hurry up and graduate.”

  “I can’t decide on a major that I’ll be good at and will actually land me a job when I get out of school. So I keep advancing, just to fall back when I switch. Not all of us can be as lucky as you are.”

  “Just because I have a trust fund doesn’t mean I don’t have a job,” Bridget said, pretending to sound offended.

  “You work twice a week at the cutest, most expensive clothing store in Tulsa.”

  “Right! That’s sort of why I’m calling. I need to know what you’re wearing tonight. I went by work earlier and picked up a few things, but I don’t want to be so overdressed that it looks weird. But if you’re going to be, like, super dressed up, then I’ll get super dressed up, and we’ll be super dressed up and gorgeous together!”

  “Don’t get too excited. I’m only going to be sort of dressed up. I’m wearing the new dress my mom bought me and her new gold shoes.”

  Bridget sucked in air. “The Jimmy Choos you texted me about? They’re out of stock in my size, and I would kill to get my hands on those shoes. How did you get her to agree to that?”

  Eva lay back on her bed. “I didn’t. I just took them from her closet. But I’ll put them back as soon as I get home, and she’ll never even know they were gone. It’s not like anything’s going to happen to them.”

  “I wish I could borrow my mom’s shoes. She has the most fabulous collection of Manolo’s. But she also has huge Sasquatch feet, which totally ruins everything. Shit, hang on.” Bridget moved the phone and only muffled whines seeped through to Eva. “Okay. Yes. I’m telling her right now. My mother says hi.”

  “Tell her I said hi back. Wait, why are you at your parents’ house?”

  “They’re going to some kind of benefit charity thing tonight, and I had to drop off a dress she ordered from the store. And now I’m mooching food. Oh, she also wants me to tell you to Google the KOTV news clip about the murderer guy.”

  “What murderer guy?”

  “I don’t know. I try not to watch the news. It depresses me.”

  Eva’s pillow squished farther into the bed as she shook her head at her carefree friend. “But aren’t we supposed to know what’s going on in the world? Especially in our own town?”

  “So, you check out the video and tell me if there’s anything worth knowing. Unless, of course, it’s like gross or sad or something.” Eva heard Bridget’s please-and-thank-you smile through the phone. “And I have to get back to my condo and finish putting my face on. I’ll see you tonight at the Ambassador!”

  “Sounds good. I’ll see you soon!”

  Eva tapped the glowing “end” square on her phone.

  “Eva! Do you know where my new wedges are?” Her mother’s shouts grew louder as she closed in on Eva’s room. “I just bought them, and they’ve already mysteriously disappeared.”

  Eva hefted herself off the bed and met Lori in the doorway. “Umm, nope. Haven’t seen ’em.”

  “Damn. Bill’s going to be here,” she began as she brushed her thick brown hair behind her ear and glanced down at her watch, “in less than an hour, and I have no idea where they are.”

  “Maybe you accidently covered up the box with something.” Eva felt the lie painting her cheeks red. She squeezed through the doorway and quickly walked to the stairs before Lori could notice.

  “That does sound like me. They’re probably sitting in plain sight somewhere. If you see them let me know,” Lori called after her.

  “Will do,” Eva shouted. She tried to shake the icky-lie feeling from her shoulders as she headed for the refrigerator. “It’s not like I was really lying. Just bending the truth.” She grabbed hummus and a chopped cucumber from the fridge. “Okay, bending the truth is lying, but whatever. Tomorrow, it won’t matter. She’ll have her shoes back. No big deal.”

  She dunked a cucumber slice into the hummus and took a bite. The familiar flavors brought her back to being a little girl. She could practically smell the lamb cooking on the stovetop while her Yiayiá waddled around the kitchen, instructing Eva in broken English on the proper knife holding technique.

  “Like this, Eva. Like this. Then slice. Now try, try.” Yiayiá had placed a cucumber on a cutting board and put a sharp blade into Eva’s hand, handle side first. Then she stood back and observed.

  Eva had made one slice before her finger got in the way. The blood hadn’t scared her, and now she couldn’t even remember the pain, the only thing she could remember was her Yiayiá. The elderly woman wailed. “Oh no, no, no,” she chanted, along with some choice phrases in Greek. She rushed to Eva, towel in hand, and pressed against the wound. “No cut no more. I cut,” she insisted. “I cut.” Yiayiá clutched Eva tight to her ample bosom, the scent of anisette and lamb powerful and intoxicating. After a few minutes rocking her back and forth, Yiayiá took the towel off of Eva’s wound. “Good yes? Like new?” she examined the tiny cut on Eva’s finger, now mostly clotted. Yiayiá took down a bandage and wrapped it. Eva proudly sported the sparkly bandage until it grew dingy and fell off in the tub. Eva remembered her Yiayiá returning to the lamb, but looking at the towel, at the small speckles of blood, and saying to herself, in perfect English, “I can see it. There, in her blood. Listen as it whispers to you. She must die to live again.”

  That sour turn of the memory made Eva’s stomach clench. She put the food back in the fridge and jogged upstairs to her room.

  Lori followed her in with a sigh. “I have no idea what I did with my shoes. I can’t find them anywhere.”

  Eva walked to the radish-colored bathroom attached to her mauve bedroom. “Bummer. Sorry you can’t find your shoes. Need a pair of mine?”

  “No, I’m going to wear these. It’s frustrating because I know they’re here somewhere, but I don’t have time to look. Bill’s going to be early. Just wanted to let you know that I’m heading out.”

  Eva poked her finger into one eye, waiting for the familiar suction feel of the contact before leaning out of the doorframe to respond. “Have fun tonight.”

  “You too. And don’t forget to call for an Uber if you drink. Or you can call me. I’m sure I’ll be home early enough to be your designated.”

  “Will do.” />
  “Eva?”

  Eva looked up. “What’s up?”

  “Be responsible tonight.”

  “Always.”

  Lori turned to leave, but spun back around. “Eva?”

  “What?”

  “Also have fun. Be responsible but have fun. Ooooh, be responsible for having fun.” Pleased with herself, Lori grabbed her keys and smiled.

  Eva watched her mom slowly turn to leave, still scanning the floor for her sparkly shoes, and hoped she would age as gracefully. Lori’s voluptuous frame was reminiscent of the great Marilyn Monroe, and the thin laugh lines that crept from the corners of her almond eyes gave a nod to her happy spirit. She was way too pretty for Bill, and Eva didn’t understand what her mom saw in him. Sure, he was attractive in a bland, plastic way, had money, and took her to nice places, but there was something off about him. The memory of him at Home Depot again entered Eva’s mind. He was too smiley. Like the Joker. And he smelled funny. Not like stinky garbage funny, or even old man funny, just funny. But Bill was the first man who’d made her mom happy since her dad left.

  “Oh well,” Eva sighed aloud to her reflection. She didn’t care whether or not her mom dated, but she didn’t like to think about her dad abandoning them. Eva studied herself in the mirror. It had been so long since she had seen her dad in person; she had a hard time identifying which parts of her face belonged to him. She had her mother’s almond-shaped eyes, round face, high cheekbones, and full lips. It wasn’t that she didn’t know what her father looked like. Lori swooned and called Eva into the living room each time John Stamos came on TV advertising Greek yogurt. She swore Dean could be his doppelganger, and from the pictures Eva saw, she wasn’t too far off. Thanks to John Stamos, and some very old photos, Eva knew her tan skin tone was because of her father. She brought her hand to her face. Is this his nose?

  Rooooaaarrr! Chewbacca’s howl went off, signifying a new text, and she fought the urge to squeal.